i heart fall.

the time of the fair. and sweaters. and hot drinks and cool nights. of wearing socks and changing leaves and lots of orange and yellow and purple. gloves and coats, open windows, heavier blankets, apples!, pumpkins, butternut squash (now a fave. last year I had NO idea how delicious it was. mmm mmm mmm.)

it's my favorite.

and this year, while my family stuff is dragging me down, that's what I'm trying to remind myself of--that it's FALL. It's my favorite time of year. I should grab my not-pregnant self a delicious fall beer (Shipy@rd Pumpk!nhead is AMAZINGLY amazing), throw on my favorite pair of T0Ms and enjoy it.

so it's what I'm doing.

on the agenda...

-go the the FAIR! this Saturday!

-do some awesome fall photo sessions (I've given away three sessions recently--I must be crazy--but I'm SO excited)

-take some pictures of leaves. I LOVE that I can see some beautiful ones outside from my cube at work. I think I'm going to have to talk Matt into driving down the Blue Ridge Parkway (and maybe hiking) one day later this month or in November.

-celebrate my birthday. only twelve more days! :)

-enjoy more fall beer.

then? repeat. :)

I don't wanna.

I don't wanna hear that such-and-such and I could maybe be pregnant at the same time because they're thinking of trying in three-six-nine-twelve months.

I don't wanna hear (from faceb00k, no less) that my brother (who got married in july, who announced his engagement via faceb00k without a call/text/etc to me or TO MY MOM beforehand) thinks that if we don't hurry up, I might just be an auntie before I'm a mommie.

And I really don't want to hear "just relax." Or "it'll happen when the time is right."

It's not that I don't appreciate the support.
It's not that I don't looooove babies. ('cause I love 'em. a lot. they are cute and cuddly and wonderfully made)
And it's not that I don't want to talk about it.

It's just that right now what I really want to hear isn't positive or uplifting. This is difficult. It's thought-consuming. It's frustrating and I have zero control. And trying to get pregnant? Not a cakewalk. Especially when you're always hearing someone comment in one way or another. It's like hearing a constant "better luck next time!" A well-meaning, from-someone-I-love statement that is like rubbing salt in a wound.

Anyhoodle. Just on my mind. If you're reading this and wondering if you should just not talk to me about it--don't worry, you can. Just please don't come with lots of sunshine and daisies, or Imagonna have to rain on your parade a little. :)

next up, something WAY more positive, I swear!

a little crazy.

this year Matt and I have done some things that are a little crazy.

in June we drove up to DC to see little Lily, my good friend Mary Alise's newborn girl. We drove up on a Sunday (~4.5 hours of driving), hung out for 4 hours, ate dinner with them and then drove back! This was not our intention--we were going to get a hotel and they even offered us a room--but this meant that Matt could get back to school, so we did. I blogged about it earlier this year.

in, what was it, June? July? I drove to Asheville for the afternoon. There was TORRENTIAL rain, I got soaked while at a gas station (seriously I couldn't even get to the handle for the gas that was already IN MY CAR because of the rain, it was crazy) and I had my kindle read me book 2 of the hunger games series to keep me entertained. I went there to visit Renee before she moved back to OK from Atlanta. (it makes me sad that she's no longer in driving distance). We met up, hung out, walked around to the shops, ate dinner and then got on the road. I drove nearly 8 hours that day. Exhausting but totally worth it.

and then this weekend we went to Ohio. Well, let me back up. Wednesday little Caroline was born. I am her Aunt Carrie (not in the by-blood-or-marriage way, in the friends are the family your choose for yourself kind of way). Thursday I worked late, ran errands and made soup. Friday I spent 4 hours photographing a rehearsal dinner. Saturday AM I was supposed to have a newborn session that got postponed, I brought soup to the family anyway and I spent 8 hours photographing a wedding. I got home at 1130pm, backed up the photos, packed up newborn props, camera stuff and snacks and went to bed around 1am.

At 4:30 my alarm went off. We got up, finished packing, did the last minute things, loaded the car and got on the road at 6:30. Where were we going? Dayton, Ohio, that's where.

We got there around 3 am then the real fun began. I took like 800 pictures of Caroline. We had yummy Mexican food. I held her. And held her. And had fun with Jessica's parents. I met Cody's mom for the first time, I think, (I think I'd met his dad before, maybe) and then I took even more pictures. We slept at Jessica & Cody's friend's house, got up early, visited DLM for some "k!ller brownies" and groceries, went back to their house, made soup, took more pictures and then got on the road.

We drove for 17+ hours and were in Dayton for ~24, only ~15 of which were actually at their house. But it meant I got to take pics like this, so I'm not complaining. :)


And I got to see my little niece when she was just five days old. She is SO adorable, has a head full of hair and is going to be so much fun, I can tell. I love her so much! I actually got a little teary last night while editing more of her photos because I wish I could just drive to Jessica's house and cuddle little Caroline some more. :)

irregular in my blogging, I know, I know.

