after all the folderol...

the guessing game.

2012-01-24T12:11:00.002-05:00

Since last year I have been telling people (typically guys, but sometimes ladies) how inconsiderate it is to play the guessing game. You know the one--she did/didn't do this/that, she must/must not be expecting. I've told my brother about 17 times--this guessing game goes one of two ways. One-the gal isn't actually expecting and you made her feel self-conscious, and if you REALLY hit the mark, you also made her want to cry by reminding her. Two-it's too soon to tell, either because of where she is in her cycle or because it's still early in the pregnancy. Again, awkward-ness, making people self-conscious and a reminder of how things don't go as planned. Also, yet another time you might make the girl cry.

Seriously, people, STOP IT.

Anyhoo--this is not the guessing game I actually meant to write about. Sorry for the tangent.

I meant to talk about the guessing game of what to/not to eat. And use to clean your house. Or to clean your hair/face/body. My friends Jennifer and Christy and I have been talking about it a lot and it. is. complicated. I've mentioned this awesome website before--it's a great resource for many cosmetic products. But it doesn't tell you about everything, and even if you're someone highly educated in organic chemistry (org I and II and four years of research in it), it still doesn't all make sense.

Take, for instance, Polyethylene Glycol. Reading about it makes me nervous even though the ratings aren't complete. And if you google elsewhere, you find out it's not awesome stuff. But what happens when it's a polymer? (and there are MANY versions of it that are polymers) I know that changes the chemical makeup--but how much?

I mean, I'm going to have to admit that there's no way I'm going whole hog and ditching everything that isn't made from, like, water, vinegar, baking soda and essential oils. That just isn't happening any time soon--primarily because I would be ditching an awful lot of stuff that cost good money. So instead I'm trying to re-evaluate what I have, look for huge no-nos and also identify the things that are good and I should keep. And buy more stuff from Burt's Bees since they are local and awesome and even though some people complain that they are owned by a big scary corporate giant, I still think it's putting my money where my mouth is. :)

Next post will have pictures, for sure!

and more to the point

2012-01-05T12:38:00.002-05:00

(pardon the pun. sort of. it was totally intentional!)

so, here's how acupuncture works where I go. I have never been anywhere else, so I have no idea if this is the norm. but I got a question about it. sooooo....

the first time I visited I filled out a little health form and then talked with the acupuncturist. He asked me questions about my health, what brought me to them, what I had as concerns, my stress, etc. He also checked my pulse and looked at my tongue. (as soon as he looked he said "are you highly educated?" apparently I have a "scholar's tongue"--he said the best he could describe it was that my tongue is puffy from thinking so much.)

then, it was to the treatment room, which had two tables similar to a massage table and one chair that reclined (but not a full on recliner). he told me to take off my socks and shoes, push up my sleeves to my elbows and to roll up my jeans to above my knees.

I saw him open up a pack of the little acupuncture needles, closed my eyes and then felt pressure as he began to place them. And then I rested for an hour--just kind of laid there, not exactly sleeping, kind of relaxing/meditating. It was just wonderful, clearly. :) He has since mentioned that the typical time for the rest is ~30 minutes, but that if time allows he lets people rest longer.

some advice:

-go pee right before your session. not really knowing what to expect/ how it worked/ how long it took/ etc, and since I was nervous, I didn't. It meant that I spent the last 20 minutes (I'm guessing here, there's not a clock) trying not to think about needing to pee.

-wear comfy clothes. I've yet to wear yoga pants there, but I always make sure to wear my bootcut jeans instead of my skinny jeans (easier to roll up, and also more comfy) and a shirt that's comfy too.

-if they offer you a blanket and you think there's even the remotest chance you'll need it, take it.

-be open-minded and be prepared to just experience whatever happens. this probably sounds a bit granola-hippie-over-the-top but it's true. trust me. :)

it's been a long time now I'm coming back home.

2012-01-03T12:13:00.000-05:00

~the beatles.

the song is stuck in my head. and it must come from somewhere very very random, as I haven't listened to the beatles in a good long while.

I have tales to tell of our fun in Georgia for the holidays, and of our NYE festivities with our favorite travel buddies, but those will have to wait for another day. y'know, a day where I didn't forget to bring my external hard drive with me to work. :) I am tempted to run home and get it, but right now I'm just going to go without.

instead, I shall tell you about acupuncture, my new hero.

I'd been considering going to acupuncture for months and months. I found a place near Duke that seemed like my cup of tea and started following them on the book o' the face. I even entered a contest on their page and won a free session! So, alls I had to do was get over my pesky fear of needles, right?

[insert maniacal laughter here]

right, like it would be so easy. ha!

so, then my dear friend Christy (who convinced me to look into it in the first place) insisted I call. and reminded me to. so I did. and I am SO GLAD.

I had my first appointment on the 8th of December. And I have gone weekly since. I've had a couple of needles hurt a bit (sometimes you just kind of feel pressure but not pain, sometimes it hurts a little and dissipates and sometimes it hurts and hurts and you ask the nice person to please remove that right now!) and I bruised once (but I have super fair, super sensitive skin so this also isn't surprising). Those are the only negatives.

I led with those so I could gush--because it's gush-worthy.

I love, love LOVE it. I love it because it is relaxing. Like, relaxing in the kind of way where you're in a wee bit of a haze afterward. I love that it can be used to address like 90% of ailments--my acupuncturist basically said that, in general, as long as it isn't a structural issue (his example was calcification of bone) it can likely be helped by acupuncture. It was an excellent choice for me because my obgyn told me to focus on "destressing" since the vast majority of my stress isn't something I can eliminate. And I feel waaaaaay better after.

I also love that it's pretty inexpensive. Even with my massage package dealio (which I am going to use up and cancel!) a massage is like $70-75 with the tip. They are a community acupuncture place (which means there are two tables and a reclining chair in the treatment room, and others may be having the treatment and/or rest time while you are in there). The cool thing about this is it means less cost to the people--they want acupuncture to be affordable for anyone--so you get to choose if you'd prefer to pay anywhere from $15-$40 per session. In short--I get 2.5 one hour acupuncture treatments for the same cost as a single massage. :) My pocket likes this. It doesn't totally replace massage, of course, but it's totally awesome in a completely different way.

I encourage you to try it!

oink, oink.

2011-12-12T18:29:00.001-05:00

I get emails from a website called Feed The Pig. I can't remember who referred me to it, but I find some of its little tricks helpful. And clever. And of course it helps me keep up to date on some tax law changes and the like.

So. I read today's--and found out that FS@ amounts are being capped in 2013.

Last month Matt and I upped my FS@. (if you don't know what a flexible spending @ccount is, google it) We realized that he was eligible to spend money from it, and that we could use it for his teeth/eyes/whatever, in addition to my medical expenses, in the event that we aren't graced with a small fry in 2012. We did the math and will be covered either way. I am a HUGE FAN of FS@s. They are simple, pre-tax $$$ and I don't have to worry about it because it's already taken out of my paycheck. It's easy-peasy. AND before I ever signed up for it, one particularly terrible-for-my-health year I was like $450 away from being eligible to deduct my medical expenses on my taxes--and since I hadn't put anything in flex spending, I just got to pay with all of that with post-tax dollars. yeehaw.

But now? Should-worry-less Carrie just found herself thinking "huh. if it takes us more than X more cycles, not only will we not get to use that $$$ for a small fry, but we also will be limited by what we can contribute in 2013. stupid money. stupid system.

up next? acupuncture. it's kind of really stinkin' awesome. :)

more of the dreams.

2011-12-01T14:02:00.001-05:00

last week I had a dream that a little red bug was biting the palm of my right hand.

last night I had a dream that I pulled a piece of hair out of my eye.

I read about them. I'm not sure what they mean. But I think they are strange.

anyhoodle.

I am ready for the weekend. Jessica and Cody and little bitty Caroline are coming to visit! And I get to take pictures of three really amazing groups this week--all people that I really love to hang out with! :D The three I just mentioned, Emily & Dave and Evan, and Lisa and Richard (and the bump!). It's the best kind of weekend when all of my photography is for people that I call my friends--it always means the best pics!

And, I did something a little crazy. I bought a new lens. A crazy expensive investment of a lens. It's an upgrade of my 50mm that Melissa encouraged me to get years ago. And I KNOW I will love having it! I am super excited to do the sessions!

I swear I have more interesting things to blog about! I will get there some day, I promise. :)

"spring green is much too yellow, sea green is much too pale..."

2011-11-18T12:23:00.001-05:00

~crayola doesn't make a color for your eyes.

oh, kat. she put this song in her little girl's slideshow (go check out her blog for more info) and now it's been stuck in my head.

today is a hot peppermint tea, skinny jeans, ipod kind of day. I spent all day yesterday at a workshop (more on that later). it was AWESOME. lots of new ideas, new motivation and some changes a'comin your way. :)

also, I never know if I want to share these kind of things, but...I went to the lady-parts doctor earlier this week for my annual visit, and we discussed how the main thing I need to do right now is do whatever I can to de-stress.

you'll notice an important thing in the way that is phrased--she didn't tell me to eliminate sources of stress. clearly, I will still have my family, my kaydee responsibilities, my job, my photography, my life. I do not need to live like a hermit, quit traveling, ostracize my family or anything else.

instead, I need to find an effective way to deal with it better. (sorry that sentence sounds awkward. I'm avoiding split infinitives!)

so.

I need suggestions. please help me add to the list.

current plans:
-start using those massages again
-maybe visit an acupuncturist (I've been thinking about this for a long time)
-de-clutter our home (when I am finally done with my to-do list I still feel like I have to clean. and less clutter=less cleaning. we HAVE been making progress, but listing it as a goal helps)
-listen to music more. particularly of the upbeat variety.
-take a relaxing vacation. not an adventure. not with others. just us. :)

any other ideas?

oh delta, oh delta, I hate you, you stink.

2011-11-15T14:08:00.001-05:00

we went to celebrate Christmas with my family this past weekend.

that part? It was grand. We made chili, ate Braum's cookies, enjoyed an assortment of cheeses, had delicious brewskies, giggled a lot, had Tammy's cheesy bread, etc. And peanut butter and banana waffles beforehand for breakfast. It was just delightful!

but.

we flew out of Raleigh on Thursday night. Our plane was 20 minutes late leaving, which made us late getting to ATL. So despite running and huffing and puffing--we missed our plane. Matt even pushed open the shuttles doors so he could get on. It was nuts.

we tried to get the nice airline people (who really were quite nice) to send us to little rock that night so we could drive to t-town and get there at, like, 4am. we were only in town for 2.5 days and I had a 4pm photo shoot, plus we had lunch plans with Adam & Tammy, so that flight getting in around 3 wasn't going to cut it. there was another couple in the same boat--newlyweds heading back from their honeymoon--and we offered to take them with us. all was well, or so we thought.

turns out the nice airline people couldn't make it happen. there's some imaginary 100 mile radius of appropriate re-routing, apparently.

so.

the couple took the later flight to tulsa. we took an early morning flight to OKC which would, theoretically, allow us to drive to tulsa, eat lunch at Big Al's w/ my brother and sister-in-law, go to the bookstore, and return the car and get our actual rental before my 4pm shoot. we had been assured the entire time that our checked suitcase had already been routed to tulsa and would be on the first flight of the morning, so we'd need to go pick it up.

because they were so frustrated with the policy holdup, the nice airline people gave us and the other couple hotel vouchers, two dinner vouchers, two breakfast vouchers and also ended up giving us drink tickets. :) we also got little overnight bags from delta with an XL shirt, razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.

we went to eat at the sweetwater in the airport, tried to remain calm and attempt to secure a car for the am drive from okc-tulsa. we knew it would be tres expensive to keep that same car all weekend and had no idea what had happened with our other reservation (which had been booked on h0twire) so everything was kind of up in the air.

we took the shuttle to our hotel and found out, first, that they only had smoking rooms left.

then, the gentleman in front of me got the last room. they had nine more rooms in the place, but they were allegedly dirty and there weren't enough people to go check them. I waited in that like for ~45 minutes, total.

they took us to another hotel which, blissfully, had us in a room in about 3 seconds. I handed the voucher, she said "room 101," I secured us a spot on the 645am shuttle and off to our room we went.

we went to sleep almost immediately. I set an alarm for 545. with only one other shirt and one pair of underwear, there weren't going to be any decisions to make, so getting ready would be easy. I woke up MANY times during the night though. My phone kept dinging (the third time it happened I realized it was my delta app alerting me about my flight) and right when I'd get to sleep Matt would start snoring. It was a sight.

and then the 530am wakeup call came. the one I didn't ask for. but whatever.

we got to the airport, had our breakfast, got to the gate and, while there, learned that when you prepay for a car companies will usually hold it for 48 hours. so it would be waiting for us when we got there.

there were only 19 people on the flight. we slept the whole time.

we got there, got the car, went on our merry way. we made it to tulsa in an hour and a half, checked out a park for my photo shoot and made it to lunch. mmmm big al's. love that place. we went to the bookstore and then to the airport. Matt commented on how the tides had changed since the day before.

we had a little episode o' forgetfulness and had to turn around to go fill our tank. no big deal.

we went inside and matt dealt with the car while I got our bag. divide and conquer, right? and mind you, we have all of our carry-on luggage still, because we hadn't been to my mom's house yet and had changed cars.

