gray is the color I see around her, and she's just a blur.

~nickel creek

My mother informed me last night that I’m in my “gray period.”

And she’s right.

Last night I bought a gray suitcase* and I drive a gray car, my new duvet is gray. I recently decided that should I have a little boy, I might want to name him Grey, to be honest. It’s everywhere, really.

But what does it mean?

Gray is a neutral, balanced color. It is cool, conservative and seldom evokes strong emotion although it can be seen as a cloudy or moody color. It symbolizes stability, power, trustworthiness, friendship, helpful people, travel, security, reliability, intelligence, staid, modesty, dignity, dependability, maturity, old age and sadness. Its energy imparts void, emptiness, lack of movement, emotion, warmth and identifying characteristics. Because of this, it can be restful. It has a detached and isolated feeling. Gray can have a cooling effect when placed next to other more vibrant colors and also a stabilizing effect, making vibrant colors stand out while muting their vibration. It connotes responsibility and conservative practicality and is the Christian color for the season of Lent.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that gray ain’t my forte. I’m a color-lover. As Turner put it, my favorite color is SPECTRUM. I love them all. Some more than others, but deep down inside, I know that even puke green has its merits.

Yet I chose the gray suitcase.
And the gray duvet.
And the gray car.
and even bought gray wrapping paper last week.
gray, gray, gray.

My.
My.
My.

I talked to Jessica about it last night, and we agreed that as long as I don’t go into a black period, we’re okay—especially because we’d have to call that my funeral period. And, uh, I don’t want to have a funeral *period.* I want to have A funeral. And be cremated. And have the hymn of promise sung. I don’t want to have a funeral-like time in my life. n-o-f-u-n.

*so, back to the suitcase story. I bought a new one for what may be the most ridiculous reason EVER. So, if you’ve been reading for a while, you might remember my pink luggage I bought in Tulsa. It was suuuuper cheap, and I bought it ‘cause I was coming home with more than I had when I left. And then, last year, I bought a pale pink northface backpack, right? Well, when I use the two together, I feel like a complete tool. Or a twelve-and-a-half-year-old girl. It’s actually rather embarrassing. So, I invested in a new suitcase. Because I’m tired of feeling like an idiot.

What made this mildly more hilarious, though, is when I came home and got a phone call from the guy who I went to lunch with last week. We had a really, really fun convo that lasted for an hour and fifteen minutes!!! But he asked what I was up to, and I said I’d gone to choir and purchased a suitcase. He was surprised I didn’t have one already, and asked why I got a new one, and I felt compelled to tell him the whole story. I’m very glad that he laughed. :) It was fun talking to him, and I’m looking forward to our date, even though it’s a week and a day away—including my time TOMORROW IN LOS ANGELES!

Ah. I will have three short weeks in a row. I am sooooo digging this.

And, quite soonish, I will be in Tulsa. Oh, Tulsa, how I heart thee. I am uber excited!!! It’s a bummer that a ticket change is pretty impossible—$350 or more to change it on top of what I’ve already paid!—but I think I’ll still be able to make the time count. Plus, Jackie is the coolest, as she’s suggesting a place to go out on the evening of Saturday the 23^rd. Consider this your invite!

Mmm. And last rambling…I have an idea. It’s a bit much, but it’s do-able, and I believe it’s going to go on my list of goals. [and I’m sure someone else has done this and I’m sure I don’t care.] I want to take photos in all fifty states. I’m up to 8 right now, and I’ll bring it to 9 this weekend and 10 in Jan/Feb when I go to Texas. I still have my Hawaii ones, but they weren’t digital, and I *might* just have to go back there again. And Adrienne lives in Alaska. Del in Florida. My Wittle in Illinois. Erik in Delaware. Mary Alise is from ‘Bama. Tuck’s in Colorado. I think you get the idea...

…this plan sounds more fun than grad school…
or maybe I should just go volunteer for a year with jeremy.

oregon for thanksgiving: saturday (and sunday)

this one's a quickie. because, well, saturday went by quickly...

we were *going* to go on an underground tour of portland, but it was sold out. however, it worked out for the best, as instead we went to multnomah falls! It was so pretty but cold and misty, and we totally gave up about halfway up the trail. I don't go on vacay to work, dang it!

I took a whole lot of pictures--they're here.

Then, after some much-needed eggnog latte and/or biscotti (my first ever, by the way) and/or hot chocolate, I hugged a tree. I had really really been looking forward to finding a big big tree and hugging it. (seriously!)
and jeremy and I noticed the funny sign on the bathroom. maybe it's hibernating for the winter? who knows?!?
And here's Jeremy and me in front of the falls!

we had dinner at Kim's sister Jessica's house, and it was g-double-o-d. Jessica's two sons, Braydon and Damion, kept making Jeremy dress up, and at one point made me too.

The younger one, Braydon, insisted I take pictures of both him and me under the tree (he posed me like that, by the way--he was very particular!),


and he had to take this one too. he insisted! yikes.
and here's Atanas getting in on the picture action. LOTS of pictures.

We also had a very interesting convo about tattoos. Getting them, why people get them, what they get, the process, etc. And then, someone told a story about a white supremacist guy in the army with a swastika tattoo on his chest who refused to shower because he knew what might be in store for him once his tattoos were seen. I said, "man, I can't believe that people put stuff like that on their bodies. Like, something so offensive. I mean, I understand that it means something to him, but really....I understand tattoos of crosses or other such symbols (icthuses, the hindi version of the swastika, the celtic tree of life, what have you) but I don't think that crosses are offensive in nearly the same way."

boy, was I wrong.
[apparently]
eventually, we agreed that the difference in the two--the swastika v. the cross, is intent. By wearing a cross or having a tattoo of one you aren't announcing your hatred of someone/thing/body. but the cross, in some cultures, can offend someone.

