sometimes I really just want to write an angry letter.

there are moments in time when what you want to do as a first reaction is scream and yell and freak out. you want to get upset and stomp around and pout and be angry. and maybe punch something (or someone). I've been feeling like that a little recently. I feel my angry-o-meter rise from calm to berserk in like .31 seconds...

case(s) in point:

when hazel runs outside. did I tell you she spent a night outside earlier this week? I didn't realize she'd escaped, and it wasn't on purpose, but it kind of serves her right. I'm glad she didn't get run over though! but yeah, hazel, yikes. I basically just have to leave the door open and ignore her until she gets lonely and runs back in, or she thinks it's some kind of a game.

when people don't use their turn signals. look, we all forget them now and again. it happens, I understand. but for reals, indicate your turn. it's not hard. you have to know how to do it, else you can't get your license. and you are not so fabulous that you have the privilege of not needing to indicate your intentions while driving. grow up.

when policies are idiotic. i have a card with 0% interest that carries the bulk of my I-have-crappy teeth debt. the people are sneaky--they consider each purchase a "balance" and any payment that you make goes 80% to your higher balance and 20% to your lower, with no regard to when that balance actually has to be paid off. so in order to get them to apply the money to the balance that's due first I have to call every month, the day after I make a payment, and tell them to allocate it how I want them to. if this were your usual credit card I'd want to kiss them for being so considerate, but the whole point of this card is to help peeps who can't pay their large medical bills by allowing them to make payments. grr.

when you are allowed to deduct your medical expenses. i'm still working on the particulars, but if my calculations and the web page I checked out are right, my medical expenses have well exceeded 7.5% of my gross income. I mean, I don't own a home or anything so I don't have enough to itemize, I don't think, but the fact that my medical expenses would be eligible is kind of killing me. stupid effing teeth.

when people do not say "thank you" or "excuse me" or "bless you." that third one is less important, but still. if I open a door for you? say thanks. there's a girl in my office that doesn't do that, and it kills me. it makes me want to let the door hit her. even the person I reallyreally don't like says thanks. yeesh.

when I get paid to do the work of a maid. I'm all about the whole "it all pays the same" mentality or whatever, and I get that I've got to clean up after myself. but sometimes I feel like I'm the go-to if the lab needs cleaning. and while I get paid a lot more than a maid, I also gotta say I have a friggin' degree in chemical engineering. please let me use my brain!

when you can't get your insurance information. my company is switching insurance in january. I am having surgery eleven days later. I need to get this stuff pre-approved and find out how much it costs* and I need to do it sooner rather than later. but we aren't in the system since it doesn't go into effect until jan 1. le sigh.

however, on some happier notes...

today I got to use my brain. a co-worker came to ask me what I knew about water screws, and I learned about 'em all quick like and we were able to discuss their practicality for an application in scientific terms. it allowed me to think and surmise and postulate and I was thankful.

last night matt and I talked about shower heads, and how mine basically spits water at you, and about why that might be--about pressure and force and whatever. I'm glad he's nerdy too. and the thought really does count--'cause he's a forgetful guy, so he never managed to do it, but he'd been thinking about buying me a new shower head and saying he was going to the bathroom or whatever and secretly installing one to surprise me. it's better that he didn't, 'cause I might've been alarmed or not liked the new shower head, but it's still a nice notion. and a cute one, too.

I got to talk to Mary Alise last night. so what if it meant I didn't exercise? I cleaned, that has to count for something. but I totally miss talking to her all the time like we used to. So it was nice.

I found that my surgery will be a little cheaper * since we can still change our flexible spending account amounts. hooray for paying with tax-free money. it still doesn't make a gigantic difference, but it is going to help, and I appreciate that greatly. at this very moment, every penny I can save will be worth it, you know?

and today is thursday, and almost friday. and I am joyous. overly so, if you will.