Thursday, May 27, 2010

hey, I want one of those.

er. sometimes...

people keep asking Matt and me if being married is different. or what it's like being married. and I'm-a-gonna let you in on a little secret: it's really not that different. Matt still takes out the trash. I still do all of the grocery shopping and 90% of the cooking. We still sit in the same places on the couch, we're still watching Smallville (but we're almost caught up for REAL!) and we still sometimes get in dumb fights, such as, for instance, a brief spat because he was talking during the end of a show (it was IMPORTANT!) and I started talking and explaining to him that he was talking during the important part, and he got annoyed that *I* was talking, and then we both laughed.

right. you know those kinds.

anyway, so, there are a handful of ways where things are different. see: last post. (ps: thank you for making me feel like it's normal to feel this way, thank you for giving me different perspectives and thank you for showing me I could be more extreme if I wanted--glad to have support AND options!) additionally, we now have joint checking (which always makes me think of the scene in Sweet Home Alabama where they're in his kitchen and he is drinking a beer and it looks like his eyes are going to bug out of his head). and we call each other husband and wife. and we also can talk about babies.

and sometimes, I think "hey, I want one of those. like, NOW."

this week is one of those weeks.

but, thank goodness, Matt and I have a plan. said plan is: go to italy next summer. wait until after that to get pregnant or have a baby. no sense in going there if I can't enjoy the wine or eat half of the food, right?

see? a plan. a solid plan. a GOOD plan. but nonetheless, a plan that does not keep me from sometimes tacking on a "like, NOW" to that whole "wanting one of those" thing.

in the meantime, I will just love on as many of my friend's babies (and toddlers and kiddos) as I can. and this year, if all goes as planned, I will still have many, many opportunities to love on them. there's jude and luke, who I see regularly, and more kiddos I see occasionally, and many little ones on the way. and I am an AUNT now (to two cute little girlies AND there are two more little babies on the way--kind of special that they'll be the first I'll be an aunt to their whole life long!), so that helps! so I hope seeing the tykes and giving them cuddles and kisses will simultaneously serve as birth control for now AND also make me even more excited about our future plans. birth control because it will tide me over, mind you--not in the way that babies have no shame in sharing their bodily fluids with you and cry and all. :)

oh yeah, and ps: our babies are gonna have Fry for a last name. period. end of statement. in addition to this being Matt's sole request (slash deal-breaker) I think it just makes a hell of a lot more sense for us. Especially since (and this is a long story) my last name isn't actually supposed to be my last name, genealogically-speaking. And it's freaking LONG.

Also, the last name Fry will go well with his planned middle names, "Deep," "Stir" and "French." Oh, and "Joseph." :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

more organization...this time of the artistic kind...

have you noticed a theme recently? one of organization and sorting and cleaning out? it's a slow process, but we are getting there...

saturday I painted a bird for my friend kara. I have a picture of it, but it's on my other camera. anyway, painting it made me want to paint two more, which I have put up for sale on my etsy, here and here. while I was getting things out I also found some paintings that I had nearly finished before I moved, and that I never managed to complete. so I got those out too.

getting out all my paints and brushes and rummaging for some canvases made me kind of frustrated--y'see, I had two little boxes FULL of paint, and I'd have to DIG to find anything.

so on sunday evening, after the second party I attended that day, we went to target and found this gem. seven 12x12 drawers, each of which is also its own carrying case!

when we got home I sorted out all of my paints into what just happened to be seven piles. and now they are neatly organized by color in the bin!

and here are some of the pretty things I've painted (or finished painting) recently. :) it has been nearly two years since I last broke out my brushes, and it's been a nice change of pace!