I have discovered that I'm just not as good at doing this on a regular basis as I used to be. But I promise, I am trying...

I think part of it is because of photography.
And part of it is pinterest.
And the ever-present book-with-the-face.

Oh, and working. That too. :)

But, I have good news:

1. I am editing things at lightning speed right now. (knock on wood) I'm not sure what happened. I'm not asking questions. I'm just enjoying it. I'm sure the rehearsal dinner, wedding and two newborn session this weekend will slow my roll, but I like not stressing about the deadlines! I am actually allllll done with last weekend's sessions!

2. I will be sharing fun things on my photography blog today. Just you wait. :)

3. It is almost my favorite month! There are many amazing things about October, so I'm sure I'll be posting. (although, I'm also nervous about it being October. I'm not sure how I feel about turning 31. I liked 30. I'm not so sure about 31 yet.)

"well, I live in durham but I'm actually from oklahoma."

I say this often. Like, really really often. pretty much every time I meet someone new.

I hated the question that warrants this answer for a looooong time. I still don't love it. But now I find it tolerable. Because it usually follows up with "what brought you here?" I am now comfortable enough to say "a guy who isn't in the picture anymore" or, sometimes "my ex-husband" depending on how well I think I will get to know you.

today as I was walking into work, practically doing gleeful cartwheels as I enjoyed this chillier weather (oh fall, I love you.) I was thinking about north carolina. And life. And just the random my-caffeine-hasn't-kicked-in-yet thoughts that were tumbling about in my noggin.

And somehow it occurred to me: not only have I lived in North Carolina for eight years (longer than middle and high school combined!) but it's official: other than the home on 36th street that I grew up in, I've never lived anywhere as long as I've lived at my townhome. We are well past the three year mark, what what!?

hurricane #2.

the last time I experienced a hurricane firsthand was 2003. it was in september, and I had just moved here like two months before. It was crazy--no bread, no milk, no eggs, no bottled water to be had--all for some wind and rain and a few hours without power. I remember thinking that I didn't get what all the fuss was about (and I still stand by my point that the people should be prepared in advance and that buying milk and eggs when you're at risk of losing power for days is pretty foolish). But then I saw some of the devastation caused by Isabel, and I understood the crazy. Maybe not totally, but I understood to some extent.

well, this weekend marked hurricane #2. Irene. oh, those hurricanes that start with "I." there's been substantial damage to our coast. roadways torn up, people without power, coastal erosion.

(And I just realized that I typed "our" coast--guess I'm claiming NC now!)

We lost power for a little bit--and when it came back on we had to flip the breakers to get the whole house functioning (only the lowest level went back on). There were limbs down and the like.

But the worst part of it all has been reading the insensitive posts on facebook. People saying "I survived Irene--well, the media coverage" or saying that the east coast is made of a bunch of wimps if they're getting this excited over a category two.

People DIED. Hundreds of thousands are without power. Roadways are torn up, people are unable to get good and supplies. It's a big deal.

I'll be more positive tomorrow. :D Just appalled by some people!

I have been having trouble sleeping...

but my dreams have involved beds.

the irony is not lost on me.

all I remember is that I was trying to pick out a bed. I think we were shopping for it.

which, amongst all of the other meanings, seems like it's about me needing to find peace. or escape.

and i'm-a-gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that might be family-craziness related. perhaps. maybe.

but? I am channeling all of my negativity and frustration and overwhelming blah into the following:

1. photos! lots of photos! I really want to do some fun photo shoots this year. I'm thinking about offering mini photo shoots at the fair. Is that totally nuts?

2. projects! lots of projects! up next: sew curtains. sew outdoor pillows. sew bed pillow(s). find curtain rods (I can foretell the future: matt and I will be visiting bed bath and bey0nd soon, armed with 20% off coupons galore and some remaining gift cards). then: identify items to give away, pack away and throw away.

3. decorating! lots of decorating! I have some fun plans for that too...little involving picture frames and screws. (my mom sent me a picture of something I want to recreate) and canvas prints. and floating shelves. etc.

right.

but first? I'd like to get more sleep. It's terribly important, methinks.

perception is reality.

a guy I used to know taught me that phrase--perception is reality. It makes me think of two other important phrases I have learned in life--one is "it all pays the same." the other is "agree to disagree."

these little nuggets of wisdom come in handy pretty often. and I have gotten VERY good at agreeing to disagree, and I still work on remembering, sometimes, that it all pays the same.

I think about how perception is reality really often though.

