if you were meant to be my lover I wouldn't have to.

~no doubt.

And speaking of no doubt….I have smart friends, people. SMART. Wise beyond their years, really. And I like it. No doubt. Y’see, falling in love is the easy part. It’s EASY to fall in love. Even if you have issues. The relationship itself is supposed to be the hard part. And that, my friends, makes me feel A LOT better about my present situation.

So, I’m not exactly an ex-girlfriend, as Ms. Stefani sings about. But I’m now another guy’s girl-he-used-to-date. And though it stings a little, I’m good with it. I initiated, we agreed. But I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t disappointed. And anyone who tells you differently is selling something.

We talked a lot less than you would have expected me to, and suddenly I really understood the meaning of the phrase flash in the pan. because that’s what we were—a flash in the pan. (on a happier note, though, this discussion showed me that I'm waaay more together than I even realized. waaaay. it's ALWAYS good to realize you've got a strong hold on who you are and what you think. anyhoo.)

I still have to return the books he loaned me, but he says I can read them first. They’re this and this. I’m definitely intrigued by the second one, that’s for sure. And my mom said she used to read books like the first one at my softball games—but she’d cover the books (y’know, like you did in school with brown paper bags, and like I still do with wrapping paper?) so that people couldn’t see what she was reading. It should be interesting returning them.

And today’s just a downer of a day. I kind of feel like I need to go rent a sappy movie or go read another Nicholas Sparks novel—so I can have a good cry. My photos didn’t get selected for the juried show. Oh well, Que Sera, Sera. I guess. I mean, after all, I am an amateur and I was competing against pros so I can’t get toooo upset. But man, I feel like a bad country song. Except I *think* that they don’t normally write them about art shows…just a hunch.

so I’m going to counter the wallowing wandas and negative nellies and downer debbies with some uppity ursulas and positive petunias!

ready? [deep breath] go!

~thirteen days from today I will be with my two bestests, renee and jess. in texas. I will get to see them, my aunts candi and jan, my uncle randy, my cousin chris and his girlfriend (I haven’t seen this side of my fam since my grandma la la’s funeral two years ago) AND I get to see Turner and also Misha (and maybe her hubby) who I’ve not seen since May 2003!
~tonight I’m going out on the town with the girls. always a good way to make a day better! mmmm…cocktails.
~Otto (finally!) moves out this weekend and my new apartmentie (like roomie!) moves in! Otto and I did have a good convo yesterday though, and he told me some funny stuff about my boy sitch. It was weird. And nice.
~I am going to take a nap after work!
~there is a hot water tap on the coffee pot in the break room—which means I can fill my pink(!) thermos and have tea any time I want! (it’s the little things, people)
~I get to play my extra super very pretty guitar a lot this weekend!
~my good friend Del is coming to town the first weekend in March! We are going to have so much fun!
~I have more of Gilmore Girls season 6 calling my name at home—I want to finish it before the end of this season—the 7^th—so I can watch the last episode on time if it ends up being the series finale.
~it is deliciously cold outside. deliciously. and no, I’m not crazy. much.
~tomorrow Katie and I are enjoying quilting, wine and food. all good things. all.
~I leave work in just over an hour. me likey.

Did I leave any positives off the list? I’m positive I did. But hopefully I’ll think of ‘em later and they can cheer me up then…

and the funk that I'm in, post positive list = not as funky. thank the good lord for friday!