pretty much linear. and my r-squared value is pretty high, too!

~me, to my OB.

At week fifteen I was, as the doctors put it, "weight neutral." I lost weight at the beginning, made it back up to my original weight and sat there and sat there. I was REALLY excited to gain, like, two pounds, according to my scale, at 17 weeks. I was showing by then (clearly) but I hadn't actually gained weight. It was all very bizarre.



and now I feel like I am growing at a rapid clip, even though technically I'm pretty much linear.  If I keep up this rate I'll gain 28-ish pounds during pregnancy. And right now I really do feel like nearly all of it is belly! I can tell a different in my face, and of course parts of me are swelling (face. fingers a little.) but overall, wahoo!

as I say every time someone asks me how I'm feeling--"I'm feeling pretty good most of the time"--and I'llllllll take it. I know women who have had it so, so much worse.

other things:

-I'm starting to get a little anxious about labor. I think the prepared childbirth class will help with this. It's hard not knowing what to expect, really.
-I've started having little contractions. I know they're terribly normal. They don't hurt, but they're uncomfy. And sorry if this is TMI, but they make me feel like I have to pee very badly! It's a strange sensation.
-So far, no new stretch marks, no line in the middle of my belly button and I'm still an innie. I'm thinking my belly button is going to pop at some point though!

Oh and we have now driven three cars, researched a TON of them (multi-tab spreadsheets, people!) and are driving more tonight. I hope one of them is "the one" and we can be done with this process! But I don't want to not look around enough and regret it later!

swell!

that word sums up so much...how I feel (pretty swell), what my feet tend to do (swell up), how the cartilage attaching my ribs to my sternum is behaving (it's inflamed, and that means it tends to, you know, swell)...

etc.

BUT as pregnancy goes, I've got it pretty good, I think. This rib business is annoying (this is an explanation of my "condition") and I did actually get sick for my first time (I come from a long line of women who feel nauseated but don't actually get sick during pregnancy), so all in all, I shall count myself as lucky. :)

I want to remember to tell y'all about father's day weekend. So this is my note to self. It's better with pictures!

Oh and...so, another fun(ish) thing...Matt and I are going car shopping! After much debate we've decided that the new car, which will be a small SUV-ish type vehicle, will be "mine." I put fewer miles on a car in any given week than Matt does, so it'll help with that. But we will also use it to take our trips. We're keeping my Mattie the Mazda and his Dodge is going to that great big junkyard in the sky. Well, we're trading it in. We took it to get inspected, and knew it was leaking coolant, and it was going to be more to fix the dang thing than it is actually worth in trade-in. So....it's time.

Although we weren't really wanting to do this right now, we figured it's better that it's happening now than, say, two or three months from now when we have a little tiny baby. So we'll thank our lucky stars for that.

it's funny, the power of just a few words.

I had planned to tell y'all all about my mother-to-be's day weekend. Matt made it delightful--to the extent that even though I'm not a huge fan of the holiday (it leaves people out), and even though I'm not sure if I'm qualified to celebrate it, I actually found myself really liking it!

but I digress...

so, today at 1130ish I got a phone call from a Tulsa number I didn't know. I decided to answer it. And it was my grandmother.

And as many of you know, interactions with my Granny tend to be....let's go with unpredictable. But I answered, and she immediately began to apologize that she hadn't called, tell me how she was overwhelmed by everything in life, thank me for remembering her on Mother's day, said she figured that she needed to let me go because I was at work, etc. I told her that no, I could talk for a few minutes.

So we talked about how she'd finally moved into her new apartment. And about how the floors had to be re-done, and she'd hired a new real estate person to sell her home, and how everything was still in boxes. And then she said "but enough about me, I want to know how things are going with you! and with your pregnancy!"

So I told her. And she listened, patiently, and commented, and asked questions. This hasn't happened for a good while now, you see...it seems like she's always got too much going on to talk about things like how things are in my life. Which is really okay--it seems like there's always a "fire" to put out in my family. But still. It was nice for her to ask.

We talked about how during the sonogram I could see our baby's BRAIN. And about the miracle of modern medicine. And I told her that I'd be calling her next Sunday to let her know if we're having a little girl or a little boy. We talked about how exciting it was to know, because in her time, and even for two of my mother's pregnancies, you couldn't find out the gender. And now you can!

I then asked her if there was anything I could do (from afar) to help with any of her stresses--and she said "you're doing it. Calling you and hopefully getting to talk to you was my treat to myself today."

:)

And then she said--"I want you to know, Carrie, how much I love you and your husband and your--well, your heir. Granddaddy and I both do. I know he's not here to tell you, but I want you to know you all are wrapped up in our love, every day, all the time. We love all three of you and are so happy for you and we are both so proud of you, Carrie. Every day, all the time. I just wanted to you to know that. I love you."

and then I began to cry.
and I also might've just cried while typing this. :)

And I'm sharing it with the blog-o-verse because I want to remember this moment. I know I will need it in the future. And I am so grateful for that little eight minute conversation with my grandmother this morning. So very, very grateful. And amazed at how much I needed to hear those few short sentences. :)

"I've noticed something different about you..."

