full thanksgiving post soonish

but today, a teaser.

on wednesday night I made dinner for my fabulous friend karen. after that I boiled the sweet potatoes and started to make my great grandmother's pumpkin pie. it was kind of scary as I was using whole wheat flour instead of the gold medal stuff, but it all came out okay. :)

and here are my kitty cats, helping me roll out the dough.



we narrowly missed an even cuter picture, which would've been taken just a few seconds before but gobi wasn't up for having his cuteness captured. right before this his little front paws were on top of the cabinet to my right. he stayed there for a good minute and a half, just stretching and looking at me and talking to me while I worked. he does that sometimes, just meows and meows.

I can't believe I've had him for six and a half years. such a helpful kitten. helps me study, helps me sleep, helps me cook. :)

ps: excuse the mess. that's cooking/haven't cleaned/more cooking/I like to leave things on the counter. ha!

fantabulously frugal

is having a giveaway. a rockin' giveaway. I LOVE it that they are featuring burt's bees and yes to carrots products--I read about yes to carrots in this month's body and soul and TOO COOL.

anyway, it's an AWESOME giveaway. go enter. tell them I sent you, pretty please :)

so it's not like I can really take credit for this...

but I bet i was a part of the team effort. :)

in early October I filled out a comment card and dropped it at the airport in altanta. I told them their airport was very nice and all, and that I appreciated that there were lots of shops and food places, but that I thought it a shame that they had ZERO recycling bins.

this time around I saw this :) if you can't see--you trash, they sort, it's recycled!




-post from my iphone!

i'm probably going to regret writing this

as my blog is a very public forum, BUT sometimes I just need perspective, and that's what i'm hoping to gain here.

I guess that the past, oh, 29 years few years I've felt like I give and I give and I give to someone. and occasionally she gives back, or tries, but...

I guess I just don't know how to handle giving and giving and trying to do the right thing and trying to be positive and then hearing some of the things she says. today? today it was that she'd given away something I'd given to her--and of course, as life would have it, it was something that I gave to her so "we'd both have one" because I knew she'd like it that we both had the same thing.

and then she gives it away.

and it's not the physical item that's such a big deal--but it's like, okay so I've been to oklahoma 3 times already this year. I'm going again in december, right? but not for the holidays. nope, just for a weekend. 'cause I've been THREE TIMES THIS YEAR. three times since JULY.

and I'm going again in three and a half weeks.

and you know what I'm getting? SHIT. (as in lip, not as in nothing) I'm getting a lot of boo-hooing that Matt and I aren't coming for Thanksgiving, and that we aren't coming for Christmas either.

from someone who has NEVER visited me. (I have yet to have a blood relative visit me here. even the one who used to live an hour and a half away. I have lived in North Carolina for six years and five months. and not ONCE. yet I get sh*t)

and though I am ABSOLUTELY throwing a little pity party over here, I'm also like "do other 'adults' have this problem? do their families visit them when they move far, far away? do you get lip about how frequently you do/don't go home? do you always pay for it?"

I have tried explaining that I am not made of money.
I have tried explaining that $300*2 tickets + car rental + eating out adds up REALLY fast.
I have tried saying I'll go solo. That isn't good enough.
I have tried to be reassuring saying "we're visiting in december, I promise!"

and then today, to get a text saying that the little actually-basically-worthless but still sentimental tiny trinket had been given away...well...it's just more than I can handle.

and I should say, for the record: this is mostly a beef with my sister--who, thankfully, does not read this blog. occasionally my brothers or my mother or my granny gives me a hard time, but I get this the VERY most from my sister. everyone else seems to *get* it. and, none of them can really travel here, not realistically. be it money or anxiety or lack of having-their-shit-together-ness, it's not really something that could happen, exactly. and I know and recognize that. but you would think that if *I* have come to that realization (and have pointed it out to ALL of them, mind you) then it wouldn't be like it is.

and, I should also say, Tulsa has a special place in my heart and I enjoy visiting it, (though I understand why some don't love it) BUT I don't want to spend, oh, a couple of mortgage payments a year going there. there are other places to go and people to see and things to do. and I have NEVER gone so many times in a 6-month span, and yet...still getting shit. le sigh.

anyway. things are okay. I'm okay. I've just lost all semblance of patience or pity, I guess. and I've had it.

i follow my officiant on tw!tter.

no, really. I do. we're also facebook friends. I'm not joking. and it seems juuuuuust a little strange to me, but at the same time I think it's a whole new level of awesome. :)

also, I think I am going to invest in some kleenex. because NO ONE warned me that sappy-sap-sappy Carrie would need them.