A couple of days ago a gal I knew in Tulsa and I had lunch. She was telling me how hard it was to live in her previous city--because of other peoples' realities. Like, she has the same kind of crazy ass conversations that I have with my mother or sister (e.g., explaining why, when you have $200 to your name, it is unwise to have a burger and fries delivered to your door, eat half of it, realize it was made wrong, ask for a new one and when they decline to give you one, go ahead and order another one. that's a $45 meal. for a BURGER and FRIES.). And then she told me how, right after being on the phone with her mom, who was in the midst of a ridiculous situation, a gal came to her door, one of her husband's coworkers wives, if I'm recalling correctly, and was in TEARS. In tears because she had told her parents, very specifically, exactly what kind of yacht she wanted, and they had gotten her a yacht that wasn't what she wanted, that it was a terrible yacht, and she was unhappy with it.

hellllllllllo perspective. and perception. and two very different realities.

anyway, it just made me think--about how I know everyone has their own crap with which to deal, and how I thought, today, as I cried a little in my cube, that normal people don't deal with the kind of family bizarro-ness that I'm experiencing. but then I remembered that, to them, it's the same crazy in a different packaging. and somehow that was oddly comforting. :)

"I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now."

I am fully aware that things have changed a LOT since the heyday of my parents or grandparents.

I know that even people ten years older than I am found technology very strange when computers and the internet became a part of daily life.

It is not lost on me that I am lucky enough to have been bitten by the technology bug during my teenage years--so that I am old enough to remember what life was like without a computer, but that computers don't frighten me.

well...

Good news! We are switching from Allst@te to Nati0nwide and we are saving almost TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS over the course of the year. That's pretty kickin' I think.

But.

Poor Matt? He just spent 2 hours at the guy's office. Me? I have spent a minimum of, oh, let's lowball it and say seven hours on the phone with this dude. He's a nice guy. He could probably be the older brother to my father or something. But his technology? It SUCKS.

He couldn't email me a quote. Ever. He couldn't even email me the total amounts of the coverage costs.

He couldn't email me practically anything. I totally get needing a "wet signature" as they say it, but really? You would think that he could pull up the software, pull up the quote we'd already worked out (and the appurtenant policy), have Matt slap on some signatures and be done with it. I'd already given him the number for my card and the routing and account numbers for the monthly draft.

But, in his defense, he works on one of those old-timey computers with a dark screen and green writing, I think. His computer shut down in the middle of his work, he couldn't get the printer to print and basically everything went haywire.

But for REAL? The office needs to get new computers. They are going to lose business this way. Am I asking so much wanting a response to my request in 24 hours? Is it unreasonable for me to want a quote emailed to me rather than faxed (thereby wasting TWO printouts of it). Am I crazy thinking that we should be able to do all of this in advance and then I can just go in, sign it and thank him and be on my way?

I mean, we already went through this once for my business insurance. It took an hour. It was supposed to take twenty minutes.

Yep, it's official--unreasonable or not, I want it all, and I want it now.

"a girl can keep it together. a girl can keep it together..."

~the be good tanyas.

This song just popped into my head and I had to break out ye olde ipod. I suppose it makes sense, though.

I've been feeling a little roller-coaster-ee recently. It's overwhelming.

I've been realizing, too, that I am not overwhelmed by being busy. Instead, it is overwhelming that people have such high expectations of me. And it is hard to not feel overwhelmed when other people are commenting on how crazy you should probably feel. Y'know, because you're so busy. Except you feel kind of wonderfully relaxed about it all.

I mean...

We were home this last weekend!
We had no plans!
Next weekend we're traveling again, but we only planned it a few days ago, and it's to see my incredible in-laws (I am so lucky to think my in-laws are the bees knees, I know!) and it's a chill, not-scheduled, no-obligations or timelines kind of trip.

And I may have plans every night this week, but they are gonna be FUN and EXCITING or at least enjoyable--teaching a teenager about photography tonight, tomorrow I have softball, wednesday I'll be with Nicole and hopefully meeting little Sloan, Thursday is sushi with the gals and then it's the weekend. See? FUN! Exciting! Enjoyable!

Plus, I really liked this weekend. Or, really since last Thursday. Last Thursday my now-officially favorite brewery I've ever been to (and not just because of proximity) was having a special deal where they had mason jar glasses for their Summer B@sil beer for $8--and you kept the glass. Awesomesauce. Matt and I went as soon as he got back from soccer. I heart Fullste@m so very, very much!