Monday, May 24, 2010

this is so unfair.

okay, maybe not unfair. perhaps unrealistic. or inconsiderate. or freaking ridiculous.

today I need to remember:
I am lucky to have a job. A job that pays well.
I am fortunate to have just received a promotion.
And more fortunate still to have gotten a raise.
My boss is nice, my co-workers are friendly, and I have an office with a door.


my lead wanted my PTO schedule for the summer. fine, fine. whatever. I gave it to her. And then I said to the project leader that I hadn't included times I planned on being out of town over the weekend. because it's THE FREAKIN' WEEKEND BABY (I'm about to have me some fun--thanks R. Kelly).

e.g., when I am out of town for a wedding. or when I go to visit Renee in July. or if I just want to not turn on my work computer on my days off.

but then my project lead told me to ask. to offer. because GUESS WHAT? I am, apparently, supposed to be working over the weekends between June 11th and July 31st.

all I have to say is: it's a damn good thing they just started paying me better, because I am already frustrated about this. I've already done the whole 7-day work week thing, and it ain't pretty. and if they even start to suggest that I do work on my honeymoon, well, I might just blow a gasket. yeesh.

i have issues with being a mrs.

to be fair, I had the same issues with being a "miss." except this time it's kind of hurting Matt's feelings.

for the record, I find nothing wrong with someone else being a Mrs or choosing to go by Mrs. To each her own! But I do take issue with our standard/default "titles." I think there's something terribly ridiculous about how a man gets to be Mr. regardless of marital status, whereas most women are referred to as Miss until they get married, and then become a Mrs. Couple that with the shockingly low use of the word "Ms." and I am just appalled.

For YEARS now I have politely requested that my name be listed as Ms. on all wedding invitations. I am not the same as a 5 year old girl, thankyouverymuch. And I can tell this is carrying over now.

(I must say, I probably also find it upsetting because the marital status boxes on medical forms say single, married, divorced or widowed, and I had been instructed multiple times that even though that was YEARS ago I still need to put divorced. It might've been my doctor's business immediately ex-post-facto, but really, until a month and a week ago, that was medically relevant? seriously? YUCK.)

So, anyway...I am trying to find a way to be okay with being called "Mrs." I did not correct any 8th graders at the dance on Friday. And actually, I didn't even correct any adults that day--but I *did* let them know that I would actually be R*ch@rdson F*y not just F*y. I think that hurt Matt's feelings a little, too.

I guess...I guess it's probably an identity thing. And a newness thing. And a NOYB thing.

I mean, I am okay with being called "wife." I actually liked having Matt introduce me as "my wife, Carrie." And I'm okay with being referred to as Mr & Mrs F*y, but I am not okay with Mrs Matt F*y or Mrs F*y. It's weird, I know. But I am having problems with it!

has anyone else had these thoughts go through their head? a little help, please?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


my re-organized kitchen cabinets. this place was a DISASTER before, and I could never find my plastic containers and it was making me crazy.

so on sunday I got to it and made things better :) I am getting rid of a set of nesting bowls and two sets of casserole dishes. I have NO idea how all of that accumulated in there, but I am relieved for it to vamoose!

I love having easy access to the plastic containers. and to our new glass containers, too! yay for wedding presents (and thank you Karen!) I also love that it's not a balancing game to get out a dish or cutting board. Yay!

when I was in college...

I had a bit of a revelation. I came to the realization that though I didn't know my "ultimate purpose" (and believe you me, I still don't) that one of the things I was supposed to do in life was bring others joy.

to be really honest, it's actually why I tend to compliment strangers. and why I like to give people praise. it's not fake or forced. it's just that instead of merely thinking those things, I like to make sure to SAY them, even if it is a little awkward or completely random.

so, a few weeks ago, when Matt and I went to see WICKED, we went to a bar afterwards. and saw that a few members of the cast was there--the wizard, Dr. Dillamond, Fiyero and a few others. They were out of costume and enjoying a few brews.

Matt isn't as outgoing as I am, so I decided not to say anything because he'd be there with me and that would make him uncomfy. But then we realized he could just stay outside while I ran back in. So I did. And the cast members seemed pretty thrilled that I came over to tell them how amazing they were and to thank them.

so, anyway, we get to the car and Matt is saying that he loves it that I do that--that I go up and say nice things to complete strangers. and I tell him when that started--about how I had always kind of done that, but then in college...etc.

and then I said that I feel like maybe I don't do that as much as I used to. And maybe I have forgotten that I had realized that that was a "Carrie job"--to bring joy to others. I mean, my name even means "Song of Joy-Reborn"--could it BE any more appropriate?

