"it's good to have you back"

~mbf, after one of the typical snarky carrie comments.

i'm feeling a little like the morton salt girl--you know, when it rains, it pours.

I'm back in NC now. It was really nice to sleep in my own bed--and Hazel in all her cuteness actually got underneath the covers, between the sheet and the blanket, to cuddle with me. It was both warm and precious, and she'd never done it before, and it made me happy.

I almost didn't come back yesterday, though. You see, I spent Sunday sick--in bed or in the bathroom--think of any gross stomach related thing and add a healthy dose of stomach cramps and pain and I think you'll get the gist. I actually moaned in pain. It was miserable. It was like the first time only slightly less intense.

If it hadn't been $286 to get another flight (I'd pricelined the first so I was kinda SOL) I might've changed it. But it was good to come home, and I started feeling a bit better starting around 10pm on Sunday, so I was able to make it back. I must've been quite a sight though--especially with how I kept running out of steam and had to sit down every six or seven gates or so. I tried to be nonchalant about it though--oh, I have to tie my shoe! I'll just sit here for a bit! my sweatshirt needs to be adjusted!--in retrospect it's amusing, a little. It sucks feeling so weak.

I'm on the upswing though. I'm eating regular-ish food, so that's good. And I got to see Matt, and that always makes me feel better. and we watched heroes, and I caught up on grey's (jackie, I teared up at the three blinks too) and desperate, so it was nice to be a couch potato.

tomorrow I go in for the abdominal ultrasound. and I talked to my doctor and now she finally agrees that it might be the gall bladder after all. and I even did something very un-carrie-like--which pained me to do it, but I'm glad I did--I emailed all of the committees/groups/things I do at church and told them how I might not be really reliable right now, that if I'm too tired or too stressed or have an "episode" I'm sorry but I won't be there. That I can't. And soon I'll be emailing other things to tell them all this too.

and if you know me at all, you know I hate hate hate not doing the things I've volunteered to do. but I'm also kind of proud of myself for admitting that I can't.

also, I think my tummy problems are both fatty food and stress related. which seems a little circular to me--if you're stressed out about things (death of a close family member, money, having an as-of-yet-unidentified medical issue, your obligations) and you're having to squeeze everything in, what are you most likely to eat? Fast. Food. which is what? say it with me people--fatty.

double grr with a side of grr sauce, table of one.
but only if the grr sauce is fat free, please.

so, for positiveness and stress relief:

-I took a stress quiz today (okay, three) and they told me I'm stressed (okay, extremely) and one of the things it said to do was make a real effort to write, yes write, about your problems. hello, excuse for blogging. :)
-money is just money. it will all be okay in the long run. really.
-i really liked having lunch with jackie on friday. It was nice to have a break from my personal reality and get to hear about the goings-on in someone else's life. I shall have to schedule fun meal dates with my friends for a mental break.
-my boyfriend is spectacular. and a total goof. y'all wouldn't believe it if I told you.
-it is wonderfully wonderful to know that just by my being there I made my granny feel better. she actually cried on the phone yesterday while telling me how much she loves me and how glad she is to have me in her life and how lucky we are to have such a close relationship. by the way, this was in the airport in atlanta during my go-seven-gates-then-sit series. seriously, I must've looked a fool. but it was worth it.
-i get to be excited about little things. like eating yogurt. and eggs and toast. and now I have a great excuse for eating sushi (it's low low low fat!)
-it is already tuesday.
-i finished another book--big fish was really good. I think I liked it better as a movie, but only because the visuals were incredible. I wish some of the stories from the book had been included though..it was heartwarming and fun read though, for sure.
-the weather is gorgeous!
-sleeping on my 500 thread count cotton sheets from overstock.com after sleeping in old not-as-nice sheets (though with an admittedly cuter/kitschier/seventies-er pattern) made me realized they were totally worth the money (and worth waiting for the good deal on, too!)
-my photo got an honorable mention in the work contest--the judge said he liked the perspective, that it would've been almost impossible to get the exposure right, and that the color was awesome. considering that it was my only 8x10, my fave of the photos I entered, and that the nature category is the most competitive, I'll take my honorable mention, thanks. :)
-IT IS MY VERY FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR!I made a list last year, but I'll have to do another one for this year. perhaps later today, should I have another negative nellie moment?