~my coworker.

So, now that I'm really-for-real-there's-no-doubt-if-I'm-pregnant-or-if-I-just-need-to-lay-off-the-beer, some people have started commenting.

For whatever reason they haven't heard, didn't know, etc. And their way of making sure their eyes aren't deceiving them makes me giggle.

some things I'm loving right now:

fruit, fruit, fruit and fruit. 

no, really. today: green smoothie (spinach and kale, OJ, almond milk, frozen strawberries, frozen peaches, frozen pineapples, flax seed, brown rice protein powder and water. SO GOOD.) cantaloupe. blueberries.

and I've got strawberries, a pear and a banana on deck.


gap's pure body vneck tees.

they're the ones that made matt say I looked like "a fit pregnant woman." they are comfy, thick enough that I don't have to wear a tank under and fun colors!

gap's ribbed maternity tanks.

oh heavens to betsy, I had no idea how much I NEEEEEDED these before I got them. I have two right now and will be buying more because I'm pretty sure I'm going to live in them outside of work. they are wonderfully cut, flattering and don't have ruching on the side, which is spectacular when you want to sleep. they make me happy.

my doctor's office.

I had a very very very teeny tiny scary moment earlier this week. Short-lived, but I called the nurse line at my doctor's office. She said if it happens again they'll want to see me, but otherwise [insert eleven totally normal possible causes here]. This was on...um...maybe Wednesday? Or Tuesday. Anyway, this AM they called to follow up and left a message saying that the nurse had discussed it and all was well. :)

acupuncture.

fo rizzle. I've been going to see my acupuncturist for pretty basically six months now. He is kind of my personal hero. Just a little. :) I feel better, I genuinely believe that it helped with both conceiving a child and the resolution of our scary hemorrhage (but is not the only reason for either of those, of course!) and many other things. and yesterday, it helped with this pain I've been having in my ribs, the one right below my bra. He said he thought it was a pinched nerve, treated me for it and I am much improved today. Still not 100% but definitely feeling less like an old woman :D

not traveling so much.

don't get me wrong, I LOVE to travel. love, love, love. I want to make sure we travel a lot with Small Fry just so he/she will be accustomed to it. but man, it's been good to stay at home for almost two months straight!

we have some trips coming up--one to somewhere we haven't selected yet over memorial day weekend (I really want it to have a pool!), one to see my fabulous in-laws, one to attend our cousin's wedding...and then we stop. I hope to take one more just-the-two-of-us trip in mid July (close enough to not cause alarm with our doctors) but other than that, I think we are staying put!

that it's friday.

sakes alive, I'm really glad it's friday. this weekend is one of the fullest I've had in a looooong time (still working on paying off that camera!) but I am ultra glad it's the weekend still! 2 sessions in high point, a very short wedding and bridal portraits. and a prenatal massage and a trip to get burgers & brew here in d-town. :)

things I hope to teach small fry some day. and all of our little frylings, too.

I'm sure I'll never think of them all. Ever, ever.

but the state in which I live is considering a very important constitutional amendment tomorrow. one that makes me think of all of the hate and close-mindedness that existed in oklahoma. and it just makes me shake my head and wonder why people's mothers didn't teach them any better.

so.

1. The golden rule. Do unto others as you would have others do undo you.

This is simple and covers a myriad of (potential) sins. Be kind. Smile. Share. Welcome. Love.

2. Do your best to avoid excluding others.

This could be covered by #1. But I think it deserves its own number. When I was younger my mom insisted that Anna and I both get invited to do things unless there were extenuating circumstances. It made for some really awkward moments where I had to call and ask my friend if Anna could please come to the pool party or whatever. Now, as a grown-up, I try to make sure I invite everyone I can. I try to make time for people. I try to talk to people who seem uncomfortable or out of place. Because it's important to me.

I want it to be important to the rest of my family, too.

3. Love. Accept. Encourage. Support. Respect.

I'm not sure this really needs an explanation, but it's getting one anyway. People are people. They are beings that deserve and are entitled to just as much space (physical and otherwise) as you. You may not agree with them. You may think their habits or choices or lifestyles are very different than what you would choose or embrace for yourself. It's okay to feel like you'd want something different--our differences are part of what make humanity incredible! It's okay to respect someone's right to choose even though you'd never choose that yourself. But it is not okay to hate. Or discriminate. Or judge. And that last one is probably the hardest of all.