I guess. again with me feeling rather conservative, again. le sigh.

then, after the hug line for the boys, and the hugs and goodbyes for the adults, it was off to the airport for my redeye flight. yuck. I got terribly annoyed while there because 1) they didn't have a seat for me yet, 2) I was flying on two airlines and therefore couldn't check in my bags curbside and 3) I had to walk and walk and walk to find a place to buy water--I have never been so pleased not to buy something with alcohol in a bar, EVER. Thank goodness I found some H2O though.

and? my body is STILL not adjusted back. STILL. this was probably helped immensely by the girl next to me on the four hour flight from portland to chicago--the one who smacked her gum the whole damn time? yeah, her. she needs a bad haircut. grrrr....

but, I made it home safe, sound and uneventfully.

tomorrow: about my gray phase.

oregon for thanksgiving: friday

Friday morning we wake up, intent upon going to BLACK FRIDAY sales, as Atanas is experiencing his first Thanksgiving, and he wants to get the whole package. Kim thinks we’re crazy and stays home. I can't say I blame her. We got there too late to get the early-bird sales tho...

We take the bus to the mall (which was a brilliant idea!) and upon arriving see that it’s not nearly as crowded as we’d anticipated. Not nearly.

After a quick breakfast/brunch/lunch and my first ever purchase from Jamba Juice, the shopping begins.

By the way, what’s with everything being hooded? I mean, everything?!? Weird, I think. But anyhoo…I bought a few things, but nothing exciting. I *almost* bought this coat, but talked myself out of it. If it had been shorter, I soooo would have gotten it. Oregon doesn’t have sales tax, and that was nice!!! And I bought this very cute scarf with, um skulls and crossbones on it. Seriously. But from a distance, you can't even tell. And, there was a LEGO store!!! They had this wall of blocks, and I thought they had pink ones, but they were just flowers. :( Jeremy has assured me that if I come to San Diego we can go to LegoLand, and I will be in nerdy-kid heaven.

ps-found some fun pics...I would have liked them to have the pink one--and if they'd had this many colors you KNOW I would have purchased them.

Instead, I left with a keychain!

After a few hours in the mall, some godiva chocolate, a trip to Nordy’s and Williams Sonoma, we made our way to the grocery store to get some fixin’s—I made a pumpkin pie for dessert and we had leftovers and a nut roast (which was surprisingly good!) for dinner. We played scrabble while it cooked, though we never got to finish the game…And lots of funny things were said that I can no longer remember, but if one pops back up, I’ll let you know. And then?

then?

Then we saw Little Miss Sunshine at this really cool kinda old-ee theatre. That movie is damn funny. Both friggin hilarious and gut wrenching at the same time! I’m not sure if it was the wine or the pear cider or the sitting beside Jeremy, but I laughed A LOT. And I kept saying “oh, no, what if THIS happens” and it kept happening. But it was still not predictable. If you haven’t seen it, go check it out for a good laugh.

It made me want to buy the shirt of this that I saw at Urban Outfitters, but now that Britney Spears is wearing on I think I'm required to opt out of it. Perhaps I can get a different character? Eh. Maybe none of the above is best.

I also tried to take some interesting pics of this cool tree, but they came out icky. Prolly ‘cause I was a skosh tipsy and still reeling from that movie!

We came home and talked about all sorts of things. Cricket, Kim’s cat, got the royal treatment, too—y’know those back massager things with four sticks with balls on them? Well, Kim had one that vibrated too, and Cricket lluuuuurrrrvvveeess it. Kim did imitations of people from their school in London-Richmond -and Jeremy and I made TU comments too. For a while the topic wandered to things like genital mutilation and how the US is a bully and I think I blocked the rest of it out on purpose. I felt like they (except Jeremy) felt about me like how I feel about most Oklahomans. [that sentence was awkward, eh? what I mean is, talking to them made me feel like I was a conservative instead of a liberal, ‘cause they’re waaay more liberal then I am—perhaps I’m actually a moderate, no?]

I had them listen to the first Gray’s Anatomy cd, and Andrew Bird, and they introduced me to an electropop-ish group called The Knife. And we had dessert—and whipped the cream by shaking it! And then, at dark thirty (double dark thirty by carrie standard), Jeremy and I had some more airborne, and we all went to bed. snug as a bug in a rug.

oregon for thanksgiving: thursday

(per your request…)

for those of you who don’t yet know, I have bad travel karma. It seems like if someone is going to have a problem, it’s gonna be me. With this in mind…

I had a long trip ahead of me...see? Looks kinda scary on the map.
Thursday AM I got to the airport an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight. Figuring my security wait would be long, I used the skycap for my suitcase. He kindly agreed to not weigh my bag, and I kindly gave him a fiver.

Security took five minutes. Maybe less. They didn’t have to go through my bags, I didn’t get “screened” and I even had time to get my stuff all back where I wanted it without being rushed off. This, clearly, made me leery.

I then proceeded to my gate. Which didn’t change! I found a place to sit, and watched the weather channel for a bit. And got on my flight, which was on time and quiet. The flight attendants were kind, and I had a nice little nap on my way to the impending horror that most people refer to as Chicago’s O’hare airport.

Upon our arrival, I found that my next flight was only a few gates down, the airport was pretty empty, and there were plenty of places for me to sit while I waited. I read, I talked on the phone, I had lunch (and some huge amount vitamin c in an odawalla bottle!), and kept getting more and more anxious about the travel disasters that were clearly lurking in the wings, waiting to jump out and wreak havoc. I also called some family members, and listened to a message from my granny that made me get all teary—about thanksgivings of yore. [single tear…]

After a few “very full flight” announcements, I boarded my plane to Portland—on time, no glitches, and with a window seat.