I finally get to talk to someone and guesssssss what? OUR BAG IS IN OKLAHOMA CITY. They inform us we can have it rerouted, which should only take 24 hours but it might not get here until Sunday (aka the day we are leaving!). I ask if someone can pick it up. They say it's up to the baggage agent's discretion, we should have gotten it when we were in OKC though. I remind them we were assured it would be in Tulsa. They are kind of annoyed at the whole thing and give me the number.

Blissfully, the people agree to let Harvey pick it up if he's there by 6. Harvey agrees to get it.

We go to target, do the shoot, go to my mom's house and run errands. At 609 Harvey calls. His phone fails. I get a call from a 405 number. It's a new baggage agent. I have to re-tell my story, provide all four of Harvey's names and plead a little. The woman agrees to let him take the suitcase. Hallelujah!

When Harvey arrives we have ~40 hours left in Tulsa. We all go to Chimis. We hang out at home. I help my mom make chili. The next day we celebrate and then I have photo shoot. It went REALLY well--see? Then we went to dinner with Renee and Mike. And I learned all about 203k loans. :)

On Sunday we stop by to see my friend Laura and to visit my Granny and then we pack up and head to the airport. And the fun begins.

Although I have attempted FOUR times to check in online, I've yet to be able to do it. Also, our flight is delayed 20 minutes and we have a 46 minute layover. Deja vu anyone? Oh AND we don't have seat assignments anymore (though we did previously, I made damn certain of that) and they won't print out our second boarding pass.

We go up to the line at the gate (bypassing the draft b0ulevard wheat that I'd been looking forward to--we get one at the airport every time while we wait for our flight) and are informed we will "have to wait." I kind of freak out at this. I freak out about our very brief layover. I freak out about not having seats when we reserved them. When I learn it's due to a) the class of ticket we bought and b) that I hadn't checked in earlier, I kind of lose it. I tell him it's ridiculous, and that I will not be spending the night in Atlanta. So we had better have seats as far forward as possible, that Delta had already interrupted my entire trip. He tells me that flight attendants usually announce that folks who don't have a connecting seat should stay seated so the others can get by. Matt and I both inform him how well that went last time. I begin to tell him (in short form) and how we already stayed the night in Atlanta, drove two hours, rented another car and then had our baggage go to the wrong place, blah blah blah, and he tells me he will "see what he can do."

Good news: we get row 24.
Better news: it turns out our arrival gate and departure gate at ATL are one and the same.
Even better news: (sort of) we thank our lucky stars that we were in the same terminal for both flights because the trains in Atlanta? yep, they weren't working that sunday. If we had been in another terminal we never would have made it before the doors shut.

Our bags even made it in one piece.

Moral of the story? I am so aggravated that Delta put such a HUGE damper on my weekend. If it had just been the first flight--meh, those things happened, the gate agent was awesome and they ended up comping us (even though they were not required to do so). But when our bag went to OKC and the agent in Tulsa was lippy? Pretty dang annoyed. And then when the seat assignment crap happened? Unacceptable.

I totally get that in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes--I mean, I have food, shelter, clothing and love, I have a nice job and constant internet access, I have plenty of clean water and medicine, etc. I know, I know. But still. This airline was MUCH better when we went to Italy (though they botched our return flight, too) but I'll definitely be avoiding them whenever I can from here on out. Yeesh.

where'd the fall go?

2011-11-02T15:08:00.000-04:00

every year I am bothered by this.
every year it gets worse.
but this year seem extra bad.

it is not the yuletide season yet, folks. we've got thanksgiving to celebrate first.

now, maybe it's easier for me to stave off the christmas crazy because I'm in the church choir, and we start preparing anthems for the holidays in, like, august. but still.

it makes me batty. please, please, PLEASE wait. please. let's celebrate thanksgiving first, mmmkay?

chicken tortilla soup! (aka sneaky additional veggies)

2011-11-01T14:17:00.000-04:00

This recipe started as something toooootally different, so this is my updated version. I make it often and it's one of the few things that I can eat and eat and eat. I usually get tired of food (like, I can handle it for dinner and then lunch and then I'm good) but this I could eat for lunch for a week straight!

the players:
-2 yellow onions chopped
-3 cloves garlic chopped (or more if you like garlic.)
-1 tbsp olive oil
-2tsp chili powder
-1tsp oregano
-1 can crushed tomatoes (sometimes I use two. or one and then a r0tel. especially if I want to make it stretch
-1 can chicken broth (or veggie broth. or my homemade veggie broth. I esp like bullion cubes instead of cans!)
-1 1/4 cup water
-1 can corn
-1 can hominy
-1 can green chile peppers (I only sometimes add this)
-1 can black beans--sometimes more. or sometimes frozen prepared ones
-1 cooked chicken breast--let cool and pull into small pieces. I usually put some adobo seasoning on mine and stick them in the microwave!
-tortilla chips, avocado and sour cream if you like them, and monterey jack cheese

oooh AND the sneaky additional veggies part. recently I've been taking whatever veggies I have on hand, chopping them up, sauteing or steaming them, letting them cool a smidge and then using my handy dandy magic bullet to blend 'em up (with a little water). No one has complained yet. :) Most recently I added some yellow squash, zucchini and lima beans!

what to do:
-prepare all ingredients (cut everything, get the chicken thawing, etc)
-in a big pot heat oil and saute onion and garlic
-stir in chile powder and oregano
-then stir in tomatoes, broth and water (sometimes I chop up the tomatoes more w/ kitchen scissors)
-while it heats, if you haven't yet, cook the chicken
-bring to a boil
-then stir in hominy, corn, chiles, beans, cilantro and chicken
-let boil for ten minutes

serve w/ chips, avocado and cheese. if you like. sour cream and chives are also options! makes about 10 servings, I would say, especially with the additional veggies and water.

and although it's not amazingly amazing for you, it's also not horrible! you could go a LONG way toward improving it by using baked chips and less/no/reduced fat cheese. but even with those things it's still not crazy at all. I estimated the fixins nutritional value with 1.5 oz of chips, 1/4 cup of shredded cheese (which is an over-estimate!) and 2 oz of avocado. The left is for the soup and the right is for the fixins! these are without the additional veggies, so the caloric value would increase a little, but I'm sure you'd also get more vitamins! :)

we live in a beautiful world (yeah we do, yeah we do.)

2011-10-28T16:07:00.003-04:00

~coldplay

It is a gray day in North Carolina. And I friggin love it. I must admit that I wish I were wearing shoes with socks instead of my flats, and I regret not choosing to wear my wool coat, but overall, this weather is RIGHT up my alley and it makes me smile.

PLUS as my amazing friend Courtney pointed out, this gray day makes the trees look that much more amazing. Matt said it made him think of our roadtrip to the Northeast. It's good stuff, people. Good, good stuff.

Thank you, fall, for arriving. I'm going to enjoy some more hot tea now, thanks!

breads

2011-10-27T11:34:00.000-04:00

Nearly every morning I have a green smoothie with an english muffin and egg white sandwich. I often add avocado, red onions or both to the sandwich. I always wait for english muffins to go on sale--and I had to look for a while before I found one that was nutritionally good and didn't contain HFCS, which I loathe.

I really want to try making my own though. I was thinking this recipe....save money, control ingredients..yes, please!

And while I'm at it, I want to make some of my own bread. I LOVE the bread from the farmer's market, but I want to make it myself so I don't feel like we can only have paninis on Sundays and Mondays (before the bread goes stale). I do not have a bread machine (and won't be buying one)--I was thinking I might try this recipe...or does someone have a better one?

Anything else y'all make at your house instead of buying? I'd love recommendations!

stuff. and things.

2011-10-26T11:34:00.000-04:00

lookie, lookie, a picture!

this is our recently-made-over shelf. okay, well I just redecorated the top, but whatever. it was a clutter collector, so this is a huge improvement.

fun things: lacquer boxes holding (randomly) our vitamins which lived on that shelf, other odds and ends. the other box, which is cork (with the pumpkin) has the items that had accumulated there--some bobby pins, a bottle opener, bandaids, I'm not sure what else.

the F was driven allll the way from Augusta. Although the F is my second last name, I am kind of obsessed with it. Matt says no more "F" things in the house any time soon. (I think we are up to four!)

The brass swans will soon be painted. The place where we got married had two swans on the lake on the property. Swans mate for life, y'know, and they are beautiful. They share duties in life (they both take care of building the nest and sitting on eggs) and they work as a team. I'm trying to decide what color they should be (suggestions welcome) but I'm leaning toward yellow. I hope you didn't just faint in surprise. :)

The vase is full of beer bottle caps. We collect them. I think they look pretty, and I've always wanted them to be visible.

The little multicolored thing in front is a solar-powered lantern we got at G@rden Ridge a few months ago. I LOVE it. I'm a sucker for colored glass and a sucker for solar power. Woohoo!

The copper frame is just pretty. I need to print a picture for it. It also pulls in the copper from the item above it (which I recently painted--it originally looked like this) and the copper in my sunflower painting. Basically since this is one huge space I'm trying to pull yellow, green and copper in all over. I also really really want to paint our big piece of furniture copper or a metallic brown and use it for our TV stand. Matt might even go for it!

Oh, and the yellow pitcher is from my sweet sister in law, Tonya. I just love it. And of course that pumpkin? Seasonal. :)

And those bears on a bench are from our honeymoon in Sevierville, TN!

"carbonated water, natural flavor."

2011-10-25T15:27:00.002-04:00

I appreciate that those are the only two ingredients listed on the seltzer water I just drank. Sometimes I want a cold, fizzy beverage without the calories, sugar or artificial sweetener. And that fits the bill. :)

I am having one of those days where I feel pulled in eleven directions at once. So. here's-a-what-I'm-a-gonna-do. Let's list it out to make me feel better. Ready? This is probably going to be mostly boring, but maybe you will have insight. And the last one will be fun, I promise.

being responsible:

-make time to get added onto the account matt opened at secu
-make a dinner menu and STICK TO IT (I am good about making it, not so good about sticking to it)
-talk to an accountant in oklahoma and an accountant in nc to figure out the legality of all of the money stuff. post haste.
-find out more about my options for short term d!sability. I am hopeful that I'll have to use that next year and we just got word that work changed it--we now have to take 2 weeks of vacay, not 1, before it kicks in AND we get 60% instead of 66% pay. While I'm thankful to get maternity coverage at all, I still think this is craptastic. Especially doubling the time before it kicks in.

workload:

-I will be working furiously to finish up all of my outstanding photography work. I have two weddings to finish, plus multiple sessions. And I have more coming up. Must. Make. Time.
-I will also be working on some photography blogs. My goal is to get at least six completed at then prepare them to be posted on a schedule. We'll see how this goes.
-Update ye olde website. This keeps getting back-burner-ed.

home:

-For the love of all that is holy, I MUST put some clothes away. My overflowing laundry basket of clean clothes is ridiculous.
-there's a long list here, for sure, but another priority for me is getting the living room finalized. I think we are about 70% of the way there. I'm having a heck of a time trying to slipcover the chairs (I may resort to the staple gun on the underneath of the back of the chair and just hope no one notices--but now I've told you my secret!). I just made the top of our shelf all pretty on Saturday, and I'm working on it.

money:

-confession--Matt and I are still working on a budget. We are actively spending less, saving more and paying down debt, but stupid walk-all-over-ya and the merger and all made things messy. hence the getting on the account he opened thing. we are working on it.

