Wednesday, February 25, 2009

my lenten offering. (?)

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do this year for Lent. I feel like in the past, if I've really thought it through, I end up giving up something that changes me for the better. Maybe I get a better handle on a fault or gain perspective or something. But it's helpful. Worrying. Carbon. Over-scheduling.

I thought about beer and then thought better of it--for me, it's not something that would make a difference in my life. Well, maybe my waistline. :) It is still on the possibilities list for another time, and perhaps I'll drink less anyway just because, but still.

So, then I was thinking...and one thing for sure is I'm giving up disposable paper products as much as possible. I don't think it will be 100% this way, but I can try. But even that seems like something I should do anyway.

And yesterday I'd decided to give up my temper. I have one, y'see. I credit my father with gifting it to me--and I say credit and gift half in sarcasm, but also half in gratitude. For as much as it gets me into trouble, my temper is also a huge blessing for me. It is why I am passionate about environmental issues and social injustices. It is why I have been able to make some hard decisions and stand by them. And for that, I am so very, very thankful.

But recently I've found that my temper isn't, well, very tempered. I go from zero to irate in 0.4 seconds, and that's just not fun for anyone. But then again, much more often than not, my being upset is warranted. And productive.

except then, maybe it isn' felt a little like I was justifying. but I couldn't tell which side I was on.

so I was pondering this last night, and then I was reading the last of the items for our final Bible Study, and I read this--it's a Franciscan Blessing.

"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."

I especially like that last one, PS.

And even though I'm thankful for it, I'd never though of anger as a blessing. But it IS.

Anyway. Right now I'm not sure what I'm giving up. My temper is still something that needs some soothing, but maybe it's Carrie as a whole that needs some. Maybe for Lent I should take care of myself. Maybe for Lent I should give up words that I wouldn't say in church. Maybe for Lent I should learn more about social injustices and join the effort to rid the world of them. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

we shall see.

oh and:
tonight: ben folds! and miniature tigers!
tomorrow am: test #1. :( I'm such an irresponsible student. ;)
website: funny but mildly offensive if you don't like the f*** word. they don't actually write it, but they do allude to its use.
iphone blogging: I bought blogpress.

more later!


Jax said...

OMG! I KNEW it! When you made that comment, I was like "wait, I thought I DID post a pic of the reversed bangs...what happened?" Check it out: PHOTOBOOTH REVERSES THE IMAGES! hahahah!

m-m-m-melissa said...

dude, i get angry pretty quick-like too. and i ALWAYS find myself straddling that line between "am i overreacting?" and "am i legitimately pissed?" tough to figure out sometimes, that is FO TRUE. good luck with whatever it is you decide to give up. :)

p.s. so jealous you got to see ben folds. SO jealous.

Jeremy said...

Humm... by the way: have you read Emotional Intelligence? Comments on the science of anger; you might like it.

Also, regarding giving up words you wouldn't use in a church: hmmm. Maybe. But be careful: words are a tool, and all tools can be used well in different situations.

In "Inherit the Wind" when a man is chastised for swearing on the radio, he replies:
"I don't swear just for the hell of it. Language is a poor enough means of communication. I think we should use all the words we've got. Besides, there are damn few words that anybody understands."


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