if i could cheat, i would skip to the end, and decide if it's worth going through with,

skip to the last, paragraph, just before we start, to see the happy ending, or the broken heart.
~the futureheads.

I've a confession to make--I'm completely a book cheater. I'm a skipper-to-the-end-er--I go and read the last paragraph or page sometimes. Like, often. Not in sci-fi books, usually, but anything emotional. Or sometimes mysteries. I figure I can do it if I want to--I'm not ruining it for anyone else. So I do. Almost always.

and that, m'dears, is how I'm feeling right now. about boys, about law school, abotu photography, about moving, about friends. I've never wanted to cheat so badly in my life. I just want to know. And I know that's part of what life IS. you've gotta live it to find out.

That reading the last page first thing--it doesn't usually make a whole lot of sense, but it gives me a glimpse--and that's what I needed. I need a hint, people. An idea. A notion.

there's nothing to fall back on. (nanan, naaa, nanananana)

and if it's good enough, if it's tempting enough it makes me want to hurry to get to the finish line--and if it's really good? I'm going to go through the time on my way skipping.

why am I thinking about this? because I got my GRE score yesterday. and because I kicked the writing portion's ass and they put a makes-carrie-very-happy number beside it. because I realized how very well I did on verbal and how superb my analytical writing skills are and then noticed my still-good-but-not-so-stunning quantitative skills. and it got me thinking about how I often pursue things 'cause I feel like I *should.* but, hey, being a patent lawyer is kinda like being a technical writer, right?

I so wish I could skip to the end. like, hand-in-swinging-hand, head-bobbing, take-a-peek, skip to the end.