And I know that plenty of people love D@ve R@msey, but I gotta be honest--we are still reeling from that stupid book of his where it took us a zillion pages to get to anything remotely resembling instruction only to find out we had already done the first step. And, what I really want, in this age of digital awesome, is for someone to say--here you go, Carrie--here's an easy-to-follow, comprehensive spreadsheet that will help you and Matt assess your income, expenses and see how nicely your amount of debt is lowering each month, and when you will hit the point of zero debt. I want to plug in some numbers and run with it. We have a spreadsheet but I find it clumsy and complicated.

anyway, moving on.

-also, a few of my clients have paid me in cash recently (thank you!) and instead of depositing that, we are playing the see-how-long-it-can-stretch game.

FUN!:

-crafts are fun, right? This weekend's goal is a fall wreath! I love love LOVE the one from Renee last year but since it hung on our front door for like eight months, I feel like I need something else for now. :) I have some burlap and some yarn and I want to get some felt too.

I have some inspiration here.

-it's halloween weekend! Matt and I have our costumes all figured out, but I have to make them. hint: it involves, amongst other things, freezer paper stenciling and a trip to the liquor store. :)

-figuring out what to wear for work's halloween party on monday

-and going to the KD Initiati0n at Bet@Ch! will be fun too. Or, um, I hope so. Mostly that has been want-to-pull-out-my-hair-feeling-inducing, but oh well!

and the rest? well, it can wait. for now. :)

buon compleanno. or "...and I'm a big fan of bartering!"

2011-10-24T11:59:00.003-04:00

I now write to you as a thirty-one year old. :)

this birthday weekend was pretty wonderful, I must say. despite the universe seeing fit to give me a sinus infection for my birthday, and although I am not super happy with my hair color--my birthday was still a success. YAY!

thursday: food truck k!ng in raleigh. DISASTER-ish. The premise was amazing (food truck sales benefitting meals on wheels? awesome!) but the execution was sorely lasting. We bought the special get-a-taste-from-all-trucks-and-two-beers tickets, but their crowd control was terrible and we only got to taste food from 5 trucks. Bummer. Plus, my fave place only got second!

friday: I stayed home. I planned on sleeping in. Instead I went to my ENT and ended up with two prescriptions. Stupid sinus infection. BUT I am feeling much better, so I can only complain a little. Then I went to get my hair cut and colored and then took birthday nap #1. We had dinner at the fabulous N@ntucket Grill, I enjoyed some carrot cake, we ran a few errands and came home to hang out. Loved it!

saturday: farmer's market followed by Bruegger's and a trip to 0x and R@bbit to get a malt, because it made me happy. I also got a cool Durham mug (I will add in pictures later!) and some post cards. We came home and Matt gave me my birthday present early so I could enjoy them--I got some gold T0ms! Then Matt went to soccer while I went to the mall. I got some birthday goodies (and local folks, if you like scarves L!festyles in S0uthp0int has some cute inexpensive ones!), came home and got ready for Courtney and Derek's party.

I went there for about an hour, then we had sushi with Christy and her son Jack (who has been at all of my bdays since he was a baby in the belly!) and then went to Fullste@m. The fabulous Kl@usie's Pizza was there, and I got free birthday pizza. :) I also gave them some of my cupcakes, and I think I might be taking their baby pictures once their little girl arrives (they just found out the gender last week!). I gave them my card and they said they'll be calling me, but I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch! Matt teased me because when I gave my card I said "...and I'm a big fan of bartering!" Ha.

I also LOVED giving out the cupcakes. There was the singing and the blowing out of candles, and then when my friends had gotten their cupcakes I went to the food truck, the bartenders and then to some of the people in the bar sharing my cupcakes. I enjoyed it, for sure. And some people were SUPER happy to have gotten cupcakes. :)

It was WONDERFUL to have so many friends with me, phone calls, text messages and facebook posts on my wall on Saturday and Sunday. I felt very loved!!

sunday: church, brunch at Tyler's, a birthday nap and then I went to do a photoshoot. I normally wouldn't do a session on my birthday, BUT these folks are from Denver, their two-year-old son and I share the same birthday, and they were in town for a wedding on Saturday, so it was truly the only chance. I am SO glad I did it though. And I brought the little boy a birthday present--a small green plush dinosaur--and he LOVED it. It was super cute, and the parents were thrilled, too. Yay for birthday-sharing!

for dinner we went to PF Ch@ngs. Well, back up--we were going to go to one of the R0cky T0p restaurants because they give free dinners for birthday-folk on their actual bday. But, the closest one is 25 minutes away, so I nixed that idea. We were going to get PF Ch@ngs to go--but when we called at 7:25 they told us our food would be ready at 9:10. SERIOUSLY. It turns out they were doing some amazing to-go special, but whoa. Crazy.

so...after not finding a suitable substitute we decide to call and see what the wait was--and it was zero minutes. We ended up eating there, got an upgraded dessert for my birthday and were back home before 9pm. It worked out wonderfully, and now we know how to find out about the to-go specials (and call in our order early enough that we won't eat at 930!)

I do have some pictures--and I'm hoping to add them later. Just wanted to chronicle my birthday festivities! And I am excited because they aren't even over yet--I have more friends with whom to celebrate! I think my Aunt Candi hit the nail on the head--it's like the older I get the longer my birthday lasts, because I have more friends and family to celebrate with every year. Which makes me super lucky indeed. :)

oh, oh, oh, for the longest time

2011-10-20T15:17:00.003-04:00

~billy joel

yesterday I had 3400 unread emails in my inbox. THIRTY-FOUR-HUNDRED. seriously.

it's my gmail I use for all sorts of things--I still get some photography emails there, personal stuff, logins for amazon and jcrew and everything else. you name it, I probably get it there (or used to, anyway!)

so, yesterday I cleaned that puppy out. turns out the oldest unread message was from EARLY JULY. Are you kidding me? It had been more than a HUNDRED DAYS.

right.

so. tomorrow I am taking the day off. despite trying to limit my PTO usage, I have declared tomorrow a "Carrie Day." I think I'm going to get my hair did, get allergy drop refills and try to get caught up on some aspects of my life that have been ignored. (laundry. cat litter. sewing projects. etc.) While this may not sound super-refreshing, I can guarantee that having a more put-together reality will TOTALLY help.

am I right?

hopefully.

today I am also leaving work early to go to F00d Truck K!ng. It should be fun. Pictures forthcoming, I am sure!

i heart fall.

2011-10-11T12:14:00.002-04:00

the time of the fair. and sweaters. and hot drinks and cool nights. of wearing socks and changing leaves and lots of orange and yellow and purple. gloves and coats, open windows, heavier blankets, apples!, pumpkins, butternut squash (now a fave. last year I had NO idea how delicious it was. mmm mmm mmm.)

it's my favorite.

and this year, while my family stuff is dragging me down, that's what I'm trying to remind myself of--that it's FALL. It's my favorite time of year. I should grab my not-pregnant self a delicious fall beer (Shipy@rd Pumpk!nhead is AMAZINGLY amazing), throw on my favorite pair of T0Ms and enjoy it.

so it's what I'm doing.

on the agenda...

-go the the FAIR! this Saturday!

-do some awesome fall photo sessions (I've given away three sessions recently--I must be crazy--but I'm SO excited)

-take some pictures of leaves. I LOVE that I can see some beautiful ones outside from my cube at work. I think I'm going to have to talk Matt into driving down the Blue Ridge Parkway (and maybe hiking) one day later this month or in November.

-celebrate my birthday. only twelve more days! :)

-enjoy more fall beer.

then? repeat. :)

I don't wanna.

2011-10-05T12:13:00.002-04:00

I don't wanna hear that such-and-such and I could maybe be pregnant at the same time because they're thinking of trying in three-six-nine-twelve months.

I don't wanna hear (from faceb00k, no less) that my brother (who got married in july, who announced his engagement via faceb00k without a call/text/etc to me or TO MY MOM beforehand) thinks that if we don't hurry up, I might just be an auntie before I'm a mommie.

And I really don't want to hear "just relax." Or "it'll happen when the time is right."

It's not that I don't appreciate the support.
It's not that I don't looooove babies. ('cause I love 'em. a lot. they are cute and cuddly and wonderfully made)
And it's not that I don't want to talk about it.

It's just that right now what I really want to hear isn't positive or uplifting. This is difficult. It's thought-consuming. It's frustrating and I have zero control. And trying to get pregnant? Not a cakewalk. Especially when you're always hearing someone comment in one way or another. It's like hearing a constant "better luck next time!" A well-meaning, from-someone-I-love statement that is like rubbing salt in a wound.

Anyhoodle. Just on my mind. If you're reading this and wondering if you should just not talk to me about it--don't worry, you can. Just please don't come with lots of sunshine and daisies, or Imagonna have to rain on your parade a little. :)

next up, something WAY more positive, I swear!

a little crazy.

2011-10-05T07:22:00.000-04:00

this year Matt and I have done some things that are a little crazy.

in June we drove up to DC to see little Lily, my good friend Mary Alise's newborn girl. We drove up on a Sunday (~4.5 hours of driving), hung out for 4 hours, ate dinner with them and then drove back! This was not our intention--we were going to get a hotel and they even offered us a room--but this meant that Matt could get back to school, so we did. I blogged about it earlier this year.

in, what was it, June? July? I drove to Asheville for the afternoon. There was TORRENTIAL rain, I got soaked while at a gas station (seriously I couldn't even get to the handle for the gas that was already IN MY CAR because of the rain, it was crazy) and I had my kindle read me book 2 of the hunger games series to keep me entertained. I went there to visit Renee before she moved back to OK from Atlanta. (it makes me sad that she's no longer in driving distance). We met up, hung out, walked around to the shops, ate dinner and then got on the road. I drove nearly 8 hours that day. Exhausting but totally worth it.

and then this weekend we went to Ohio. Well, let me back up. Wednesday little Caroline was born. I am her Aunt Carrie (not in the by-blood-or-marriage way, in the friends are the family your choose for yourself kind of way). Thursday I worked late, ran errands and made soup. Friday I spent 4 hours photographing a rehearsal dinner. Saturday AM I was supposed to have a newborn session that got postponed, I brought soup to the family anyway and I spent 8 hours photographing a wedding. I got home at 1130pm, backed up the photos, packed up newborn props, camera stuff and snacks and went to bed around 1am.

At 4:30 my alarm went off. We got up, finished packing, did the last minute things, loaded the car and got on the road at 6:30. Where were we going? Dayton, Ohio, that's where.

We got there around 3 am then the real fun began. I took like 800 pictures of Caroline. We had yummy Mexican food. I held her. And held her. And had fun with Jessica's parents. I met Cody's mom for the first time, I think, (I think I'd met his dad before, maybe) and then I took even more pictures. We slept at Jessica & Cody's friend's house, got up early, visited DLM for some "k!ller brownies" and groceries, went back to their house, made soup, took more pictures and then got on the road.