It was a bigger plane, the kind with three seats on each side. I remarked aloud my disbelief about the Christmas music playing in the airplane, and got a chuckle out of my neighbors in the rows in front of and behind me. You’ll notice not those beside me. Because I had a row ALL TO MYSELF. Seriously. Well, until the guy in the row ahead of me moved into the aisle seat—but that was fine by me, I still had plenty of elbow room.

And, as it turns out, I talked to him pretty much the entire four hour flight. His name is Kelly, he’s thirty three, recently divorced, has a son named Sam, does environmental chem. for a living, and likes driving and good music and books. We talked about the book I had out to read, and bands and movies and all sorts of stuff. College, careers, divorce, you name it. Our perpetually cheery and stereotypically-gay-behaving flight attendant dubbed us “social butterflies.” I was having lots of fun. And then something kinda odd happened. I went to the bathroom, and after washing and drying my hands I blew my nose—this is all normal—but the paper towel reeked of smoke! So, of course I had to share the weirdness with Kelly. We also remarked on the woman behind us, who we believe might have been recovering from chemo (hose-things on her arms? Kelly though that was what they were for?), who asked the man in the seat next to her “are you single?” “no, he said, I’m married.” “well,” she asked, “are you happily married?” “yes, I am.” He replied. She proceeded to basically throw herself at him, saying she could make him happy. I think it might have made for an awkward remaining two hours of the flight as each other's seatmates…anyhoo. So, the paper towel thing led to talking about cigars!

Kelly likes cigars a lot, he actually had some in his coat in the overhead compartment for him and his buddy to enjoy in Portland. He told me to try Onyx cigars, and I told him that Avo are my faves. It was a fun convo.

Then I decided to try for a little siesta—but no dice, as I could hear too many noises. So, instead? Yeah, we played Scrabble on my new travel Scrabble. He actually beat me by 8 points—which isn’t an easy thing to do. And for the fun and despite my loss, as we deplaned I got a consolation prize—of a cigar! Yippee.

So: flight summary? Security was a breeze, everything was on time, my seatmates were either silent or pleasant, and I arrived in Portland having caught a hour and a half nap, sixty pages into my book, with a very on par scrabble game, a short list of music/book recommendations (and I told him some music/books and to go watch garden state el pronto!) and a cigar. I. Was. Amazed.

And my official trip hadn’t even yet begun.

The rest of my Thursday was enjoyable but not riveting, as I was tired and still getting to know everyone. I waited on Jeremy in the airport, and Kim and Atanas came to pick us up. It was raining, and apparently this is (maybe) going to be the most rainy November in Portland ever. We had Thanksgiving dinner with Kim’s extended family—good food and (mostly) good convos. Well, except for the part where, upon being asked about how my identical twin and I could be so different, I very very briefly explained how you can have identical DNA and different RNA, and that a lot of traits are in your RNA…and Kim’s dad said, “you know what? I’m going to go to work on Monday, and I’m going to issue a survey, and I’m going to see if anybody even cares.” Um, harsh much? Esp when I was ASKED about it, it’s not like I brought it up. Weirdness. Anyway. Here's Kim Jeremy, Atanas and Kim's sister Jessica, from L to R.

We went back to Kim and Atanas’ place, hung out with Cricket her kitty cat, and watched some of Da Ali G show, which I’d never seen before. A little weird, but quite funny. And politically amusing. Like, Butros Butros Gali is in one of the eps, and says amusing things to “Ali G” who also keeps adding Butros-es into his name. Like Butros Butros Butros Butros Gali. Funny. Maybe you have to see it. But word to the wise? Take in small doses.

Jeremy also gave me a very excellent little present--this guy. I know that I will enjoy this very very VERY much. And anyone around me just might hate him for it, just a little.

Oh, and Jeremy and I had some Airborne. Yuck. Here’s us cheers-ing pre drink.
And then drinking.

Serious ick face. But I was hoping to avoid getting sick, y’know?

I made it until, oh, 1030 west coast time, which was pretty good considering that was 130 my time, and I’d been up since 6. and then I passed out on their couch in my counting sheep pjs. Mmmm pajamas…don’t they sound comfy right now?

i'm not sure if it's the...

vitamin c
or more vitamin c
or the lack of sleep
or the change of time zones
or the red rose tea
or the nap I had to take this afternoon because I couldn't sleep on the plane from portland to chicago 'cause this annoying girl next to me smacked her gum for FOUR hours...

but I have NO IDEA what time it is. 
which makes it hard to go to bed at a "reasonable" time.  because now, clearly, isn't a "reasonable" time.  but I'm up, and there's no rest for the weary, presently. 

more about my oregon trip when my brain isn't so fuzzy.

look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive. look me in the heart and tell me, you won't go.

How incredible. How incredibly incredible.

I went to an interfaith service last night, and it was phenomenal to see such a variety of people worshipping God together. Methodists and Baptists and Jews and Catholics and who knows who else. It was just so RIGHT.

And the part I liked best was the message. (well and the spectacular choir, but that’s not the point) It was about how skewed our society is—the what’s mine is mine, I’ve earned it, I always need more kind of mentality we’ve adopted. The “secular holiday” that Christmas has become…

And wow.
Just wow.

The man who spoke suggested two ideas I’d never really heard before—at least not like that…

1. it’s not about giving part of your earnings back to God. It’s about how much of what God has given you are you going to keep? Nothing in this world is *yours.* You don’t see U-Hauls trailing behind hearses. Be just as generous as God has been generous to you.

2. this year, at Thanksgiving, just say thanks. Don’t list the gifts or privileges or relationships you’ve been given, for in doing so you really might miss the point. I mean, you know you're thankful for them and you can tell people you're thankful, but everything, everything, is a gift. Because it’s not about what physical things you have or get, it’s about being provided for.--Just be thankful. For everything.

So in that spirit, I give thanks.

…

on to the less-*deep* blogging.

Katie Ward has given me a new addiction. It’s this stuff.