It breaks my heart every time I see evidence of the self-importance of people. I disagree quite fervently with many people's opinions, political views, lifestyle choices and even, sometimes, their religion. Heck, I disagree with some aspects of my husband's religion, my future-godmother-of-my child's religion, and EVEN MY OWN RELIGION. But I, for one, agree to disagree. And for two, understand that everyone is entitled to their opinions/beliefs/ideas. But I want Small Fry to know how crucial it is that we all treat each other with kindness.

and now, we get a little less heavy....

4. There are hundreds of different colors that are classified as green or blue or yellow. And likewise, many many skin colors, eye colors, etc. that all get lumped into just a few. I want them to see them all and understand that crayola crayons are not the definitive answer. :)

5. The most valuable thing you have or are is YOU. And no one can ever take that away from you.

6. Music and math are the universal languages. Learn to speak them. Small Fry WILL learn to read music.

7. And speaking of reading, I want Small Fry to learn about the joys of reading. If he/she is anything like me, they will be an avid reader. And I want to reinforce that early. :)

8. Take good care of yourself. Wear sunscreen. Drink lots of water. Take your vitamins. This is the only body you've got--if you don't maintain it, you'll pay for it later.

9. Leave things better than they were when you found them. Thank you, Girl Scouts, for teaching me this. It applies to all things--places you visit, the earth as a whole, people you encounter. And it's one of my own personal little mantras. :)

our second anniversary

was in april. I didn't really blog about it. but I did want to chronicle it anyway.

the second year is cotton. matt got me some SUPER high thread count sheets. he is always taking such thoughtful care of me--y'see, that whole "huge burst of energy" you allegedly get in the second trimester? yeah, I call shenanigans. I've been sleeping every chance I get and taking a LOT of naps. Because my eyeballs don't seem to want to stay open.

so, since the second year is cotton, matt got me sheets. so I could be as comfy as possible during my many, many naps. :)

I did two things--one I've yet to finish. I got a LOT farther on our wedding album. I think I have six spreads to go and a few changes to make. But my goal is to finish it by the end of May. I am WAY pleased with how it turned out, and can't wait to order it!

Thing two, I made him a present. On cotton canvas! I freezer paper stenciled the state. I have wanted state art showing Oklahoma, Georgia and North Carolina (which all end in A's I just realized) for a long time--and still do. But I wanted to make something specific for the state where we met, and where our first child will be born. :)

we haven't decided where to hang it yet, but we will. Matt really liked it! It's the second piece of art I've given him. I still think the first is probably my best painting ever! Loved that trip, and that tree. And you know what's crazy? On that trip, which happened more than 5 years before we'll have a kiddo, we already pretty much knew our kiddo's names. Okay, well we for sure knew George's (people actually asked me if I was going to let Matt name a son GeorgeJosephFryIV on that trip--when we'd been dating for like 4 months! but I already knew the answer was yes, ha!) and I wasn't sure if I'd be going with Claire Cleona or Cleona Claire...but I knew those two, too. Crazy that we knew Small Fry's name that many moons ago. :)

hello, my treacherous friends.

thank you for joining me here tonight.

~ok go

I have no idea why that song is stuck in my head, but it's been there for DAYS and DAYS. I think I need to break out ye olde ipod and rock out to some ok go. I was OBSESSED with their album over my christmas break my senior year of college. I went to see a show of theirs some place (OKC, maybe?) with my friend Dustin and some other people (look, my senior year is fuzzy. I think I was anemic!) and I couldn't stop listening after that! I remember sitting in my living room, being grateful that my apartment-mate I loathed was away for two whole weeks, and wrapping presents while listening to that cd over and over.

Oh, and watching 24. A guy named Josh from my reaction kinetics class encouraged me to check it out. I was hooked. I just watched. And watched. And watched. I think the blockbuster people thought I was nuts. Moving on...

A new plan is hatching at my home. And no, it's not at all related to Small Fry. It's related to food.

Y'see, previously I was soooooo good about menus. I'd make one for two weeks at a time, I'd research new recipes, we'd get the dishes into the dishwasher nearly every night...

but now? please let me tell you that I would be HORRIFIED if you walked into my kitchen at this moment. I think I need to clone myself and devote one whole half of me to housework. Anyway.

So, thanks to suggestions from a few helpful friends, we are trying something new. There is a 0% chance that we will be militant about it. I'm not a go-overboard-making-sure-this-happens kind of gal. But we plan on going through our recipe books and planning the menu together. Because I need to delegate some of the decision-making I'm having to do. Baby stuff + photography + work + offices + house changes + my family + meal planning = too many decisions I'm making simultaneously. So, I'm trying to pawn some of them off on other people. And Matt is my first victim. :)

With this in mind--I'm asking for recipe suggestions. The simpler the better. And if they are made with real food, that's the best of all. (e.g., hamburger helper? not what I want to be putting into my body. whole wheat noodles, veggies, organic/local meat, etc, though? sign me up!)