And then Matt said something that makes me smile each time I think of it--that I am VERY much still spreading joy. He almost kind of laughed at me as he pointed out that something I do ALL the TIME, nearly every weekend, is a source of joy for others. "Your pictures, Carrie. The pictures you take. If that isn't a way of spreading joy then I just don't know what is."


just had to share.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

"well, eden was a garden, you know..."

~roman candle

I love the local college radio station--wknc--you can stream them, if you like. they play lots of indie music and even have a local lunch. love it!

so, back to the wedding stuff before I forget...

we all came back to the hotel to get ready, and syd came to my room with me. and BOY was she a lifesaver! so, matt and my wedding present to each other was cowboy boots. all because when elizabeth went shopping for them with me and I kind of balked at the price a little (it was ~$40 more than I expected) she reminded me that they were a lifetime investment.

when I came home and showed matt my boots he said "well, you know what this means, right? now that you have boots I need to get some." and after I told him what elizabeth said, we just knew they were the right thing to get!

so, when I wore the boots to our engagement pictures, I had to use plastic bags to get them on. I have a very high instep, y'see, and that means they're difficult to get on. I brought more bags with when I came to tulsa, but they were grocery ones, not the ones from the store and they wouldn't pull off--I just got the tops off, and I didn't want to walk around all night with my feet in bags!

but syd, my only friend who probably even knows the right way to do this, took my boots from me and stretched them out! she rides horses, y'see. and then I could put them on without bags at all!

we went to the rehearsal, which went just fine. I was kind of surprised that we said our full vows to each other then BUT it wasn't a big deal. somewhere I have pictures of it, but I'm not sure where they are right now. anyway, after the rehearsal and checking out the barn again it was time for dinner!

we went to chimi's on 15th and all squeeeeezed into their back room. we enjoyed margaritas and beer and awesome tex-mex. I was REALLY glad we got to have tex-mex, specifically chimi's, because it meant that we gave our out-of-town guests my two favorite oklahoma foods--chimi's and zio's!

and after dinner we went to the hospitality room at the hotel. there was food and a cake with these cool wax hands on it--(george correct me if I'm wrong) I *believe* they were on grandma (martha's) wedding cake oh so long ago. It was cute that we had a cake to cut since saturday we just had cupcakes.

we still needed to make flowers, and it was AMAZING because SO MANY PEOPLE pitched in! even the guys--michael (mary alise's husband, featured multiple times on this blog, such as here, here and here) and trevor (my now brother in law) even pitched in! we got them done SO fast--if only we'd had more than two pairs of scissors I think we would've been done in like ten minutes!

and then it was time for bed. it was kind of funny because I refused to get in bed until I had a list of things to take with me in the morning and jennifer refused to leave my room until she saw me take an ambien. quite hilarious, I thought! but both were QUITE important. apparently matt stayed up drinking with the guys until 3am, but I was in bed by 1230 because I NEEDED it.

and I'm actually really glad I ended up staying in our room, and staying by myself. it was kind of the only "carrie time" I got--and I actually really needed it! whew! next up: day o' our wedding!!!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

"like baby, baby, baby, oh"

~justin bieber

um, I must confess, I like this song.
I must also confess that I do NOT like the sloppy, messy, southern boy hairdo. yuck. it's like a comb-over for teenagers. I have yet to find someone who it actually looks "good" on. If you happen to have a haircut like this, I'd be glad for you to change my mind. but so far--yikes.


so, this morning, for the sake of my sanity, I stayed home. and cleaned. and now I can see all four chairs and the ENTIRE dining area table. I also went through the mail, did the dishes, did laundry and all sorts of other goodies. and I did it all while wearing my new cute nightgown. which is something that some people might wear as a dress.