With some milk and sugar/splenda it’s deelish. And nice and warm on this blisteringly windy and miserably rainy days. Speaking of which, I’m tres annoyed because my umbrella practically snapped in two this morning, and my hair is a mess. Normally, I couldn’t care less how I look at work…but I have a lunch date today, and now I look like something that cat dragged in. Fortunately, he’s only seen me in a Halloween costume and at G-Love, where I wore not-super-cute clothes on purpose. So, hopefully, this is still “nicer” looking, even with the I’ve-been-playing-in-the-rain thing going on.

I had a funky dream last night. I always have the funky ones.

There were two me’s in the dream. A corpse and the me through whose eyes I was looking. I placed a small sunflower on each eye or corpse-me, center down, and then poured water on my eyes.

And I think I understand why I had it. A part of me is dead, it is no more, and though I am hurt, I will persevere. I am learning, and healing and understanding. And rejuvenating. And the sunflower is the coolest part of it all, I think.

And you know how sometimes a song really speaks to you? Well, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been listening to the Grey’s Anatomy soundtracks like they’re going out of style. And my fave-o-the-day is Tegan & Sara’s Where Does The Good Go. Because it says “look me in the eye.” Chew on that one, k? ;)

I think I’ll have to abandon trying to go through the rest of national-blog-posting-month. I was trying, but I kinda doubt I’ll have computer time in Portland. I’ve posted every day since I found out about it...

where does the good go? where does the good go?

everybody needs some time on their own.

Okay.
So it’s rainy outside.
And cold.
And it’s November.

for the love of pete please tell me you know where I'm going with this one...

So do enjoy this lovely ditty. It makes me giggle now. Especially because of Regina Spektor’s lyrics about it.

My test last night was horrific. I studied all the wrong things. I almost cried. No good. And then? Then I went out to dinner with Gustaaf. Note to self: do not ride on motorcycles in November. It is friggin cold. But dinner was yummy, and talking about dating was a good time too. The new perspective I’ve gained is refreshing. Carrie likes it.

Anyhoo...I’m so excited that tomorrow is the last day of the work week!
And that tomorrow I have lunch date with a guy from IBM!
And on Thursday I go to Portland!

And and and…this *was* going to be the first thanksgiving ever that I didn’t have my great grandma mae’s pumpkin pie…BUT, now I’m going to make it while I’m in Portland. This pleases me greatly.

Also, this Thursday signifies the beginning of my many weeks of travel. Yippee!!!

Gah. My blog has been lacking “substance” recently. I’ll see what I can do to rectify that. Hmmm…

oh ruby blue.

Four and more and
Five and six
Who would have believed
It would come to this?

guess what kids: IT'S ALREADY WEDNESDAY!!!*

I'm super-dee-duper excited about going to Portland on Thursday. It should be teeee-rif! There is absolutely no way to have a bad time if Jeremy Wood is around, no-sir-ee. But first? First I must tackle this test. and cheer myself up by listening to the wonderfulness that is the two Grey's Anatomy soundtracks. Check 'em, you'll dig 'em. On par with the Garden State Soundtrack, if you ask me. (which, by the way, you did. you're reading my blog, aren't you? riiiight.)

and, I've been reading this book, and I'm only fifteen pages in, and already I think it's going on my top fave books list. it's incredible. and funny. for instance. "In three minutes, 98 percent of all the matter there is or will ever be has been produced. We have a universe. It is a place of the most wondrous and gratifying possibility, and beautiful, too. And it was all done in about the time it takes to make a sandwich."

I'll have to find more quotes. I find myself wanting to highlight it. For. Fun. yikes.

work then test then beers! yippee.

Look what you do
Oh, Ruby Blue

ps-sorry for the spastic nature of the bloggage. I'm in a mood, okay. it must be from listening to ruby blue. it's my song on my myspace page now, see?

You'd better stop
And try to think
Look what you're doing
Oh, Ruby

*(well, effectively)

so please, baby, please...

open your eyes and catch my disease.

man, people are i-d-ten-tees. (get it? write it out. ha. anyhoo.)

some jerk(s?) lit first a shrubbery [to be said in monty python voice] and then the recycling bins on fire at my apt. how terrible and inconsiderate--I mean, really! yuck. asses. I called 911, and then waited for the firetruck. It was crazy! Three plastic trashcans were burnt to a crisp and you could hear the bottles popping and everything. so terrible!

today I got to sing with the choir at church. It was nice, and Lucinda, who is next to me, has a very strong voice. I'm looking forward to being up-to-speed though. I wish they sang the doxology more peppy...

ooh, and culinary question: anybody ever used an immersion blender? I was thinking about getting one, but I wasn't sure if it was worth the trouble in the first place...but tonight I'm making black bean soup, and that would have been handy.

And, I keep wishing I hadn't taken this darn class, 'cause it would be awesome if I were more interested/devoted/has more time. Yuck. Maybe that's why I'm digging this song today...

my head is a box filled with nothing
and thats the way i like it

is this home?

so, you know that feeling you get? the big-hearted one, where it feels like the world is all right, and suddenly everything is place, and there's peace and comfort and even something like awe--at life and the world around you? where it's just right? it feels like you're taking in everything, and your heart has opened up to the world and you're just soaking it all in?

I felt that earlier this week.

It had been raining, and the sun had just come out, and the trees were all dripping from the rain, the color of the leaves intensified by the droplets still clinging to them....the sunlight was reflecting on the puddles that had gathered, the pine trees were glowing and sparkling, and the wind shook refreshing little sprinkles from the tree boughs and branches.

and suddenly North Carolina felt like home. like my home. I don't believe I'll still be living here by this time next year, but it was a nice confirmation that, for now, I'm right where I should be.

the bees: ms. november

so, I saw this on myspace.

"As you all know one of the songs off our CD "High Society" is titled Ms. November, listen for inspiration and enter to win the Ms November 2006 contest!