In the spirit of sharing--here's one of my favorite recipes. I think it's even better with fish (tilapia works wonderfully). I am more than a little obsessed with avocado right now, so this makes me extra happy :)

"you look like a fit pregnant woman"

that phrase, my friends, was music to my ears. Matt said it to me after I tried on a new maternity shirt from the Gap. (this one, in orange) I wore it to work and one of my coworkers/friends said hello to me as she walked by my workstation. And then actually backtracked to say "WOW, that color looks great on you!"

:)

I've a feeling that I am going to miss some of my maternity clothes this time next year.

I am sure that I will also welcome the return of my abdominal muscles. And I'll enjoy wearing normal jeans and not having to push with my arms in order to stand up without groaning. And sleeping on my stomach. Oh and BEER. For the love of all that is holy, beer.

Which, by the way--I went to the birthday party of a very cute little girl on Saturday. She turned one and I've been photographing her this year, and I think her momma is the bees knees. While there another pregnant gal (and another one of my photography clients) and I were chatting and I said how sad I was that there seemed to be no such thing as a non-alcoholic wheat beer. That 0'd0uls Amber actually wasn't half bad, but that I'm a seasonal beer drinker (I like dark stouts in the winter and wheats in the summer and the spicy pumpkin ones in the fall--though please, please let me skip the IPAs) and I miss the wheat.

one of the guests at the party who was probably old enough to by my parent or uncle said "you miss BEER?!?!" quite incredulously. I responded with "yes, I do. We're kind of beer nerds--we visit breweries, like tasting beers and even brew our own." He just stared. And then in response I said "I've had a couple of different non-alcoholic beers and most of them aren't good at all, but there's one that is. But really I just wish there was a wheat one!" He said, "wait, you can HAVE non-alcoholic beer??? Isn't there still alcohol in there?" [also, WHAT?!? who is this dude?]

I said "um, yeah. It's like 0.5 %. You get more alcohol than that rinsing out your mouth with Listerine."

He said half jokingly/half serious "you shouldn't drink Listerine."

I said "oh, no, I mean, when you use Listerine the alcohol absorbs through your tongue. I don't mean drinking it." and smiled real big.

And then, thankfully, someone else came into the room and the convo changed. Such strangeness!

(and before anybody decides to lecture--I've had a maximum of two in one sitting, I am very well hydrated and seriously?!? there are bigger fish to fry!)

salsa pasta!

nom nom nom.

I have no idea if I ever ever shared this, but I LOVE it! Matt will tell you I'm quite picky about eating leftovers. Generally I'm willing to have them ONE more time and that's it. There are a few exceptions to this rule--pumpkin pie, mexican casserole and, of course, salsa pasta. I'm sure there are a few others, too. But anyway, yum!

to make:

shell pasta
1 small/medium yellow onion, diced
1 can of corn (I prefer no-salt-added, just plain old yellow corn)
1 or more bell peppers. (I used red this time. Sometimes I do green and orange to make this colorful!)
1 jar Pace thick and chunky (do NOT use picante sauce. I also highly recommend Pace for this--most salsas are too watery)
1 can diced tomatoes (or rotel. or fresh tomatoes. or whatever.)

cook the pasta! I usually use half a box. I've done a whole box before, too. It depends on how many people are eating it, how long I want it to last, etc. You can always add more salsa, tomatoes and/or seasoning to fill out the dish.

while it cooks, chop the things that need chopping.

drain pasta.

put a little (just a little!) oil in the pan you used and saute the onions and peppers juuuuuust a little.

add in tomatoes (reserve liquid) and some salsa. I usually use 1/2 of the jar (the bigger jar of salsa is the one I use). Let simmer for a few while you drain & rinse the corn. Then add the corn. Followed by the pasta.

stir it all up, make sure it's nice and mixed up.

add cheese! if you plan on having leftovers, I recommend putting the salsa pasta into the individual serving size bowls and putting the cheese on there. If you think you'll polish off most of it that night, then you can put the cheese in directly!

and enjoy! it makes a GREAT lunch and is quite yummy!

22 and 23

oopsie! I am behind on baby bump pics. From here on out I will probably just put them on our small fry website (though clearly these aren't on there, either!)

also, I am THRILLED that it's May now. Because that means in less than 3 weeks we will know if this is little Cleona or little George in my tummy! I am loving the little kicks though! sometimes they startle me, but they never fail to make me smile. :)

23 in gray and 24 in green.

do you think we should do a gender/date/weight poll? anything else you think we should ask in it? and any suggestions of websites to create it?

little change = big impact.

No one would look at our kitchen and call it tiny. It's actually quite sizable. But as a girl who loves her kitchen gear, and as someone who loves to cook, I am going to call it inefficient.

There's a big chunk of counter wedged behind our sink, useless and collecting random items. There are only two real drawers, and the folks who built this house made the unfortunate choice not to upgrade the cabinets to the tall ones--so ours are kind of squat and don't house as much as I would like.

