Monday, November 28, 2005

a hokey hoax?

or, maybe not.
how weird.

and "you see what you wanna see, and hear what you wanna hear." -the point.

te amo

mmm mmm mmm i love cigars.
thanks, kind birthday gift giver.

the core of a whelk

i found this on the beach.

it's pretty cool, i think. it will look neat next to my other shells. and i like the weathered wood backdrop.

these "real" southerners may get funny looks for spending traditionally cold holidays at the beach, but my it's lovely.

*and PS, a real southerner is one who thinks that Oklahoma is part of the midwest, and who thinks that tea should always be served sweetened.

nags head daisies

or indian blankets, whichever you please. Otto's grandmother Maggie just loves them. They're all over Nags Head, and they're so cheery.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


i cannot believe I saw this...

on thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

you've got to be joking.

First of all, I believe I may be much less patient than I thought. I can wait, what, fifty nine weeks? for a important but rigmarole-requiring piece of paper, but I can't handle the time it takes to load this when I search for a protein--and PS, what do proteins have to do with thermodynamics, anyway? My homework is damn frustrating right now, and while that's really okay, it's also slightly bothersome since I can do everything correctly except save what I've done. It's making me crazy.

I am also having trouble waiting for my cranberry salsa to cool. It goes with tomorrow's dinner. I'm enjoying cooking winter foods (I made cashew chicken and fried rice tonight--thanks again Sterling for asking if I can make fried rice and making me want to have a good recipe for it). Did you know that fresh cranberries pop when you cook them? Well, they do. Just FYI.

And in addition to being impatient, I'm also amazed that I seem to be a magnet for this. I guess it hasn't quite reached that point, but it's certainly on the verge. Today, a guy a work who's 30ish and another ChE made me very uncomfy. Our past exchanges have all been perfunctory politeness or work related or at the one time I went out to lunch with him and one other person. I once asked him why he's always walking so fast (damn near sprinting right through my work area) and I asked him if this tool I had just used was called channel locks (which, indeed, it was--though he very much made fun of me for not knowing afterwards, and would tell me that I was using teflon tape or a wrench or pliers when he walked by for the rest of the day). The other day I heard someone say something about how this guy had dressed up for work, and when I saw him pass by I said, "so, you're dressed up." He said, "no I'm just not wearing jeans." But then five minutes later when he walked by my office again he stopped in my doorway and said "since it will be a long time before I wear this again--ta-da!" That was the beginning of the weirdness. But still, nothing that couldn't be explained away easily.

Today was different. So, I'm working on a tube in the lab, wearing my goggles, long sleeves and gloves, and he's walking behind me and rubbing his hands together like people do when they're cold. I say, "Ya cold?" He says nothing, turns around, walks towards me, moves my hair away from the back of my neck and puts the top of his hand on my neck. He says, "my hands are always cold, see." It was weird. If it had been the top of my hand, or my arm below my elbow, that would have been one thing. But my neck? Necks are no-no's at work. Arms below the elbow are kind of okay--necks aren't okay to touch unless you're, I don't know, plugging an artery or if that's the only place you can grab someone who's falling off a ladder or something--that's it. Anyway, I'm going to try to mention Otto in conversation a lot, and if he does anything else I'm going to have to call him on it. But seriously, this isn't looking good for men in the workplace. I was totally harassed by boss #1 of 3 at my old job (he got handsy and was a control freak/micro-manager to boot) and now and real job #2 someone else is making me uncomfy. Am I sending weird signals? Should I stop being nice to people? Sterling suggested that maybe I should stop brushing my teeth--and I think eating a huge amount of garlic might do the trick. But really, this is annoying. I'm not even wearing cute clothes here--I wear jeans and shirts. Not even cute shirts. Just modest ones and sometimes a sweat shirt or a fleece. So it's not my clothes, it's not that I'm a huge flirt. I mean, I'm a flirt, sure, but not at work. That's a big no-no, unless you're absolutely sure both parties are okay with it.


also, anybody know a Raleigh-Durham area pet sitter? I want to be gone for 3 of the days this long weekend, but Gobi and Hazel need to eat, and I don't want to risk them eating all their food and being hungry.

i bet the cranberry is cool now. night night.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman

Iron Man




Green Lantern

The Flash





You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Friday, November 18, 2005

be kind to me, or treat me mean...

