"spring green is much too yellow, sea green is much too pale..."

~crayola doesn't make a color for your eyes.

oh, kat. she put this song in her little girl's slideshow (go check out her blog for more info) and now it's been stuck in my head.

today is a hot peppermint tea, skinny jeans, ipod kind of day. I spent all day yesterday at a workshop (more on that later). it was AWESOME. lots of new ideas, new motivation and some changes a'comin your way. :)

also, I never know if I want to share these kind of things, but...I went to the lady-parts doctor earlier this week for my annual visit, and we discussed how the main thing I need to do right now is do whatever I can to de-stress.

you'll notice an important thing in the way that is phrased--she didn't tell me to eliminate sources of stress. clearly, I will still have my family, my kaydee responsibilities, my job, my photography, my life. I do not need to live like a hermit, quit traveling, ostracize my family or anything else.

instead, I need to find an effective way to deal with it better. (sorry that sentence sounds awkward. I'm avoiding split infinitives!)

so.

I need suggestions. please help me add to the list.

current plans:
-start using those massages again
-maybe visit an acupuncturist (I've been thinking about this for a long time)
-de-clutter our home (when I am finally done with my to-do list I still feel like I have to clean. and less clutter=less cleaning. we HAVE been making progress, but listing it as a goal helps)
-listen to music more. particularly of the upbeat variety.
-take a relaxing vacation. not an adventure. not with others. just us. :)

any other ideas?

oh delta, oh delta, I hate you, you stink.

we went to celebrate Christmas with my family this past weekend.

that part? It was grand. We made chili, ate Braum's cookies, enjoyed an assortment of cheeses, had delicious brewskies, giggled a lot, had Tammy's cheesy bread, etc. And peanut butter and banana waffles beforehand for breakfast. It was just delightful!

but.

we flew out of Raleigh on Thursday night. Our plane was 20 minutes late leaving, which made us late getting to ATL. So despite running and huffing and puffing--we missed our plane. Matt even pushed open the shuttles doors so he could get on. It was nuts.

we tried to get the nice airline people (who really were quite nice) to send us to little rock that night so we could drive to t-town and get there at, like, 4am. we were only in town for 2.5 days and I had a 4pm photo shoot, plus we had lunch plans with Adam & Tammy, so that flight getting in around 3 wasn't going to cut it.  there was another couple in the same boat--newlyweds heading back from their honeymoon--and we offered to take them with us. all was well, or so we thought.

turns out the nice airline people couldn't make it happen. there's some imaginary 100 mile radius of appropriate re-routing, apparently.

so.

the couple took the later flight to tulsa. we took an early morning flight to OKC which would, theoretically, allow us to drive to tulsa, eat lunch at Big Al's w/ my brother and sister-in-law, go to the bookstore, and return the car and get our actual rental before my 4pm shoot.  we had been assured the entire time that our checked suitcase had already been routed to tulsa and would be on the first flight of the morning, so we'd need to go pick it up.

because they were so frustrated with the policy holdup, the nice airline people gave us and the other couple hotel vouchers, two dinner vouchers, two breakfast vouchers and also ended up giving us drink tickets. :) we also got little overnight bags from delta with an XL shirt, razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.

we went to eat at the sweetwater in the airport, tried to remain calm and attempt to secure a car for the am drive from okc-tulsa. we knew it would be tres expensive to keep that same car all weekend and had no idea what had happened with our other reservation (which had been booked on h0twire) so everything was kind of up in the air.


we took the shuttle to our hotel and found out, first, that they only had smoking rooms left.

then, the gentleman in front of me got the last room. they had nine more rooms in the place, but they were allegedly dirty and there weren't enough people to go check them. I waited in that like for ~45 minutes, total.

they took us to another hotel which, blissfully, had us in a room in about 3 seconds. I handed the voucher, she said "room 101," I secured us a spot on the 645am shuttle and off to our room we went.

we went to sleep almost immediately. I set an alarm for 545. with only one other shirt and one pair of underwear, there weren't going to be any decisions to make, so getting ready would be easy. I woke up MANY times during the night though. My phone kept dinging (the third time it happened I realized it was my delta app alerting me about my flight) and right when I'd get to sleep Matt would start snoring. It was a sight.

and then the 530am wakeup call came. the one I didn't ask for. but whatever.

we got to the airport, had our breakfast, got to the gate and, while there, learned that when you prepay for a car companies will usually hold it for 48 hours. so it would be waiting for us when we got there.

there were only 19 people on the flight. we slept the whole time.

we got there, got the car, went on our merry way. we made it to tulsa in an hour and a half, checked out a park for my photo shoot and made it to lunch. mmmm big al's. love that place. we went to the bookstore and then to the airport. Matt commented on how the tides had changed since the day before.

we had a little episode o' forgetfulness and had to turn around to go fill our tank. no big deal.

we went inside and matt dealt with the car while I got our bag. divide and conquer, right? and mind you, we have all of our carry-on luggage still, because we hadn't been to my mom's house yet and had changed cars.

