right now I feel like I'm doing some weird stuff. thinking some weird thoughts. and doing some weird things.
oh, none of 'em are that bad, per se. but the combo makes me go "hmmm...?"
like, what, exactly, is going on in carrie's life, eh?
I'm sure at some point you've all seen the illustration of filling a jar with lots of little different sized rocks. and y'know, at first they just pile 'em in there all willy-nilly, and they don't all fit. so then you start over, and you find if you make room for all the big rocks first, then it's a lot easier to find a place for the little rocks, too. and there aren't all these unsightly gaps and holes that you wish were filled but you can't make fit. It's about priorities.
I feel like very recently mine have been shaken up. And somebody erased all of the labels. And now I'm looking all over again at what actually matters to me. This process has brought me to one conclusion though...The Grates are soooooo right. Science Is Golden. Particularly definitions 3, 4, 5 and 6. At least for me. I'm like 80% sure I'm not gonna be a patent lawyer. I know I was all up and at 'em about it, but really? Not so sure it's for me. In addition to being frightened by the hours that I might have to work, I also realized that I keep straying from this central idea I've had the whole time--more engineering, please. pass the equations and calculations.Yesterday I finally started applying to NC State for the Spring semester. I have a project here at work that will last until some time in October, and my work ethic isn't gonna let me quit before then. Yesterday, too, I admitted to someone that I just didn't know what I wanted to be or do, not for sure. He and I talked about that for a while, and how it's so weird to be in this place in life. I told him how last month someone asked if I had to choose between having a career and having a family, which would I pick? I think I should get to have both, really. But if I had to pick, the choice is more than obvious to me. It's a weird thing to think about, but it's true. Also? Realized again how I'm an engineer and a scientist. Not a lawyer. Not a chemist. Not anything else. I need to stop contemplating a career path that just isn't me.
I've also been thinking about a lot of things. People, for one. People who matter to me. And I've gotta say, I'm a damn lucky gal. I was talking last night about how I feel like I'm parading Matt around to meet people, and I've just now put a dent in the list of people who I want him to meet!
Carrie est laeta, methinks. :)
alright, time for choir for the first time in WEEKS! and then? dinner, wine and cleaning with Mary Alise. it's odd to be excited about cleaning. if you've ever visited my home, you understand just how freaking weird it really is...
'cos science in golden, science is golden, watch your soul 'cos science is golden
0 comments:
Post a Comment