On Friday Matt brought me lunch and ate with me downstairs. I worked a lot. And I had a photoshoot that went really well in the evening. And then I came home and Matt and I went out to Mell0w Mushr00m in Americ@n T0bacc0 in Durham. It's one of our go-to date places. The weather was gorgeous so we sat outside. We giggled. I was complimented on my choice of a dark beer. We are just the right amount of our favorite pizzas. The Mighty Me@ty and the G0urmet White. The two most opposite pizzas ever. But ever since our third date, when we ate at the one in downtown Raleigh and ordered the G0urmet White and got the Mighty Me@ty by mistake, it's what we order every time. :) After that we went right back to Fullste@m and had more of their delicious beer.

Saturday I photographed a wedding with the awesome Nicole. It had been far too long since I last saw her, so I was glad to hang out with her all day, even if we were working. And then I came home and took a nap (yes, at 645pm. It was Matt's idea. I am SO glad I did.) And then we watched movies, I sewed a pillow and we just hung out.

And Sunday? Sunday was nuts. And fantastic! Long story short, because of a sale that was going on and my asking a question (can you match the b*stbuy price on a similar TV?), and because I sat there and looked like I wasn't going to make the purchase, we ended up saving $404 total on our new 46' led TV and accessories. $200 of it is because of the question and the look on my face! We won't get to set it up and use it until Wednesday, but we are excited! And it means we can rearrange our living room :D It took us like three and a half hours to figure it all out and make a decision, but we did! And then, while we drove I got to catch up with Renee! We don't talk on the phone very often so it was quite a treat!

And then we went over to Derek and Courtney's new house which we hadn't seen yet. It is CUTE! And we love the layout. The four of us sat around enjoying caprese and Italian beer (and some pomegranate wheat by s@ranac) and watched the flip video of Italy. The part on the gondola is unreal! You can hear it so well! And parts of it were hilarious! We then ate Italian food (of course!) prepared by Courtney, and then just sat around and talked. There was also an episode with the gigantic spider outside. It's a garden spider, but it's BIG and kind of scary looking. Quite funny indeed.

Then Derek convinced us that we should all go outside and play PIG. Or maybe HORSE. And then the fun started--Derek suggested we instead play "ALLORA"--our favorite Italian word. Courtney was in the lead for a while, which was fun. I was the first out, though in the process I did make some pretty ridiculous shots. There was one where we stood behind Courtney's car, where Matt and I made it but C&D did not. And once Courtney and I were both out, there was one where Matt stood in the backyard and made it--and then Derek did too! That one was CRAZY!

Eventually Derek caught up with Matt. And then they started being all Harlem-Globetrotter-y with their shots. After 4 or 5 times of both making it (and a few changes of who made the one that had to be repeated) Matt said "Carrie's taking this shot for me. This one is all her."

So I did.

And I put it in.

And Derek didn't.

So Matt won! :D It was pretty cool being the first person out but still making the game-winning shot. :) Loved it. We've decided this is a tradition we'll embrace every time we go to their house. A Frychardson/K0cis game of Allora. YAY!

all she wants to do is, all she wants to do is [craft]. (and make romance)

no, really.

that is, quite literally, ALL I want to do. I want to work on our house. And I want to make things. I want to craft. I daydream about it. Pinterest isn't exactly helping. :) And I have PLANS.

I want to make the curtains for downstairs. The yellow chevron fabric I got on super sale (half off, so $8 a yard, which is pretty fantastic for 60 inch wide decorator fabric!) is calling my name. A few sundays ago I decided I wanted to go to Hancock's in Durham, and there it was. I bought it immediately. I did call Matt first, though. And he said he didn't hate it. And I also mentioned that it could potentially have a home in a future gender-neutral nursery, if we wanted. And so he agreed. And there was much rejoicing. :D However, we will definitely be putting those other curtains in storage and putting them back up when it comes time to show the house--because they fit the space well and we don't want to part with our curtains!

Anyhoo. So I have those curtains. And then...

I bought fabric (during that same half of sale!) for outdoor pillows. And fabric for some indoor pillows for both our living room and our downstairs (to further tie in the yellow). AND I have a fun idea for some freezer paper stencil art too. Basically, I am redecorating our house. I don't believe I have mentioned that we rearranged our basement, have I? I mean, I gave you a preview here...

-but now that desk is yellow.
-and the shelves are better organized.
-and we've (finally) integrated our DVD collection (I used to think that Matt thought my DVDs weren't good enough to be near his. ha!)
-and I have gotten rid of a LOT.

previously this room held, in addition to what you can see in the picture
-an ikea loveseat
-our old living room couch
-two side tables
-a WHOLE BUNCH of boxes--wedding presents we hadn't given homes to, some wedding stuff that we hadn't gone through (like decor from it), and lots of boxes o' random things that we had accumulated. I found a canvas thing Matt had given me when we celebrated Valentines day in 2009 that was still in the wrapping. Oopsie!
-assorted crap.
-and more assorted crap.

