Thursday, August 04, 2005

All the men/guys/males out there, listen up. Well, I mean, read up. I mean…pay attention. There we go. Anyhoo.

Flowers.
Girls like them.
They can be quite pricey.
They can be a very nice gesture, at a relatively small cost, if you do it right.

Which, apparently, most guys can’t.

Do not, under any circumstances, send:

I’m-Sorry-I-Cheated-on-You-Flowers
You-Dumped-My-Sorry-Ass-So-If-I-Send-3-Dozen-Roses-It-Will-Be-Okay-Flowers
Or any other apologetic flowers, unless you’ve already been pretty much forgiven.

It’s just a bad idea. Then those flowers get to look the girl in the face, and everyone who sees ‘em will be asking why you got flowers. It’s much better when it’s “because he was thinking of me.” Or “because I had a tough day yesterday, and he wanted today to be better.” Or “because today is my birthday/anniversary/day of my big huge test.” Any of those are fine. Otherwise, send her liquor. Or wine. Or bubble bath. Yeesh.

PS-Everything is fine with me. One of my work friends broke up with her boyfriend two days ago, and he send ‘em. Wow.

Also, now I want flowers. First day of work flowers, anyone? Semi-colon, close parenthesis… (get it?)

1 comments:

Mr. Junk said...

See, guys have a hard time knowing how to get to the "you're forgiven" stage. Girls don't come with instruction manuals, afterall. Hell, I've kinda started to date a girl once who had been totally cool with me, then she started to take EVERYTHING I said/did/didn't say/didn't do at the WORST possible connotation availible. Then, when I got sick of trying my hardest to be nice and decided to bug out, the girl goes around acting like I broke her heart. Does that make ANY sense to you? I don't get it. The REALLY awkward part is that she's a good friend of Andy's fiancee, and last I heard she was rooming with Jenn.

So note to the girls out there: if you expect a guy to change instantly whenever you want him to, don't get upset when he can't manage it quickly. We're creatures of habit, afterall...

 
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