damn you, smallville.

on tonight's new episode Clark had a fleeting moment of life lesson-ness with his deceased father.

it was like that time in college when we watched frequency and someone said sarcastically "man, I wish I had a radio that could make MY dead father come back to life." and I cried. and then I think I locked myself in the bathroom at the KA house. and then I went to ihop at a crazy hour in the morning with turner and justin and we talked about things and life and all. because both of them felt SO BAD that I cried. and cried. and cried.

and that moment in smallville made me cry, too. more like, um, well, bawl. I'm still teary as I type this. about how if his dad could see him now, and how much his dad wishes he had a second chance, and how much his dad wishes he could be a part of his life...

because in addition to this remembrance, today marks three years since this.

oh, how I miss them both.