it is so comfortable I already want it in another color! I have lots of stuff from my bachelorette, but not all of it is "lounge around" worthy.

anyway, it was kind of funny to wake up this morning and go "you know what? I am staying home and I am CLEANING!" and being pleased with that decision. But now that I have put up much of the wedding craft stuff and organized items and put up a suitcase and thrown stuff away, I am pleased as punch that I did so.

and I purposefully did not take a before and after picture because, well, I just didn't want to admit that my house looked like that at one point!

one area done and many to that Matt and I are done planning a wedding, and now that we have new goodies to enjoy, we are doing some serious cleaning and purging! I am also pleased because I happen to only have a few summer weddings--two in june, none in july and two in august--and none to attend until october--so we are going to have some freeeeeeee weekends!

I'm also working on a "reward" basis...

1. When our bedroom and bathroom are completely clean, we get to repaint said bathroom and put up our new shower curtain. We also get to put up our double curtains in the bedroom. We are still going to use the ones we have up but also add a light-blocking curtain too. I. cannot. WAIT!

2. When our kitchen is clean we GET to go through our items and reorganize the kitchen. You might not know this, but I actually really enjoy organizing things. Grouping and using space more efficiently makes me quite happy. It will also help us get rid of things we don't need.

3. When we clean out and organize our garage, we get to buy our beer fridge that we "gave" each other for Christmas. It also means I get additional freezer space, which is awesome because I get so much produce in the summer!

4. An organized living room = buy a new couch, using our rug we bought (see image below--we got the green one--I wanted the yellow one because it's pretty much my new favorite color, but Matt said no.) and getting a coffee table that doesn't break apart every time you move it. I'm also hoping to put up some pictures on the wall, we shall see. And I really want to get a Wii, but I don't know that Matt will go for it. We sometimes think it sounds like an awesome idea and sometimes don't. We shall see.

5. And then there's the guest room. Our plan is as follows: put mattress in cover and put in attic. Put desk in room for yours truly. I will still probably do a lot of editing on my laptop, but I'll also have the option of using my wireless keyboard and big ol' monitor. AND it will allow me to do my crafty stuff up there instead of taking over the dining area table. When we have guests we will bring the mattresses down from the attic and I'll just use my laptop. I'm pretty excited about this, I gotta tell you...

6. And then we'll tackle what we call "the basement." We don't spend a lot of time down there, and until we are done elsewhere it will continue to serve as a catchall. But eventually, eventually, it'll be all spruced up too. :) It is definitely last on the list.

I'm hoping we get all of this done by, oh, August-ish. It sounds like a lot, but I really think a couple of Saturdays and we'll be good to go. We shall see!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

the earth day giveaway!

and the winner of the earth day giveaway for the reusable skeeda bag is commenter #1, renee!

I am going to do another eco-giveaway soon, so keep an eye out!

live a life extraordinary with me...

~carbon leaf

so, matt and I remembered what happened on thursday after meeting the pastor, before dinner. walmart, got my makeup trial done by the fabulous beth, and ate some mcalisters because we hadn't had lunch. and matt went and got his groomsmen gifts and also bought his wedding shoes.

nothing like waiting until the last minute...

on friday morning I got up and went to brunch with my fabulous ladies. we had a DELICIOUS breakfast with two different kinds of quiche, lots of fruit and cinnamon rolls and coffee and mimosas. mmmmm!

I also gave them their gifts--I thought I took a picture of them, but evidently did not. They all got a vintage apron, a cameo ring, a mini bottle of champagne, an envirosax bag and a vintage hankie, all tied together with a piece of ribbon. I have it on good authority that they loved them! I wish we had taken a picture of us all together with the aprons--Renee suggested it, but everyone wasn't there!