This picture is a few weeks old, but it gives you the gist. And now we can actually use this space, woohoo! You can see the fabric roll in there too! and my (almost) finished desk! We are going to buy some spacer things to put on the bottom to raise it up so the chair will slide under it. I am also thinking about repainting the desk a little milder of a yellow. With the primer under it that yellow is BRIGHT. But I'm going to live with it a little while and see how I like it with the curtains and THEN decide.

And next up:

--Matt still needs to go through the things under/on his desk, but he has been doing a lot around the house, so I am totally patient. :)

--hanging curtains! I want to go to Hobby Lobby to get the hardware. I'm hoping to talk some ladies into a road trip on the 20th. Or maybe get Matt to go. :) Any takers? It's about 45 minutes from my house.

--We will be donating Matt's big honkin' TV (of the huge, heavy persuasion) and moving our TV from the living room into that space, because we have decided it is time to buy a new TV for our living room. We are currently very limited by our TV size--it's on the smaller side, especially when the TV image is cropped on the screen, and if we move our arrangement so it's more open we will both be straining to see it. Considering that we are kind of tv-aholics (I would be ashamed to admit this, except at the same time it's pretty much the only time we're still when we are at home), being able to see is kind of important. :) And I hate how tiny our living area feels right now. So, yeah. We are going TV shopping on Sunday, wish us luck!

--We will be slipcovering that recliner. I hope. We aren't going to make our own for this one, though.

--At some kinda-distant point I'll be slipcovering our little Ikea chair. I am really hoping to do it myself. I need to find a super-forgiving fabric first. Which kind of conflicts with my desire to do a bold pattern. But I'm sure it will work out, right? Part of me hopes I'll have the time to do it this winter when photography slows down. Except then I remember that I have a wedding in January and (hopefully) two weddings in March. Ha!

--We will be getting rid of at least part of Matt's entertainment center. This thing has lived in many many houses. Owned by many different Frys and maybe even Fry friends, I'm not sure. But it's falling apart. And it's time. I tried to talk Matt into letting me paint it, but he said no. He thinks I paint everything. I think he might be right :)

--I hope to put some small shelves up over my desk. And eventually move my monitor down there. We currently have it rigged so I have my monitor on a TV tray in the living room since I do most of my editing in there. We also are keeping an eye out for a flat screen monitor for Matt.

and then I think that room will be done! In the meantime we're tackling the living room and the kitchen. It's gonna be like a whole new house when we are done!!

not able to be controlled.

I sometimes worry about what to blog and whether or not what I am blogging is appropriate for my audience and/or if it's something that Matt would be okay with me talking about. This is one of those times.

My friend Christy and I were talking a few weeks ago about how the hardest thing about trying to get pregnant is that you have zero control over it. I mean, you can pee on sticks all month and time everything perfectly and you still only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month.

I've had many friends deal with difficulties getting pregnant--some are full on classified as having "infertility issues" while some just validated the statistic of it taking up to 12 months for your average couple under the age of 35. I've also had some friends get pregnant on the very first try. So, as much as I thought I could, I steeled myself for the reality that we probably wouldn't get pregnant on the first attempt. And I was/am okay with that.

But the things I haven't yet come to terms with are kind of driving me batty.

For one, that whole lack of control part. I am a very logical thinker. It is hard for me to understand that, well, let's put it this way...if you are baking a cake and you put in flour and sugar and eggs and vanilla and baking powder and milk and you mix it up and put it in the oven, you expect a cake, yes? That's not how it works for women. And I had no appreciation for that until this time in my life.

For two, the people. Oh, the people. Some are so, so well meaning. I've already had to explain to multiple people why it is that it is ill advised to ask a woman whether or not she is pregnant. I mean, either she is, and you've ruined the surprise, or she isn't, and you've just reminded her of this. Or, heaven forbid, she's in that window when you don't know. None are good options. I have had some sweet thoughts conveyed too--and I think one of my favorites was a friend who said she will never ask me about it, but that she was sending pregnancy vibes to me and was thinking of us and praying for us. And for that, I am grateful.

For three (which is kind of related to one), the timing. So. In ideal-land, Matt and I would like to have a child--a healthy, I don't care the gender child--whose birthday fell before Matt's summer break. Because in ideal-land, I would take my maternity leave, and then Matt would have the summer off, and we could delay childcare. We think this would be good for our as-yet-unconceived kiddo. And for our peace of mind. Only time will tell on this one.

