sub arbore

that's where they all are in greenleaf...sub arbore.

so, the guy kept saying "the flowers of the field, the grass of the lawn, the beasts of the field an d the fowl of the air." over and over and over

when I die puh-leeze do not put me in a 20 gauge steel baby blue casket with twelve oval displays of seven birds flying on the sides. but please do remind people how I love to laugh and paint and dance and sing and that my favorite thing to do in the world is smile. and to love and feel loved. I'm so glad they reminded us that she liked to dance. I don't want to be buried, but I'd still like to be sub arbore.

My Grandma LaLa passed away late last Thursday night. She had been in the final stage of Alzheimers for nearly four years. She is in a better place now. And her mental and physical facilities have been restored. Or, if you don't believe in that kind of stuff, then you can take comfort in the fact that she's no longer suffering. It's up to you.

This has been such a weird weekend.
I flew in from Raleigh on Friday at 315, got here at 730, rented a car, picked up Anna at mommie's (and scarfed down some Mazzio's while I stopped), got Adam in Norman (and said hi to Sterling!) and drove to Dallas. I was hyped up on caffeine, damn tired and INCREDIBLY loopy. I said some silly silly stuff. Read the highway signs in a hick voice and shit. It was great, and it will haunt me forever if my brother has anything to say about it. :)

About 3AM I got a call from Justin. I had emailed him to tell him where I was and why I wouldn't be by to get stuff from our house. He was drunk. And he wanted to talk but I was too tired. And he kept sending me text messages saying how he loves me still and he wants to rekindle our relationship and shit. How he misses me and doesn't want to fight anymore. Currently we're arguing over $1100. I'm letting him keep the house for crying out loud. All I want is a consolation prize. Sheesh.

It's really really hard to keep up this facade of strength. I pity him so much. And I know he needs me. And I hate that.

Today I drive Adam and Anna home. And I'm going to go see my Wittle from KD, Ashley. Her sister was stabbed to death two days again, and the poor girl needs someone to lean on. It's awful. Cocaine is a bad bad thing.

It's time to go have a veggie-friendly breakfast now. Gotta finish packing so we can go.

I cannot wait to get to Raleigh, hole up in my room and sleep for a LOOOONG time.