I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine.
-Fiona Apple.

Her new album is very nice, I like it. Fiona Apple always makes me think of my freshman year linguistics class (when Meredith, the girl who lived down the hall from me, and I talked to the guy (whose name I've forgotten) who had these very intense eyes, and we'd sit next to each other in class and sing paper bag because we both liked it so much). It also makes me think of singing Paper Bag in New York with Renee. Anyhow, I listened to it on the way to my test yesterday. It went okay. I did, in fact cry in it. Because (silly me!) I couldn't remember how to convert a mass fraction into a volume fraction. I'm still not positive I did it right. It was a very random test. Anyway, when I asked about it, the TA, who is usually very very nice, looked at me like I was insane. Which, coincidentally, I'm not. But after looking for fifteen precious minutes I said that I thought it sucked that I was supposed to remember freshman chemistry (even if it was the easy stuff) and things like the chain rule from calc without even a little bit of a refresher/reminder. That was like six years ago, people!

We'll see how it turns out.

The newest Potter movie is out. I'm not seeing it yet though. Otto and I had the brilliant idea to watch all the old ones before seeing the next ones, and we are kind of busy this weekend. Plus, we're only on movie two. So we'll see.

Also, is it cold where you are? It seems like everyone left their freezer doors open in NC and now it's COLD and I'm in need-to-wear-a-jacket denial. :)

stay warm and drink some hot chocolate, k?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

decisions with deadlines

so, NCState begins late registration next Tuesday. translate:I owe money immediately if i register late, instead of being billed. it doesn't matter too too much, but since I get paid at the end of the month it's kind of important.

yesterday I went to the doctor and we talked about my migraines. i know that stress is the trigger. maybe lack of sleep, too, but definitely stress.

so what sources of stress do I have?
work-not really (and it's MUCH better than before, anyhow)
love life-totally un-stressful
social stuff-again, no stress, for the most part
friendships-a few stressful ones currently, but for the most part supportive and kind
money-a bit of a stress, but manageable and planned out
umm...ummm....any others?
oh, yeah, finding four to eight to even twelve hours a week to do thermo.

if I take a class next semester it will be biochemical engineering. it will bring school stress along with i'm out $612 plus books stress. i'm really thinking about going to school full time in the fall--and possibly/likely not in NC--so i'm not even sure I should take a class this spring. but, then again, it looks like BCE will be a little less homework-intense than thermo, since there won't be one due every week or so, it's more like two or three per semester.

should i take the semester off, study for the GRE, relax, earn extra mulah by writing math and science questions for standardized test, take the GRE and ace it, apply for scholarships and schools, brush up on calculus and have time to travel, paint and read or should I try to muddle through while still making time to do the above AND work 40 hours a week AND take a class? I'm sure it seems like a no-brainer, but I also have to consider that 1)I may end up going to NC state, so that's one more class done, 2)potential schools other than NC State may not let me transfer credits, 3)I'm not even certain that I want to do chemical engineering (maybe metallury, environmental engineering, materials science?) and 4)If I don't take a class next semester work will and won't like it--they won't like it because I didn't go, but they will like it because I'll be more regular in my hours.

what to do, what to do?

I so wish I had gone straight to grad school. I'm very glad about how things have turned out, all in all, but it frustrates me that going to grad school is now such a challenge, and it would have been a piece of cake if I'd done it right after undergrad. But it is what it is.

and I also have to decide on PhD vs Masters. Do I finish when I'm 27/28 or when I'm 30ish? sigh.

not asleep.

nope, I'm awake. have been for about forty five minutes now. waking up to go to the bathroom since you're drinking water like you're a camel storing up for a desert trip, and then not falling back to sleep because you sneeze or have to blow your nose every three minutes will do that to you. but at least i can breathe through both nostrils right now.