But to end on a positive note, I do have something really great to say--which is that I am very glad to have my new boss. She had a little sit down with all of her employees, one on one, and I mentioned to her that Matt and I would like to have a family in the not-too-distant future because, well, it will affect my work. And it was SO amazing, because her response was happiness for us and our decision. Not considerations about workload or timelines. But instead, she made a little delightful squealy noise and told me that she was excited for us and our future plans, and then said that we'd just worry about work when that time came. TOTAL opposite from my old boss (who I do really like, but doesn't *get* it). And a huge stress relief. :)

yada yada yada--fifteen hundred posts.

hi. this is my 1500th post. it makes me kind of sad to realize that if you graphed my posting frequency, that graph would be a fairly level line for a long time and then peter out. oh well.

last night for dinner, on a total whim, I made this. I changed it up a little, but it was essentially this, and it was GOOD.

Matt and I have been playing this "game" where we try to use things we already have. Total shocker, I know. But some, um....let's go with the phrase "unfortunate family absurdity" [on my side] has made us decide to try to be much more intentional with our purchases, due to the likelihood of that absurdity weighing on our personal pocketbook in the not-crazy-distant-future. oh, life.

but anyway.

-we had sausage on hand from our weekly CSA. it was "hot" and I think that heat added a lot!
-I used rice we had instead of the kind they listed
-I added garlic (I always add garlic!)
-and I only used one can of tomatoes and then used up some ripe ones we had laying around. I am LOVING the summer tomatoes. I think that the dish could've had even more tomatoes!
-oh and I omitted the greens. it wasn't purposeful, I just forgot. but since I have green smoothies every day, I didn't feel so terrible about it. :)

I would've taken pictures, but honestly? I was hungry!

also, this little milestone (and the milestones I'd like to have happen in the next short while, and some recent events) have gotten me thinking about who I was in December of 2004 and who I am now. Of the many, many changes and adventures and terrible and amazing things that have happened in the interim. And of what I thought was right or wrong, and what could or should be...and it's just making me very thankful for all of the awesome that's come into my life in the last seven-ish years. (And grateful for the awesome that was there already and is still there today!)

I promise my next post will have pictures. pinkie swear!

I....I predict a riot.

~kaiser chiefs

my dear friend lisa b-w called me out on my lack of blogging last night, and I realized that she is right. :)

so here's what I'll tell you...

I read The Time Machine.
I'm now reading The Girl Who Pl@yed With Fire. And you know what? The front cover is CHEEEEESY. I didn't even notice how cheesy until yesterday. But it's cheesy.

Last weekend was very wonderful and very, very much needed. I went to Ohio to see Jessica. Jessica my bridesmaid, Jessica my friend of forever, Jessica the awesome. We decorated more of her little girl's room (Jessica's due in late September) and did a whole lot of sewing. Some of it I'll be putting on my photography blog, and some of it I have to wait to tell you about until after tomorrow because it's a surprise for her husband Cody.

we also made pi0neer w0man's watermelon granita. and it was DELISH. we really, really loved it. it was kind of hysterical getting the pans of granita in her freezer (she has the double-door fridge/freezer) and we almost got granita everywhere because I was laughing hysterically, but it made it in, and we ate it. and ate it. and ate it. mmmm...oh and the watermelon we got was amazingly ripe. and in the picture with the knife, all I had done was push the point of the knife into the rind and it split like this. crazy!

also, we went to the farmer's market (I have pictures, I'll add 'em later) and we found out about Ludlow cheese. It is UNREAL. And it's pasteurized. I liked it so much I got information from the farmer because they ship their cheese. We made tacos on Saturday night, along with guac and our watermelon granitas, and you know how usually in tacos it's the beef that steals the show? Well we had ground turkey, and let me tell you--I didn't even notice anything other than the deliciousness of that ludlow.

what else, what else....

yesterday we won our softball game, which made me very very happy! I love my team, but it's been a bit hard playing on it this season 'cause we've not been winning much. I firmly believe it's how you play the game that matters, but let's be honest, it's nice to win sometimes! So I was super excited to win! After our last game I told our team that if we won our next one I'd buy the first round when we went out to eat. We went to a Mexican food place in Morrisville, and I totally lucked out--because I give you Girl Scout's honor I didn't know, but draft beers were only 99 cents! Matt and I had dinner and bought a round of beer for $16.32! AMAZING!

tonight I'm going to the Bull's game with the KayDees and tomorrow I head to Charlotte for the wedding of the fabulous Thomas and Suzanne!

I've been reading.

a lot.

and I decided I should try and write out the books I've read this year. It's probably the most I've read in a loooong time. ready?


The Lost Symbol
(most of) Italian Survival Guide
Unwind
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Mockingjay
The Underland Chronicles: Gregor the Overlander
The Underland Chronicles: Gregor and the Prophecy of the Bane
A Discovery of Witches (which I LOVED)
Her Fearful Symmetry
and I think there were one or two more but I'm not recalling right now...

and I'm currently reading
The Alchemist
The Time Machine

and I have a bunch of other books waiting at home for me to read, but I am ADDICTED to reading on a kindle. especially because I can read it on my iphone when, say, I am waiting in line. or at lunch. LOVE that.