And our pantry--though we are really glad to have a pantry--is skinny and deep, making it a bear to keep organized.

So. All of this it to tell you that on Sunday, while at Target, I spent $38 on two baskets. And they make me immensely happy. They sit on top of our refrigerator. This is where our boxes of cereal and various bread-ish items (english muffins, whole wheat bread, bagels, etc.) now live. Before they just kind of splayed out across the top of the refrigerator. But now they look nice. And are organized. AND I can lift them off without too much trouble! (Being pregnant has left much desired regarding my ability to reach for anything on a high shelf!)

Ain't they grand?

Also, on....um...a day last weekend, I can't quite remember which. Probably Saturday? Definitely Saturday. Oh, baby brain.

So, on Saturday we went to whole f00ds to mosey about and get some steaks and the like, and I decided to check out the protein powders. Ever since we got that positive test I've worried about my protein intake--because you need MORE when you're pregnant and I am just not a huge fan of meat in general. That and sushi is off the menu (well, sort of ) and for a while I found all chicken repulsive! And I've been avoiding cold lunch meat too. So I was eating edamame daily and snacking on peanut butter and having nuts and eating greek yogurt basically doing whatever I could to sneak in protein. And then, months ago, I asked my doctor about protein powder and got the go ahead--and what a relief it was, since mixing some and chugging it was easier than psyching myself up to eat whatever it was.

BUT. The one I picked had stevia in it. And I could taste it every time I used it. And I didn't want to be wasteful, but I also didn't want it. So we looked for alternatives--and I found this. And it tastes better, has fewer ingredients (and none unpronounceable!) and and and--no artificial sweetener! And double bonus, it doesn't foam up in my magic bullet like the other did. Yay for green smoothies without foam!

if you [buy] it, they will come.

~field of dreams.

On the 5th of April I was notified that the camera I'd been dreaming of was on its way to my front door. It's the C@non 5D Mark III. Since the Mark II was released, I've wanted a full frame camera. Since the 7D was released (and since I bought it and fell in love) I've been wanting the Mark II and 7D to get together and have a baby. :) I've been waiting for years, really.

So when the notice came out that this camera was being released and available for pre-order, it took all of my wherewithal not to place my order right then. Y'see, as an quick g00gle search will tell you, this camera was not cheap. Or even reasonably priced. It cost more than the first car I bought for myself--my 1990 honda accord. It's $3,499. A pretty, pretty penny.

I decided to be a responsible wife and consult my dear husband. (We discuss most financial matters, but money for my photography business isn't often discussed because, as Matt puts it, it's my business, it's my money, and it's paying for itself and then some, so it's really all up to me.) But since this was hands down the biggest single photography purchase I'd ever made, I figured it was time.

His response: Um, honey, haven't you been waiting for this to come out for YEARS? [me: sheepish nod.]

followed by: So, will photography this year pay for the camera? [me: you know what? it totally will!]

I was a little worried because, as of that time, I only had two more weddings on the books for this year--a fabulous one in Oklahoma in March and another in April. I was sort of relieved about how it all worked out--because, well, I'm pretty certain Small Fry will soon be expressing his/her opinions regarding the toll that photography takes on my body, and because I didn't want to still have photos to edit after his/her arrival. The remaining payments from that wedding + the scheduled sessions did not equal the rest of the amount I owed. BUT I was confident that I'd make it--I'd need 18 half sessions. Or 12 full sessions or newborns. Or 31 minis. Or some combination that would make that come up to at least $3499. Even if business was suuuper slow, I knew that come December it would happen. Plus I knew I had headshots on the horizon, which was going to help.

and then...

I got an inquiry for maternity photos
And they increased the number of headshots they wanted
And I booked some grad photos at a discounted rate
And I booked a newborn session 
Someone wants some out-of-town family photos
And I booked a 3 hour wedding (at a reduced rate, long story)
I have two minis this coming weekend
And a newborn session
And bridals
Someone booked another package of sessions
And I should have another newborn in June

and I have more inquiries coming in... which well exceeds the cost of my new camera! And doesn't include either of the final payments for my weddings. I promise I am not bragging--more than anything I am just overwhelmed by the way it's all worked out. And so very, very thankful.  When I decided to pull the trigger, in early March, the only "for sure" things on this list were the headshots and maternity photos. I though the out-of-town photos were going to happen, but the dates/times/places/etc were all pretty nebulous so I knew better than to count on it.

I remember very distinctly when I bought my first DSLR. Thinking to myself that I'd have that camera for, like, ever. And how it was such an investment...and here I sit, four years later...just WOW.