We drove for 17+ hours and were in Dayton for ~24, only ~15 of which were actually at their house. But it meant I got to take pics like this, so I'm not complaining. :)

And I got to see my little niece when she was just five days old. She is SO adorable, has a head full of hair and is going to be so much fun, I can tell. I love her so much! I actually got a little teary last night while editing more of her photos because I wish I could just drive to Jessica's house and cuddle little Caroline some more. :)

irregular in my blogging, I know, I know.

2011-09-29T11:14:00.002-04:00

I have discovered that I'm just not as good at doing this on a regular basis as I used to be. But I promise, I am trying...

I think part of it is because of photography.
And part of it is pinterest.
And the ever-present book-with-the-face.

Oh, and working. That too. :)

But, I have good news:

1. I am editing things at lightning speed right now. (knock on wood) I'm not sure what happened. I'm not asking questions. I'm just enjoying it. I'm sure the rehearsal dinner, wedding and two newborn session this weekend will slow my roll, but I like not stressing about the deadlines! I am actually allllll done with last weekend's sessions!

2. I will be sharing fun things on my photography blog today. Just you wait. :)

3. It is almost my favorite month! There are many amazing things about October, so I'm sure I'll be posting. (although, I'm also nervous about it being October. I'm not sure how I feel about turning 31. I liked 30. I'm not so sure about 31 yet.)

"well, I live in durham but I'm actually from oklahoma."

2011-09-16T13:34:00.002-04:00

I say this often. Like, really really often. pretty much every time I meet someone new.

I hated the question that warrants this answer for a looooong time. I still don't love it. But now I find it tolerable. Because it usually follows up with "what brought you here?" I am now comfortable enough to say "a guy who isn't in the picture anymore" or, sometimes "my ex-husband" depending on how well I think I will get to know you.

today as I was walking into work, practically doing gleeful cartwheels as I enjoyed this chillier weather (oh fall, I love you.) I was thinking about north carolina. And life. And just the random my-caffeine-hasn't-kicked-in-yet thoughts that were tumbling about in my noggin.

And somehow it occurred to me: not only have I lived in North Carolina for eight years (longer than middle and high school combined!) but it's official: other than the home on 36th street that I grew up in, I've never lived anywhere as long as I've lived at my townhome. We are well past the three year mark, what what!?

hurricane #2.

2011-08-29T12:02:00.003-04:00

the last time I experienced a hurricane firsthand was 2003. it was in september, and I had just moved here like two months before. It was crazy--no bread, no milk, no eggs, no bottled water to be had--all for some wind and rain and a few hours without power. I remember thinking that I didn't get what all the fuss was about (and I still stand by my point that the people should be prepared in advance and that buying milk and eggs when you're at risk of losing power for days is pretty foolish). But then I saw some of the devastation caused by Isabel, and I understood the crazy. Maybe not totally, but I understood to some extent.

well, this weekend marked hurricane #2. Irene. oh, those hurricanes that start with "I." there's been substantial damage to our coast. roadways torn up, people without power, coastal erosion.

(And I just realized that I typed "our" coast--guess I'm claiming NC now!)

We lost power for a little bit--and when it came back on we had to flip the breakers to get the whole house functioning (only the lowest level went back on). There were limbs down and the like.

But the worst part of it all has been reading the insensitive posts on facebook. People saying "I survived Irene--well, the media coverage" or saying that the east coast is made of a bunch of wimps if they're getting this excited over a category two.

People DIED. Hundreds of thousands are without power. Roadways are torn up, people are unable to get good and supplies. It's a big deal.

I'll be more positive tomorrow. :D Just appalled by some people!

I have been having trouble sleeping...

2011-08-23T17:04:00.002-04:00

but my dreams have involved beds.

the irony is not lost on me.

all I remember is that I was trying to pick out a bed. I think we were shopping for it.

which, amongst all of the other meanings, seems like it's about me needing to find peace. or escape.

and i'm-a-gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that might be family-craziness related. perhaps. maybe.

but? I am channeling all of my negativity and frustration and overwhelming blah into the following:

1. photos! lots of photos! I really want to do some fun photo shoots this year. I'm thinking about offering mini photo shoots at the fair. Is that totally nuts?

2. projects! lots of projects! up next: sew curtains. sew outdoor pillows. sew bed pillow(s). find curtain rods (I can foretell the future: matt and I will be visiting bed bath and bey0nd soon, armed with 20% off coupons galore and some remaining gift cards). then: identify items to give away, pack away and throw away.

3. decorating! lots of decorating! I have some fun plans for that too...little involving picture frames and screws. (my mom sent me a picture of something I want to recreate) and canvas prints. and floating shelves. etc.

right.

but first? I'd like to get more sleep. It's terribly important, methinks.

perception is reality.

2011-08-19T15:46:00.002-04:00

a guy I used to know taught me that phrase--perception is reality. It makes me think of two other important phrases I have learned in life--one is "it all pays the same." the other is "agree to disagree."

these little nuggets of wisdom come in handy pretty often. and I have gotten VERY good at agreeing to disagree, and I still work on remembering, sometimes, that it all pays the same.

I think about how perception is reality really often though.

A couple of days ago a gal I knew in Tulsa and I had lunch. She was telling me how hard it was to live in her previous city--because of other peoples' realities. Like, she has the same kind of crazy ass conversations that I have with my mother or sister (e.g., explaining why, when you have $200 to your name, it is unwise to have a burger and fries delivered to your door, eat half of it, realize it was made wrong, ask for a new one and when they decline to give you one, go ahead and order another one. that's a $45 meal. for a BURGER and FRIES.). And then she told me how, right after being on the phone with her mom, who was in the midst of a ridiculous situation, a gal came to her door, one of her husband's coworkers wives, if I'm recalling correctly, and was in TEARS. In tears because she had told her parents, very specifically, exactly what kind of yacht she wanted, and they had gotten her a yacht that wasn't what she wanted, that it was a terrible yacht, and she was unhappy with it.

hellllllllllo perspective. and perception. and two very different realities.

anyway, it just made me think--about how I know everyone has their own crap with which to deal, and how I thought, today, as I cried a little in my cube, that normal people don't deal with the kind of family bizarro-ness that I'm experiencing. but then I remembered that, to them, it's the same crazy in a different packaging. and somehow that was oddly comforting. :)

"I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now."

2011-08-16T14:00:00.003-04:00

I am fully aware that things have changed a LOT since the heyday of my parents or grandparents.

I know that even people ten years older than I am found technology very strange when computers and the internet became a part of daily life.

It is not lost on me that I am lucky enough to have been bitten by the technology bug during my teenage years--so that I am old enough to remember what life was like without a computer, but that computers don't frighten me.

well...

Good news! We are switching from Allst@te to Nati0nwide and we are saving almost TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS over the course of the year. That's pretty kickin' I think.

But.

Poor Matt? He just spent 2 hours at the guy's office. Me? I have spent a minimum of, oh, let's lowball it and say seven hours on the phone with this dude. He's a nice guy. He could probably be the older brother to my father or something. But his technology? It SUCKS.

He couldn't email me a quote. Ever. He couldn't even email me the total amounts of the coverage costs.

He couldn't email me practically anything. I totally get needing a "wet signature" as they say it, but really? You would think that he could pull up the software, pull up the quote we'd already worked out (and the appurtenant policy), have Matt slap on some signatures and be done with it. I'd already given him the number for my card and the routing and account numbers for the monthly draft.

But, in his defense, he works on one of those old-timey computers with a dark screen and green writing, I think. His computer shut down in the middle of his work, he couldn't get the printer to print and basically everything went haywire.

But for REAL? The office needs to get new computers. They are going to lose business this way. Am I asking so much wanting a response to my request in 24 hours? Is it unreasonable for me to want a quote emailed to me rather than faxed (thereby wasting TWO printouts of it). Am I crazy thinking that we should be able to do all of this in advance and then I can just go in, sign it and thank him and be on my way?

I mean, we already went through this once for my business insurance. It took an hour. It was supposed to take twenty minutes.

Yep, it's official--unreasonable or not, I want it all, and I want it now.

"a girl can keep it together. a girl can keep it together..."

2011-08-15T16:21:00.004-04:00

~the be good tanyas.

This song just popped into my head and I had to break out ye olde ipod. I suppose it makes sense, though.

I've been feeling a little roller-coaster-ee recently. It's overwhelming.

I've been realizing, too, that I am not overwhelmed by being busy. Instead, it is overwhelming that people have such high expectations of me. And it is hard to not feel overwhelmed when other people are commenting on how crazy you should probably feel. Y'know, because you're so busy. Except you feel kind of wonderfully relaxed about it all.

I mean...

We were home this last weekend!
We had no plans!
Next weekend we're traveling again, but we only planned it a few days ago, and it's to see my incredible in-laws (I am so lucky to think my in-laws are the bees knees, I know!) and it's a chill, not-scheduled, no-obligations or timelines kind of trip.

And I may have plans every night this week, but they are gonna be FUN and EXCITING or at least enjoyable--teaching a teenager about photography tonight, tomorrow I have softball, wednesday I'll be with Nicole and hopefully meeting little Sloan, Thursday is sushi with the gals and then it's the weekend. See? FUN! Exciting! Enjoyable!

Plus, I really liked this weekend. Or, really since last Thursday. Last Thursday my now-officially favorite brewery I've ever been to (and not just because of proximity) was having a special deal where they had mason jar glasses for their Summer B@sil beer for $8--and you kept the glass. Awesomesauce. Matt and I went as soon as he got back from soccer. I heart Fullste@m so very, very much!

On Friday Matt brought me lunch and ate with me downstairs. I worked a lot. And I had a photoshoot that went really well in the evening. And then I came home and Matt and I went out to Mell0w Mushr00m in Americ@n T0bacc0 in Durham. It's one of our go-to date places. The weather was gorgeous so we sat outside. We giggled. I was complimented on my choice of a dark beer. We are just the right amount of our favorite pizzas. The Mighty Me@ty and the G0urmet White. The two most opposite pizzas ever. But ever since our third date, when we ate at the one in downtown Raleigh and ordered the G0urmet White and got the Mighty Me@ty by mistake, it's what we order every time. :) After that we went right back to Fullste@m and had more of their delicious beer.

Saturday I photographed a wedding with the awesome Nicole. It had been far too long since I last saw her, so I was glad to hang out with her all day, even if we were working. And then I came home and took a nap (yes, at 645pm. It was Matt's idea. I am SO glad I did.) And then we watched movies, I sewed a pillow and we just hung out.

And Sunday? Sunday was nuts. And fantastic! Long story short, because of a sale that was going on and my asking a question (can you match the b*stbuy price on a similar TV?), and because I sat there and looked like I wasn't going to make the purchase, we ended up saving $404 total on our new 46' led TV and accessories. $200 of it is because of the question and the look on my face! We won't get to set it up and use it until Wednesday, but we are excited! And it means we can rearrange our living room :D It took us like three and a half hours to figure it all out and make a decision, but we did! And then, while we drove I got to catch up with Renee! We don't talk on the phone very often so it was quite a treat!

And then we went over to Derek and Courtney's new house which we hadn't seen yet. It is CUTE! And we love the layout. The four of us sat around enjoying caprese and Italian beer (and some pomegranate wheat by s@ranac) and watched the flip video of Italy. The part on the gondola is unreal! You can hear it so well! And parts of it were hilarious! We then ate Italian food (of course!) prepared by Courtney, and then just sat around and talked. There was also an episode with the gigantic spider outside. It's a garden spider, but it's BIG and kind of scary looking. Quite funny indeed.

Then Derek convinced us that we should all go outside and play PIG. Or maybe HORSE. And then the fun started--Derek suggested we instead play "ALLORA"--our favorite Italian word. Courtney was in the lead for a while, which was fun. I was the first out, though in the process I did make some pretty ridiculous shots. There was one where we stood behind Courtney's car, where Matt and I made it but C&D did not. And once Courtney and I were both out, there was one where Matt stood in the backyard and made it--and then Derek did too! That one was CRAZY!

Eventually Derek caught up with Matt. And then they started being all Harlem-Globetrotter-y with their shots. After 4 or 5 times of both making it (and a few changes of who made the one that had to be repeated) Matt said "Carrie's taking this shot for me. This one is all her."

