de-lurking and undoing some of my buckle-of-the-bible-belt upbringing.

so, first off, it's national de-lurking week. which means that You, yeah, YOU should comment. quit the lurking already, k? the bloggage needs some love. and thanks to my regular commenters for being--well--regular commenters. :)

secondly.
a preface: potentially unnecessary, but probably better safe than sorry. For the record, I am very much a Christian. A Methodist, in fact, and a liberal one at that. And now that we have this established...if this offends you (anonymous from kat's blog, perhaps?) or you don't like it, that's cool too. But know that I'm not saying this to piss you off. I'm saying it because I, personally, find it ridiculous. However, should you agree with this, then that's cool, and rest assured that I'm not going to think that you, as a person, are ridiculous just for agreeing. However, I make no promises about politely mocking your way of thinking. :)

or maybe that was much ado about nothing.

So, Saturday night I went to a party at my friend Paul's house. There was rum punch and munchies and a bonfire--good stuff. And something got us to talking about values, and sex before marriage. I think it started out with someone talking about a couple who were living together, and who had sex, and who were getting married, and three months before getting married the wife-to-be decided they should wait to have sex again until the wedding night. right. a little odd, imho, but still, fine, whatever.

Of course, this made me think of being a buckle-of-the-bible-belter, and just have to tell a story about my formative years. I explained that I've had to undo a lot of the conservative, close-minded concepts drilled into me as a youth.

It is okay to drink beer/wine/liquor.
It is okay to not want babies (though I do some day, I'm just sayin').
It is okay to think that maybe Buddhists and Jews aren't going to hell (if there is a hell), even though they don't believe in Jesus.
It is okay to have friends who aren't Christians.
Just because someone thinks abortion/gay marriage/female preachers (in some denominations) are okay doesn't mean they're a bad person.
and it is (sometimes) okay to have sex before marriage.

now, before anyone gets their Savior-Loving panties in a bunch, let me tell you that in my head there are A LOT of things to take into consideration for that last one, and I still think it's a good thing to teach for like eleventy billion reasons. but I'm straying waaaay far away from my point here. getting back on track...

So I told a story about my experiences at Camp Egan's Dayspring East Senior High Camp. Now, I LOVED Dayspring. Incredible spiritual experience. Life-changing discussions. And although there were a few others that rubbed me the wrong way, one of them took the cake. And that's what I told people about on Saturday, a concept I had to undo, though I must admit I found it bothersome from the start.

One day at camp we were given the option of signing up for a women's-only and a men's-only session about relationships. It seemed like the thing to do was to go to it, so I did. And wow. Just wow. Some of it had to do with specifics--was it okay to hug/hold hands/kiss/neck/make out/grope? Did you need to leave room for the Holy Spirit while dancing? (we, as Methodists, could dance, dontchaknow?) And what exactly, praytell, did you need to wait to do until you were married?

This class was lead by a married woman, with a few other female leaders there for direction and assistance, and then men's class was taught by her husband.

Finally, the woman got around to talking about sex. She explained that it was for a man and wife, and was a beautiful thing. This is all fine. Fine, fine. She said that God gave us the gift of sex and made it pleasurable, and that we were meant to enjoy it. And that we should be thankful for it, and thank God for the joy it brings us. Perhaps stretching it a teensy weensy bit, but still okay.

But then she went on, and said that after you are married, on your wedding night, when you plan to be together, you should place an empty chair by your bed, and Invite. Jesus. To. Be. With. You. Like, in the room, with you. Like while you're having sex, WITH you.

what???????
wait, what??????

yes, that's right, conservative-bording-on-crazy but also-very-nice lady just told me that I should put an extra chair in my bedroom expressly for the purpose of asking Jesus to sit in it and watch and share in the specialness. She even said that this should be a regular thing? Wait, huh?!?

I mean, I know that "His eye is on the sparrow," and "I know He watches me," but what?!? I invite Jesus into my home, and into my heart and into my life, and I love Him and I believe in Him and I know that God created the universe, and I have Faith, and I DO. But this? This?!? It just seems crazy to me. Like, seriously mentally lacking in correctness. Yikes.

I do believe that this one moment is likely what began the process of me becoming A LOT more liberal and open-minded. And I, for one, am terribly terribly thankful for it. I judge less, and I accept more, and that's gotta be a good thing. But I don't think I will ever forget the instant itself, as I tried desperately to not be a codfish, exposing my shock at the concept of asking Jesus to watch and share as I got busy with it.

perhaps there's another perspective on this, and I'd be glad to hear it if you've got it. but right now? [picture me moving my pointer in a circle near my ear--making the international sign for crazy]

thing is, sometimes I still can't let go of this concept. there's a part of me that feels almost programmed with conservatism, like it's wired in my circuits and there's still a residual. it's mostly gone, but sometimes it still creeps in, and I'll have a reaction, and then have to un-think it 'cause I know I don't think like that any more. but I can't help it! 'cause as we've known for quite some time, you can take the girl out of oklahoma, but you can't take the oklahoma out of the girl.