things I didn't understand until I was pregnant...

baby brain.

it's real, folks. like, no joke, honest-to-goodness, for reals. if I want to do something I need to DO IT. and pronto. or else it'll never happen. I've been forgetting words. Or saying words where one syllable matches the word I want and the other doesn't. it's bizarre.

people keep telling me that your brain never comes back. I am hoping they are mistaken. My Aunt Ellen told me that it comes back but takes a long long while. I'm going to hope that's the case.

barefoot and pregnant (in the kitchen)

for whatever reason I always thought this was also a comment on social status or a comment from the 50s. or something.

um, no. not at all. do you know why they say barefoot and pregnant?? it's because your feet--they swell. they well in the kind of way where your shoes leave big ol' imprints in your feet. If you're particularly lucky like I am, those imprints hang around for a bit after they are there. it's delightful.

(oh and PS thanks for the suggestions Maria and Cassie! Cassie, I have some banana and spinach or kale pretty much daily (in my green smoothie) but I bought some bananas to eat by themselves! and Maria, my doc said no-go on the compression socks. Apparently we'd rather my feet swell than me overheat. Also, I don't have pants that are even remotely comfortable that are also work appropriate, so there's that. BUT I will keep them in mind for next time, especially if we have a baby in cooler weather)

people will look at you like you are crazy for your choices.

and it doesn't matter what they are.

I would've loved to have a home birth. there are a multitude of reasons we aren't going that route including that I tend to have the weird medical problems and that we've never done this so we haven't a clue what labor will be like for me. instead, we are going to the hospital (statistically normal) and having our baby there.

however, we have hired a doula (statistically not normal) and I am doing everything in my power to have a totally natural/unmedicated birth (statistically not normal, at least in the past 3 generations). I have gotten a LOT of input on this--including from my doctor yesterday who said "well, a lot of women find that once they're in labor their plans change." which, admittedly could totally happen, BUT at the same time? natural childbirth aligns with my entire life philosophy. so, while I totally get that I might change my mind, or need an epidural for a number of different totally legit reasons, I don't think my core values are going to uproot themselves and be replaced by something more mainstream. also? my mom had twins and two ten pound boys without any drugs. I think it's definitely possible.

we plan to cloth diaper (again, unusual but gaining popularity, and totally what everyone did a few decades ago) and breastfeed for 12 months if at all possible, and anyway. yeah. I get that some things are less orthodox/mainstream. but daaaang.

growing a human being is pretty friggin incredible!

I have had many moments where pregnancy is totally not fun. I will spare you the details, and instead just say that literally since three days after the test was positive (and heck, even beforehand, when the test kept saying negative month after month) pregnancy has definitely had some "downs." But recently I can't help but keep thinking--I am creating a person. Like, growing and developing a HUMAN BEING. Clearly you can't get pregnant on your own, and please don't think I'm ignoring the whole divine plan thing, but I eat food and my body takes some of it and develops a brain or lungs or blood or skin or digestive organs, etc. I am the sole source of nutrients and support and LIFE for this little girl. Often when she gives a little kick or sticks her bottom out, I get this ridiculous grin on my face--because for one, there's a BABY in my belly and she gets to come home and live with us for a long long time. And for two, I can already tell that all of the "downs" from the last 8 months (and before) were totally worth it--because I have grown a human being. And if she were born today (which I sincerely hope she isn't! PLEASE wait!) she would very likely survive! It just, it blows my mind.

It's pretty powerful stuff. I must admit that sometimes when I get down and out (because my hips hurt, my feet are swelling, my nose is spreading, I miss beer, I can only eat half of a sandwich at a time, etc) I remind myself that I work harder in my sleep than most people work all day--and that I have grown a PERSON.


I am carrying my potential future grandchildren.

my friend courtney pointed this out to me--females are born having all of the eggs they'll ever have, right? which means all of cleona's eggs are already in her body, right now, just hanging out. a handful of those eggs will potentially become children some day. WHOA.