Rules: Deadline to apply is November 30th at Midnight EST. Make a video of yourself which depicts why you should be crowned Ms November 2006, upload the video to UTube or your own Myspace page as "Official Entry to The Bees (U.S.) Ms November 2006 Contest" and send us that link to our myspace page. 18 and up only need apply (sorry our lawyer made us do that).

This is an equal opportunity contest, open to both the boys and girls, but just remember to wear your finest pageant gear.

The winner will be notified on December 9th at our Holiday Extravaganza with Venus Hum at the Mercy Lounge in Nashville.

One Grand Prize will consist of a Ms November 2006 Crown and Sash, an autographed CD, T-Shirt, and an autographed copy of the hand written lyrics to Ms. November.

You don't have to be present to win.
Good Luck!

Love,
The Bees (U.S.)"


and I normally would never ever think of doing something like this, but I really like The Bees. I prob won't even do it. But if I did, any suggestions? I really just like the loot you get if you win!

dreams are necessary to life.-anais nin

a dream...and you (Ariel) and you(Audrey)...were there. (Everyone laughs) But you couldn't have been, could you?

ah, the wizard of oz. mmm mmm good.

so my dream last night? so so strange.

we were in a helicopter. ariel was driving, and she was on the right side. we were (for some reason) driving along a road, trying to get to somewhere to take off, I guess. the road suddenly curved to the right, and we couldn't see it from ahead, and we went off the road and into the water. we fell and fell, and we fought to stay awake until we slowed down so we could get out. and then I woke up.

it was so scary and surreal.
and revealing.
I looked up helicopter, falling, drowning, driving. and, uh, yeah. freaky accurate.

whoa.

and I kind of want to tell you about my date last night, but I kinda don't. I had a very very excellent time. I guess that's all I'll say for now, other than something that I thought was funny. He's a bit older than me (five years older that carrie> his age> ten years older that carrie). And I made some joking comment about him being older, and he said something like I'll rob the cradle if you'll rock my chair. It made me laugh. And he taught me a new word. vicissitude.

thank the good Lord it's friday. I need some serious sleep. but first? mean girls, chicken parm (so excited!!!) and hearing a sure-to-be-rather-unfortunate tale of a jerk of a guy taking advantage of a girl, but hearing it over beer will make it so much better... :)

psycho killer qu’est que c’est

(bah da da dah, da da dah da da)

I have that stuck in my head. Because, well, I'm being careful, that's why. Gotta make sure semi-strangers aren't psycho killers, y'know?

G-Love was AWESOME last night. Had a really good time. Took the smallest purse in the universe (as far as I'm concerned) and it was quite refreshing! it's this cute little wristlet thing from wet seal that's black and white polka dotted. tres cute.

anyhoo. It was really cool to see everyone rock out when he played Baby's Got Sauce. Good good stuff. Except for the guy who pushed in front of me on the balcony, and then when he wanted to go get another beer basically grabbed my ass while pushing me out of the way. Crazy stuff.

a lot of the people we went with were friends of Coach Dreamy, and we briefly discussed the disaster that was the date. his friends were all like, "yeah, the girls always like him, but he's just so not suave." I'm glad I broke the ice about that. And in the spring I think I'm going to play kickball!!!

so, things I learned last night.
1. it is possible to get a hurty stomach simply from inhaling second-hand smoke.
2. i succumb to peer pressure sometimes. (I had a cigarette! ew ew ew!)
3. drunk people are handsy.
4. if you are going to a concert, expect to see a lot of people who, along with the rest of their clothes, have left their dignity in the car. friends don't let friends wear outfits like that.
5. betsy is brilliant. I should go with her to places at all times. when, early in the evening, she went to the restroom, she noticed that the toilet paper supply was quite low. so she snagged some squares, stuffed them in her purse and doled them out to the girls in our group as needed. i, for one, was thankful.

I also went to choir, and it was GREAT! I was super nervous, 'cause of my voice getting a little lower, and my long time of not singing, and how super-dee-duper awesome being a part of the Trinity choir with Janet leading (and sitting next to renee, and having jacob/philip/annette/debby/bob/everyone to sing with!) was. But it went really well. I did a lot better at sight-reading than I had anticipated, and I don't think I'll have trouble coming up to speed on the songs. It makes me miss having a piano though. Maybe I'll buy a keyboard. hmm. It was also neat 'cause one of the ladies, (Martha?) asked me if I'd helped the girl scouts two weeks ago--apparently her daughter is in that troop! Cool, huh?

my allergies strike back

('xcuse the nerdy title)

So, let me get this straight: amongst various enviromental factors, soaps, perfumes and other substances and flora (and thankfully no fauca), including hickory and sycamore trees, I am allergic to wool. And cashmere. And angora. And polyester. And lots of other factors. And my allergy, by itself, is harming the environment. Huh.

Like, oh, let's say, 90% of my wardrobe is all cotton, maybe with a smidge of spandex or nylon. Maybe. I have some dresses that aren’t cotton, and a few wool sweaters, but even wearing those is a process, as my skin can’t actually touch the non-cotton fabric, or I itch. At least it’s mild. But yeesh.

oooh--and something exciting….see this pretty website here? I’m going to get business cards!!! yaaaaaay, brooke! [insert herky here?] I am super-dee-duper excited. Then I will give them away at my leisure (instead of writing everything on the back of my work business cards) and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be famous some day! ;) I am tres thrilled at this. And uber gleeful. And yay!

Eh. Time for plating o’ the tube-age. Yick. (why did I have to like bubbles so much? why, WHY???)

