Saturday, December 29, 2012


occasionally, as a parent, I feel like a super-fool. okay more than occasionally. but still.

this means that our moments of brilliance must be celebrated!


the last five nights have been hellish. we have been woken up at crazy friggin hours. travel is certainly a member of the "to-blame" party. additionally we switched swaddles midweek for safety's sake (girlfriend is rolling over both ways and was freaking me out with her middle of the night back arching on her side). and Cleona was sleeping in a borrowed pack n play. we are 98% sure someone let their kiddo continue to play in it when they were well past the weight limit--the hard bottom/pad was more than a little curvy.

Also important to note: I slept for 3.5 total hours last night.

Thus, we are in survival mode. We decided this AM that if Cleona woke, after two pacifier attempts I would nurse her. Regular schedule be damned. Also, I suggested that perhaps she should sleep in our (full size) bed the whole night--I usually pull her in with us after the first AM feeding and she sleeps soundly then.

Matt took it one step further and suggested he sleep on the couch so Cleona and I could have plenty of space.

So far, so good. It's definitely going better than last night. Full update is forthcoming.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I considered today...

The last "real" day of maternity leave. Just Cleona and me....

We snuggled until 910.
We got clean. (And then I put on pjs again!)
We ate a lot. And played. And ate. And rolled. And napped. And are.
We also did laundry, arts and crafts and worked on refinancing our house.

It was truly delightful. I am SO sad to be going back but excited to see adults, to make (more) money (than I do with photography) and grateful to be starting back part time so I can spend more time with my late-sleeping petunia.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

a little letter

dear cleona,

tomorrow you will be sixteen weeks old. sixteen amazing, frustrating, wonderful, sleepy, cuddly, fantastic and unbelievable weeks. arguably the very best sixteen weeks of my life.

In my life I have accomplished many things I've been proud of--I was second in my class. I received the highest achievement a Girl Scout can be awarded, was a Top Ten Freshman and also was selected as one of only ten women in my collegiate year to receive the highest honor a KayDee can. These are kind of big deals.

you, little girl, are bigger. you are the very best, most amazing thing I've ever done.

I look at your sweet eyes and amazing expressions and delicate hands and it makes me teary and smile ear-to-ear at the same time.

people told me that having you out of my belly would sometimes make me sad because I wasn't the only one who really got to interact with you. people told me I'd be sad to share you. they were sadly mistaken.

my favorite smile in the world is yours. my second favorite smile in the world is the one that your daddy makes at your when you smile at him.

you have the sweetest laugh I have ever heard. it looks like we made a great decision with your name--because every description I've heard of your great, great, great aunt, both of our namesake, includes that she had a delightful laugh. I love it that you do too.

I can't wait to see what hand you write with. And what color your eyes will be (your PopPop and Auntie Nicole think they will stay blue!). And what your first word will be. I can't wait to teach you what kindness is, and the names of colors, and how to throw a softball. I hope you like soccer because I can't wait to see Matt teach you how to play. I can't wait for you to learn to read, either. I've been reading Charlotte's Web (the copy from your fab godmother/auntie Jen) to you and A Short History of Nearly Everything because I want your vocab to be amazing. :)

One of my very favorite things is how much you like to be near me. It makes every late night, every worry, every time you make a mess everywhere and even the way you were born with your hand by your face and how you made me push for four hours totally, completely worth it. I love that you sleep best when we cuddle in the morning. You've started reaching out your feet and hands to make sure I'm still there. It is just wonderful.

you get dozens of kisses every day. your daddy and I find a delight in you that I cannot even articulate. I really do love you with all of the love in the world.

~your lucky, lucky momma
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