I finally get to talk to someone and guesssssss what? OUR BAG IS IN OKLAHOMA CITY. They inform us we can have it rerouted, which should only take 24 hours but it might not get here until Sunday (aka the day we are leaving!). I ask if someone can pick it up. They say it's up to the baggage agent's discretion, we should have gotten it when we were in OKC though. I remind them we were assured it would be in Tulsa. They are kind of annoyed at the whole thing and give me the number.

Blissfully, the people agree to let Harvey pick it up if he's there by 6. Harvey agrees to get it.

We go to target, do the shoot, go to my mom's house and run errands. At 609 Harvey calls. His phone fails. I get a call from a 405 number. It's a new baggage agent. I have to re-tell my story, provide all four of Harvey's names and plead a little. The woman agrees to let him take the suitcase. Hallelujah!

When Harvey arrives we have ~40 hours left in Tulsa. We all go to Chimis. We hang out at home. I help my mom make chili. The next day we celebrate and then I have photo shoot. It went REALLY well--see? Then we went to dinner with Renee and Mike. And I learned all about 203k loans. :)

On Sunday we stop by to see my friend Laura and to visit my Granny and then we pack up and head to the airport. And the fun begins.

Although I have attempted FOUR times to check in online, I've yet to be able to do it. Also, our flight is delayed 20 minutes and we have a 46 minute layover. Deja vu anyone? Oh AND we don't have seat assignments anymore (though we did previously, I made damn certain of that) and they won't print out our second boarding pass.

We go up to the line at the gate (bypassing the draft b0ulevard wheat that I'd been looking forward to--we get one at the airport every time while we wait for our flight) and are informed we will "have to wait." I kind of freak out at this. I freak out about our very brief layover. I freak out about not having seats when we reserved them. When I learn it's due to a) the class of ticket we bought and b) that I hadn't checked in earlier, I kind of lose it. I tell him it's ridiculous, and that I will not be spending the night in Atlanta. So we had better have seats as far forward as possible, that Delta had already interrupted my entire trip. He tells me that flight attendants usually announce that folks who don't have a connecting seat should stay seated so the others can get by. Matt and I both inform him how well that went last time. I begin to tell him (in short form) and how we already stayed the night in Atlanta, drove two hours, rented another car and then had our baggage go to the wrong place, blah blah blah, and he tells me he will "see what he can do."

Good news: we get row 24.
Better news: it turns out our arrival gate and departure gate at ATL are one and the same.
Even better news: (sort of) we thank our lucky stars that we were in the same terminal for both flights because the trains in Atlanta? yep, they weren't working that sunday. If we had been in another terminal we never would have made it before the doors shut.

Our bags even made it in one piece.

Moral of the story? I am so aggravated that Delta put such a HUGE damper on my weekend. If it had just been the first flight--meh, those things happened, the gate agent was awesome and they ended up comping us (even though they were not required to do so). But when our bag went to OKC and the agent in Tulsa was lippy? Pretty dang annoyed. And then when the seat assignment crap happened? Unacceptable.

I totally get that in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes--I mean, I have food, shelter, clothing and love, I have a nice job and constant internet access, I have plenty of clean water and medicine, etc. I know, I know. But still. This airline was MUCH better when we went to Italy (though they botched our return flight, too) but I'll definitely be avoiding them whenever I can from here on out. Yeesh.

where'd the fall go?

every year I am bothered by this.
every year it gets worse.
but this year seem extra bad.

it is not the yuletide season yet, folks. we've got thanksgiving to celebrate first.

now, maybe it's easier for me to stave off the christmas crazy because I'm in the church choir, and we start preparing anthems for the holidays in, like, august. but still.

it makes me batty. please, please, PLEASE wait. please. let's celebrate thanksgiving first, mmmkay?

chicken tortilla soup! (aka sneaky additional veggies)

This recipe started as something toooootally different, so this is my updated version. I make it often and it's one of the few things that I can eat and eat and eat. I usually get tired of food (like, I can handle it for dinner and then lunch and then I'm good) but this I could eat for lunch for a week straight!

the players:
-2 yellow onions chopped
-3 cloves garlic chopped (or more if you like garlic.)
-1 tbsp olive oil
-2tsp chili powder
-1tsp oregano
-1 can crushed tomatoes (sometimes I use two. or one and then a r0tel. especially if I want to make it stretch
-1 can chicken broth (or veggie broth. or my homemade veggie broth. I esp like bullion cubes instead of cans!)
-1 1/4 cup water
-1 can corn
-1 can hominy
-1 can green chile peppers (I only sometimes add this)
-1 can black beans--sometimes more. or sometimes frozen prepared ones
-1 cooked chicken breast--let cool and pull into small pieces. I usually put some adobo seasoning on mine and stick them in the microwave!
-tortilla chips, avocado and sour cream if you like them, and monterey jack cheese





oooh AND the sneaky additional veggies part. recently I've been taking whatever veggies I have on hand, chopping them up, sauteing or steaming them, letting them cool a smidge and then using my handy dandy magic bullet to blend 'em up (with a little water). No one has complained yet. :) Most recently I added some yellow squash, zucchini and lima beans!