Oh, and while investigating my phone issues with the help of the cute guys at the cingular store, I found out about this—the cocktail neckware collection. Very cool. They show the molecular patterns of alcoholic beverages as seen under the microscope. The guy, Beniamino, had one called Amaretto Sour. Quite neato, really. and omg I'm a terrible terrible nerd. I'm thrilled by how something looks under a microscope! I feel more nerdy every day!

so now I'll go be one officially...and enter the lab-coat-wearing world of lab 154.

kisses and too-da-loos.

tonight: the g-love with the sauce of specialness. and jackie will be (successfully) baking a pie!!! updates tomorrow, I'm sure.

you know things are uneventful when...

you blog about your tape dispenser.

see him? well, he's like mine, but mine is opaque not translucent, and he's green. like lime green. and though his style name is "elvis," as coined by koziol, I call him tapey. this would be much more amusing if you've ever seen one of my cubes or offices. it's entirely appropriate for me to have a tape dispenser like this. :)

I am feeling like a crazy crazy traveller right now. I stay in town this weekend, go to Portland the next, LA the weekend after that, am home for two weeks and then go to Tulsa. And then in January or February I want to go to Dallas, and go to Alaska in the spring or summer, and I'll hopefully be going to Tulsa (and hopefully Albuquerque or Santa Fe?) in May, along with Tulsa again in June for Jessica's wedding. Plus, Mary Alise and I (and Ariel, and Betsy, and whoever else) are already discussing our next potential trip. Too much fun!!! I think I need a better suitcase. My samsonite is falling apart and my skyway luggage one has eight years of wear and tear--meaning it barely rolls properly now. Hmm.

anyhoo. this isn't interesting, huh? yeah. but my other options are talking about a) my mse class, b) grad school, c) guys or d) work. maybe on thursday I'll have something fun to share, since I'm going to see G-Love at the Lincoln Theatre!

math is a four-letter word.

ah, toothpaste for dinner makes me happy.

i am so sad.

I just got excited about a balance.  Like, you know how some people get excited when they find, say, a twenty in their pocket, or they discover that their project deadline has been delayed a week?  Yeah, well I just did that when I found out we have a balance in our lab.  How sad am I?

no, wait, where was that lion?!?

so, richmond? fun place.

well, we drove to richmond in the am, went through a police barricade to get to our hotel, checked in and headed for short pump. after some yummy sushi we hit the mall--we went shopping at h&m and urban outfitters and nordstroms, where we bought the cutest shoes! they're these retro looking bcbgirls shoes--mine in multi rust and mary alise's in grey and brown. they look like an old couch or sweater. so fun! and then there was the incredible home furnishings offered by west elm and crate and barrel. yowza!

I couldn't resist this stocking--it's the one on the right, and it looks more pink in person. Pink and Shiny? totally Carrie. ;)

I think I really like this couch. A little retro and a lot of fun...I'm not 100% on it yet, but it was comfy. And I'm so glad we went and sat on everything!!! I don't know about either of these colors, but I have more options too. i think I'm going to ask for samples.

so, then we got a manicure, had our hair washed and styled, and went to the macy's makeup counters to get our make-up done. she put an awful lot on, but it looked quite good! and it was nice to have hair with volume! at the hotel we changed and sucked down the champagne before heading to the tobacco company. we gave up waiting in line to go downstairs, and headed in.

we met some skeezy old guys, and I walked up and introduced myself to this very attractive guy who was there with his friends. (thanks mary alise for making me!) we had fun talking...and shooting kamikazes that were the size of a juice glass--yikes! a few too many drinks later we wandered around, heels making us almost fall over on the cobblestone. buuuuttt...we met some men in uniform! :)

there were lots and lots of marines out there--guess they'd had a ball or something.

and then the cop who apparently was a marine first. they talked about it a little. this cop looks frightened! or like a deer in headlights.

after an excursion to the hospitality suite of some guys whose company had brought them there from washington state, we finally went to bed. at some time after 4am. needless to say the ride home was a miserable one. but, we got breakfast in our room, and sat in bed recounting the night. We'd forgotten about most of the pictures, and when I pulled up the more recent one-with the lion, we could not remember for the life of us where it was! We know it's on Cary Street inbetween the Tobacco Company and Sine, but that's all she wrote...

our breakfast. yum! despite the headache. also, I believe that the amount of cologne worn by the skeezy old men in that bar made my nose very angry. :(

I'm glad to be home, not in the car and spending time with my kitties, but I can't wait for our next trip!

so, it might not be completely accurate...

but it was a nice thing to hear.

tonight at dinner someone said---ooh! I know! I figured out who you remind me of, it's been driving me crazy all night.

and the person? lauren ambrose in six feet under: claire.


it took talking about photography and art to really make him say that, but apparently even my mannerisms make him think of her. He said that I have the same kind of edgy confidence--I think I like that. :)

and? weird. I keep getting compared to people with red hair (claire danes as angela chase, julianne moore, lauren ambrose...). huh. I mean, I get my fair share of blondes and brunettes too (calista flockheart, ellen pompeo) but still. it's the red-headed ones that always are the most flattering.

anyhoo. I should be in bed in prep for my fun tomorrow!!!

spiderman3

check out the trailer here!

meeting every day with the rising sun looking up it's looking like my losing streak is done

My losing streak is done

I said my losing streak is done
Did you hear me
I said my losing streak is done

well. have you heard of the eels? good stuff. good good stuff. and that's what I've decided. my losing streak is done. and I'm really happy about that. watch out world, here comes Carrie. ;)

so, anyhoo. my chair came in yesterday, and it's beautissimos. It isn't blue, and it isn't green. It's more of a pale blue/sea green color. love-lee. I am so buying another one. Or the ottoman. Is it comfy? yes. Is it incredibly comfy? no. It's a tinge high off the ground. However, it is big and roomy and perfect for sitting indian style/tailor fashion/criss-cross applesauce. Which is perfect for TV watching and studying. Now, only to decide. A second chair or the ottoman? I'm kind of leaning towards the chair. Chairs work well in pairs.

and tomorrow I embark on the journey of a lifetime. or, um, a trip to richmond. i. am. stoked. yippee!


