Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I don't wanna.

I don't wanna hear that such-and-such and I could maybe be pregnant at the same time because they're thinking of trying in three-six-nine-twelve months.

I don't wanna hear (from faceb00k, no less) that my brother (who got married in july, who announced his engagement via faceb00k without a call/text/etc to me or TO MY MOM beforehand) thinks that if we don't hurry up, I might just be an auntie before I'm a mommie.

And I really don't want to hear "just relax." Or "it'll happen when the time is right."

It's not that I don't appreciate the support.
It's not that I don't looooove babies. ('cause I love 'em. a lot. they are cute and cuddly and wonderfully made)
And it's not that I don't want to talk about it.

It's just that right now what I really want to hear isn't positive or uplifting. This is difficult. It's thought-consuming. It's frustrating and I have zero control. And trying to get pregnant? Not a cakewalk. Especially when you're always hearing someone comment in one way or another. It's like hearing a constant "better luck next time!" A well-meaning, from-someone-I-love statement that is like rubbing salt in a wound.

Anyhoodle. Just on my mind. If you're reading this and wondering if you should just not talk to me about it--don't worry, you can. Just please don't come with lots of sunshine and daisies, or Imagonna have to rain on your parade a little. :)

next up, something WAY more positive, I swear!


Maria said...

{{{hugs}}} (is that ok?)

Diama said...

hey carrie - this is diama. i know, it's been FOREVER. anyway, i do know what you're going through and boy, does it suck. it took my matt and I 2.5 years. i won't tell you that it'll happen if you just relax, yadda yadda. i will tell you to take deep breaths and enjoy being with each other. the only thing i regret while we were fitfully trying was not enjoying each other and our times without baby enough. hang in there girl!

care said...

yes, maria, it's wonderful. :)

and thanks diama! deep breaths are always wise, and you are right. thank you for the encouragement!

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