it's probably a little ridiculous...

but I'm thinking about moving churches because of the "pictoral directory."

well, sort of.

I live a ways from my church. 20 minutes on good days. 30-35 minutes on bad ones.

The times slots that we could legitimately take are the evenings and weekends. Evenings, though, are pretty much out. We don't have an hour to spend in the car with Cleona. Besides that, it's our only time with her during the week, really, and I'm not spending it taking pictures I don't want, after which they'll try to convince us to spend money we don't have on images we don't like. Right.

And then there are weekends. Which, again, not really how I want to spend my time. Yes, it's once every two years. And yes, I know it's nice or whatever, but really?! so I asked if we could send in a picture so we could at least be included. The answer is no.

I'm also disappointed from a while ago--because Cleona's birth? NOT IN THE CHURCH BULLETIN UNDER "Joys." That one actually stung. They didn't put it in the email to the congregation either. Evidently there are "too many concerns" to fit the joys. I would think that kind of a ratio would be all the more reason to include the joys. Right?

But most of all, I want Cleona to grow up going to church. And going there regularly. And if it's somewhere between 20 and 35 minutes away...and add to that how we'd like to move in the not too distant future, and how it's likely we'll be moving in the wrong direction, well....yeah.

So I might be looking.

I mean, I love my church. I love being in the choir. And there are some really fantastic people...but maybe it's not right for me anymore?

if you had told me...

two hundred and thirty four.

tonight I am sleeping in my own bed. our nice king bed. all by myself.

matt is sleeping in cleona's room. she is sick and fussy and needs attention. so she gets it.

but tonight is noteworthy because its the first night I won't be sleeping in the same room as her. which is very freeing and also makes me tear up a little.

I hear a lot of moms lament how their baby is growing up...but that's not what tugs at my heart strings. I mean, I'm really looking forward to her being five. and eight. And even fifteen!

It's just...I miss her. I like having her near me. She will just get a few extra kisses when she wakes up to nurse. :)