I saw this on my way to my car today and had to take some pictures. I LOVE THE FALL!

"set phasers to stun and tell him you're not interested."

and that's why I love Sterling Gates.

hugs and kisses, BFF. thanks for making me laugh. often and much. I hope you and Computron/BlackBook/Dr. MacEvil live a long and happy, nerd-free life together.

sixtieth

my grandparents don't read this--heck, my granny even REFUSES to use or own a computer--but I'm really amazed by them today. because it is their sixtieth wedding anniversary. their diamond anniversary. one of those few years where the "traditional" and "modern" gifts match.

sixty years is a long, long time. sixty years with three children, six grandchildren, two great grandchildren (so far!), ten or more family weddings (eight where my grandfather walked the bride down the aisle), many houses, at least four cities, a couple of churches, many bible studies, multiple surgeries and joint replacements, four dogs that I know of, and they're still going strong.

some would say it's just for show. they're OLD now. and they often don't get along. but it's sweet too because I see that there are still parts of them that love each other very much.

so this is them, from when I visited in May.

and here's what my family and I sent them (adam, you too!). well, this or something like it.



and I've been thinking recently (and as a divorced woman I think I can say this. well, you could say it if you weren't too. but I feel like maybe I have a little bit more perspective on the matter) about marriage. and what's wrong with it today. and high profile couples who split, and that 50% divorce rate, and wow. it makes me really sad. People do grow apart, or aren't who they seem, and I get that. I really get that. But it makes me sad that it is what it is. I'd say it's the pressure to marry--but when hasn't that existed? And the smugmarrieds who say divorce is lame are right, but they're wrong at the same time. (and asses for judging, but moving on...) I'm really sincerely hoping that this divorce rate goes down. And that people are taught more about what really makes two human beings compatible, and how to fight fair and how not to cheat. I wish that people as a whole were more honest, had more integrity, and placed more value on love than money.

because I think the beatles were onto something...because at the end of the day, married or single or in-between, gay or straight or bi, happy or sad or lukewarm, smart or stupid or average, black or white or red, love is all you need.

they're going to think we're lesbians.

well, they are...I mean, maybe.

'tis hump day.
and last of fall LOST day.
and day carrie got back her last test. (booooo. but I passed! I want to know the class average, dangit.)

I'm also spending today uber annoyed at Cingular for my phone having not yet arrived. Stupid razr that stupid broke.

at least this weekend will be fun fun fun. couch shopping and h&m and maybe even ikea! mary alise and I kind of think they're gonna thing we're together though--because we booked the "rendevous for two" room with a bottle of champagne. There was a cheaper option, but for $10 we chose champagne over chocolate. get ready for a whirlwind of pictures, I bet!

so, uh, interesting news today. the democratic house. the by-one-seat-right-now senate. rumsfeld's resignation. spederline dissolving (and they're calling him FedEx-ha!). and word on the street is they bleeped the president 'cause he said something that's a no-no.

hmm.

I'm excited tho that we're maybe gonna have our very first madam speaker...

okay, nothing else interesting. things aren't exciting on the carrie-front. just busy... and excited that my chair should arrive at my apt tomorrow...anyhoo.

october 23rd.

huh.

so, Anna's (my twin sister's, if you didn't know) friend Cat commented on her myspace that Benson said that October 23rd was the day the Universe was created. How did I miss that?!? Anyhoo. But look. See the very first event in the list? Interesting. hmm.

raindrops. so many raindrops.

it feel like raindrops...falling from my eyes.

why do I have a david cassidy song in my head people? why?? WHY?!?

for two reasons:
a) it is rainy and cold outside and I wish I were still in bed, especially since I worked for nine and half hours yesterday and then watched Heroes (so good!) and went to bed.
b) I am allergic to something. What, I don't know. But I've had three people ask me "if I'm okay" because I look like I am crying. I've made tear spots on my new pink pillowcases. Because my dad-gum eyes are all weepy and runny from something in the golly-gee-whilikers air. tres annoying.

but this song won't go away. and neither will the cold and yucky rain. or the allergies. grr.

you won’t be single for long

vodka cream pasta.

That’s what the Jessica-dubbed-Coach-Dreamy made me for dinner on Saturday. It was pretty yummy, but maybe needs a little more oomph. Very good job though, especially for a guy who admitted that he’d never even purchased chicken broth before! We had salad and chicken and bread as well—LOTS of options about the way to put things together (chicken with sauce, pasta and chicken with sauce, dressing options, etc.) I could make this into a much funnier story, and tell you about the way he hid the cookbook, but I don't wanna be mean.

The date was okay, but I think everyone who I’ve told is right—him cooking me dinner on the first date was an awful lot of pressure. It’s hard to be just getting to know someone and spent four and a half hours talking to only them with no external stimuli. Also, he is not so keen on cats, and that could be a problem. I actually made a (very bad) joke about him being a scaredy cat. [insert groan here] I just couldn’t resist!!!

All in all? A little disappointing, but I would prolly go on another date with him if he asked, just because we had such a good time at the Halloween party. And maybe we can go play pool or darts or something—an activity. With beer. The guy is more fun if he's drinking. anyhoo...

Immediately after my date I called Sterling (who is worried about adrienne) and then Jessica and Mark. I talked to Mark through two glasses of wine and until 2am. :) Anyhoo, while discussing how to proceed, Jess said something really funny: maybe he was just nervous, or maybe he needs to be trained. Except, this isn't "flip this house" and you're not "bob vila." ha!

Also, I’m curious…so, I’ve noticed that some guys here open the doors for girls, and some guys don’t. Of course it could just be nervousness if it’s a date sitch—making them open or not open. But I even notice it at work—the Asian men here actually are so genteel that they remove boxes from my hands and carry things for me if they see me straining even the slightest bit. (sidenote: sometimes I resent people calling things “men’s work,” but if it means I don’t have to lift heavy objects I’m all about it!) Are female engineers so intimidating that they actually cause guys to be afraid of opening their door? Hmm.