what to do:
-prepare all ingredients (cut everything, get the chicken thawing, etc)
-in a big pot heat oil and saute onion and garlic
-stir in chile powder and oregano
-then stir in tomatoes, broth and water (sometimes I chop up the tomatoes more w/ kitchen scissors)
-while it heats, if you haven't yet, cook the chicken
-bring to a boil
-then stir in hominy, corn, chiles, beans, cilantro and chicken
-let boil for ten minutes

serve w/ chips, avocado and cheese. if you like. sour cream and chives are also options! makes about 10 servings, I would say, especially with the additional veggies and water.

and although it's not amazingly amazing for you, it's also not horrible! you could go a LONG way toward improving it by using baked chips and less/no/reduced fat cheese. but even with those things it's still not crazy at all. I estimated the fixins nutritional value with 1.5 oz of chips, 1/4 cup of shredded cheese (which is an over-estimate!) and 2 oz of avocado. The left is for the soup and the right is for the fixins! these are without the additional veggies, so the caloric value would increase a little, but I'm sure you'd also get more vitamins! :)

we live in a beautiful world (yeah we do, yeah we do.)

~coldplay

It is a gray day in North Carolina. And I friggin love it. I must admit that I wish I were wearing shoes with socks instead of my flats, and I regret not choosing to wear my wool coat, but overall, this weather is RIGHT up my alley and it makes me smile.

PLUS as my amazing friend Courtney pointed out, this gray day makes the trees look that much more amazing. Matt said it made him think of our roadtrip to the Northeast. It's good stuff, people. Good, good stuff.

Thank you, fall, for arriving. I'm going to enjoy some more hot tea now, thanks!

breads

Nearly every morning I have a green smoothie with an english muffin and egg white sandwich. I often add avocado, red onions or both to the sandwich. I always wait for english muffins to go on sale--and I had to look for a while before I found one that was nutritionally good and didn't contain HFCS, which I loathe.

I really want to try making my own though. I was thinking this recipe....save money, control ingredients..yes, please!

And while I'm at it, I want to make some of my own bread. I LOVE the bread from the farmer's market, but I want to make it myself so I don't feel like we can only have paninis on Sundays and Mondays (before the bread goes stale). I do not have a bread machine (and won't be buying one)--I was thinking I might try this recipe...or does someone have a better one?

Anything else y'all make at your house instead of buying? I'd love recommendations!

stuff. and things.

lookie, lookie, a picture!

this is our recently-made-over shelf. okay, well I just redecorated the top, but whatever. it was a clutter collector, so this is a huge improvement.

fun things: lacquer boxes holding (randomly) our vitamins which lived on that shelf, other odds and ends. the other box, which is cork (with the pumpkin) has the items that had accumulated there--some bobby pins, a bottle opener, bandaids, I'm not sure what else.

the F was driven allll the way from Augusta. Although the F is my second last name, I am kind of obsessed with it. Matt says no more "F" things in the house any time soon. (I think we are up to four!)

The brass swans will soon be painted. The place where we got married had two swans on the lake on the property. Swans mate for life, y'know, and they are beautiful. They share duties in life (they both take care of building the nest and sitting on eggs) and they work as a team. I'm trying to decide what color they should be (suggestions welcome) but I'm leaning toward yellow. I hope you didn't just faint in surprise. :)

The vase is full of beer bottle caps. We collect them. I think they look pretty, and I've always wanted them to be visible.

The little multicolored thing in front is a solar-powered lantern we got at G@rden Ridge a few months ago. I LOVE it. I'm a sucker for colored glass and a sucker for solar power. Woohoo!

The copper frame is just pretty. I need to print a picture for it. It also pulls in the copper from the item above it (which I recently painted--it originally looked like this) and the copper in my sunflower painting. Basically since this is one huge space I'm trying to pull yellow, green and copper in all over. I also really really want to paint our big piece of furniture copper or a metallic brown and use it for our TV stand. Matt might even go for it!

Oh, and the yellow pitcher is from my sweet sister in law, Tonya. I just love it. And of course that pumpkin? Seasonal. :)

And those bears on a bench are from our honeymoon in Sevierville, TN!

"carbonated water, natural flavor."

