the thoughts in my head...

viva italia!

in 24 days I will be embarking upon what I hope will be the most amazing trip of my life to date. don't get me wrong, the engage-a-cation was incredible, and I saw the first view that literally rendered me unable to speak, and it was so.much.fun--BUT....it is no Italy. Today I am thinking about walking around Monterosso al Mare and seeing the Roman Forum. I keep thinking about the Via Appia and Romulus and Remus and the Tiber River.

and in a very strange way, part of me wants to not bring my camera all. to just drink it all in with my eyes and hear the sounds and smell the scents. logical carrie knows that I'd cry and cry and cry if I didn't have my camera. perhaps I'll just need to be careful that I don't constantly have my camera connected to my face. :)

loss

today I have received word of two friends of mine who are experiencing losses--one of a grandparent, the other of a dear friend who was fighting breast cancer. this gal was diagnosed when she was 24 and has been fighting for two years.

while talking about it with another friend, via text, she mentioned that she just hadn't had too much experience with death. which made me realize that, sadly, I have. since stacey in the third grade. two grandparents, two aunts, my dad, other relatives, close friend's parents and relatives, cousins, even a softball team member. it makes my heart heavy to think of it.

how my life might be different a year from now.

I've been contacted for an august 2012 wedding. I'm not sure if she wants one shooter or two, yet. But then I though about the potential factors that I just don't have to consider yet that I might then. What if we're pregnant? What if we have a little bitty baby? Will we live in a house or will we still be in a townhouse? Will I still be working full time? What, if, when, how, why?

crazy...

why am I suddenly very interested in cooking everything random under the sun?

right now I'd like to make homemade marshmallows, graham crackers, my pizza from scratch, fried chicken, a lemon meringue pie, beer rolls, brew more of our own beer (yes, we brewed our own!) and perhaps also make my own chips or crackers or something on which I can spread cheese. oh yeah, and make some chevre or another soft cheese. jennifer and I successfully made mozzarella (pictures soon, I promise!) and I am SO proud of us for that, although we do need to hone our technique. and I did make cadbury creme egg brownies, too. I guess I'm all for new, strange recipes.

along that line, I want to redecorate my entire house.

okay, only sort of. I want to repaint the kitchen in a muted color (which isn't totally crazy since we're considering considering (yes, that double word was intentional) putting our home on the market). I want to go with a pretty paler muted yellow. That whole yellow-kitchens-catch-on-fire-thing be damned. Remove the bright yellow and orange and get a muted yellow. We shall see. And I want to paint our living room in a muted version of the spinach color we used. the littlest green wall in this post.

hair.

I'm slowly taking my hair to a color that's less red and more brown. these new vitamins are making it grow like a weed! and in the process I *think* I'm growing it longer. Like, put-in-a-bun-or-braid longer. It'll go in a teeny tiny ponytail now. we shall see. opinions appreciated. unless your opinion is "dye it blonde again." if that's the case, please kindly keep your thoughts to yourself :) No offense to you blondes out there! Y'see,I was a blonde-blonde for some of the worst moments of my life, AND I learned that people are not always very respectful of blondes in the engineering-type-workplace (or at least that they're less disrespectful to brunettes and redheads, ha!) so I am going to stay far away from blonde. Plus, it washes me out. :)