So I did.

And I put it in.

And Derek didn't.

So Matt won! :D It was pretty cool being the first person out but still making the game-winning shot. :) Loved it. We've decided this is a tradition we'll embrace every time we go to their house. A Frychardson/K0cis game of Allora. YAY!

all she wants to do is, all she wants to do is [craft]. (and make romance)

2011-08-12T11:05:00.004-04:00

no, really.

that is, quite literally, ALL I want to do. I want to work on our house. And I want to make things. I want to craft. I daydream about it. Pinterest isn't exactly helping. :) And I have PLANS.

I want to make the curtains for downstairs. The yellow chevron fabric I got on super sale (half off, so $8 a yard, which is pretty fantastic for 60 inch wide decorator fabric!) is calling my name. A few sundays ago I decided I wanted to go to Hancock's in Durham, and there it was. I bought it immediately. I did call Matt first, though. And he said he didn't hate it. And I also mentioned that it could potentially have a home in a future gender-neutral nursery, if we wanted. And so he agreed. And there was much rejoicing. :D However, we will definitely be putting those other curtains in storage and putting them back up when it comes time to show the house--because they fit the space well and we don't want to part with our curtains!

Anyhoo. So I have those curtains. And then...

I bought fabric (during that same half of sale!) for outdoor pillows. And fabric for some indoor pillows for both our living room and our downstairs (to further tie in the yellow). AND I have a fun idea for some freezer paper stencil art too. Basically, I am redecorating our house. I don't believe I have mentioned that we rearranged our basement, have I? I mean, I gave you a preview here...

-but now that desk is yellow.
-and the shelves are better organized.
-and we've (finally) integrated our DVD collection (I used to think that Matt thought my DVDs weren't good enough to be near his. ha!)
-and I have gotten rid of a LOT.

previously this room held, in addition to what you can see in the picture
-an ikea loveseat
-our old living room couch
-two side tables
-a WHOLE BUNCH of boxes--wedding presents we hadn't given homes to, some wedding stuff that we hadn't gone through (like decor from it), and lots of boxes o' random things that we had accumulated. I found a canvas thing Matt had given me when we celebrated Valentines day in 2009 that was still in the wrapping. Oopsie!
-assorted crap.
-and more assorted crap.

This picture is a few weeks old, but it gives you the gist. And now we can actually use this space, woohoo! You can see the fabric roll in there too! and my (almost) finished desk! We are going to buy some spacer things to put on the bottom to raise it up so the chair will slide under it. I am also thinking about repainting the desk a little milder of a yellow. With the primer under it that yellow is BRIGHT. But I'm going to live with it a little while and see how I like it with the curtains and THEN decide.

And next up:

--Matt still needs to go through the things under/on his desk, but he has been doing a lot around the house, so I am totally patient. :)

--hanging curtains! I want to go to Hobby Lobby to get the hardware. I'm hoping to talk some ladies into a road trip on the 20th. Or maybe get Matt to go. :) Any takers? It's about 45 minutes from my house.

--We will be donating Matt's big honkin' TV (of the huge, heavy persuasion) and moving our TV from the living room into that space, because we have decided it is time to buy a new TV for our living room. We are currently very limited by our TV size--it's on the smaller side, especially when the TV image is cropped on the screen, and if we move our arrangement so it's more open we will both be straining to see it. Considering that we are kind of tv-aholics (I would be ashamed to admit this, except at the same time it's pretty much the only time we're still when we are at home), being able to see is kind of important. :) And I hate how tiny our living area feels right now. So, yeah. We are going TV shopping on Sunday, wish us luck!

--We will be slipcovering that recliner. I hope. We aren't going to make our own for this one, though.

--At some kinda-distant point I'll be slipcovering our little Ikea chair. I am really hoping to do it myself. I need to find a super-forgiving fabric first. Which kind of conflicts with my desire to do a bold pattern. But I'm sure it will work out, right? Part of me hopes I'll have the time to do it this winter when photography slows down. Except then I remember that I have a wedding in January and (hopefully) two weddings in March. Ha!

--We will be getting rid of at least part of Matt's entertainment center. This thing has lived in many many houses. Owned by many different Frys and maybe even Fry friends, I'm not sure. But it's falling apart. And it's time. I tried to talk Matt into letting me paint it, but he said no. He thinks I paint everything. I think he might be right :)

--I hope to put some small shelves up over my desk. And eventually move my monitor down there. We currently have it rigged so I have my monitor on a TV tray in the living room since I do most of my editing in there. We also are keeping an eye out for a flat screen monitor for Matt.

and then I think that room will be done! In the meantime we're tackling the living room and the kitchen. It's gonna be like a whole new house when we are done!!

not able to be controlled.

2011-08-11T14:27:00.002-04:00

I sometimes worry about what to blog and whether or not what I am blogging is appropriate for my audience and/or if it's something that Matt would be okay with me talking about. This is one of those times.

My friend Christy and I were talking a few weeks ago about how the hardest thing about trying to get pregnant is that you have zero control over it. I mean, you can pee on sticks all month and time everything perfectly and you still only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month.

I've had many friends deal with difficulties getting pregnant--some are full on classified as having "infertility issues" while some just validated the statistic of it taking up to 12 months for your average couple under the age of 35. I've also had some friends get pregnant on the very first try. So, as much as I thought I could, I steeled myself for the reality that we probably wouldn't get pregnant on the first attempt. And I was/am okay with that.

But the things I haven't yet come to terms with are kind of driving me batty.

For one, that whole lack of control part. I am a very logical thinker. It is hard for me to understand that, well, let's put it this way...if you are baking a cake and you put in flour and sugar and eggs and vanilla and baking powder and milk and you mix it up and put it in the oven, you expect a cake, yes? That's not how it works for women. And I had no appreciation for that until this time in my life.

For two, the people. Oh, the people. Some are so, so well meaning. I've already had to explain to multiple people why it is that it is ill advised to ask a woman whether or not she is pregnant. I mean, either she is, and you've ruined the surprise, or she isn't, and you've just reminded her of this. Or, heaven forbid, she's in that window when you don't know. None are good options. I have had some sweet thoughts conveyed too--and I think one of my favorites was a friend who said she will never ask me about it, but that she was sending pregnancy vibes to me and was thinking of us and praying for us. And for that, I am grateful.

For three (which is kind of related to one), the timing. So. In ideal-land, Matt and I would like to have a child--a healthy, I don't care the gender child--whose birthday fell before Matt's summer break. Because in ideal-land, I would take my maternity leave, and then Matt would have the summer off, and we could delay childcare. We think this would be good for our as-yet-unconceived kiddo. And for our peace of mind. Only time will tell on this one.

But to end on a positive note, I do have something really great to say--which is that I am very glad to have my new boss. She had a little sit down with all of her employees, one on one, and I mentioned to her that Matt and I would like to have a family in the not-too-distant future because, well, it will affect my work. And it was SO amazing, because her response was happiness for us and our decision. Not considerations about workload or timelines. But instead, she made a little delightful squealy noise and told me that she was excited for us and our future plans, and then said that we'd just worry about work when that time came. TOTAL opposite from my old boss (who I do really like, but doesn't *get* it). And a huge stress relief. :)

yada yada yada--fifteen hundred posts.

2011-08-10T10:28:00.002-04:00

hi. this is my 1500th post. it makes me kind of sad to realize that if you graphed my posting frequency, that graph would be a fairly level line for a long time and then peter out. oh well.

last night for dinner, on a total whim, I made this. I changed it up a little, but it was essentially this, and it was GOOD.

Matt and I have been playing this "game" where we try to use things we already have. Total shocker, I know. But some, um....let's go with the phrase "unfortunate family absurdity" [on my side] has made us decide to try to be much more intentional with our purchases, due to the likelihood of that absurdity weighing on our personal pocketbook in the not-crazy-distant-future. oh, life.

but anyway.

-we had sausage on hand from our weekly CSA. it was "hot" and I think that heat added a lot!
-I used rice we had instead of the kind they listed
-I added garlic (I always add garlic!)
-and I only used one can of tomatoes and then used up some ripe ones we had laying around. I am LOVING the summer tomatoes. I think that the dish could've had even more tomatoes!
-oh and I omitted the greens. it wasn't purposeful, I just forgot. but since I have green smoothies every day, I didn't feel so terrible about it. :)

I would've taken pictures, but honestly? I was hungry!

also, this little milestone (and the milestones I'd like to have happen in the next short while, and some recent events) have gotten me thinking about who I was in December of 2004 and who I am now. Of the many, many changes and adventures and terrible and amazing things that have happened in the interim. And of what I thought was right or wrong, and what could or should be...and it's just making me very thankful for all of the awesome that's come into my life in the last seven-ish years. (And grateful for the awesome that was there already and is still there today!)

I promise my next post will have pictures. pinkie swear!

I....I predict a riot.

2011-07-28T10:51:00.003-04:00

~kaiser chiefs

my dear friend lisa b-w called me out on my lack of blogging last night, and I realized that she is right. :)

so here's what I'll tell you...

I read The Time Machine.
I'm now reading The Girl Who Pl@yed With Fire. And you know what? The front cover is CHEEEEESY. I didn't even notice how cheesy until yesterday. But it's cheesy.

Last weekend was very wonderful and very, very much needed. I went to Ohio to see Jessica. Jessica my bridesmaid, Jessica my friend of forever, Jessica the awesome. We decorated more of her little girl's room (Jessica's due in late September) and did a whole lot of sewing. Some of it I'll be putting on my photography blog, and some of it I have to wait to tell you about until after tomorrow because it's a surprise for her husband Cody.

we also made pi0neer w0man's watermelon granita. and it was DELISH. we really, really loved it. it was kind of hysterical getting the pans of granita in her freezer (she has the double-door fridge/freezer) and we almost got granita everywhere because I was laughing hysterically, but it made it in, and we ate it. and ate it. and ate it. mmmm...oh and the watermelon we got was amazingly ripe. and in the picture with the knife, all I had done was push the point of the knife into the rind and it split like this. crazy!

also, we went to the farmer's market (I have pictures, I'll add 'em later) and we found out about Ludlow cheese. It is UNREAL. And it's pasteurized. I liked it so much I got information from the farmer because they ship their cheese. We made tacos on Saturday night, along with guac and our watermelon granitas, and you know how usually in tacos it's the beef that steals the show? Well we had ground turkey, and let me tell you--I didn't even notice anything other than the deliciousness of that ludlow.

what else, what else....

yesterday we won our softball game, which made me very very happy! I love my team, but it's been a bit hard playing on it this season 'cause we've not been winning much. I firmly believe it's how you play the game that matters, but let's be honest, it's nice to win sometimes! So I was super excited to win! After our last game I told our team that if we won our next one I'd buy the first round when we went out to eat. We went to a Mexican food place in Morrisville, and I totally lucked out--because I give you Girl Scout's honor I didn't know, but draft beers were only 99 cents! Matt and I had dinner and bought a round of beer for $16.32! AMAZING!

tonight I'm going to the Bull's game with the KayDees and tomorrow I head to Charlotte for the wedding of the fabulous Thomas and Suzanne!

I've been reading.

2011-07-14T12:05:00.002-04:00

a lot.

and I decided I should try and write out the books I've read this year. It's probably the most I've read in a loooong time. ready?

The Lost Symbol
(most of) Italian Survival Guide
Unwind
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Mockingjay
The Underland Chronicles: Gregor the Overlander
The Underland Chronicles: Gregor and the Prophecy of the Bane
A Discovery of Witches (which I LOVED)
Her Fearful Symmetry
and I think there were one or two more but I'm not recalling right now...

and I'm currently reading
The Alchemist
The Time Machine

and I have a bunch of other books waiting at home for me to read, but I am ADDICTED to reading on a kindle. especially because I can read it on my iphone when, say, I am waiting in line. or at lunch. LOVE that.

