hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Because sometimes it does.

What's life?
A magazine.
How much does it cost?
twenty-five cents
But I've only got a dime.
that's life.

I had to explain to someone why I'm in the process of doing something that I swore I'd never do. It goes again every fiber of my being. But you only live life once, and I refuse to live in a land of the perfunctory, the platitudes, or the purposeless. I don't want the world, I just want to love and feel loved, take care of and feel taken care of, support and be supported. Is that so much to ask? Is it?

I refuse to continue to live like that. Ever, ever again.

So, some word up in that first paragraph made me think of the Phantom Tollbooth. Weird.

I'm making good progress on my chest of drawers. It's snow pea green now. I've just got to do another coat or two. I'm hoping I'll still like the color when I'm done. Maybe green is my new favorite color. But oh, how I love purple. Someone told me maybe green is my accent--since it's opposite on the color wheel and all. But that seems so right, that the opposite would be the color I use most prevalently. So weird.

Also, about God. What a funny funny way of things working out. But, so it goes. Isn't it ironic? Why do I even bother asking--it seems that I will always and forever know the answer to that question. It is, undoubtedly, "of course it is."

I've been in a rather fantastic mood the past two days. I'm a little more sullen now, but still in a good mood. I even made breakfast this morning. Maybe I'm going insane. Is that what they say?--the first sign of going insane is waking up early to make breakfast in the morning when you have to go to work and could really just get by with some OJ and a chicken biscuit? Only people from the south would eat fried chicken for breakfast...mmm...

I'm almost done with this damn medicine. It leaves a funny taste in my mouth (literally, mind you) but I'm SOOOO glad this one seems to be working. Of course, I still have a cough and a runny nose. Welcome to living in North Carolina.

Also, once I figure out hello I'll post some fun pics. I think I know what to do now, but itunes is currently sucking my computer's will to live in the form of conversion of wmas.

goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.