Right now I am still at work. It’s approaching 7pm. This lab moving stuff is RIDICULOUS. Eh, at least I’ll be able to leave earlier on Friday…but I soooo cannot believe It’s. Only. Monday.

Ooh, and I bought that chair I showed y’all. Very cheap and very cute! Let’s hope when it arrives it’s also comfy. But for the price and the cuteness and the practicality, I couldn’t pass it up! And if it’s not supercomfy that’s okay, I’ll be studying in it or watching TV anyhow, since it will be in my room.

And I luuuuurrrrve the set of chopsticks I bought for $4 at Ross Dress for Less—ten pairs and each pair is a different color! What am I going to do with these you ask? Have a good excuse to eat more sushi, that’s what! And they’re pretty! I’ll find them online or add a picture later—too cute! And shopping at Ross/TJ Maxx/Marshall’s is always so fun ‘cause it’s so inexpensive! Yay.

Eh. Time for more rinsing.

Ooh, and there are new photos on my photo blog—check ‘em out!

you are special.

one of my favorite people in the world gave me this book for my birthday five years ago. and I love it.
last night, after moving my bookcases and books upstairs, while re-arranging my books, I found it again. and so after brushing my teeth and putting on my face medicine and giving gobi his heart meds I cuddled into my newly-outfitted bed and read it.

and as usual, it made me happy cry. it is wonderful, and I love it, and I think every one of you needs to read it, or read it to your children some day. it's simple but profound. and I hope to be more like the Wemmick Lucia, and less like the other Wemmicks.

I am so glad she gave me this. :)

i wanna hold your hand...

that’s what Gobi says. The past few nights, when he’s not trying to sloooooly inch his way onto my pillow, he reaches out one of his front paws and puts it on my finger--kinda like how he's sitting in the bottom picture. Sometimes he even puts out his claws and wraps them around my finger like he's actually holding it!

And, this morning he laid on my tummy, which he never ever ever does. AND he held my finger. It's so cute! He likes to be close to me, but prefers to not snuggle, generally, unless it’s with my head, so this was a rare treat. He usually just snuggles with Hazel.

aw.

And Hazel? She’s now following me EVERYWHERE. It’s like I have a shadow that climbs onto every surface I’d prefer she not.

Ooh, and other fun things.

~my new bedding came in (duvet and pillowcases) as did my pink sheets. So cute! Used ‘em last night.
~I have a date tomorrow night with the hot guy who Jessica has dubbed “Coach Dreamy”. :) He's either taking me to dinner or cooking me dinner. Not sure which still--he called last night but I returned his call too late.
~with some help I moved a bunch of furniture upstairs. my new room pleases me greatly.
~I have some people who are interested in renting the room downstairs—two different guys and a girl—girl gets first priority!
~I think I’ll also have a date with the other guy, the one who is geeky cute. We just haven’t had our schedules work out—but this one may only get one date, ‘cause he’s terribly indecisive. And if I’m calling someone too indecisive, you know it must be bad.
~I think I want to buy this chair for my bedroom. Anyone ever bought furniture from overstock? The sheets I have from there are nice.

~it is Friday!!!
~tonight I am cleaning, vegging out and watching Grey’s Anatomy from last night. Seriously. And I love having a dvr. Love it.

come on, I'll let you borrow my four leaf clover, come on, take it with you you can pass it on...

~badly drawn boy.

I have found so many of these that I forget where I put 'em. they're usually in my copy of the secret garden, but I think that might still be in Tulsa. anyhoo.

Last night I was giving my room and closet a thorough cleaning--going through drawers and putting up clothes that were still in laundry baskets, throwing away things, etc. (PS, anybody want some cute size 1 or 2 clothes? I cannot BELIEVE I could wear those in college and after I moved here. Did I not eat?!? Or was I just uncomfy all the time because my pants were too tight and I was in size denial? hmm...) So back to the story.

I look in the top drawer of my dresser and I find a little jewelry box--with these guys in 'em.

I'd pressed them in a book, but I'd never gotten around to taping them up (so they'll stay nice). I find SO MANY four-leaf clovers--and notice that one of 'em has five! I once found one with seven leaves--it was pretty cool, especially since you could see that it was really a four-leaf clover and a three-leaf clover that had conjoined stalks. Very neat.

But kind of weird because I'm not even sure that I really believe in luck. I believe more in fortune (see def 2) than I do luck. Maybe because I've found a bazillion of these little guys, and yet I don't know that I'm "lucky." "Fortunate," perhaps, but not lucky. Or maybe I just shouldn't believe in luck as it pertains to four-leaf clovers. hmm, hmm. After all, my eyeballs just recognize an abnormality in the pattern of the clover patch, right? I mean, sometimes I'll just walk by, they'll catch my eye, and I'll have found one.

anyhoo. [again]

you should ask sterling about the story (or was it a dream?) that he had about my finding a four-leaf clover and healing a snake bite with it or something like that. ah, being fourteen. ha!

ri-damn-diculous

so, yesterday I posted an apartment-mate ad on my work site, and today I finalized the one for craig's list. and you know what's crazy?

Fair Housing Laws.

Now, I know why these things exist. I totally understand that discrimination could be an issue and everyone has equal rights...but what's this crap about someone being able to SUE me for saying that I'd prefer to rent the room to someone with no kids, or who is in school, or who is young, or who is a female? huh?

what's the problem with this? and am I breaking the law by telling these people "no" if they call and ask about it? grr.

double grr even.

this is ridiculous in the same way that "do not iron clothes on body" labels are ridiculous.

ps--ooh, but wait. I just read that since we'll have shared space I am allowed to say "female." yee-haw.