I've been reading, too, as a kind of stress releasing thing. When I was in college I would allow myself to read Harry Potter for 10 minutes every night, no matter how busy I was or tired I was, because it was something fun to do! So I'm trying to read just a little bit every night. And I like it.

Any book recommendations?

I think I am nesting.

2011-07-11T14:59:00.004-04:00

not in the way that you say it about pregnant women (not pregnant, y'see), but in the way where we've decided to continue to reside in our home for a while, so we're re-appropriating the space. and the previous most-eyesore-ish of a room is quickly becoming one of my favorites.

but I am showing the "the tendency to arrange one's immediate surroundings, such as a work station, to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control." (here)

I was too ashamed to take a "before" picture, and we're still working on it. but the room is going to be pretty kickin' when we're done.

But, here are some in progress pics: Namely, clockwise from top left, "Sweet Mustard" paint, a piece of art to color-coordinate in the room, said "free desk" pre-painting (and relocated from who knows where before) and the moved and reorganized shelf! The color-order part of it is (understandably) distressing to some people (oh, no! the harry potter books aren't all together! how will you find them?) but it makes me very happy! I have plans to re-work the books a little so that some of the pink from the top middle shelf spills over onto the shelf o' white books at the top left, and it was also suggested that instead of putting my little knick-knacks and chotchkies (Matt says that word in a hilarious way, ps) with their matching colors, perhaps I should put them with complimentary colors instead. we shall see.

Next up on the list: (in no particular order)
-fill magazine holders w/ magazines that are throughout the house
-go through the boxes of stuff that were under the desks
-put bins in the other shelf and fill them as needed (cat stuff, exercise stuff, games, who knows what else)
-return Nicole's silverware! neither of us realized I still had it!
-decide what to do about my kl!ppan loveseat! (re-cover? donate?)
-decide what to do about my tullst@ chair. (re-cover? try to re-cover myself?)
-get a slip cover for matt's beloved recliner
-maybe build/buy/create some kind of a cover for the litter boxes?
-decorate!!! (cover the fuse box with something easy-to-remove, potentially put up our beer decor we've been collecting)
-decide how to paint the vintage metal file drawer I bought a while ago. (on my birthday weekend!) not totally unlike this one. it is currently dark green, a little rusty in places and definitely needs to be cleaned off. I'm thinking it might end up in a metallic something or other. possibly pewter or silver? I dunno. I need to see how it looks on/near the desk :)

and also? attack the other rooms. I keep telling Matt how different our house is going to look in a few months! Let's hope I'm right!

let's see here...DC.

2011-07-11T14:49:00.002-04:00

I have, let me see...ZERO pictures from our quick jaunt up to DC a few weeks ago--but let me tell you, it was worth it.

We went to meet the cutest little girl. Her name is Lily. You probably have heard tell of her parents--Mary Alise and Michael. I've known them for...whoa. Is it nearly seven years? Or going on six years? I'm not sure. But in any case, Mary Alise is one of my best friends, and Michael is like the older brother I never had. And I love them very very much. And I love their little girl too.

She was fussy and sleepy, but she was also so cuddly and warm and loving. And I look forward to taking her on a roller coaster in, like, twelve years. Mary Alise and Michael don't *do* roller coasters--so "Aunt" Carrie and "Uncle" Matt have agreed to take on that duty. :)

We left for DC at, oh, 11am-ish. I had been at a wedding in Burlington the night before and got home around midnight. So we packed up and headed their way! We got there around 5 (traffic. bruegger's. gas. bathroom stops. more traffic.) and hung out for a bit, held Lily for a good while, talked about poop and breastfeeding and the joy of getting enough sleep, and ate some yummy pizza.

And then? Crazy folks that we are--we hit the road to return to Durham. We brought stuff to stay the night, but decided to drive back instead. I guess we left at like 930? And got home at like 2. Matt wanted to get back so he could go to the teacher workday that Monday, and I figured I'd just go to work late on Monday instead of taking PTO. Plus, no $$ on a hotel! (they would've let us stay with them, too, but we didn't want to disrupt their system!)

I am already looking forward to seeing that little cutie pie again! And of course my dear friends. :) Yay for dear friends having babies! Quite a few have in the past year and a half! And of course I have two new nieces in the last year too! :)

it occurs to me that...

2011-07-07T17:42:00.003-04:00

it's been nearly a month since I last posted. for shame. for shame!

it's actually really refreshing knowing that we are staying in our house for a while longer. it means we can DO things. and it's worth our while to organize and decorate further. okay, well, let's be real...it's always (almost) worth it to organize further. decorate? eh, not so much.

it has been far too long since I last did something "creative." okay, that might be a bit over the top too. technically photography is being creative. but girlfriend needs to paint. or sew. or craft. anybody want to come craft at my house? my pinterest is full of ideas. :)

I have lots of stories to tell you. I'll get right on that. to hold me accountable, we've got DC, Asheville, Charlotte and Oklahoma to talk about. el pronto.

well, this is new.

2011-06-10T13:31:00.003-04:00

first, an update: here's where our italy blog is located. we're only through the first part of our trip, but I'm working on the second part. :D

so, this weekend, for the first time in a long time, and definitely for the first time since algebra II, I felt like a math whiz. specifically the math whiz who, in let's say high school, the cool kids buddied up to so they could get math help, and then totally ignored as soon as math was over.

maybe it was jet leg, maybe I was hormonal, maybe a whole lot of things--but that's how I felt. and it was kind of surreal because I just kept thinking about how I'd made damn certain not to be that girl in high school. and in college we were all working our tails off, so that person rarely existed in ChE.

and yet I found myself feeling that way. I didn't even realize we were on the path until we got to the destination--but in retrospect I should've known the whole time.

thankfully, it was about nothing terribly important. or that could result in detention. :) but gee whiz. very disconcerting.

also new? thinking about the timelines of life, and wondering when/if there will be a baby/fetus and whether or not I need to (or will need to) change things because of that. the not knowing is kind of obnoxious but also kind of refreshing. and that, for lack of a better word, surprises me. I LOATHE surprises y'see (well, honestly I should clarify--I loathe surprises that I know are coming--I'm peachy with a side of keen about surprises that are a total surprise) So it is kind of fun that I think this whole not-knowing, not-getting-to-plan thing is delightful. :)

who knew?

also delightful...
-yesterday I won $75 from des!gn @glow, a very cool ph0tographer resource!
-yesterday I also won a free acupuncture session at the place I've been wanting to try out (I've never done acupuncture before but have heard amazing things)
-yesterday I got free strawberries, too! I'm going to try making fruit leather tonight! (like fruit rollups!)
-I get to photograph a wedding this weekend! woohoo!
-and I get to go meet little Lily, the wonderful daughter of Mary Alise and Michael. Seriously can't wait to meet her!

Oh yeah--and also...IT'S FRIDAY! Thank goodness!

if people do it in a 5th floor walk up in new york, I can do it in my townhome.

2011-06-07T17:57:00.002-04:00

the thing I'm talking about is having a baby.

but let me clear something up real quick: NOT PREGNANT. got it? good.

so, the trip to Italy was incredibly incredible, and I will tell you about it post-haste. but I'm going that on a whole separate blog because, well, I want lots of people to get to read it and I don't want all those folks reading this one. capisce?

matt and I have been jibbering and jabbering about buying a house. I already own a nice little townhome. 1600 sqft, with patio and a deck and a two car garage, 2.5 bathrooms and two bedrooms. yes, it's sans a much-missed coat closet and you have to immediately walk up stairs to enter into it, but it's pretty cute and functional and in a good location.

however.

we (okay, maybe *I*) seem to have house-lust. and I seem to have fallen victim to one of the classic blunders--thinking that just because everyone else is doing it, you should too.

aside from my next door neighbors and one couple we know, I can't think of anyone in my area that has a baby or is anticipating the arrival of a baby that does not have a biiiiig sprawling house. one with 3+ bedrooms and seventeen bathrooms and a spacious yard. and one that does not have steep steps that you must climb in order to enter. I think I might have had a case of the Joneses.

except not anymore.

it's a crummy time to sell a house. and now that we've been in it for nearly 3 years (as of the 16th, actually) we have enough equity that we could, potentially, sell. and at least break even. but really, truly...it just doesn't make sense. or cents.

so, if they can do it in a 5th floor walk up in new york, I can do it in my townhome.

and in the meantime, we will be playing the rearranging game.

currently there are THREE couches in our mostly-unused downstairs bonus room. Two of them need to be outta there. The third, Nicole's old couch that's a sleeper, needs to have sole billing. Along with Matt's recliner that he loves so very much. And I have plans.

Our current guest room/Carrie's crafty stuff room/catch all will remain as a guest room. And a potential future nursery.

Our downstairs, aka bonus room, which we call the "basement"--I have big plans for there. I think it requires drawing a picture. But I think we'll rearrange it and add some desk space and integrate some storage so I can put my crafty stuff in there. We initially thought it would be a cool "party space"--but in reality? eh. Not so amazing.

And I'm still wondering about our living area. We have the same quandary as before--how to arrange the couch...I'm thinking we need a bigger TV so we can put the couch across the room and really open up that space. Matt isn't a huge fan of this idea, but I am! I definitely want the TV to be visible from the kitchen and dining area, but otherwise I'm up for options.

so, yeah. focus on decorating and changing. and maybe just maybe some painting. (matt might keel over at this too. shhhh don't tell him yet)

I promise I'll give before and after pictures. We just have to stay in town enough consecutive weekends to accomplish something!

all my bags [aren't] packed and I'm ready to go!

2011-05-19T15:33:00.002-04:00

fo rizzle.

I keep looking at my calendar of italy and the names of the cities we're visiting that are written on it for every day we are there.

I keep talking about the trip, and every time someone asks me about my ventures out of the states (a two day trip to vancouver when I was 14 doesn't count) I almost tear up thinking about how long I've wanted to go to italy. (interesting sidenote--it was about, oh, 4 months after my little family trip to vancouver that I first wanted to see ancient rome)

I keep thinking I need to pinch myself.

I keep making lists. And learning words. And preparing the best I can. Oh, and I keep having crazy dreams. Like, last night I had a dream I felt like I was pregnant, and I wanted to take a pregnancy test, but things kept keeping me from it. One bathroom had no toilets. Another time I had to hide the pee-stick and it snapped in half. And then I had to steal another pregnancy test because I had ruined the other one and had no cash. It was all very weird.

The night before I dreamed I was jumping/flying up things. Like, crouching and lifting off. There was a building and I think I was trying to sneak into a room. Weird too.

right. I'm crazy, I know.

back to list making... :)

I feel a little like a messed up dr. seuss rhyme.

2011-05-19T11:06:00.000-04:00

I have misplaced some earrings. I have been looking for them everywhere. It is making me crazy.

but it seems they are nowhere to be found. I'm sure they're hiding out somewhere, and one fine day they'll glimmer and shine at me to let me know they're there. but now? I keep thinking of green eggs and ham.

I did not find them in their box.
I did not find them with a fox.
I did not find them in a house
I did not find them with a mouse
I did not find them here or there.
I did not find them anywhere.

sigh. I've made a list of everywhere I've gone since the last time I had them in my hot little hands. They were in my wallet, y'see. Along with another pair of earrings and some change that I found safely in my purse. (The zipper to my wallet came un-zipped). So, the laws of physics are definitely not happy with this, methinks.

so yeah.

I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

alright alright, hey-hey, alright alright, yeah.

2011-05-18T15:47:00.002-04:00

I wish I could remember what that's from. I don't. Oh well!