I've been reading, too, as a kind of stress releasing thing. When I was in college I would allow myself to read Harry Potter for 10 minutes every night, no matter how busy I was or tired I was, because it was something fun to do! So I'm trying to read just a little bit every night. And I like it.

Any book recommendations?

I think I am nesting.

not in the way that you say it about pregnant women (not pregnant, y'see), but in the way where we've decided to continue to reside in our home for a while, so we're re-appropriating the space. and the previous most-eyesore-ish of a room is quickly becoming one of my favorites.

but I am showing the "the tendency to arrange one's immediate surroundings, such as a work station, to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control." (here)

I was too ashamed to take a "before" picture, and we're still working on it. but the room is going to be pretty kickin' when we're done.

But, here are some in progress pics: Namely, clockwise from top left, "Sweet Mustard" paint, a piece of art to color-coordinate in the room, said "free desk" pre-painting (and relocated from who knows where before) and the moved and reorganized shelf! The color-order part of it is (understandably) distressing to some people (oh, no! the harry potter books aren't all together! how will you find them?) but it makes me very happy! I have plans to re-work the books a little so that some of the pink from the top middle shelf spills over onto the shelf o' white books at the top left, and it was also suggested that instead of putting my little knick-knacks and chotchkies (Matt says that word in a hilarious way, ps) with their matching colors, perhaps I should put them with complimentary colors instead. we shall see.

Next up on the list: (in no particular order)
-fill magazine holders w/ magazines that are throughout the house
-go through the boxes of stuff that were under the desks
-put bins in the other shelf and fill them as needed (cat stuff, exercise stuff, games, who knows what else)
-return Nicole's silverware! neither of us realized I still had it!
-decide what to do about my kl!ppan loveseat! (re-cover? donate?)
-decide what to do about my tullst@ chair. (re-cover? try to re-cover myself?)
-get a slip cover for matt's beloved recliner
-maybe build/buy/create some kind of a cover for the litter boxes?
-decorate!!! (cover the fuse box with something easy-to-remove, potentially put up our beer decor we've been collecting)
-decide how to paint the vintage metal file drawer I bought a while ago. (on my birthday weekend!) not totally unlike this one. it is currently dark green, a little rusty in places and definitely needs to be cleaned off. I'm thinking it might end up in a metallic something or other. possibly pewter or silver? I dunno. I need to see how it looks on/near the desk :)

and also? attack the other rooms. I keep telling Matt how different our house is going to look in a few months! Let's hope I'm right!

let's see here...DC.

I have, let me see...ZERO pictures from our quick jaunt up to DC a few weeks ago--but let me tell you, it was worth it.

We went to meet the cutest little girl. Her name is Lily. You probably have heard tell of her parents--Mary Alise and Michael. I've known them for...whoa. Is it nearly seven years? Or going on six years? I'm not sure. But in any case, Mary Alise is one of my best friends, and Michael is like the older brother I never had. And I love them very very much. And I love their little girl too.

She was fussy and sleepy, but she was also so cuddly and warm and loving. And I look forward to taking her on a roller coaster in, like, twelve years. Mary Alise and Michael don't *do* roller coasters--so "Aunt" Carrie and "Uncle" Matt have agreed to take on that duty. :)

We left for DC at, oh, 11am-ish. I had been at a wedding in Burlington the night before and got home around midnight. So we packed up and headed their way! We got there around 5 (traffic. bruegger's. gas. bathroom stops. more traffic.) and hung out for a bit, held Lily for a good while, talked about poop and breastfeeding and the joy of getting enough sleep, and ate some yummy pizza.

And then? Crazy folks that we are--we hit the road to return to Durham. We brought stuff to stay the night, but decided to drive back instead. I guess we left at like 930? And got home at like 2. Matt wanted to get back so he could go to the teacher workday that Monday, and I figured I'd just go to work late on Monday instead of taking PTO. Plus, no $$ on a hotel! (they would've let us stay with them, too, but we didn't want to disrupt their system!)