I appreciate that those are the only two ingredients listed on the seltzer water I just drank. Sometimes I want a cold, fizzy beverage without the calories, sugar or artificial sweetener. And that fits the bill. :)

I am having one of those days where I feel pulled in eleven directions at once. So. here's-a-what-I'm-a-gonna-do. Let's list it out to make me feel better. Ready? This is probably going to be mostly boring, but maybe you will have insight. And the last one will be fun, I promise.

being responsible:

-make time to get added onto the account matt opened at secu
-make a dinner menu and STICK TO IT (I am good about making it, not so good about sticking to it)
-talk to an accountant in oklahoma and an accountant in nc to figure out the legality of all of the money stuff. post haste.
-find out more about my options for short term d!sability. I am hopeful that I'll have to use that next year and we just got word that work changed it--we now have to take 2 weeks of vacay, not 1, before it kicks in AND we get 60% instead of 66% pay. While I'm thankful to get maternity coverage at all, I still think this is craptastic. Especially doubling the time before it kicks in.

workload:

-I will be working furiously to finish up all of my outstanding photography work. I have two weddings to finish, plus multiple sessions. And I have more coming up. Must. Make. Time.
-I will also be working on some photography blogs. My goal is to get at least six completed at then prepare them to be posted on a schedule. We'll see how this goes.
-Update ye olde website. This keeps getting back-burner-ed.

home:

-For the love of all that is holy, I MUST put some clothes away. My overflowing laundry basket of clean clothes is ridiculous.
-there's a long list here, for sure, but another priority for me is getting the living room finalized. I think we are about 70% of the way there. I'm having a heck of a time trying to slipcover the chairs (I may resort to the staple gun on the underneath of the back of the chair and just hope no one notices--but now I've told you my secret!). I just made the top of our shelf all pretty on Saturday, and I'm working on it.

money:

-confession--Matt and I are still working on a budget. We are actively spending less, saving more and paying down debt, but stupid walk-all-over-ya and the merger and all made things messy. hence the getting on the account he opened thing. we are working on it.

And I know that plenty of people love D@ve R@msey, but I gotta be honest--we are still reeling from that stupid book of his where it took us a zillion pages to get to anything remotely resembling instruction only to find out we had already done the first step. And, what I really want, in this age of digital awesome, is for someone to say--here you go, Carrie--here's an easy-to-follow, comprehensive spreadsheet that will help you and Matt assess your income, expenses and see how nicely your amount of debt is lowering each month, and when you will hit the point of zero debt. I want to plug in some numbers and run with it. We have a spreadsheet but I find it clumsy and complicated.

anyway, moving on.

-also, a few of my clients have paid me in cash recently (thank you!) and instead of depositing that, we are playing the see-how-long-it-can-stretch game.

FUN!:

-crafts are fun, right? This weekend's goal is a fall wreath! I love love LOVE the one from Renee last year but since it hung on our front door for like eight months, I feel like I need something else for now. :) I have some burlap and some yarn and I want to get some felt too.

I have some inspiration here.

-it's halloween weekend! Matt and I have our costumes all figured out, but I have to make them. hint: it involves, amongst other things, freezer paper stenciling and a trip to the liquor store. :)

-figuring out what to wear for work's halloween party on monday

-and going to the KD Initiati0n at Bet@Ch! will be fun too. Or, um, I hope so. Mostly that has been want-to-pull-out-my-hair-feeling-inducing, but oh well!

and the rest? well, it can wait. for now. :)

buon compleanno. or "...and I'm a big fan of bartering!"

I now write to you as a thirty-one year old. :)

this birthday weekend was pretty wonderful, I must say. despite the universe seeing fit to give me a sinus infection for my birthday, and although I am not super happy with my hair color--my birthday was still a success. YAY!

thursday: food truck k!ng in raleigh. DISASTER-ish. The premise was amazing (food truck sales benefitting meals on wheels? awesome!) but the execution was sorely lasting. We bought the special get-a-taste-from-all-trucks-and-two-beers tickets, but their crowd control was terrible and we only got to taste food from 5 trucks. Bummer. Plus, my fave place only got second!

friday: I stayed home. I planned on sleeping in. Instead I went to my ENT and ended up with two prescriptions. Stupid sinus infection. BUT I am feeling much better, so I can only complain a little. Then I went to get my hair cut and colored and then took birthday nap #1. We had dinner at the fabulous N@ntucket Grill, I enjoyed some carrot cake, we ran a few errands and came home to hang out. Loved it!

saturday: farmer's market followed by Bruegger's and a trip to 0x and R@bbit to get a malt, because it made me happy. I also got a cool Durham mug (I will add in pictures later!) and some post cards. We came home and Matt gave me my birthday present early so I could enjoy them--I got some gold T0ms! Then Matt went to soccer while I went to the mall. I got some birthday goodies (and local folks, if you like scarves L!festyles in S0uthp0int has some cute inexpensive ones!), came home and got ready for Courtney and Derek's party.

I went there for about an hour, then we had sushi with Christy and her son Jack (who has been at all of my bdays since he was a baby in the belly!) and then went to Fullste@m. The fabulous Kl@usie's Pizza was there, and I got free birthday pizza. :) I also gave them some of my cupcakes, and I think I might be taking their baby pictures once their little girl arrives (they just found out the gender last week!). I gave them my card and they said they'll be calling me, but I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch! Matt teased me because when I gave my card I said "...and I'm a big fan of bartering!" Ha.