I mean, okay, so there were no waterworks when Matt proposed (teared up a little, but no tears fell!), but since then, I have cried or teared up when:

-I realized that yesterday, when we'd been engaged a month, I wore the same sweater I was wearing when Matt proposed. not on purpose.

-I was told that Rosemary and her bestgoodfriend Nancy wanted to throw me a bridal shower over Christmas (it is so sweet. and thoughtful. and overwhelming. and I had totally failed to think about the gift part until Matt mentioned that!)

-when I was looking at yellow and green items yesterday and found some I knew would be adorable (except now I have to find them "green")

-when my photographer, Nicole, sent me a picture of a wedding she'd taken to give me an example for an idea I had

-and just now, at my desk, because my officiant sent me an example of his "typical" wedding ceremony.

sometimes I tear up when my shiny sparkly ring catches my eye. sometimes it's because I look at Matt and I realize I am, in a way that is not weird, really looking forward to seeing how his blue eyes still sparkle when his hair is all salt-and-pepper gray. yesterday I got teary because I typed "crf" and meant "capital recovery factor" but realized that that's what I'll use for my initials. (even if/when I hypenate!)

tears, tears, tears. 90% happy tears. 10% overwhelmed/omg/wow tears. but both are the smiling-all-the-while tears.

and this? it's fantastic. :) and I am wholly unapologetic for the sap, so there, ha!

"who will be the feet?"

Maria always makes me think.

this time, it's about activism and being humble. and how to do one and still be the other.

for me, I think this issue is most obvious when I talk about being green. because, well, I'm a greenie, and I think it's just plain illogical to choose not to be mindful of the resources you use every single day. I mean, I don't expect everyone to buy into home composters, but most of it I just can't even fathom how someone would be opposed to that change. And I definitely don't get it when people throw empty cans and bottles in the trash, or let the water run while they brush their teeth. Like, I have a really, really hard time wrapping my head around that.

however.

just because I can't wrap my head around it doesn't mean that from the other side of the fence, I don't seem just as illogical to someone else. I mean, we don't flush our toilets very often. We collect the water in our shower. our little patio is overflowing with plants. I am borderline obsessive about how much soap I use and having reusable bags and yeah. a little nuts.

but I think it's totally possible to promote a cause without being arrogant. I am not a better human being because I am green. better for the earth, you could argue, but certainly not a better human being. not in life. if we found out that mother teresa threw away something instead of recycling it, would we think her any less valuable to humanity? I'm gonna go with a no here....

I guess what I'm getting at is--I try to encourage others to be green, not tell. I try to explain, not insist. And I try to inform, not preach. And I try to be positive, not judgemental.

do I sometimes fail at this? YES. ABSOLUTELY. but I try. I try to remember that it is a choice, that it doesn't make someone better than someone else. I try to suggest and educate, not stuff it down throats. I try to remember that people will have to make sacrifices, and they will have to be more humble themselves in order to make changes. and if I'm not humble that won't be happening, you know?

so. that is how I try to advocate but do so with humility.

thanks, Maria, for making me think about this--it's always good to examine your behavior and make sure what you're doing is what you really want to be doing, you know? :)

oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, so for halloween...

Matt and I went as this guy. He has a new album!!!



can't you see the resemblance?

:D

we also figured out how to play a new version of the game "quarters"--which involved someone guessing heads or tails and us spinning and depending on where we stopped, they had to drink!

I wonder if I'll still have hair when I get married...

because lately quite a few things make me want to yank it out!