(oh and of course sterling didn't get an apron or a ring--but he DID get a big bottle of makers mark and an envirosax. matt's guys all got steins with their initials on them)

after brunch we made our cupcake stands and headed to get our nails did. and I must say they actually did a REALLY good job. I made it two whole days before chipping a nail. usually it takes about an hour and a half. :)

and then it was to the barn! where the guys were supposed to be, but weren't. they had gone off for alcohol--priorities, priorities. ;) on the way there I got one of the "not holding up my end of the bargain" emails, which was really upsetting. so I was already kind of hot when we got to the barn and found two bossy ladies there, insisting that we had to leave immediately because prom kids were arriving to have their pictures taken.

there was also a mom, grandmother and daughter who were considering having a graduation party at the barn. they were very nice and I answered questions for them--which they said was pretty impressive--I was getting married in 26 hours and I was calm and polite and helpful. ha!

so, the worst part about those stinkin moms is that all we wanted to do is check out how the barn looked and be on our merry way. but we could NOT find the light switch. there were seven of us, all looking, completely unsuccessfully. so we asked the ladies if they knew and they said "we are busy and don't have time to show you. you shouldn't even be here if leslie isn't here. you have to leave, we are having a shoot."

I had to walk away before I bitched them out, and someone, Jennifer, maybe? Went and was like "seriously, we just need to know how to turn off the lights and we'll be gone in five minutes of less." The ladies showed us a room to the side--and within minutes, we were out of there. The ladies were asking us questions about locking up and Leslie coming over to make sure we weren't doing anything we weren't supposed to, where our rehearsal was, etc.

It was VERY frustrating. I wanted to be like "honey, I paid about 15 times more to rent this than you did, and I reserved Friday night two weeks ago because no one had booked it, and Leslie agreed to it. She called me on TUESDAY to see if y'all could come, and to see if you could schedule your shoot around us. So don't give me this hooey."

I really wanted to say that. But I didn't. yeesh.

and this isn't very nice of me to say, BUT I'm gonna say it anyway--so, we sat there watching the prom people arrive--they came in one of those SUV limos. And then the bossy ladies started taking pictures. With point and shoots. Now, I firmly believe you can get really good pictures with a point and shoot if you know how to use it, and I'm not exactly knocking the point and shoot, BUT...for all of the attitude they displayed, and because I know it's $100-something to just be allowed to do a shoot there, to spend hundreds of dollars on dresses and hair and a limo, and then to PAY to get to shoot somewhere and take all the pictures with a pocket camera?

it's kind of like putting super cheap tires on a brand new car.

and it made me laugh.

BUT there's a good part of the story that goes with this...and kind of explains why we wanted to turn on the lights so badly...

so while the gals were off getting nails done and eating delicious brunch on MeMaw's lovely floral china, the guys and Matt's family went to the barn to hang up lights. When Matt and I visited in December there was exactly ONE light in the barn. One single bulb. And it was dark, I'm not gonna lie.

over Christmas Matt and I and literally ALL of the Frys went searching for day-after-Christmas specials on lights. because if the one bulb was it, we were going to need some serious help. We had at least a hundred strands of light ready--not that we planned on using all of them, but just in case some didn't light, or we needed them other places, etc.

turns out...turns out that there were dozens of strands of lights up in the barn. and this really awesome light fixture in the middle (which I saw in february-ish when another bride o' the barn took pictures). so I knew it was going to be a little better--but I had NO idea about all of the fabulous lighting!

so--less lights to put up, yeehaw!

and then--so, I was also having the guys hang up the pennant banners around the barn. so they started with one, and draped it along the nails that were already in the wall (we had staple guns at the ready, too) and in the process of hanging found that it fit exactly from x, to the corner, around to y and up to z. and the next banner went from z to a and b and back to y. or whatever.

but they did so perfectly. as though they were MADE for that space. except, um, they SO weren't. I just took my triangles of fabric, arranged them in a pretty order and put them on ribbon until I ran out of the stack. and one of the pieces of ribbon was like 17 3/4 yards--the end of the spool at Hancock. so it's not like I measured anything.

it makes me happy that it all just WENT there. :)

okay, this is already long, so friday part deux will have to wait for another post...
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