I also LOVED giving out the cupcakes. There was the singing and the blowing out of candles, and then when my friends had gotten their cupcakes I went to the food truck, the bartenders and then to some of the people in the bar sharing my cupcakes. I enjoyed it, for sure. And some people were SUPER happy to have gotten cupcakes. :)

It was WONDERFUL to have so many friends with me, phone calls, text messages and facebook posts on my wall on Saturday and Sunday. I felt very loved!!

sunday: church, brunch at Tyler's, a birthday nap and then I went to do a photoshoot. I normally wouldn't do a session on my birthday, BUT these folks are from Denver, their two-year-old son and I share the same birthday, and they were in town for a wedding on Saturday, so it was truly the only chance. I am SO glad I did it though. And I brought the little boy a birthday present--a small green plush dinosaur--and he LOVED it. It was super cute, and the parents were thrilled, too. Yay for birthday-sharing!

for dinner we went to PF Ch@ngs. Well, back up--we were going to go to one of the R0cky T0p restaurants because they give free dinners for birthday-folk on their actual bday. But, the closest one is 25 minutes away, so I nixed that idea. We were going to get PF Ch@ngs to go--but when we called at 7:25 they told us our food would be ready at 9:10. SERIOUSLY. It turns out they were doing some amazing to-go special, but whoa. Crazy.

so...after not finding a suitable substitute we decide to call and see what the wait was--and it was zero minutes. We ended up eating there, got an upgraded dessert for my birthday and were back home before 9pm. It worked out wonderfully, and now we know how to find out about the to-go specials (and call in our order early enough that we won't eat at 930!)

I do have some pictures--and I'm hoping to add them later. Just wanted to chronicle my birthday festivities! And I am excited because they aren't even over yet--I have more friends with whom to celebrate! I think my Aunt Candi hit the nail on the head--it's like the older I get the longer my birthday lasts, because I have more friends and family to celebrate with every year. Which makes me super lucky indeed. :)

oh, oh, oh, for the longest time

~billy joel

yesterday I had 3400 unread emails in my inbox. THIRTY-FOUR-HUNDRED. seriously.

it's my gmail I use for all sorts of things--I still get some photography emails there, personal stuff, logins for amazon and jcrew and everything else. you name it, I probably get it there (or used to, anyway!)

so, yesterday I cleaned that puppy out. turns out the oldest unread message was from EARLY JULY. Are you kidding me? It had been more than a HUNDRED DAYS.

right.

so. tomorrow I am taking the day off. despite trying to limit my PTO usage, I have declared tomorrow a "Carrie Day." I think I'm going to get my hair did, get allergy drop refills and try to get caught up on some aspects of my life that have been ignored. (laundry. cat litter. sewing projects. etc.) While this may not sound super-refreshing, I can guarantee that having a more put-together reality will TOTALLY help.

am I right?

hopefully.

today I am also leaving work early to go to F00d Truck K!ng. It should be fun. Pictures forthcoming, I am sure!

i heart fall.

the time of the fair. and sweaters. and hot drinks and cool nights. of wearing socks and changing leaves and lots of orange and yellow and purple. gloves and coats, open windows, heavier blankets, apples!, pumpkins, butternut squash (now a fave. last year I had NO idea how delicious it was. mmm mmm mmm.)

it's my favorite.

and this year, while my family stuff is dragging me down, that's what I'm trying to remind myself of--that it's FALL. It's my favorite time of year. I should grab my not-pregnant self a delicious fall beer (Shipy@rd Pumpk!nhead is AMAZINGLY amazing), throw on my favorite pair of T0Ms and enjoy it.

so it's what I'm doing.

on the agenda...

-go the the FAIR! this Saturday!

-do some awesome fall photo sessions (I've given away three sessions recently--I must be crazy--but I'm SO excited)

-take some pictures of leaves. I LOVE that I can see some beautiful ones outside from my cube at work. I think I'm going to have to talk Matt into driving down the Blue Ridge Parkway (and maybe hiking) one day later this month or in November.

-celebrate my birthday. only twelve more days! :)

-enjoy more fall beer.

then? repeat. :)

I don't wanna.

I don't wanna hear that such-and-such and I could maybe be pregnant at the same time because they're thinking of trying in three-six-nine-twelve months.

I don't wanna hear (from faceb00k, no less) that my brother (who got married in july, who announced his engagement via faceb00k without a call/text/etc to me or TO MY MOM beforehand) thinks that if we don't hurry up, I might just be an auntie before I'm a mommie.

And I really don't want to hear "just relax." Or "it'll happen when the time is right."

It's not that I don't appreciate the support.
It's not that I don't looooove babies. ('cause I love 'em. a lot. they are cute and cuddly and wonderfully made)
And it's not that I don't want to talk about it.

It's just that right now what I really want to hear isn't positive or uplifting. This is difficult. It's thought-consuming. It's frustrating and I have zero control. And trying to get pregnant? Not a cakewalk. Especially when you're always hearing someone comment in one way or another. It's like hearing a constant "better luck next time!" A well-meaning, from-someone-I-love statement that is like rubbing salt in a wound.