thank goodness for AOL-IM though. kept me entertained for some of this sleeplessness. that and the kitties, who are THRILLED that I'm awake. i've been home all day, and i've given them lots of attention, but being up at 3 in the morning is apparently a special treat. it's cute though. hazel is enamored with the ties on my pajama pants. she also keeps trying to climb up onto my neck from the table because she wants to cuddle. c-u-t-e.

i need a good book to read. i'm reading LAMB, the gospel according to Jesus' childhood friend Biff, but it's too funny to read right before going to bed. i have a few books on the waiting list, but none of them are jumping out at me right now (but wouldn't that be scary!). perhaps something will appeal to me soon.

hope you enjoyed the middle-of-the-night post. i'm going to try to go to sleep again.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Did you all see this? Crazy, huh?

Also, I think I have a cold that's trying like hell to become a sinus infection. sigh. i'm still much much MUCH better than I was at this time last year....

jiggity jig

pictures, pictures. :)

Biltmore was fun. And huge. And who builds 100-bedroom houses for a two-person family? I know, a man whose mother won't let him date until she dies because she wants to be the only woman in his life--that's who.

I like having beer again. And sushi and pepperoni and onions and chocolate. Mmm chocolate. I've given up on the migraine diet. Food is not my trigger, and I'm certain of that.

Biltmore was fun and HUGE. It was neat to see all the rooms, and I was glad to see that they'd already come up with my idea for a money making gimick--selling biltmore Christmas trees--they just hadn't publicized it well. Also, the architect was way ahead of his time--this guy had an indoor swimming pool, the olden-day equivalent of central heating, and the pipes that we put in over a hundred years ago are still working and holding a pressure of 90 psi. Amazing.

Getting my hair cut was a huge debaucle. It took three hours. I like it now, but I didn't like the color when I came home. And my bangs aren't that big of a deal. They're more like a lot of wispy pieces. I think that next time I'll have her cut a little more of them. I just didn't want to go overboard when I didn't know if I'd like it. So here's the group (Dan, Cory, Otto and me) after our wine tasting (they have the most visited winery in the US there--by default since it's by a tourist-drawing home and the wine tasting is included in the admission price) which was a first for me.

And here we are on a bridge being all couple-ee. We went on a hike down to their bass pond and saw a man-made waterfall. The grounds were really pretty. They were designed by the same guy who designed central park. Wowee.

and now it's time to finish getting ready for work. mmm mondays.

Friday, November 11, 2005

exciting day, and some questions.

I'm excited because I bought flowers last night and put them all over the apartment. They're pretty. See?

I'm also excited because it's Friday and I'm only working a half day. Plus, after that I get to go have my hair cut (I'm getting bangs!) and run some errands, and after some straightening up Otto and I are having sushi with Dan and Cory who are coming in from Richmond.

Then tomorrow we're going here. It should be very fun. And we might have dinner here. Look at all those beers on tap! Dan and Cory are also bringing me my chair from Ikea because it was waaay too big to fit in my Mazda3.

So, on to the questions.
1. Isn't it strange that not only can my cats open the door, but also they wait to do so until the morning right around when my alarm goes off?
2. Is it wrong to try to sell my wedding dress to pay for my tuition? (note:since I'm divorced, this isn't going to be something I want to keep, I'm just not sure about selling it.)
3. If someone is already in the two-stall bathroom, and they're your boss, and they want to talk to you, is it acceptable for them to sit there and wait until you've done your business, and then leave the stall when you're washing your hands so that they can talk to you?

because my boss totally did #3, wanting to ask if I'd read her email about how our overhead budget has been cut, and it's not a mandatory course for my job (even though it's mentioned in the policy that it just has to be job related) and blah blah blah. Things aren't going so well at my new job. As I told her, I like the people and I enjoy the work, but the administrative stuff is terrible, and I'm extremely disappointed with how things have been handled.

enjoy your friday.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

if houdini were a kitty...

he might be one of mine.

I'm pretty amazed. Last night when I was finally less angry and ready to go to sleep Hazel wanted to play, and kept attacking my feetarmshandsheadhairsideslegstorso. So I put her and Gobi outside the door and shut it. I made doubly sure that the latch had caught since the got in the night before when I had to shut them out at 5am. Anyway, what happened this morning about 25 minutes before I was supposed to wake up? That's right, Hazel did. Jumped up on the bed and began full on cuddling. I am impressed.

