i am a rockstar.

so, the title says it all. thanks for the suggestion, jax.

I got a little freaked out at the beginning--we'd checked in and i was in my hospital gown (and just my hospital gown) and all by myself, hearing the horrible noises of the construction of the next floor. while I was alone. in a curtained room. practically naked. with booties on my feet. listening to a lot of people list their allergies and hearing people talk about IVs and health histories from their respective curtain areas, and I really really wanted them to bring me matt.

which they did, once I assured them that he wasn't going to faint when I got my IV. I had the IV done without too much trouble--this nice nurse named rose did it for me. I was told I couldn't take the valium the doc had prescribed until I had the IV, which kinda defeated the purpose...but having matt there to talk to me and hold my hand made all the difference in the world.

oh and the lady likened the numbing stuff to feeling like a bee sting. which, um, is no help, as I have never been stung by a bee.

and they gave me a steroid that was icky icky icky. it made everywhere itch and burn--first my groin, but then EVERYWHERE. and then it felt like the painful part of your legs going numb/ to sleep where it's all pins and needles. I actually cried and sweet sweet matt held my hand the whole time. he's swell. and vicodin makes me mushy.

additionally, I must've told my name and birth date and doctor's name and described the procedure and told them my allergies eleven thousand million gazillion times. I mean, I am glad they're thorough, but for real. twice to the same nurse, even.

and there was an hour delay in getting started, so I ended up taking the valium anyway, especially since it meant I could drink a little water. :)

the surgery went well, and quite honestly I am doing WAY better than I could've hoped. it's the day of and I can type complete sentences, and last time three days later all I could manage to type was this...

however, I think I might've woken up a little during the removal of the breathing tube. I have a hazy recollection of someone telling me I just needed to stay still, and that it would only hurt for a second, and of having my arms strapped down. and I think maybe I cried some because I had crusty tear stains on my face.

when I finally woke up (which took waaaay longer than they expected) the nurse was kinda rude--my throat hurt and she offered me ice, which is normal. I asked for more, and then more, because it helped. and after the third time she said "you know, you can do that yourself." I had been awake for FIVE minutes, people!!! I asked if she could do it for a little while longer, and she did, but she was NOT pleased.

the only non rockstar part was in phase 2 of recovery--when I almost fainted. a very polite nurse came to help me get dressed, and once I'd gotten halfway dressed I asked if I could please go to the bathroom--I'd already been TWICE since the IV was started--and by this point three hours lated I'd had almost four liters of fluid. so we go the bathroom and I go to wash my hands, and I adjusted the gauze support thingy and started feeling faint.

I was a)on all sorts of drugs, b)walking for the first time and c)in pain. After attempting smelling salts, which totally didn't work (hello people, my nose is SWOLLEN on the inside) they got me back to my room and had me sit in the recliner, and I got some color back after a while.

there was another nurse in my area--typing into a computer and seeming like she had gigantic sandpaper-covered coated-with-itching-powder stick up her ass. she was SO annoyed that I was faint, insisting that I shouldn't've moved my dressing (despite my having gotten permission from the nice nurse) and basically chastising me. when she asked if I wanted a pain pill and I said yes, she was pissy becauseI have her a .5 number. and then upset when I asked her to please not pour my mini can of sprite into my remaining half melted ice.

I mean, what, I wanted the sprite in the can with the small opening, and NOT in a styrofoam cup full of water and ice. and I'd already been drinking from the can directly. what gives?!? she was quite pleased to see me go.

le sigh.

so now I am at home. we're experimenting with various gauze sizes and types for my drainage catcher thing, and I'm eating food and watching movies. so far Aeon Flux and Explorers. and we're trying to stay ahead of the pain so I'm waking up every four hours to take more. yeehaw. but at least it's working. and none of it has been excruciating, just mild or gross, because I've been seeing quite a bit of blood. yucko.

but the kitties have been taking good care of me, staying nearby, and matt is a fabulous nurse, who even bought me presents at the gift shop. and gave me my first card from him ever. he's not a card person, so it kinda made my day. :)

and now the meds are kicking in, and I'm getting a skosh dizzy, so your update is complete.

thanks much for the flowers, candy, texts, emails and calls. I feel loved. and it's making me feel better. :)