Anyhoodle. Just on my mind. If you're reading this and wondering if you should just not talk to me about it--don't worry, you can. Just please don't come with lots of sunshine and daisies, or Imagonna have to rain on your parade a little. :)

next up, something WAY more positive, I swear!

a little crazy.

this year Matt and I have done some things that are a little crazy.

in June we drove up to DC to see little Lily, my good friend Mary Alise's newborn girl. We drove up on a Sunday (~4.5 hours of driving), hung out for 4 hours, ate dinner with them and then drove back! This was not our intention--we were going to get a hotel and they even offered us a room--but this meant that Matt could get back to school, so we did. I blogged about it earlier this year.

in, what was it, June? July? I drove to Asheville for the afternoon. There was TORRENTIAL rain, I got soaked while at a gas station (seriously I couldn't even get to the handle for the gas that was already IN MY CAR because of the rain, it was crazy) and I had my kindle read me book 2 of the hunger games series to keep me entertained. I went there to visit Renee before she moved back to OK from Atlanta. (it makes me sad that she's no longer in driving distance). We met up, hung out, walked around to the shops, ate dinner and then got on the road. I drove nearly 8 hours that day. Exhausting but totally worth it.

and then this weekend we went to Ohio. Well, let me back up. Wednesday little Caroline was born. I am her Aunt Carrie (not in the by-blood-or-marriage way, in the friends are the family your choose for yourself kind of way). Thursday I worked late, ran errands and made soup. Friday I spent 4 hours photographing a rehearsal dinner. Saturday AM I was supposed to have a newborn session that got postponed, I brought soup to the family anyway and I spent 8 hours photographing a wedding. I got home at 1130pm, backed up the photos, packed up newborn props, camera stuff and snacks and went to bed around 1am.

At 4:30 my alarm went off. We got up, finished packing, did the last minute things, loaded the car and got on the road at 6:30. Where were we going? Dayton, Ohio, that's where.

We got there around 3 am then the real fun began. I took like 800 pictures of Caroline. We had yummy Mexican food. I held her. And held her. And had fun with Jessica's parents. I met Cody's mom for the first time, I think, (I think I'd met his dad before, maybe) and then I took even more pictures. We slept at Jessica & Cody's friend's house, got up early, visited DLM for some "k!ller brownies" and groceries, went back to their house, made soup, took more pictures and then got on the road.

We drove for 17+ hours and were in Dayton for ~24, only ~15 of which were actually at their house. But it meant I got to take pics like this, so I'm not complaining. :)


And I got to see my little niece when she was just five days old. She is SO adorable, has a head full of hair and is going to be so much fun, I can tell. I love her so much! I actually got a little teary last night while editing more of her photos because I wish I could just drive to Jessica's house and cuddle little Caroline some more. :)

irregular in my blogging, I know, I know.

I have discovered that I'm just not as good at doing this on a regular basis as I used to be. But I promise, I am trying...

I think part of it is because of photography.
And part of it is pinterest.
And the ever-present book-with-the-face.

Oh, and working. That too. :)

But, I have good news:

1. I am editing things at lightning speed right now. (knock on wood) I'm not sure what happened. I'm not asking questions. I'm just enjoying it. I'm sure the rehearsal dinner, wedding and two newborn session this weekend will slow my roll, but I like not stressing about the deadlines! I am actually allllll done with last weekend's sessions!

2. I will be sharing fun things on my photography blog today. Just you wait. :)

3. It is almost my favorite month! There are many amazing things about October, so I'm sure I'll be posting. (although, I'm also nervous about it being October. I'm not sure how I feel about turning 31. I liked 30. I'm not so sure about 31 yet.)

"well, I live in durham but I'm actually from oklahoma."

I say this often. Like, really really often. pretty much every time I meet someone new.

I hated the question that warrants this answer for a looooong time. I still don't love it. But now I find it tolerable. Because it usually follows up with "what brought you here?" I am now comfortable enough to say "a guy who isn't in the picture anymore" or, sometimes "my ex-husband" depending on how well I think I will get to know you.

today as I was walking into work, practically doing gleeful cartwheels as I enjoyed this chillier weather (oh fall, I love you.) I was thinking about north carolina. And life. And just the random my-caffeine-hasn't-kicked-in-yet thoughts that were tumbling about in my noggin.

And somehow it occurred to me: not only have I lived in North Carolina for eight years (longer than middle and high school combined!) but it's official: other than the home on 36th street that I grew up in, I've never lived anywhere as long as I've lived at my townhome. We are well past the three year mark, what what!?

hurricane #2.

the last time I experienced a hurricane firsthand was 2003. it was in september, and I had just moved here like two months before. It was crazy--no bread, no milk, no eggs, no bottled water to be had--all for some wind and rain and a few hours without power. I remember thinking that I didn't get what all the fuss was about (and I still stand by my point that the people should be prepared in advance and that buying milk and eggs when you're at risk of losing power for days is pretty foolish). But then I saw some of the devastation caused by Isabel, and I understood the crazy. Maybe not totally, but I understood to some extent.

well, this weekend marked hurricane #2. Irene. oh, those hurricanes that start with "I." there's been substantial damage to our coast. roadways torn up, people without power, coastal erosion.