I kind of want to do an experiment (I'm a huge nerd, I know). I want to leave one out one night, and the other out the other, and see who gets in. I know that Gobi knows that door handles open doors, but how's they figure what to do? Also, this door pulls out from that direction, it doesn't push in.


also:newest freaky dream--one about a roller coaster that was really sending you traveling through time for three minutes at a time. Creepy.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

lies, all lies.

my new job will not pay for my grad school next semester. It's $612 stinkin' dollars. $612 is a big deal to me, but I highly doubt it's a big deal to at 2300 employee company who offers this as a benefit. In any case I'd be buying the book on my own, and I'd even be paying up front. but it's not in the budget. even though they made it very clear in the beginning that this was something they did, and did regularly.

oh, yeah, and our budget's still in the process of being approved.

also, my boss "had no idea" that I was going to ask to be reimbursed.

Please tell me--if you had a job, one that put "masters preferable" on the job description, and who would pay for your tuition WITHOUT requiring a certain time of service from you in return, wouldn't you take it? Can you think of someone who wouldn't?


I. Am. Fed. Up.


and I want to be able to eat chocolate again so I can have some chocolate milk.

Friday, November 04, 2005

i want bangs

I'm thinking about getting them. My hair needs SOMETHING different, I just don't know what?

Also, I don't understand facebook. Apparently my little bro has put up a few pictures with me in them--including one of the siblings and one of renee, jess and me from the staten island ferry. I hoped I'd get to check them out, but alas, the brilliance of facebook has outsmarted me yet again.

And what is it with kitties and washers/dryers? Why do they like to climb behind them? They don't go behind the entertainment center or under the couch or anything, but they want to be on the washer/dryer. Maybe it's because I keep the door closed. Actually, that makes a lot of sense, considering that I'm doing the same thing. How often do I want chocolate? Not very. But I tried to buy an Oreo Mint milkshake, Cocoa Krispies and Peanut M&Ms. Plus, Otto tried to buy me sushi for dinner as a treat, and I can't have sushi. He's been out of town since Monday AM (before I started this migraine diet/experiment/process-of-elimination) and we didn't get to talk all that much, so I only mentioned it briefly. So he forgot that I can't have avocado or soy sauce, amongst other things.

So instead my "diet" sent me to get a burger, fries and a strawberry milkshake. Instead of sushi and a fresca. And I've been having pasta all week. Carbs and fatty foods. Under medical advice.

here's the painting I did a few nights ago, and here's the picture that inspired it.

also, TODAY IS FRIDAY! thank goodness!

Thursday, November 03, 2005


go to google.

type in the word failure--no quotes or anything

hit I'm feeling lucky

laugh (or be upset--it's funny either way!!!)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

i agree with jonathan

so, I talked to Sterling today, and he repeated something that jonathan had said to him, and I agree. "I'm sorry, but..." is quite possibly the worst phrase in the english language. or at least, that's what he thought at the time, maybe there's an even worse one, but that one's kinda miserable. jonathan does have a way of putting things. he's quite adept at it actually.

does anyone ever have dreams where some part of your subconscious has thought ahead in the plot, or comes up with a huge twist mid-dream, or something like that? mine has been, and it's rather disconcerting sometimes.

today was a much better day than I'd been having recently--I bought daisies and i painted AGAIN!!! Sterling wants me to try drawing more, but I just can't always think of what I should draw. I want to draw flowers and the sky, and that's all. I'm trying to branch out though.

also, if you can avoid it, don't go on the migraine diet. I'm quite sure that real trying-to-lose-weight diets are worse, but not having all of these foods is no fun. No beer-chocolate-pepperoni-aged cheese-sour cream-onions-yeast-liver-salami-raspberries-bacon-avocados-msg-soy sauce-deli meats refrigerated over twenty-four hours-bananas-red wine and only 1/2 cup of yogurt or citrus fruit per day is not so fun. I can't even marinate meat for over 24 hours (not that I usually plan that far ahead, but still).

hooray for tomorrow being wednesday.
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