the thoughts in my head...

viva italia!

in 24 days I will be embarking upon what I hope will be the most amazing trip of my life to date. don't get me wrong, the engage-a-cation was incredible, and I saw the first view that literally rendered me unable to speak, and it was so.much.fun--BUT....it is no Italy. Today I am thinking about walking around Monterosso al Mare and seeing the Roman Forum. I keep thinking about the Via Appia and Romulus and Remus and the Tiber River.

and in a very strange way, part of me wants to not bring my camera all. to just drink it all in with my eyes and hear the sounds and smell the scents. logical carrie knows that I'd cry and cry and cry if I didn't have my camera. perhaps I'll just need to be careful that I don't constantly have my camera connected to my face. :)

loss

today I have received word of two friends of mine who are experiencing losses--one of a grandparent, the other of a dear friend who was fighting breast cancer. this gal was diagnosed when she was 24 and has been fighting for two years.

while talking about it with another friend, via text, she mentioned that she just hadn't had too much experience with death. which made me realize that, sadly, I have. since stacey in the third grade. two grandparents, two aunts, my dad, other relatives, close friend's parents and relatives, cousins, even a softball team member. it makes my heart heavy to think of it.

how my life might be different a year from now.

I've been contacted for an august 2012 wedding. I'm not sure if she wants one shooter or two, yet. But then I though about the potential factors that I just don't have to consider yet that I might then. What if we're pregnant? What if we have a little bitty baby? Will we live in a house or will we still be in a townhouse? Will I still be working full time? What, if, when, how, why?

crazy...

why am I suddenly very interested in cooking everything random under the sun?

right now I'd like to make homemade marshmallows, graham crackers, my pizza from scratch, fried chicken, a lemon meringue pie, beer rolls, brew more of our own beer (yes, we brewed our own!) and perhaps also make my own chips or crackers or something on which I can spread cheese. oh yeah, and make some chevre or another soft cheese. jennifer and I successfully made mozzarella (pictures soon, I promise!) and I am SO proud of us for that, although we do need to hone our technique. and I did make cadbury creme egg brownies, too. I guess I'm all for new, strange recipes.

along that line, I want to redecorate my entire house.

okay, only sort of. I want to repaint the kitchen in a muted color (which isn't totally crazy since we're considering considering (yes, that double word was intentional) putting our home on the market). I want to go with a pretty paler muted yellow. That whole yellow-kitchens-catch-on-fire-thing be damned. Remove the bright yellow and orange and get a muted yellow. We shall see. And I want to paint our living room in a muted version of the spinach color we used. the littlest green wall in this post.

hair.

I'm slowly taking my hair to a color that's less red and more brown. these new vitamins are making it grow like a weed! and in the process I *think* I'm growing it longer. Like, put-in-a-bun-or-braid longer. It'll go in a teeny tiny ponytail now. we shall see. opinions appreciated. unless your opinion is "dye it blonde again." if that's the case, please kindly keep your thoughts to yourself :) No offense to you blondes out there! Y'see,I was a blonde-blonde for some of the worst moments of my life, AND I learned that people are not always very respectful of blondes in the engineering-type-workplace (or at least that they're less disrespectful to brunettes and redheads, ha!) so I am going to stay far away from blonde. Plus, it washes me out. :)

fry family vacay, 2011

highlights of the trip (in no particular order!):

1. meeting little alexis rose, the newest of my nieces.

2. getting to see katlyn's personality and finding out how awesome it is. she is such a precious little girl.

3. a billion hugs and kisses from bridget, who made us this ADORABLE sign saying she loved us(I think we'll be framing it) and who told aunt tonya that it's totally okay that bridget loves matt & me just a liiiiiittle bit more than any of her other aunts and uncles because matt and I gave her the really important job of being a flower girl in our wedding. (nevermind that is wasn't possible for anyone else to do that!)