I had the following convo last night (abridged)

me: let's compromise. you wear a dress until the end of dinner, then you can change into whatever you're comfy in.

her: okay, but only if it's floor-length stretch-velvet.

me: uhh...it's gonna be april, honey. we'll find you something that's comfy. and you can wear flats!

her: I can't believe you'd ask me to wear a dress!!! you are stressing me out! you are asking me to stand in front of people!!!!

me: um, it's what girls wear in weddings. especially if they're in the wedding party. but, and I don't mean this meanly, if it is going to stress you our and make you anxious, you don't have to be in the wedding party. I will love you just as much if you are in it or not in it. Do what will make you happy.

her: but you WANT me in the party, right?

me: yes, but not if it is going to stress you out.

her: well I'm only doing this 'cause you want me to and it IS stressing me out.

me: well, then tell me you want out and it's no big deal, I still will want you there, okay? just do what you're comfy with.

her: [thinking] hey...I know! I could buy a green tuxedo...I'd even pay for it myself. it would go with the colors and be dressy and I could wear pan or wear what the guys are wearing? ties and all?

me: (trying not to laugh) we're not having a wear-a-tuxedo kind of wedding. and you can't dress like a boy. let's try to find you something comfy.

her: but it has to be floor length, I am SO PALE.
[pause]

me: I am your identical twin and I am allergic to the sun. I will be fair as fair can be. I'll ask people not to tan, okay? It'll be April, it'll be FINE.

her: okay but I'm not wearing heels.

me: I said you could wear flats...

her: I AM NOT WEARING HEELS. I will wear tennis shoes. I can't walk in flats.
me: flats are like ballet slippers. just try them, okay???

her: FINE. but I am NOT wearing makeup.

etc. she also refuses to get her hair done.

next up: and y'all KNOW I love my Granny, but I was told:
a) it is STUPID (not her word. I think foolish or inconsiderate or impractical) that you are getting married in April.
b) you are being selfish. you are interfering with Harvey's high school graduation. Harvey graduates at the end of May people. SIX WEEKS LATER.
c) I think you shouldn't get married on a wednesday (we nixed that idea already)
d) I think you should get married in January. Like, the 2nd or 3rd weekend. If you don't, please refer to letter A.

yeaaaaaaaaah.

and THEN there are the people who keep bringing up my first wedding/husband. OH. MY. GOD. Please please, pleasepleasepleasePLEASE. Justin is a nice human being. I wish him well. And yes, I talk to him occasionally, and we are both very happy. But FOR THE LOVE. When someone is talking about their impending nuptuals it is just BAD FORM to bring up their first marriage. With things like "well, when you got married the first time..." or "you're having a big fancy wedding like your first one, right?" Or "do you regret that you've done this before and he's doing all this for the first time?" Or "I think Matt is so much better for you than Justin was."

You do not have to compare Matt to Justin to express how much you like Matt, or Matt and me together.

And while it is occasionally an entirely appropriate thing to mention, overall, you should drop it like it's hot. fo rizzle.

[And FYI: no I do not regret getting married. No, we were not young and stupid. Do I wish I would've been willing to move here with him and not be married. YES. But ultimately? If it weren't for Justin I bet I never would've come to North Carolina. I would probably be in Oklahoma or Texas, working in a job I didn't like, without all these friends and experiences and support and my photography. And I'm actually kind of glad too because I have the freedom to do whatever Matt and I want instead of fulfilling the vicarious needs of someone else. ahem.]

And last but very-not-least. The topic o' the name change.

Matt says that as long as our kids take his last name, and he doesn't have to change his, we're good to go. What I do with my name is my business. I wholeheartedly agree. I respect that some people have other opinions, but we are entitled to our own.

I have definitely asked some people to offer their thoughts--because I'm a fan of opinions. But I have also gotten "you aren't gonna keep Rich@rdson are you?" (said with disdain) or "you're changing to FRY?" Or "why would you hyphenate" or all sorts of other input. All said with a tone of "I can't believe you'd even think about that!"

and to that I say: bah, humbug.

as of today: I'm gonna be Rich@rds0n-Fry. Matt is excited about calling me CRRF (the sounds, not the letters!) He also suggested I become Frichardson. ;) Some days I say I'll stay Rich@rds0n. Some I think I'll say Fry. Some days I think I'll have two middle names. Logic tells me to put Fry in there somewhere to make things easier with kids. But if I didn't? Uh, yeah. I'm not going to be the first woman whose children have a different last name than she does. I mean, my MOTHER has had a different last name than mine since I was 5. It's gonna be okay.

and it's not that I mind opinions. I welcome them. It is the judging. And the disdain.