I am having an "I hate money" kind of day. I always hate money. There's never enough of it, it seems, and even when you make your mind up to be thankful for what you have, something happens to make you feel all brokedy-broke again.

case in point:

we have been saving for italy. planning for italy. thinking, breathing, sleeping, reading, learning for italy. so what happens less than a week before the italy trip?

a) a $270 convention that I want to go to but I'll be late to it, I'll have to take PTO to go to it AND I am supposed to pay for it by tomorrow night or the cost goes to $300,

b) a trip to Tulsa over the 4th of July (which we were also planning for, but not quite yet, but then realized we only had two weekends could go), accompanied by a credit card fiasco (long story) that means that instead of getting to take advantage of spending after the due date, thereby delaying that expense, we owe it sooner and

c) owing for the next session of the CSA already.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking: "But, Carrie, you've got a roof over your head and you eat well and you aren't, like, poor or anything, buck up!" And I know this. But I think I can explain.

Y'see, in my neck of the woods, money isn't something I think about eeeeevery day. I don't figure and analyze and add and subtract and take money out of savings all in one day. I don't obsess. I think about it, I try to be mindful, I pay my bills and I use what's left over to pay off debt/flights/etc. But because this Italy trip is costing quite a few more clams than we expected (our hotel costs were higher than anticipated by ~$50 a night, which is another long story, but is what it is), and because we don't want to be overly frugal the whole time we are there (why bother traveling to Italy if we're going to obsess over every penny and, like, choose mickey d's over pasta because of the $5 we'd save or whatever), money has been on my mind.

And it's making me crazy.

annnnd, full disclosure, I also feel a little sheepish because I just posted on my arch nemesis, aka FB, that I wish the $270 wouldn't've had the increase in price deadline happen in the middle of the month. If it were the 1st of the month? golden. but it's not. so, now I weigh the value of delayed paying v. paying $30 more. UGH. but now I feel like whiney-mc-whinersons because of it.

I mean, I'm going to friggin' ITALY. I should be rolling in the money, yes? Um, no. We saved. We shopped around. And we're gonna owe some after this (sorry for anyone who is a D.R@msey fan who just shuddered at that notion). We are going now not because we're rife with cash, which for the record, we're not--but because we can manage, and because we know we won't be going once there's a bambino in the picture--not on a 10 day overseas excursion. So we're making it work now because that makes the most sense to us. Capisce?

Right. Anyway. When it rains it pours or whatever. It will all be fine. I am sure that this is just the way I'm focusing my crazy right now since I've already made enough lists, done enough searches and learned enough words in Italian to make anyone a little nuts. :D Please do excuse my ranting. I'll return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

crazy insane or insane crazy?

2011-05-10T15:43:00.002-04:00

(when I say husse!n you say shady)

~em!nem.

I have been wondering if I am crazy insane or super-dee-duper-practical. y'see, in not long at all (cough*cough*less*than*two*weeks*cough) Matt and I head to Italy. And I am getting annnxious.

I mean, okay, so I just told the blogiverse when we leave. But most of my readers are people I know, friends of people I know, or people who don't live in my general vicinity. And a few random visitors and/or lurkers (hi there!). And the beauty of this blog is that you don't find it using g00gle, at least not if you're trying to find *me.*

right. so.

I am WAY worried about the whole random-folks-knowing-I'm-gone thing. Like, we have someone taking care of our cats and our neighbors are gonna keep an eye out. And that's just amazing! But I'm still nervous. Yesterday, this thing we do that I can't talk about unless you come watch television at my house (seriously!) told me they wanted to know the exact dates we were gonna be gone and a local contact who could let them in if necessary. Um, nope. Not letting a stranger into my home while we're gone, for one, and for two I'm not asking any friends to do that--don't want to put them in that position.

I wondered if I was being a bit paranoid. Or very practical. Or both. And then...

then I started contemplating a temporary change on FB so that no one could write on my wall. Because I don't want a lot of "have so much fun in Italy! hope today's flight goes smoothly" all over the place. 'Cause if you can find me on FB, you can find my home address. And not just because I have a business. But is that too extreme? I mean, on one hand, FB posts have caused actual real drama in my life. Oh the other hand, who is really going to break into a piddly little townhome, and what's the actual value of the things they could take (honestly, it's not like it's nothing, but it's also not like it's 100k or anything).

So, yeah. I dunno. I'm either crazy insane or insane crazy. Or totally practical. Or both.

Where's the extreme? I really think not letting repair folks in my house (with someone I designate) makes sense--whatever it is, it can likely wait. Or it's so bad that there won't be any second thought and I have no control of it. (e.g., fire, plague of locusts, flooding, acts of God, etc) (ps, the phrase "acts of God" makes me want to add "no tag-backs!") I dunno. Is taking away my FB wall too much? Is it too little? Should I have pretended we were going in, like, July and then surprised everyone when we left and came back? What do you think?

chiedo scusa per il mio stupido amico ubriaco americano

2011-05-06T11:21:00.002-04:00

I've been brushing up on my Italian. AKA memorizing phrases and numbers because, well, that's all I've got. I have had aspirations of actually learning to speak Italian for a looooong time, but that's just not in the cards. And I don't think I really want to put forth that level of effort.

I have been in a very contemplative mood recently. I've been thinking a lot about choices. And change. And money. And decisions. And life. I've been wondering about a final foray into grad school, and if I'm ready for that again. Or if I even want it. Or if I'm prepared for what might happen if I don't get in. I've been thinking about whether or not we should try to move into a house this summer. It's a lot to consider.

And I've been trying to decide where I want my photography business to go. I'm getting a little burnt out already and the busy season is just beginning--and I'm once again considering limiting my clients to only couples, weddings and children over X age. Little kids are super cute and I love them, but it's much harder work and I find that the majority of the unreasonable requests I get come from parents with, like, a 3 month old. And I always have the most fun working with couples. But then sometimes the kiddos are amazing! I just dunno.

I've also started translating expenses (such as a flight to Tulsa, or that dress I want, or a new lens) into their equivalent in travel. e.g., when looking for flights to Tulsa last night I realized that for two plane tickets to Tulsa + a month of cable and internet we could fly to Italy again. (well, at the deal we got) That's insane, friends. Insane.

Right.

In exciting news:
-My work will be featured on a wedding blog next week.
-It's not too long until we head to Italy!
-Delicious, amazing, beautiful strawberries are in season.
-Softball is happening SOON!
-and I'm alllllllmost free of the evil clutches of TAP. Next Tuesday I am OUT. And I'm thrilled.

the end.

except, oh yeah. the title is "please excuse my stupid, drunk, American friend." just thought that would be a good one to keep in my back pocket, just in case we have another round of ridiculous hand gestures while saying names of cheeses and pastas. :)

the thoughts in my head...

2011-04-28T11:26:00.002-04:00

viva italia!

in 24 days I will be embarking upon what I hope will be the most amazing trip of my life to date. don't get me wrong, the engage-a-cation was incredible, and I saw the first view that literally rendered me unable to speak, and it was so.much.fun--BUT....it is no Italy. Today I am thinking about walking around Monterosso al Mare and seeing the Roman Forum. I keep thinking about the Via Appia and Romulus and Remus and the Tiber River.

and in a very strange way, part of me wants to not bring my camera all. to just drink it all in with my eyes and hear the sounds and smell the scents. logical carrie knows that I'd cry and cry and cry if I didn't have my camera. perhaps I'll just need to be careful that I don't constantly have my camera connected to my face. :)

loss

today I have received word of two friends of mine who are experiencing losses--one of a grandparent, the other of a dear friend who was fighting breast cancer. this gal was diagnosed when she was 24 and has been fighting for two years.

while talking about it with another friend, via text, she mentioned that she just hadn't had too much experience with death. which made me realize that, sadly, I have. since stacey in the third grade. two grandparents, two aunts, my dad, other relatives, close friend's parents and relatives, cousins, even a softball team member. it makes my heart heavy to think of it.

how my life might be different a year from now.

I've been contacted for an august 2012 wedding. I'm not sure if she wants one shooter or two, yet. But then I though about the potential factors that I just don't have to consider yet that I might then. What if we're pregnant? What if we have a little bitty baby? Will we live in a house or will we still be in a townhouse? Will I still be working full time? What, if, when, how, why?

crazy...

why am I suddenly very interested in cooking everything random under the sun?

right now I'd like to make homemade marshmallows, graham crackers, my pizza from scratch, fried chicken, a lemon meringue pie, beer rolls, brew more of our own beer (yes, we brewed our own!) and perhaps also make my own chips or crackers or something on which I can spread cheese. oh yeah, and make some chevre or another soft cheese. jennifer and I successfully made mozzarella (pictures soon, I promise!) and I am SO proud of us for that, although we do need to hone our technique. and I did make cadbury creme egg brownies, too. I guess I'm all for new, strange recipes.

along that line, I want to redecorate my entire house.

okay, only sort of. I want to repaint the kitchen in a muted color (which isn't totally crazy since we're considering considering (yes, that double word was intentional) putting our home on the market). I want to go with a pretty paler muted yellow. That whole yellow-kitchens-catch-on-fire-thing be damned. Remove the bright yellow and orange and get a muted yellow. We shall see. And I want to paint our living room in a muted version of the spinach color we used. the littlest green wall in this post.

hair.

I'm slowly taking my hair to a color that's less red and more brown. these new vitamins are making it grow like a weed! and in the process I *think* I'm growing it longer. Like, put-in-a-bun-or-braid longer. It'll go in a teeny tiny ponytail now. we shall see. opinions appreciated. unless your opinion is "dye it blonde again." if that's the case, please kindly keep your thoughts to yourself :) No offense to you blondes out there! Y'see,I was a blonde-blonde for some of the worst moments of my life, AND I learned that people are not always very respectful of blondes in the engineering-type-workplace (or at least that they're less disrespectful to brunettes and redheads, ha!) so I am going to stay far away from blonde. Plus, it washes me out. :)

fry family vacay, 2011

2011-04-26T16:12:00.003-04:00

highlights of the trip (in no particular order!):

1. meeting little alexis rose, the newest of my nieces.

2. getting to see katlyn's personality and finding out how awesome it is. she is such a precious little girl.

3. a billion hugs and kisses from bridget, who made us this ADORABLE sign saying she loved us(I think we'll be framing it) and who told aunt tonya that it's totally okay that bridget loves matt & me just a liiiiiittle bit more than any of her other aunts and uncles because matt and I gave her the really important job of being a flower girl in our wedding. (nevermind that is wasn't possible for anyone else to do that!)

4. french braiding katlyn and bridget's hair. and then tonya's. and then mine :)

5. seeing these wonderful folks that I got as family 'cause I put up will silly old Matt. ha! okay, well, they've always treated me like family (and I LOVE them for that) but it just makes my heart feel good to know that being a part of it is officially official. AND when the people called from the front desk and asked for "Mrs. Fry" I got to say "well, technically I'm one of them, but there are two others, and I think you want one of them."

6. playing outside with bridget and katlyn. pushing them on the swing, taking pictures of them playing and getting lots of hugs.

7. (this is possibly the most amazing part of all) successfully going to the beach for half an hour. I wore my spf50 cover-up the WHOLE time, and I put on spf110 sunblock (which does make a difference if you've got a complexion & allergy like mine!) and I wore my hat. But I actually helped build a sandcastle and somehow did not actually burn! WOOHOO!

ahem.

anyway, let's see some pictures, shall we?

love them. all of them. we missed trevor, but otherwise everyone was there, and it was splendidly splendid. :) I'm already looking forward to seeing many of these wonderful people at Christmas!

"she moves in such a way, I still fall in love with her every single day"

2011-04-18T11:02:00.003-04:00

~sk6ers

We danced to that song in the kitchen last night for our anniversary. And we drank spumante from hillside winery, which we visited on our honeymoon. And we ate little cupcakes, too.

We went to eat at a local fancy-schmancy mexican restaurant, M3z (that 3 is an e!) and I love it. They have this unreal corn soup that I would gladly eat every day of my life. And delicious everything. And and and--on our reservation on 0pen t@ble, I noted that it was our anniversary. THREE of their staff members wished us happy anniversary and they brought us complimentary champagne! Super-full glasses, even. And when I asked the name of the champagne ('cause I liked it!) they actually brought us more--one of the mini-bottles that was about half full because it wouldn't fit in our glasses. It wasn't super-ritzy of course, but it was totally unnecessary and very generous of them!

