alright alright, hey-hey, alright alright, yeah.

I wish I could remember what that's from. I don't. Oh well!

I am having an "I hate money" kind of day. I always hate money. There's never enough of it, it seems, and even when you make your mind up to be thankful for what you have, something happens to make you feel all brokedy-broke again.

case in point:

we have been saving for italy. planning for italy. thinking, breathing, sleeping, reading, learning for italy. so what happens less than a week before the italy trip?

a) a $270 convention that I want to go to but I'll be late to it, I'll have to take PTO to go to it AND I am supposed to pay for it by tomorrow night or the cost goes to $300,

b) a trip to Tulsa over the 4th of July (which we were also planning for, but not quite yet, but then realized we only had two weekends could go), accompanied by a credit card fiasco (long story) that means that instead of getting to take advantage of spending after the due date, thereby delaying that expense, we owe it sooner and

c) owing for the next session of the CSA already.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking: "But, Carrie, you've got a roof over your head and you eat well and you aren't, like, poor or anything, buck up!" And I know this. But I think I can explain.

Y'see, in my neck of the woods, money isn't something I think about eeeeevery day. I don't figure and analyze and add and subtract and take money out of savings all in one day. I don't obsess. I think about it, I try to be mindful, I pay my bills and I use what's left over to pay off debt/flights/etc. But because this Italy trip is costing quite a few more clams than we expected (our hotel costs were higher than anticipated by ~$50 a night, which is another long story, but is what it is), and because we don't want to be overly frugal the whole time we are there (why bother traveling to Italy if we're going to obsess over every penny and, like, choose mickey d's over pasta because of the $5 we'd save or whatever), money has been on my mind.

And it's making me crazy.

annnnd, full disclosure, I also feel a little sheepish because I just posted on my arch nemesis, aka FB, that I wish the $270 wouldn't've had the increase in price deadline happen in the middle of the month. If it were the 1st of the month? golden. but it's not. so, now I weigh the value of delayed paying v. paying $30 more. UGH. but now I feel like whiney-mc-whinersons because of it.

I mean, I'm going to friggin' ITALY. I should be rolling in the money, yes? Um, no. We saved. We shopped around. And we're gonna owe some after this (sorry for anyone who is a D.R@msey fan who just shuddered at that notion). We are going now not because we're rife with cash, which for the record, we're not--but because we can manage, and because we know we won't be going once there's a bambino in the picture--not on a 10 day overseas excursion. So we're making it work now because that makes the most sense to us. Capisce?

Right. Anyway. When it rains it pours or whatever. It will all be fine. I am sure that this is just the way I'm focusing my crazy right now since I've already made enough lists, done enough searches and learned enough words in Italian to make anyone a little nuts. :D Please do excuse my ranting. I'll return you to your regularly scheduled programming...