4. french braiding katlyn and bridget's hair. and then tonya's. and then mine :)

5. seeing these wonderful folks that I got as family 'cause I put up will silly old Matt. ha! okay, well, they've always treated me like family (and I LOVE them for that) but it just makes my heart feel good to know that being a part of it is officially official. AND when the people called from the front desk and asked for "Mrs. Fry" I got to say "well, technically I'm one of them, but there are two others, and I think you want one of them."

6. playing outside with bridget and katlyn. pushing them on the swing, taking pictures of them playing and getting lots of hugs.

7. (this is possibly the most amazing part of all) successfully going to the beach for half an hour. I wore my spf50 cover-up the WHOLE time, and I put on spf110 sunblock (which does make a difference if you've got a complexion & allergy like mine!) and I wore my hat. But I actually helped build a sandcastle and somehow did not actually burn! WOOHOO!

ahem.

anyway, let's see some pictures, shall we?


love them. all of them. we missed trevor, but otherwise everyone was there, and it was splendidly splendid. :) I'm already looking forward to seeing many of these wonderful people at Christmas!

"she moves in such a way, I still fall in love with her every single day"

~sk6ers

We danced to that song in the kitchen last night for our anniversary. And we drank spumante from hillside winery, which we visited on our honeymoon. And we ate little cupcakes, too.

We went to eat at a local fancy-schmancy mexican restaurant, M3z (that 3 is an e!) and I love it. They have this unreal corn soup that I would gladly eat every day of my life. And delicious everything. And and and--on our reservation on 0pen t@ble, I noted that it was our anniversary. THREE of their staff members wished us happy anniversary and they brought us complimentary champagne! Super-full glasses, even. And when I asked the name of the champagne ('cause I liked it!) they actually brought us more--one of the mini-bottles that was about half full because it wouldn't fit in our glasses. It wasn't super-ritzy of course, but it was totally unnecessary and very generous of them!


After that, we drove to see if Mad Hatter's was open, but alas, no. So we got cupcakes at Whole Foods, and headed home. That's when we had the spumante, danced, ate the cupcakes and watched a show. Can you guess what it is? A hint: we watched it on the night we got engaged, on our honeymoon and when we got back to town after we got married. Second hint: it's in its last season. Third hint: it airs on fridays. :)


Please pardon the photos. I heart my iphone, but sometimes its picture quality is only so-so.

Oh and last but not least--the gifts :) I did three things for Matt, all written on pieces of paper. 1. I'm taking him to a movie on Saturday (he loves movies only slightly less than he loves soccer, which is only slightly less than he loves me. I call soccer his mistress.), 2. a new, nice watch ('cause the modern gift is clocks!) and 3. the very best one--I designed our wedding album! Okay, honestly I'm only through the ceremony, but I'm getting there and I'll be finishing it up this week!

And Matt? He knew all about the paper/clocks thing, but totally disregarded it because he wanted this first anniversary to be extra-special. He bought me something I've wanted for a long time--diamond earrings. He says there was tissue paper in the bag, so that counts! :) I was VERY surprised and totally impressed :) And I like that many moons from now I can tell people how my husband got them for me for our first wedding anniversary!

More about the weekend soon (yes, there's more!) but I had to share this today. Matt's definitely a keeper. :)

this time, a year ago....

I was on my way to Oklahoma. For our wedding.

And here we are, 361ish days later...and it has gone by so very, very fast.

For your first anniversary, the customary "traditional" gift is paper. And since it mimics the gift I got him a while ago that he loved so very, very much, I think I'm going to get him (slash us) a wedding album. We don't have one yet. (sidebar--the album I gave him for our two years of dating-iversary is his very favorite present I've ever given him, according to the questions fabulous renee and jessica asked before my bachelorette)

So, since he's out of town this weekend (and yes, that probably makes me the very most awesome wife in the universe for permitting my husband to go on a boy's trip the weekend of our first anniversary) I figure that's a splendid time for me to design it.