On the plus side: I am thankful that the judging and disdain is coming from people who AREN'T my fiance. :)

SUMMARY INCASE YOU DIDN'T FEEL LIKE READING ALL OF THIS: We are trying to be pretty go-with-the-flow and low-stress, and I'm really glad about that, but other people are stressing me out! The end.

taking a mini-hiatus...

oh, no, not from blogging (although it may seem like that's just what I've been doing, ha!)

but seriously, I think I'm going to take a mini-hiatus from wedding plans. until, like, two weeks from now.

I mean, I have been engaged for, let's see...24 days. and we already have

-a date
-a theme (which, by the way, is BEER!)
-a color scheme
-a location (ps the barn was NOT $750, I wish! prices have raised, but still reasonable-ish! especially since we can bring in our own alcohol)
-our drink plans (ps we'll be serving all Marshall! And, um, maybe Boulevard because I love it so much. and probably wine. NO liquor)
-a florist --they do flowers too. they did this wedding--Jan is Syd's mom!
-a photographer
-someone to marry us
-a plan for the save-the-dates (which matt has graciously agreed to take over)
-ideas for centerpieces
-all of the clothing concepts (but of course not the actual clothing!)
-many resources for items: paper lanterns, candles, ribbon
-and I think I'm going ask Harvo to play his bass at the ceremony, so that might take care of music!

soooooo...I think I'm going to take a break. Between wedding planning, photography, work and school I've been pulling some laaaaaate nights. so it's time for a siesta!

halloweeeeeeeen!

this was one of those weekends where very little went as planned and that ended up being kind of fantastic. :)

friday night: supposed to be a night in with Matt. Instead we went to The Mill and hung out with Taylor, Adam, Kristin, Katie and Jenny. We stayed out quite a bit later than we had planned, got stuck in traffic and got home very late, but had a wonderful time.

and, and, and--after talking with the gals that night Matt and I made a huge decision--we booked the BARN! It is going to be GORGEOUS, the proceeds go to charity and I am really excited. Now cross your fingers for not-rainy weather!!

saturday: my 930 am session got canceled due to weather, and I got to go back to sleep :)
my 1130 engagement session happened though, and so did my 100 newborn session. I REALLY enjoyed them both!

after that I took a quick nap, Matt and I made our costumes and we made our way to dinner. we went to brio and celebrated our engagement with two of Matt's best friends and their awesome significant others. The food was SO good, and I'd been looking forward to going there after hearing Lara rave about it. :) And it did not disappoint!!

see: aren't we adorable?

next was getting ready for The Faby's costume party. For Matt and me, this took approximately one minute, total. and that included folding our clothes. Not to brag or anything, but though I felt a little lame at first as everyone was getting into their elaborate getups, about ten minutes later we were feeling pretty proud of ourselves...we were in clothes with pockets, had full use of both our hands, could use the bathroom without any additional costume-induced effort AND we were comfortable!

so, here are our costumes. can you tell what we are? two hints: remember I like things that are punny, and yes, we are quarters, but no, the name of the costume doesn't end there. and if you already know, don't tell, let someone else guess! :)

ps: look in the upper right of those photos--yep, that's a picture I took and Katie bought from me :)

the faby's party was FUN. not that that's surprising--their parties are always crazy and a blast! I only took a handful of pictures on my camera! We stayed WAY LATE again, which led to this: yes, that's Matt pouring liquor into a decorative skull (sorry, Nicole!) And Bam-Bam (aka Cam) getting ready to drink from it. The boys decided between the four of them they'd polish off this--and then the skull got involved, so I went upstairs to hang with Nicole instead of be a witness to their craziness, ha!

and sunday I had church, then two more rained out sessions, and instead got to have lunch with the same people from Friday night, took a nap and worked on homework and work-work.

the end. :)