"I'm so excited, I'm so scared!"

~saved by the bell.

It's okay, no diet pills, heavy caffeine intake, over-exercising or the like here. but that IS how I feel about my wedding.

I am not anxious about the part involving marrying Matt. I'm pretty dang excited about that :) But I am worried that, say, my granny will be having a bad day during that week and take it out on me. Or that at the last moment I'll realize we forgot something very important. Or that my Oklahoma allergies will flare up.

you'll notice that these are all things entirely out of my control. and it's not like I'm sitting over here biting off my nails and freaking out--but I'm just kind of worried. I'm not even worried about the weather--if it rains, it rains. If it does, we get married in the barn. If it doesn't, we get married by the lake. Our tent has sidewalls, it's all good. But I can't prepare myself for emotional onslaughts or broken favors or allergy attacks. So in 54 days, please send good vibes my way. :)

Also, I need a suggestion--I need to find someone to serve as a kind of coordinator that day. I had someone, but now they are unable to make it. And I have a backup, but she's not totally comfortable with that role. Really, I just need someone to tell the food people where to put the food, and the boyscouts where to put the chairs. And, um, yeah, that's probably it. I'm working on a detailed "list" of where everything should be, but really I just need someone else to be in the know so I don't have to think about it that day. I also don't have hundreds of dollars to spend on a day-of coordinator (and wouldn't know who to go to, anyway). Ideas? Suggestions? I just don't want to spend the whole day answering questions.

anyhoodle. now that I've gotten the scared part out...here are my exciting things:

1. Tomorrow my KD gals are throwing me a shower. I am SO excited! I love them so much!! And it is always refreshing and uplifting to spend time with my sisters. :)

2. I go to California on FRIDAY! It's SJG's birthday, and his one birthday request was for me to be there. yeeehaw!

3. the following weekend is my bachelorette! I am kind of nervous about getting my house in order, but all in all, I am EXCITED! There are going to be 20-some-odd of us, and people are coming in from Oklahoma, Virginia, Georgia and California! Woohoo! It should be a TON of fun! And I will get to see George and Tonya AND we are going to see Alice in Wonderland on Sunday. Win, win, win!

4. Matt and I finally booked our tickets for Tulsa. I'm there Tuesday night-Monday morning! (Anyone want to meet for dinner on Tuesday?) And Matt gets there Wednesday and also leaves Monday. Double bonus--when I went to book the tickets were $25 less than they had been when I reserved them!

5. Two weekends after that is our St. Patty's Day themed shower, and I am really excited about that too! and how cute is it that it's going to be St. Patty's Day themed because that's when we met? Speaking of which, earlier that week we will celebrate 3 years of awesomeness. :)

6. A week and a half after that we'll have our engagement pictures. The ones that we won. SO cool! SO looking forward to it. I'm getting my hair styled that day (the lady who did it for me this weekend ROCKS), and we are going to be CUTE! And our photographer is totally amazing. Truth be told, I'm also really excited that she's from California because it means she and I aren't "competing" for the same clients. I mean, not that I'd poach clients or anything, but it's kind of nice that she isn't having to worry that I'll steal her location or whatever.

7. and then? then it will be APRIL! And Easter! And then we leave for Tulsa, get our license and get hitched! I am excited about all of the little details we'll have, and how much fun out wedding will be. That's our number one priority. I cannot believe it's only 54 days away! :)