If you're taking a grad thermo test, I recommend you do as little of the following as possible. As a matter of fact, I recommend you not take grad thermo at all! A few of the "correct" portions of this test-taking exercise have been left in for your amusement.
-Eat sushi for dinner--a treat since you're taking a test.
-Arrive at test 4 minutes early due to miserable traffic.
-begin test. Resist urge to wail after scanning through the problems.
-Start on problem one. Recalling that all the problems are based on homework, look through homework for a hint how to do it. Find a problem that looks similar, only to discover that it's rather loosely affiliated, and calling this "based on homework" is like saying the Sears Tower and a port-a-potty are the same because they both have walls. Do not cry.
-Trudge through problem one for 45 minutes, stopping to sigh. Decide to give up for now and come back later since you only have 1 hour and 45 minutes left for the other three problems.
-Go to problem two, and think, hey, this looks pretty familiar. Look for homework solution.
-Look for homework solution.
-Look for homework solution.
-Look for homework solution and remember it's where you left it, sitting on your apt floor.
-Resist urge to cry.
-Inquire if you can print something, and go to the one computer lab in the building to find there's a class in there. Return to test.
-Muddle through problem making LOTS of ridiculous guesses.
-Go to problem three. Ha! that's a good one. It's now an hour and a half into the test. Keep chugging.
-Notice funny things going on with your right eye.
-Realize that the DeltaHreaction you were supposed to find is equal to zero. Try again three times, and still get zero. Put down correct units and hope for partial credit.
-Go to computer lab again in hopes of printing something, anything. Find there's still a class there. Venture in and get ignored by the prof. Completely. Leave after five minutes.
-Notice that eye thing is getting weirder--the little zig-zag shiny lines and a small blind spot.
-Sit in denial and work on the problem some more. It's one hours and forty-five minutes in.
-Realize that denial doesn't make migraines go away. Take migraine medicine that you've never tried before and hope it helps.
-Finish third problem through guessing.
-Write something on the "bonus question" hoping for partial credit. Copy the definition of surface tension right out of the book.
-Realize you have 20 minutes yet. Write furiously for problem four. Have your calculator tell you "overload" when you try to take something to the 100th power. Resist urge to cry.
-Try part two of problem four. Same as part one, pretty much. Know you could possibly have the right equations, so leave it there.
-Notice that your medicine has not yet kicked in, and your right eye is semi-useless, at least the outer half of your vision. Close your right eye and read with your left.
-Try to "review" the wrongness of your answers--owie!--that's the migraine beginning.
-9:00 PM the TA says to the two of us taking the test on campus "you two wrapping things up?" Karen laughs. I laugh. We laugh until we cry. This is a horrible horrible test. Get re-assured by TA saying "I failed this test when I took it too, it's okay." Ask if they'll have this graded by Friday, the drop date. No, really. Be told that since I'm doing average or a teensy bit better in the class, I should get a B. Well, as long as I do okay on this test...
-Realize I should have been working in angstroms squared instead of meters squared--duh! Do unit conversion. Very hard when my right eye is still not working all the way,though it is getting better.
-Check units. You've got to at least have the right units....
-9:15 PM turn in test.
-on the way to the parking lot notice my headache is now a dull one. whew! the med worked okay. Karen and I realize that we need a beer--no icecream. No beer. So we go get icecream and then beer.
sigh.
to sum up--
I left homework solutions, the basis of the test, at home.
I got a migraine.
I laughed so hard I cried during a test.
Also, I think my trigger is stress. And maybe something in sushi :(
on a brighter note, here's what Hazel did to help me study on Monday night. Check out her tongue. Kitten after my own heart...
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