aaaaaaand...the nightmares become reality.

fret not, my house is not all stairs and matt is alive. however, closing was HORRIBLE. just plain awful. thank GOD I am friends with Kristin (my realtor) because it meant that she and I could exchange glances and roll our eyes at each other. it was out. of. hand.

also, before I got there I was asked my relationship to the seller. I said "stranger?" I think they thought I was five--stranger danger!!!

so, the seller's name is myrick. he is awkward. he blinks his eyes like a bird. and he is RUDE.

he was half an hour late to closing. and did not apologize ONCE. my lender, my realtor and my attorney were all present, and he saw my lender and said rudely "WHO are YOU?!" and he never introduced himself, I might add.

during the inspection we found out the fridge didn't work. sunday evening at 6pm myrick had volunteered to replace the fridge even though he didn't have to. he said it was being delivered tomorrow (now today) and when I said when he said--it'll be fine, I'll be there when they deliver it.

um, no, dumbass, you will be trespassing if you're in my house, thanks. also? genius handed me a copy of the receipt--and guess when it was purchased? 12:58. guess when closing was? 1:00. awesome.

so, we straighten that out. he gives me a copy of the receipt and we keep going. there's also some mistake about his home owners dues--which is particularly weird since, um, if you haven't been paying them for months don't they, I don't know, TELL you?!? turns out he didn't owe quite as much so we had to get some paperwork re-drawn-up. messy, messy.

then we had to talk about the exercise machine. this exercise machine. it is BIG. it is actually less heavy than we thought. but we certainly don't want it. and myrick had said it would be gone. he says he'll come get it later in the week. again, IT'S MY EFFING HOUSE. you can't come in unless I say it's okay!

and, when I said I needed his phone number and all so we could coordinate I asked if he could get it done yesterday--he said, rudely--"well, you're gonna help me." um, no. so not my job. he didn't have the mail key OR the garage door opener, and he was a real ass about that, too. "it doesn't say garage door opener in the contract." "'garage door opener and controls' mean WALL controls." "are you going to put the screws to me about a $25 remote when I bought a fridge I didn't have to?!?"

UGH! so unprofessional and a total ass.

there were some forms he'd neglected to sign, some signatures he neglected to write, but we finished up the paperwork after about 70 minutes and kristin and I headed over to her office. the nice people at lowe's changed the fridge delivery contact info to my name, she gave me a pretty monogrammed blanket and I went home to change clothes and do some cleaning at the new place.

matt and I ate at moes. and then we went to buy new locks. and then matt had soccer and I went to take a nap since I really didn't sleep at all on sunday night. I did not feel comfy in the house knowing that myrick had a key. (and he did. it was in the lock box, which he collected.)

a little after 6 I get a call from myrick "Is your boyfriend at the house now?" Dude, A) we need to schedule ahead and B) I told you not after 530 today. he said he'd call tuesday.

I slept for and hour and a half, showered and got ready and Matt and I went to the most expensive dinner we've gone to together--to the Angus Barn. It was YUM. There was SO MUCH food. And yummy wine. And I tried soft shell crab. Mmmmmmm. We also got two apples on our way out--they are supposed to bring us seven days of good luck--and walked around until we found the kicking machine. I wouldn't've known about it except they mention it on roadsideamerica.com

we grabbed some champagne and went to the house to change the locks, toast the new house and mock the exercise machine. :) I also brought the first "things" to my house--my jar of rocks I told you about here, and two pictures. and now it's my home.

today I got a call around 10am. it was myrick. first he said "is your boyfriend at the house?" I was rude and said "look, you need to give notice. not just expect to show up in five." he said he was wanting to set up a time later--why in the world would he lead with that question if he intended to set up a "window" of time?!? so, he told me the fridge would be delivered between 12 and 1 and he'd come to get the machine in that time too. I said "wow, I'm surprised, I told them to call me instead since, y'know, it's my house." He FREAKED. He was all "they can't do that, they have no right, I purchased it, etc." Dude, it's fridge delivery in a house it's ILLEGAL for you to enter. chillax.

So. I was still at work but Matt was at the house. Myrick got there and was rude, whining, complaining, etc. Matt helped him take it outside and Myrick was gone in about ten minutes. Twenty minutes after that I show up with lunch for us and the Lowe's folks are preparing to bring in the fridge.

yay! everything is going well!

until.

sigh. so, they get everything ready to go, the ramp down, cardboard on the floor to protect it, etc. and this really nice man mark d. talks to me. he already knows that I didn't purchase this fridge, and he is like--yeah, but have you seen it? turns out it's a floor model with a couple of big gashes in the front and it's missing some shelves. um, thanks, myrick. thanks a lot. my fridge goes on the second floor. I want to have one and LEAVE it there. It will convey when I sell for just that reason.

so now I'm waiting. legally I have no claim to the fridge because it wasn't in writing (though kristin did save his voicemail and a verbal agreement was made in front of the attorney) or the contract, and because lowes does not have my name associated with it. oh also there isn't another fridge in this model at all. I hope he'll just say "the credit is yours, use how you please" and I can get a new fridge. and maybe even pay someone to fix the other and use it as a beer fridge if possible. but anyway, yeah. this RULES. closing was awful. myrick is awful. I can't wait to be done with this part, either. at least he now has zero access to the house. :)

gracious.