I am already looking forward to seeing that little cutie pie again! And of course my dear friends. :) Yay for dear friends having babies! Quite a few have in the past year and a half! And of course I have two new nieces in the last year too! :)

it occurs to me that...

it's been nearly a month since I last posted. for shame. for shame!

it's actually really refreshing knowing that we are staying in our house for a while longer. it means we can DO things. and it's worth our while to organize and decorate further. okay, well, let's be real...it's always (almost) worth it to organize further. decorate? eh, not so much.

it has been far too long since I last did something "creative." okay, that might be a bit over the top too. technically photography is being creative. but girlfriend needs to paint. or sew. or craft. anybody want to come craft at my house? my pinterest is full of ideas. :)

I have lots of stories to tell you. I'll get right on that. to hold me accountable, we've got DC, Asheville, Charlotte and Oklahoma to talk about. el pronto.

well, this is new.

first, an update: here's where our italy blog is located. we're only through the first part of our trip, but I'm working on the second part. :D

so, this weekend, for the first time in a long time, and definitely for the first time since algebra II, I felt like a math whiz. specifically the math whiz who, in let's say high school, the cool kids buddied up to so they could get math help, and then totally ignored as soon as math was over.

maybe it was jet leg, maybe I was hormonal, maybe a whole lot of things--but that's how I felt. and it was kind of surreal because I just kept thinking about how I'd made damn certain not to be that girl in high school. and in college we were all working our tails off, so that person rarely existed in ChE.

and yet I found myself feeling that way. I didn't even realize we were on the path until we got to the destination--but in retrospect I should've known the whole time.

thankfully, it was about nothing terribly important. or that could result in detention. :) but gee whiz. very disconcerting.

also new? thinking about the timelines of life, and wondering when/if there will be a baby/fetus and whether or not I need to (or will need to) change things because of that. the not knowing is kind of obnoxious but also kind of refreshing. and that, for lack of a better word, surprises me. I LOATHE surprises y'see (well, honestly I should clarify--I loathe surprises that I know are coming--I'm peachy with a side of keen about surprises that are a total surprise) So it is kind of fun that I think this whole not-knowing, not-getting-to-plan thing is delightful. :)

who knew?

also delightful...
-yesterday I won $75 from des!gn @glow, a very cool ph0tographer resource!
-yesterday I also won a free acupuncture session at the place I've been wanting to try out (I've never done acupuncture before but have heard amazing things)
-yesterday I got free strawberries, too! I'm going to try making fruit leather tonight! (like fruit rollups!)
-I get to photograph a wedding this weekend! woohoo!
-and I get to go meet little Lily, the wonderful daughter of Mary Alise and Michael. Seriously can't wait to meet her!

Oh yeah--and also...IT'S FRIDAY! Thank goodness!

if people do it in a 5th floor walk up in new york, I can do it in my townhome.

the thing I'm talking about is having a baby.

but let me clear something up real quick: NOT PREGNANT. got it? good.

so, the trip to Italy was incredibly incredible, and I will tell you about it post-haste. but I'm going that on a whole separate blog because, well, I want lots of people to get to read it and I don't want all those folks reading this one. capisce?

matt and I have been jibbering and jabbering about buying a house. I already own a nice little townhome. 1600 sqft, with patio and a deck and a two car garage, 2.5 bathrooms and two bedrooms. yes, it's sans a much-missed coat closet and you have to immediately walk up stairs to enter into it, but it's pretty cute and functional and in a good location.

however.

we (okay, maybe *I*) seem to have house-lust. and I seem to have fallen victim to one of the classic blunders--thinking that just because everyone else is doing it, you should too.

aside from my next door neighbors and one couple we know, I can't think of anyone in my area that has a baby or is anticipating the arrival of a baby that does not have a biiiiig sprawling house. one with 3+ bedrooms and seventeen bathrooms and a spacious yard. and one that does not have steep steps that you must climb in order to enter. I think I might have had a case of the Joneses.

except not anymore.

it's a crummy time to sell a house. and now that we've been in it for nearly 3 years (as of the 16th, actually) we have enough equity that we could, potentially, sell. and at least break even. but really, truly...it just doesn't make sense. or cents.

so, if they can do it in a 5th floor walk up in new york, I can do it in my townhome.

and in the meantime, we will be playing the rearranging game.

currently there are THREE couches in our mostly-unused downstairs bonus room. Two of them need to be outta there. The third, Nicole's old couch that's a sleeper, needs to have sole billing. Along with Matt's recliner that he loves so very much. And I have plans.

Our current guest room/Carrie's crafty stuff room/catch all will remain as a guest room. And a potential future nursery.

Our downstairs, aka bonus room, which we call the "basement"--I have big plans for there. I think it requires drawing a picture. But I think we'll rearrange it and add some desk space and integrate some storage so I can put my crafty stuff in there. We initially thought it would be a cool "party space"--but in reality? eh. Not so amazing.

And I'm still wondering about our living area. We have the same quandary as before--how to arrange the couch...I'm thinking we need a bigger TV so we can put the couch across the room and really open up that space. Matt isn't a huge fan of this idea, but I am! I definitely want the TV to be visible from the kitchen and dining area, but otherwise I'm up for options.

so, yeah. focus on decorating and changing. and maybe just maybe some painting. (matt might keel over at this too. shhhh don't tell him yet)

I promise I'll give before and after pictures. We just have to stay in town enough consecutive weekends to accomplish something!