after all the folderol...

All the men/guys/males out there, listen up. Well, I mean, read up. I mean…pay attention. There we go. Anyhoo.

Flowers.
Girls like them.
They can be quite pricey.
They can be a very nice gesture, at a relatively small cost, if you do it right.

Which, apparently, most guys can’t.

Do not, under any circumstances, send:

I’m-Sorry-I-Cheated-on-You-Flowers
You-Dumped-My-Sorry-Ass-So-If-I-Send-3-Dozen-Roses-It-Will-Be-Okay-Flowers
Or any other apologetic flowers, unless you’ve already been pretty much forgiven.

It’s just a bad idea. Then those flowers get to look the girl in the face, and everyone who sees ‘em will be asking why you got flowers. It’s much better when it’s “because he was thinking of me.” Or “because I had a tough day yesterday, and he wanted today to be better.” Or “because today is my birthday/anniversary/day of my big huge test.” Any of those are fine. Otherwise, send her liquor. Or wine. Or bubble bath. Yeesh.

PS-Everything is fine with me. One of my work friends broke up with her boyfriend two days ago, and he send ‘em. Wow.

Also, now I want flowers. First day of work flowers, anyone? Semi-colon, close parenthesis… (get it?)