Oh, life, thank you for being the coolest of the cool. And universe, thank you kindly for reaffirming my decision to invest further in my business. Kisses to both of you. :)

small fry's diet

so, we're 21 weeks now, going strong on 22. the halfway point, y'see. I definitely look more pregnant and less like I have a beer belly :)

 

and for posterity, here's 19 (blue stripe) and 20 (brown stripe)

this week we registered. and small fry visited two durham breweries (no worries, I drank boylan soda one place and tea from a mason jar at the other!). and met uncle sterling. who henceforth shall be known as drunkle sterling! I also bought small fry some baby books--a bunch of them for 10 cents a piece at our nearby thrift store and also one about pant0ne colors. I feel like it is VERY important for kiddos to see that there are many colors that can be classified as green or yellow or purple. And, let's be honest, it looks pretty. perhaps I will take photos.

also, people have been telling me that I am small, small, SMALL for 21 weeks. I have literally gained two or three pounds. (our bathroom scale is analog. mostly to prevent any level of obsession about, say, 0.4 lbs or something) I asked my doctor about it and she said not to worry--for one I would definitely gain it, but for two I was doing just fine.

during this same appointment I asked a question I NEVER thought I would say. first, a photo:

I asked my nice doctor--"Is it possible to get too many servings of fruits and vegetables in a day?! [pause] because I think I'm getting like 8 or 9."

She laughed. And then said no. But seriously y'all...today I had some orange juice when I got up, then a green smoothie with breakfast. I had pineapple, cantaloupe and strawberries. And carrots and bell peppers. And a spinach salad (with eggs, artichokes, almonds, red onion et al) for lunch. And I'm about to have that chocolate milk with an apple for a snack. LOTS of fruits and veggies. LOTS. I had banana in my green smoothie and will probably have one later today. We'll see if I have the v8.

I definitely get enough protein. When I was feeling crappy I was having a protein shake in the morning (a doctor-approved one) just to make sure I was getting it. Now I don't have to try so hard--but I've learned that even things like goldfish and raisin bran have enough of it to really "count." We're having meat most days, too. Chicken tacos (leftovers) yesterday, corned beef the day before (and some bacon), tonight we're having fish, etc. Anyway, Matt told me how impressed he is with my eating during pregnancy. (though let's qualify that with a so far.) I've been enjoying some nutella and mamba chews and fruit snacks, too. And other not-so-wholesome choices too. But overall, I just really want fruits and veggies. :)

popcorn popping + bubbles + leaves rustling

what do they all have in common? they describe what it feels like when the small fry moves!

I would give you my Girl Scout's honor that at almost 15 weeks I felt the baby move. It felt like leaves rustling and felt like it was happening very, very low in my body. My good friend g00gle told me this was unlikely.

But now that I KNOW what I'm feeling is the baby moving about, I'm quite certain that's what I felt before. I've felt the small fry move at least once a day for the past few days. And it is FUN. I am sure that later I will not think this is fun. I imagine my ribs and innards will all be kind of annoyed by the whole situation. But for now, I shall enjoy it!

I am also really super glad that our news is OUT. Tomorrow I officially announce it at work, though my boss and some coworkers know. But other than that, our proverbial cat is out of the bag!

We've also started taking the weekly-ish photos. We waited until 17 weeks to do this! Not totally by choice, but still. The solid green is the 17 weeks (it was St Patty's Day and my awesome in-laws got me that necklace to wear, and one for Matt too!). The one on the right is 18 weeks. You might think I look a little smaller at 18 weeks--and this is probably true because of the time of day. It is CRAZY how much smaller my little belly bump looks in the AM than it does at night. And we took the 17 week one right before it was time for pajamas! Plus, the ruched maternity shirts make you look bigger, I think!

Soon I'll tell about Disney. And probably recap Tennessee even though that's old news. I should probably make a list. :)

the post where I tell you I'm having a baby!

howdy.

so, I maybe should've buried the lead to make this a bit more interesting, huh? oh well, this is way more fun. and besides, we have been hiding this info long enough. it's time to share.

in the interest of full disclosure and sharing some things I wish I had known, I'll be giving details that some of you might not really want to know. and it's okay that you don't want to know. just skip those parts, or pretend like you didn't read them, or whatever.

so. we are having a baby. we are due on august 25th. I've a sneaking suspicion that it's a boy, but only a 50% chance of being right. One morning while drinking my orange juice I suddenly said, aloud and to only Gobi, Hazel, the baby in my belly and myself, "oh, you're a little boy, aren't you?" Hence, my sneaking suspicion. We shall see.

we are currently 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant. but we've only been "officially" having a baby since Thursday, since that's when I shared the news on the book of the face.

I know that 17 weeks is a kind of ridiculous amount of time to wait to share news like this. And I'm okay with that. In the interest of that whole things-I-wish-I'd-known part of this process...

From weeks 4-8 I was experiencing some slight bleeding. Nothing to worry about, they said, we'll check you out at your first appointment. I thought that when you went to your 8 week appointment you had two primary possibilities. 1. yay, baby has a heartbeat! 2. I am sorry to inform you [insert medical sad thing here]. I knew that there might be a complication or ect0pic pregnancy or whatever. But I really thought it was kind of cut and dry at that point. And since miscarriages run in my family, I thought I was going to get to breathe a huge sigh of relief after that appointment, as long as I experienced option 1.

