oh no! I think I might be a grown-up.

so, I'm in that group of twenty-somethings at my church, right? I mean, I'm sort of in the group. I basically help with the community garden and attend when I feel so inclined.

on saturday the girl who sortakinda heads it up asked me to please try to come to our meeting today because we are going to talk about the new worship service they're thinking about adding. at 930. geared toward the same group, which is pretty much the twenty-somethings without children.

now, if you know me, I am not a morning person. I would argue that a significant percentage of twenty-somethings without children would rather sleep in until 930 and get up for an 11 oclock service than wake up earlier.

couple this with that fact that our email distribution list is like fifteen people, and you have a problem. obviously they don't expect us to be the only people there, but they do want us to kind of help mold the service and they plan on catering it to us.

which is nice and all. except it's at 930 in the morning.

now, I'm sure some of you are thinking "but 930 is late!" Or "Carrie, it's just you." but I am definitely not the only one, and I'm not in the minority. Plus, they tried to start a Sunday school class (at 930) for the same group, and no one attended. And most said? Because of the time.

and yes, plenty of churches have successful 930 services. however, currently my church has like 2% of its membership in the twenty-something range. For the longest time I thought there were only FOUR of us. Yes, really. We have a HUGE number of children (~35% of our congregation is under the age of 18, and most are like 6th grade or under, I believe) and a lot of very established members who won't be attending a "contemporary" service.

so, the part where I felt like an adult?--was when I said "okay, so I have ZERO intention of being a part of a 930 service (except at Easter and Christmas since I'm already there for choir). I want to tell them I think this is a mistake, BUT...I am afraid it might be a done deal already, and they're only asking for our input about the content, not the time. also, I realize we have a space issue, and this is their attempt to rectify it."

so. I called the person in charge of our group and chit-chatted with her about it. She isn't really sure what is and isn't decided, if this is just an idea or concept or a plan or what. And she is one who agrees with me about the 930, but I already knew that.

and now, I have a call in for someone "in the know" to give me a call back about the service. If the 930 part of it is a done deal, I won't be attending the meeting tonight. I don't want to be a negative nelly, and I know that my feedback will all be negative because I believe the service will be poorly attended and will not cater to the target group. I also know that if I go, there's no way I'm keeping my mouth shut.

so: if the 930 is a done deal? I'm not going. I'm not going to be a source of negativity, and I'm also choosing not to be a part of something that I will find upsetting. (eg, if I go, even if I say I don't think it's a good idea, if the 930 happens, they will want our group to be a part of it, and then I will feel bad if I'm not supportive, blah blah. this way I can just keep away from it entirely)

anyway. this is my morning. yeesh.