(And I just realized that I typed "our" coast--guess I'm claiming NC now!)

We lost power for a little bit--and when it came back on we had to flip the breakers to get the whole house functioning (only the lowest level went back on). There were limbs down and the like.

But the worst part of it all has been reading the insensitive posts on facebook. People saying "I survived Irene--well, the media coverage" or saying that the east coast is made of a bunch of wimps if they're getting this excited over a category two.

People DIED. Hundreds of thousands are without power. Roadways are torn up, people are unable to get good and supplies. It's a big deal.

I'll be more positive tomorrow. :D Just appalled by some people!

I have been having trouble sleeping...

but my dreams have involved beds.

the irony is not lost on me.

all I remember is that I was trying to pick out a bed. I think we were shopping for it.

which, amongst all of the other meanings, seems like it's about me needing to find peace. or escape.

and i'm-a-gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that might be family-craziness related. perhaps. maybe.

but? I am channeling all of my negativity and frustration and overwhelming blah into the following:

1. photos! lots of photos! I really want to do some fun photo shoots this year. I'm thinking about offering mini photo shoots at the fair. Is that totally nuts?

2. projects! lots of projects! up next: sew curtains. sew outdoor pillows. sew bed pillow(s). find curtain rods (I can foretell the future: matt and I will be visiting bed bath and bey0nd soon, armed with 20% off coupons galore and some remaining gift cards). then: identify items to give away, pack away and throw away.

3. decorating! lots of decorating! I have some fun plans for that too...little involving picture frames and screws. (my mom sent me a picture of something I want to recreate) and canvas prints. and floating shelves. etc.

right.

but first? I'd like to get more sleep. It's terribly important, methinks.

perception is reality.

a guy I used to know taught me that phrase--perception is reality. It makes me think of two other important phrases I have learned in life--one is "it all pays the same." the other is "agree to disagree."

these little nuggets of wisdom come in handy pretty often. and I have gotten VERY good at agreeing to disagree, and I still work on remembering, sometimes, that it all pays the same.

I think about how perception is reality really often though.

A couple of days ago a gal I knew in Tulsa and I had lunch. She was telling me how hard it was to live in her previous city--because of other peoples' realities. Like, she has the same kind of crazy ass conversations that I have with my mother or sister (e.g., explaining why, when you have $200 to your name, it is unwise to have a burger and fries delivered to your door, eat half of it, realize it was made wrong, ask for a new one and when they decline to give you one, go ahead and order another one. that's a $45 meal. for a BURGER and FRIES.). And then she told me how, right after being on the phone with her mom, who was in the midst of a ridiculous situation, a gal came to her door, one of her husband's coworkers wives, if I'm recalling correctly, and was in TEARS. In tears because she had told her parents, very specifically, exactly what kind of yacht she wanted, and they had gotten her a yacht that wasn't what she wanted, that it was a terrible yacht, and she was unhappy with it.

hellllllllllo perspective. and perception. and two very different realities.

anyway, it just made me think--about how I know everyone has their own crap with which to deal, and how I thought, today, as I cried a little in my cube, that normal people don't deal with the kind of family bizarro-ness that I'm experiencing. but then I remembered that, to them, it's the same crazy in a different packaging. and somehow that was oddly comforting. :)

"I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now."

I am fully aware that things have changed a LOT since the heyday of my parents or grandparents.

I know that even people ten years older than I am found technology very strange when computers and the internet became a part of daily life.

It is not lost on me that I am lucky enough to have been bitten by the technology bug during my teenage years--so that I am old enough to remember what life was like without a computer, but that computers don't frighten me.

well...

Good news! We are switching from Allst@te to Nati0nwide and we are saving almost TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS over the course of the year. That's pretty kickin' I think.

But.

Poor Matt? He just spent 2 hours at the guy's office. Me? I have spent a minimum of, oh, let's lowball it and say seven hours on the phone with this dude. He's a nice guy. He could probably be the older brother to my father or something. But his technology? It SUCKS.

He couldn't email me a quote. Ever. He couldn't even email me the total amounts of the coverage costs.

He couldn't email me practically anything. I totally get needing a "wet signature" as they say it, but really? You would think that he could pull up the software, pull up the quote we'd already worked out (and the appurtenant policy), have Matt slap on some signatures and be done with it. I'd already given him the number for my card and the routing and account numbers for the monthly draft.

But, in his defense, he works on one of those old-timey computers with a dark screen and green writing, I think. His computer shut down in the middle of his work, he couldn't get the printer to print and basically everything went haywire.