I was terribly, terribly wrong. We had something that happens in 1% of pregnancies. this.

I won't be showing you pictures (pictures of my innards aren't for public consumption--but I'll email you one if you like). But I will tell you that the hemorrhage blob was bigger than the baby blob. Good news: strong, steady, appropriately placed heartbeat. Bad news: I was told they don't know why it happens, don't know what to do to fix it, that my risk of everything that wasn't a birth defect was increased, and that I needed to do everything I could to reduce stress and just be a princess (no exercise other than walking, no lifting, sit still as much as possible and be calm). riiiiiight. oh, and I was under strict orders not to g00gle. I gave my doctor my Girl Scout's honor and everything.

At 10 weeks, the baby was bigger and the hemorrhage was smaller, thank goodness! They told me it could resolve on its own, or that it could be there for my entire pregnancy and cause more bleeding, a later-in-term miscarriage, preterm labor and all sorts of freak-you-out kind of stuff.

But at 12 weeks, it was gone. I fully 100% believe in the power of prayer. I also believe in the power of acupuncture. And in the power of letting your body heal itself. And they combined together to make for a happy Carrie. :)

I wrote some posts in the interim and saved them in my email. Perhaps I will share soon.

But for now: surprise, we are having a baby! :)

a whole month without a post.

and now I come back and post about medical stuff? yeesh!

so, yesterday I was discussing my medical history and said "yeah, plus I always have weird medical problems." the gal asked me to elaborate. let's list a few, shall we?

-I have had the chicken pox twice. Two years ago they tested my immunity for said chicken pox. I was "equivocal." They vaccinated me last spring. I am still not immune.

-when I had allergy testing done in early 2010 I had a few bumps show up--nothing exciting, just stuff to take note of. two days later I have huge welts on my arms in some of the spots. I had a delayed reaction they had never seen before. I almost had to wear arm makeup on my wedding day. I am now a cautionary tale at my allergist's/ENT's office.

-when I was little something strange happened with one of my fillings. I ended up having some weird nerve something-of-other that traveled up my cheek. It was so rare that the doctor paraded me around spr!nger cl!nic to show the other doctors.

-I had to have sinus surgery twice. Normal people only have this once if they have it at all.

there's more. but yeah. strangeness.

also, sorry for the february hiatus. I guess it meant that I wasn't going to be moping around about it being february! and on the plus side, it's now march!

"and everybody probably thinks I'm crazy..."

~the belle brigade

hoooooooooboy. I have no idea how it's only tuesday afternoon because this week feels like molasses flows. maybe it was the busy weekend. maybe it's the photos that I still need to edit. maybe it's the way that the unseasonably warm weather (cough*cough*climate*change) is beckoning me to go outside. but something is making it drag.

so, I totally failed at actually getting photos prepped to include in this post. so instead I'll introduce you to the youtube video with which I am obsessed. It showed up on our g00gleTV one day and it looked cool so we watched it. and now we are hooked!

tomorrow marks the beginning of february. which I've decided this year has too much potential good going on for me to really hate it. ready for the positive?

-we get to see our friends Kristin & Adam in Maryland and meet their little kiddo Jacob!
-we get to see Jessica, Cody and Caroline in Tennessee
-it's the month o' the work photo contest (entry possibilities comin' up soon!)
-and it's NOT already all filled up. which brings me GREAT joy!

the guessing game.

Since last year I have been telling people (typically guys, but sometimes ladies) how inconsiderate it is to play the guessing game. You know the one--she did/didn't do this/that, she must/must not be expecting. I've told my brother about 17 times--this guessing game goes one of two ways. One-the gal isn't actually expecting and you made her feel self-conscious, and if you REALLY hit the mark, you also made her want to cry by reminding her. Two-it's too soon to tell, either because of where she is in her cycle or because it's still early in the pregnancy. Again, awkward-ness, making people self-conscious and a reminder of how things don't go as planned. Also, yet another time you might make the girl cry.

Seriously, people, STOP IT.

Anyhoo--this is not the guessing game I actually meant to write about. Sorry for the tangent.

I meant to talk about the guessing game of what to/not to eat. And use to clean your house. Or to clean your hair/face/body. My friends Jennifer and Christy and I have been talking about it a lot and it. is. complicated. I've mentioned this awesome website before--it's a great resource for many cosmetic products. But it doesn't tell you about everything, and even if you're someone highly educated in organic chemistry (org I and II and four years of research in it), it still doesn't all make sense.

Take, for instance, Polyethylene Glycol. Reading about it makes me nervous even though the ratings aren't complete. And if you google elsewhere, you find out it's not awesome stuff. But what happens when it's a polymer? (and there are MANY versions of it that are polymers) I know that changes the chemical makeup--but how much?

