iterations.

so, if you're an engineer, or you took lotsa math you prolly know what one is. an iteration. you get closer and closer and closer until you're close enough.

it makes me think of when you hang a big picture, maybe with a wire and two nails. and you see it's a little off one way, and then a little off the other way, and then you're slowly bringing it to center. slowly.

and it feels like that picture frame is my life, and the teetering is slooooowly coming to a balance. that picture is going to be straight--or at least as straight as I can make it.

(it also, for some reason, makes me think of trying to figure out how many licks to the center of a tootsie roll. which is kind of random. but that's okay 'cause the owl is cute.)

A while ago I thought about getting my MBA. Then my MS in ChE. Which changed to my MS in Materials Science and Engineering (MSE), then to my PhD in MSE, then back to my MS in MSE. But something still seems *off.* I haven't quite hit that point where I know for sure.

so, I am thinking about doing this. maybe not there, but so far all the other programs I've found haven't been MSE.

now, maybe I'm a little batty (or owly?). certainly possible. but the more I think about it, no matter how much I like being in a lab, the more I think about it, the more it ain't gonna work for me. I mean, I can do it, to be sure, but I either have to get my PhD or I've got to settle--and I'm not very good at that. (at least not anymore!)

and I'm maybe just maybe thinking that potentially patent law is where it's going to be for me. I mean, I'd go specifically to go into patent law--'cause technical (and maybe a little dorky at times), comes with opportunities to learn more things and most importantly, a serious challenge.

and I know I keep changing my mind, but, well, I keep changing my mind because I keep seeing that with every decision I think I've made my heart isn't in it.

I still don't know though. and I've got an awful lot to learn before I decide.

but something clicks a little here. and this may sound silly to you, but it makes sense to me, because from when I was about, oh eight, until I went to high school I wanted to be a scientist and a lawyer. little did I know that it's entirely possible to do both--perhaps eight-year-old, permed-hair, artsy, softball-rockstar Carrie was onto something...

just perhaps.

she's been right before, you know.

ps-gratia tibi, jackie, for your insight/knowledge/letting me pick your brain/asking your friends. :D