Thursday, October 21, 2010

this isn't the first (or the last) time I'll write about baby names

I have a cousin with whom I don't really get along. Oh, I mean, we hug each other when we see one another, and when I'm in their neck of the woods we meet up for lunch or whatever. I like him as a human being. But he and I have very, very little in common.

I'm liberal. He's conservative.
I'm broad-minded, religiously speaking. He puts God in a very well-defined box.

And a long time ago there was a....let's go with incident...where he lectured me on what was "Godly" and how I might go to hell for leaving my ex-husband. How I should stick it out for 5 years, have some kids and then make it work for the sake of the children. When I said, um, "hell no" he proceeded to let me know that, well, it's not really like we were actually married anyway, according to the Catholic church, so what was I so upset about anyway?

riiiiiiiiiiiight.

I actually think he had good intentions, for the record. But when I told him how hurtful he was being, it didn't seem to matter. Additionally, that is the only time he and I have ever spoken on the phone as adults. Ever.

And on the off chance he, or his wife, or one of our relatives is reading this, well--I'm telling it like it is. It was a long time ago. There's a lot more dirty laundry I could air, but I think this encounter sums it up--he and I can co-exist just fine (and heck, sometimes even enjoy one another's company) but at the core of our respective persons, we just don't mesh.

so.

about the baby name part...as I mentioned here and here we like the name Nathaniel Jahue and Lilah something-or-other. Matt has been planning on a George IV since his brother decided not to have kiddos. And I have loved the name Cleona for probably 15 years now. Here's a post where I mentioned it in 2005.

Previously, when this cousin had a little boy, I was TERRIFIED that he would be choosing Jahue as a middle name for his son. Partially because I plan on having it as a middle name for a boy, but also because my brother Adam plans to have John Jahue J*nk the 2nd. We are just fine with one another's use of the name, by the way.

But now I am afraid that I've gotten myself in a sticky situation. My cousin's wife is pregnant with a little girl and was asking for names. I suggested Vera, which is a family name. I love that name, but it wouldn't work with Matt's last name very well. I also felt torn--do I mention Cleona and say we've staked claim because, um, hello, I'm her namesake? Or do I pretend like it doesn't exist and hope she doesn't find it in our family annals? I went with the mention and stake claim to be safe--I guess we'll see how it goes. It's just...it's just that since my cousin and I don't go together like peas and carrots, if they like the name Cleona, I'm afraid they might disregard my feelings on the matter. Or request it anyway, a'la Friends.

Another cousin of mine threw out the name Lila--and although I'd be sad to let that possibility go (because really, two second cousins named Lila is tricky.) I would be really miffed if they picked Cleona.

does anyone else worry about things like this with family names? I know my friend Renee does (her amazing 100+ year old Great Grandmother's name is Mora, and she's not the only one who wants to carry on that name!). But does anyone else?

I mean, I am SURE it will all work out. Who knows if those names will actually fit our children? Who knows if we'll even have children? Etc. But these things are running around my brain today, so I had to share....

3 comments:

Renee B. said...

oh, i totally claimed mora! granted, i claimed it in a letter to my great grandmother before she died and it just happened to be quoted in an article about her that then got circulated amongst the family....so that was handy. i also made it clear that others could use the name but that they should know that them using it name would not stop me from using it as well, so best be warned. :-) that little caveat usually keeps people from replicating.

Del said...

Yes, people think this way. Promise you.

My Grandma's name was Vera - love the name. Unfortunately Darin's brother's ex-wife's name was Vera. So that's not going to happen, first or middle!

I'd say just see how you feel when you guys are actually in the situation. You might just know at that moment!

Or, don't care! How often will they see each other?

:)

LaĆ­s Lobo said...

This is a kind of complex affirmation but, I'd only like to say that I like so much the way you write!

 
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