I mean, I'm going to have to admit that there's no way I'm going whole hog and ditching everything that isn't made from, like, water, vinegar, baking soda and essential oils. That just isn't happening any time soon--primarily because I would be ditching an awful lot of stuff that cost good money. So instead I'm trying to re-evaluate what I have, look for huge no-nos and also identify the things that are good and I should keep. And buy more stuff from Burt's Bees since they are local and awesome and even though some people complain that they are owned by a big scary corporate giant, I still think it's putting my money where my mouth is. :)

Next post will have pictures, for sure!

and more to the point

(pardon the pun. sort of. it was totally intentional!)

so, here's how acupuncture works where I go. I have never been anywhere else, so I have no idea if this is the norm. but I got a question about it. sooooo....

the first time I visited I filled out a little health form and then talked with the acupuncturist. He asked me questions about my health, what brought me to them, what I had as concerns, my stress, etc. He also checked my pulse and looked at my tongue. (as soon as he looked he said "are you highly educated?" apparently I have a "scholar's tongue"--he said the best he could describe it was that my tongue is puffy from thinking so much.)

then, it was to the treatment room, which had two tables similar to a massage table and one chair that reclined (but not a full on recliner). he told me to take off my socks and shoes, push up my sleeves to my elbows and to roll up my jeans to above my knees.

I saw him open up a pack of the little acupuncture needles, closed my eyes and then felt pressure as he began to place them. And then I rested for an hour--just kind of laid there, not exactly sleeping, kind of relaxing/meditating. It was just wonderful, clearly. :) He has since mentioned that the typical time for the rest is ~30 minutes, but that if time allows he lets people rest longer.

some advice:

-go pee right before your session. not really knowing what to expect/ how it worked/ how long it took/ etc, and since I was nervous, I didn't. It meant that I spent the last 20 minutes (I'm guessing here, there's not a clock) trying not to think about needing to pee.

-wear comfy clothes. I've yet to wear yoga pants there, but I always make sure to wear my bootcut jeans instead of my skinny jeans (easier to roll up, and also more comfy) and a shirt that's comfy too.

-if they offer you a blanket and you think there's even the remotest chance you'll need it, take it.

-be open-minded and be prepared to just experience whatever happens. this probably sounds a bit granola-hippie-over-the-top but it's true. trust me. :)

it's been a long time now I'm coming back home.

~the beatles.

the song is stuck in my head. and it must come from somewhere very very random, as I haven't listened to the beatles in a good long while.

I have tales to tell of our fun in Georgia for the holidays, and of our NYE festivities with our favorite travel buddies, but those will have to wait for another day. y'know, a day where I didn't forget to bring my external hard drive with me to work. :) I am tempted to run home and get it, but right now I'm just going to go without.

instead, I shall tell you about acupuncture, my new hero.

I'd been considering going to acupuncture for months and months. I found a place near Duke that seemed like my cup of tea and started following them on the book o' the face. I even entered a contest on their page and won a free session! So, alls I had to do was get over my pesky fear of needles, right?

[insert maniacal laughter here]

right, like it would be so easy. ha!

so, then my dear friend Christy (who convinced me to look into it in the first place) insisted I call. and reminded me to. so I did. and I am SO GLAD.

I had my first appointment on the 8th of December. And I have gone weekly since. I've had a couple of needles hurt a bit (sometimes you just kind of feel pressure but not pain, sometimes it hurts a little and dissipates and sometimes it hurts and hurts and you ask the nice person to please remove that right now!) and I bruised once (but I have super fair, super sensitive skin so this also isn't surprising). Those are the only negatives.

I led with those so I could gush--because it's gush-worthy.

I love, love LOVE it. I love it because it is relaxing. Like, relaxing in the kind of way where you're in a wee bit of a haze afterward. I love that it can be used to address like 90% of ailments--my acupuncturist basically said that, in general, as long as it isn't a structural issue (his example was calcification of bone) it can likely be helped by acupuncture. It was an excellent choice for me because my obgyn told me to focus on "destressing" since the vast majority of my stress isn't something I can eliminate. And I feel waaaaaay better after.

I also love that it's pretty inexpensive. Even with my massage package dealio (which I am going to use up and cancel!) a massage is like $70-75 with the tip. They are a community acupuncture place (which means there are two tables and a reclining chair in the treatment room, and others may be having the treatment and/or rest time while you are in there). The cool thing about this is it means less cost to the people--they want acupuncture to be affordable for anyone--so you get to choose if you'd prefer to pay anywhere from $15-$40 per session. In short--I get 2.5 one hour acupuncture treatments for the same cost as a single massage. :) My pocket likes this. It doesn't totally replace massage, of course, but it's totally awesome in a completely different way.

I encourage you to try it!