But for REAL? The office needs to get new computers. They are going to lose business this way. Am I asking so much wanting a response to my request in 24 hours? Is it unreasonable for me to want a quote emailed to me rather than faxed (thereby wasting TWO printouts of it). Am I crazy thinking that we should be able to do all of this in advance and then I can just go in, sign it and thank him and be on my way?

I mean, we already went through this once for my business insurance. It took an hour. It was supposed to take twenty minutes.

Yep, it's official--unreasonable or not, I want it all, and I want it now.

"a girl can keep it together. a girl can keep it together..."

~the be good tanyas.

This song just popped into my head and I had to break out ye olde ipod. I suppose it makes sense, though.

I've been feeling a little roller-coaster-ee recently. It's overwhelming.

I've been realizing, too, that I am not overwhelmed by being busy. Instead, it is overwhelming that people have such high expectations of me. And it is hard to not feel overwhelmed when other people are commenting on how crazy you should probably feel. Y'know, because you're so busy. Except you feel kind of wonderfully relaxed about it all.

I mean...

We were home this last weekend!
We had no plans!
Next weekend we're traveling again, but we only planned it a few days ago, and it's to see my incredible in-laws (I am so lucky to think my in-laws are the bees knees, I know!) and it's a chill, not-scheduled, no-obligations or timelines kind of trip.

And I may have plans every night this week, but they are gonna be FUN and EXCITING or at least enjoyable--teaching a teenager about photography tonight, tomorrow I have softball, wednesday I'll be with Nicole and hopefully meeting little Sloan, Thursday is sushi with the gals and then it's the weekend. See? FUN! Exciting! Enjoyable!

Plus, I really liked this weekend. Or, really since last Thursday. Last Thursday my now-officially favorite brewery I've ever been to (and not just because of proximity) was having a special deal where they had mason jar glasses for their Summer B@sil beer for $8--and you kept the glass. Awesomesauce. Matt and I went as soon as he got back from soccer. I heart Fullste@m so very, very much!

On Friday Matt brought me lunch and ate with me downstairs. I worked a lot. And I had a photoshoot that went really well in the evening. And then I came home and Matt and I went out to Mell0w Mushr00m in Americ@n T0bacc0 in Durham. It's one of our go-to date places. The weather was gorgeous so we sat outside. We giggled. I was complimented on my choice of a dark beer. We are just the right amount of our favorite pizzas. The Mighty Me@ty and the G0urmet White. The two most opposite pizzas ever. But ever since our third date, when we ate at the one in downtown Raleigh and ordered the G0urmet White and got the Mighty Me@ty by mistake, it's what we order every time. :) After that we went right back to Fullste@m and had more of their delicious beer.

Saturday I photographed a wedding with the awesome Nicole. It had been far too long since I last saw her, so I was glad to hang out with her all day, even if we were working. And then I came home and took a nap (yes, at 645pm. It was Matt's idea. I am SO glad I did.) And then we watched movies, I sewed a pillow and we just hung out.

And Sunday? Sunday was nuts. And fantastic! Long story short, because of a sale that was going on and my asking a question (can you match the b*stbuy price on a similar TV?), and because I sat there and looked like I wasn't going to make the purchase, we ended up saving $404 total on our new 46' led TV and accessories. $200 of it is because of the question and the look on my face! We won't get to set it up and use it until Wednesday, but we are excited! And it means we can rearrange our living room :D It took us like three and a half hours to figure it all out and make a decision, but we did! And then, while we drove I got to catch up with Renee! We don't talk on the phone very often so it was quite a treat!

And then we went over to Derek and Courtney's new house which we hadn't seen yet. It is CUTE! And we love the layout. The four of us sat around enjoying caprese and Italian beer (and some pomegranate wheat by s@ranac) and watched the flip video of Italy. The part on the gondola is unreal! You can hear it so well! And parts of it were hilarious! We then ate Italian food (of course!) prepared by Courtney, and then just sat around and talked. There was also an episode with the gigantic spider outside. It's a garden spider, but it's BIG and kind of scary looking. Quite funny indeed.

Then Derek convinced us that we should all go outside and play PIG. Or maybe HORSE. And then the fun started--Derek suggested we instead play "ALLORA"--our favorite Italian word. Courtney was in the lead for a while, which was fun. I was the first out, though in the process I did make some pretty ridiculous shots. There was one where we stood behind Courtney's car, where Matt and I made it but C&D did not. And once Courtney and I were both out, there was one where Matt stood in the backyard and made it--and then Derek did too! That one was CRAZY!

Eventually Derek caught up with Matt. And then they started being all Harlem-Globetrotter-y with their shots. After 4 or 5 times of both making it (and a few changes of who made the one that had to be repeated) Matt said "Carrie's taking this shot for me. This one is all her."

So I did.

And I put it in.

And Derek didn't.

So Matt won! :D It was pretty cool being the first person out but still making the game-winning shot. :) Loved it. We've decided this is a tradition we'll embrace every time we go to their house. A Frychardson/K0cis game of Allora. YAY!