I have the photos and the design all picked out. I just have to DO it. But I think it will be a gift that he will love! Sadly, I won't be giving him the printed version on Sunday. I thought about it, but then decided that if I am shelling out for one of those really nice albums, then I need to let him see it before it goes to press.

I'm also thinking about getting him movie tickets for Friday night. Maybe for a late show, so I can go get a tattoo beforehand. Well, I *think* I'm getting a tattoo beforehand. I know I want a little little sunflower. What I don't know for sure is where...

I am seriously considering getting it on my left side, right below where my bra sits. Alternatively, I'm also thinking about above the elbow on the inside of my left arm. I want it to be somewhere that I can cover pretty easily, and I don't want it to show when I wear dresses or tank tops. And in case you just did the math--I only get tattoos on Good Friday. It's a thing. Good Friday 2003 and Good Friday 2007. And since I like odd numbers, perhaps it's fitting that I might get my final tattoo on Good Friday 2011.

ps: it is kind of hilarious to me when people look all shocked and amazed when they see my little nautilus shell poking out of my flat and say "you have a TATTOO????!?" I enjoy saying "yes, two." and I think I'll get an even bigger kick out of saying "yes, three!"

any suggestions? and any other ideas to add to the anniversary gift?

when I grow up.

little girl Carrie would have told you that she wanted to be a lawyer or an artist or a scientist when she grew up. She would have imagined a house with lots of rooms, pretty (but not fancy) things, a handsome husband, kitty cats, kiddos and a fruit bowl on the table. She would have told me I'd have lots of nice friends, that I'd go to church and that I would think bagels, fried chicken w/ mashed potatoes and corn and pumpkin pie were there best foods ever. And she would have told you that you should be nice to the world, nice to each other and that nothing was better than beating someone at Scrabble.

I suppose, to seven year old-ish me, I am all of those things. Not yet a mother (y'all know bring pregnant in Italy is soooooo off the table), but to her, I think I am, as my neighbor would say, "livin' the dream."

And it's funny because, well, I think I am. I was talking to my Granny last night (you know this can either be amazing or a total disaster ending in tears and super-analyzing a conversation, yes) and we ended up talking about money. About not spending $250/night on a hotel room in Italy because it was foolish, and because I'm not taking the kind of vacation where you spend money like that. We talked a little about how wealth is all in your mindset--Matt and I have plenty. We pay the bills every month, we have some savings, we indulge and scrimp depending on the time, and we though sometimes we fail at this, we try not to complain about our lot in life. Because, well, we've got it good.

But it also got me thinking about how little Carrie would be blown away by my paycheck today, and how I should remember to be thankful even when I'm not feeling so thankful. When my stepdad was the breadwinner for six people, he made less money per year, after having worked for decades, than I got at my first job out of college. And although I vividly remember crying hysterically when my mom couldn't buy the beautiful box set of prang art supplies, and I often loaned my parents my babysitting savings the three or four days before his next paycheck came in, I never felt like I was lacking. We always had the air conditioning on somewhere in the house (usually in the living room only), and we didn't have central heat until I was in high school, but some days I secretly hope our next house has floor vents, only so I can stand over them to warm up.

Anyway, this all brings me to the title of the post...because I don't feel like a grown up. I mean, yeah, I pay for my financial obligations and dental work and clothe and feed myself and all--but I don't feel like a grown up. I look at other people who are in their early/mid thirties and some of them I totally regard as a grown up, and some of them I don't. And I can't quite put my finger on it--I mean, mom jeans are totally a tell--but barring that, what makes one 30 year-old a grown up and the other not?

Maybe one day I'll wake up and feel like a grown up. Maybe I need a yard or a baby or a promotion or to not be in a workstation. Maybe it's something else. Maybe I'll never feel like a grown up (and in a way, how wonderful might that be?). I'll keep you posted. :)

Anyone else feel this way? Or have they had the moment that made them realize they were a grown up? And I'm not talking about too loud of music or whatever--that's just getting older, ha!