i'm really going to miss him.

my granddaddy passed away last night. he was old and frail, and he was in buckets of pain, so it's a good thing, it's okay. but I'm still really going to miss him.


the last time I saw him was exactly three weeks ago. after matt and I brought him (and I fed him) his arby's sandwich with horsey sauce and a porter peach, on our way out he insisted we take this picture. and I am so glad. he was so disappointed that I had to leave, but also so glad to've seen me. I'd actually printed out a copy of the picture for him and was going to mail it to him this week. instead I have one copy and home and another at work.

my granddaddy was an amazing man. I liked to tell him that he was my very most favorite person in the whole wide world. because he was.

When I was a little girl he used to do this loud evil muah-ha-ha laugh and tell Anna and me scary stories before bed. He loved reading us the Golden Book about the two twin girl mice who jumped on the bed. And he'd bring surprises upstairs for us--like a big beach ball that had a glow stick in it that we'd bat around in the dark.

He had a crazy punny sense of humor (I totally credit him for mine) and I don't know that I'll ever be able to attend a thanksgiving where I don't think of him, and think of how the two of us were always the last ones at the table, telling the baaaaaad jokes and thereby getting all the lasts of the desserts.

Once in college I made his entire week by inviting him to come to a TU basketball game with me (he's a TU alum as well). He loved it that I went to TU--I'm the only grandchild who has--and he was so proud of me for my accomplishments my entire life long. He often served as my "father"--attending father-daughter scout dinners, giving boys the "firm handshake" when I lived at their house and being the male influence in my life. He came to see me honored as a Top Ten Freshman, was so pleased that I went KD and he always made time for me.

He was patient, kind and a bit of a penny-pincher, but had more patience than any one person should ever have to possess. He was a night owl, too--in the summers off from college I would have lunch while he had breakfast on days I didn't work. When he had one of those stair-chairs he and I used to "race" each other to the top. I always let him win.

He taught me how to play pool. And poker. And how to start the chevy on cold days.

And he wore these great button up shirts. I don't know what they're called, but they all look like this. I think I might ask if I can have one and maybe make a pillowcase out of it or something.

I found out he was a "real" person when I was nineteen or twenty and caught him smoking his pipe outside on the front porch while granny napped--he was supposed to have stopped, but decided if he'd lived this long (he was over seventy at this point) he'd earned the right to have his pipe once a day!

I don't know when the funeral is yet, but I will later today, and I imagine I'll be heading to OK tomorrow or wednesday. And though I'm really sad, I'm trying to remind myself of all the happy things and how lucky I am to have known my granddad for so long.