After that, we drove to see if Mad Hatter's was open, but alas, no. So we got cupcakes at Whole Foods, and headed home. That's when we had the spumante, danced, ate the cupcakes and watched a show. Can you guess what it is? A hint: we watched it on the night we got engaged, on our honeymoon and when we got back to town after we got married. Second hint: it's in its last season. Third hint: it airs on fridays. :)

Please pardon the photos. I heart my iphone, but sometimes its picture quality is only so-so.

Oh and last but not least--the gifts :) I did three things for Matt, all written on pieces of paper. 1. I'm taking him to a movie on Saturday (he loves movies only slightly less than he loves soccer, which is only slightly less than he loves me. I call soccer his mistress.), 2. a new, nice watch ('cause the modern gift is clocks!) and 3. the very best one--I designed our wedding album! Okay, honestly I'm only through the ceremony, but I'm getting there and I'll be finishing it up this week!

And Matt? He knew all about the paper/clocks thing, but totally disregarded it because he wanted this first anniversary to be extra-special. He bought me something I've wanted for a long time--diamond earrings. He says there was tissue paper in the bag, so that counts! :) I was VERY surprised and totally impressed :) And I like that many moons from now I can tell people how my husband got them for me for our first wedding anniversary!

More about the weekend soon (yes, there's more!) but I had to share this today. Matt's definitely a keeper. :)

this time, a year ago....

2011-04-13T17:24:00.003-04:00

I was on my way to Oklahoma. For our wedding.

And here we are, 361ish days later...and it has gone by so very, very fast.

For your first anniversary, the customary "traditional" gift is paper. And since it mimics the gift I got him a while ago that he loved so very, very much, I think I'm going to get him (slash us) a wedding album. We don't have one yet. (sidebar--the album I gave him for our two years of dating-iversary is his very favorite present I've ever given him, according to the questions fabulous renee and jessica asked before my bachelorette)

So, since he's out of town this weekend (and yes, that probably makes me the very most awesome wife in the universe for permitting my husband to go on a boy's trip the weekend of our first anniversary) I figure that's a splendid time for me to design it.

I have the photos and the design all picked out. I just have to DO it. But I think it will be a gift that he will love! Sadly, I won't be giving him the printed version on Sunday. I thought about it, but then decided that if I am shelling out for one of those really nice albums, then I need to let him see it before it goes to press.

I'm also thinking about getting him movie tickets for Friday night. Maybe for a late show, so I can go get a tattoo beforehand. Well, I *think* I'm getting a tattoo beforehand. I know I want a little little sunflower. What I don't know for sure is where...

I am seriously considering getting it on my left side, right below where my bra sits. Alternatively, I'm also thinking about above the elbow on the inside of my left arm. I want it to be somewhere that I can cover pretty easily, and I don't want it to show when I wear dresses or tank tops. And in case you just did the math--I only get tattoos on Good Friday. It's a thing. Good Friday 2003 and Good Friday 2007. And since I like odd numbers, perhaps it's fitting that I might get my final tattoo on Good Friday 2011.

ps: it is kind of hilarious to me when people look all shocked and amazed when they see my little nautilus shell poking out of my flat and say "you have a TATTOO????!?" I enjoy saying "yes, two." and I think I'll get an even bigger kick out of saying "yes, three!"

any suggestions? and any other ideas to add to the anniversary gift?

when I grow up.

2011-04-07T18:19:00.002-04:00

little girl Carrie would have told you that she wanted to be a lawyer or an artist or a scientist when she grew up. She would have imagined a house with lots of rooms, pretty (but not fancy) things, a handsome husband, kitty cats, kiddos and a fruit bowl on the table. She would have told me I'd have lots of nice friends, that I'd go to church and that I would think bagels, fried chicken w/ mashed potatoes and corn and pumpkin pie were there best foods ever. And she would have told you that you should be nice to the world, nice to each other and that nothing was better than beating someone at Scrabble.

I suppose, to seven year old-ish me, I am all of those things. Not yet a mother (y'all know bring pregnant in Italy is soooooo off the table), but to her, I think I am, as my neighbor would say, "livin' the dream."

And it's funny because, well, I think I am. I was talking to my Granny last night (you know this can either be amazing or a total disaster ending in tears and super-analyzing a conversation, yes) and we ended up talking about money. About not spending $250/night on a hotel room in Italy because it was foolish, and because I'm not taking the kind of vacation where you spend money like that. We talked a little about how wealth is all in your mindset--Matt and I have plenty. We pay the bills every month, we have some savings, we indulge and scrimp depending on the time, and we though sometimes we fail at this, we try not to complain about our lot in life. Because, well, we've got it good.

But it also got me thinking about how little Carrie would be blown away by my paycheck today, and how I should remember to be thankful even when I'm not feeling so thankful. When my stepdad was the breadwinner for six people, he made less money per year, after having worked for decades, than I got at my first job out of college. And although I vividly remember crying hysterically when my mom couldn't buy the beautiful box set of prang art supplies, and I often loaned my parents my babysitting savings the three or four days before his next paycheck came in, I never felt like I was lacking. We always had the air conditioning on somewhere in the house (usually in the living room only), and we didn't have central heat until I was in high school, but some days I secretly hope our next house has floor vents, only so I can stand over them to warm up.

Anyway, this all brings me to the title of the post...because I don't feel like a grown up. I mean, yeah, I pay for my financial obligations and dental work and clothe and feed myself and all--but I don't feel like a grown up. I look at other people who are in their early/mid thirties and some of them I totally regard as a grown up, and some of them I don't. And I can't quite put my finger on it--I mean, mom jeans are totally a tell--but barring that, what makes one 30 year-old a grown up and the other not?

Maybe one day I'll wake up and feel like a grown up. Maybe I need a yard or a baby or a promotion or to not be in a workstation. Maybe it's something else. Maybe I'll never feel like a grown up (and in a way, how wonderful might that be?). I'll keep you posted. :)

Anyone else feel this way? Or have they had the moment that made them realize they were a grown up? And I'm not talking about too loud of music or whatever--that's just getting older, ha!

flash back to november 2006

2011-03-24T13:23:00.005-04:00

I was in need of a couch. I was in a sad place in life. (relatively for me, I should say. clearly my level of sad doesn't even compare to many other horrible things going on in the world. but anyway...)

And my fabulous amazing friend, my dear Mary Alise, took me to Richmond. You can read about the full encounter here. It was during this trip that I bought my most favoritest-est-est shoes I own (see their cameo in my October is Awesome series?) and, even more importantly, found the couch of my dreams.

Okay, that miiiiight be a bit much. I mean, I know I sound doubtful in the post--but it was doubtful about spending the cash, not doubtful about the couch.

But now? Now, four years and four months later, that couch resides in our humble abode. Officially. We registered for it and asked for gift cards for our wedding. In July we actually went to sit on it when we visited Renee and Mike in Atlanta (and Jessica and Cody were there too!) and Matt fully gave the thumbs up.

We got swatches. We waited. And waited. And used our C&B registry coupon to lower the price of set couch when we finally ordered it in November.

And now? It's here! And it's Hazel approved, see? :)

I love love LOVE it. I was so worried I wouldn't like it in that space, but it is GORGEOUS there. I love how it's leggy. I love how you can see more of our adorably cute rug from the dining area and the kitchen. That really makes me happy.

And it is SO much better than our old couch. It's great that the fabric is darker, that it looks better in the room, that it's wider so we could even fit four people on it if we wanted, and, for me, the best part is that it means you can see our rug from the back side too! (excuse the turned up corner!)

Some time I will also have to show you our couch that we bought from Nicole and Dave--it's light blue microsuede and a sleeper and totally cute. It's in our "basement" along with two other couches that will soon be departing from our home--one is a 7+-year-old Ike@ Klipp@n loveseat that was used when I got it, and the other Michelle and I got for $85 from one of our neighbors many years ago.

They both did their job, but neither is in great shape and we have definitely gone from the hand-me-down/used/will-do-for-now look to a much better, more grown up look. Our house is starting to look like we are actual grownups. Hurrah! :)

Now I must decide--do I recover my accent chairs? Do I buy new ones? I think I need to start looking at fabrics. And I think I need to make some accent pillows!

operation: decide to eat mushrooms.

2011-03-23T10:18:00.003-04:00

is, so far, marginally successful. as in, I have not yet decided that I won't ever eat them again.

on monday night I made myself a mushroom frittata. I only had red onions so I used those instead of white or yellow. and I also made myself some mushroom crostinis. I got to use the delicious cheese from the farmer's market (whose name I cannot currently recall) and it was pretty good.

I also tried a bite of the mushroom raw--and though the flavor and texture of a shiitake is far superior to whatever it is that comes on frozen pizzas, I've got to say I'm still not totally convinced. Let's just say I still won't be ordering anything "marsala" anytime soon. :)

BUT because I know mushrooms are very good for you, and your immune system, and because I think that they can save the world (hello, mushrooms for bioremediation--e.g. cleaning oil fields!), I am going to try again. And, to further commit myself to trying (even if it means cooking the mushrooms and breaking out ye old m@gic bullet and making them into a paste so the texture doesn't plague me so) I am going to grow my own.

I will be purchasing one of these bad boys. When we get a real house perhaps I will even incorporate some of these into my gardening. We shall see.

Any mushroom recipes y'all want to share?

"I'm gonna run right up this hill..."

2011-03-21T17:05:00.006-04:00

"summer sky or winter chill." ~mindy gledhill

let's be clear--that running thing is a metaphor. I'm not going to actually be running. because, as you may know, I don't run unless there's a ball involved. or, I suppose, someone is chasing me. :)

anyhoo, my dear friend renee introduced me to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URR_4i5gIFU&feature=player_embedded and I love it.

so, let's do a "1.5 weeks after lent began" update.

the good: I've been very very good about avoiding the word "busy."

the bad: I haven't been so good about that whole exercising thing. I was SO GOOD for three consecutive days. but then I had a weekend with a fabulous bridal shower followed by a one year old's bday party followed by a St Patty's night out. And the next day I had three photoshoots. And the last thing I wanted to do was exercise.

and then? well, then I got lazy. I actually did exercise on St Patty's Day (don't judge!)--I think that dancing to 4 (or was it 5) wii dance song things totally counts. I broke a sweat and I was a little sore the next day. :)

And then we walked yesterday. So....that brings me to 5 times of exercising. We have, what, 34 days left. I need to exercise 25 of those 34 days. Looks like I'll be walking or visiting the gym when we're in Ohio and Florida!

on the positive side: I'm exercising tonight and I already have plans to go to the Power Yoga class at work during my lunch tomorrow. SO I will knock out two more days that way. :D

also, this weekend? me and Durham? yeah, we got hitched. You can see lots of pictures here but I've uploaded some of my faves below. Basically, this event involved local beer, food trucks and a commitment to the fabulous city in which I live--to take care of it, to say nice things about it, to elect responsible officials and hold them to their promises. Oh, and to shop locally when you can.

We TOTALLY do all of those things already. But now it's official :) You commit to do so as long as you live in Durham (and, I imagine, as long as you hold Durham in your heart, which I'm sure I always will).

Fr@nk St@sio from The St@te of Things was there, and Jennifer and I got a picture. He's the one with the Bull horns. And when the marriage ceremony called for a ring? Yep, they put a bull ring on his nose! Ha! That's some Fullste@m beer you're seeing here AND the food truck with the eyes and top hat? Yep, that's my very favorite one, Kl@usie's pizza. I would drive for an hour to eat their pizza! MMMM! Also, please note Matt's funny note on Fullste@m's bar--"If we get divorced I get the ballpark." The "more cowbell" is also his doing. He makes me giggle.

anyway--the pictures. feast.your.eyes. :D

a few other highlights from the pictures--that's Jennifer and me doing the hokey pokey, and that's our dear friend Camper at Fullste@m. Thought Jen and I were quite sad that all of the first frost persimmon beer was gone (despite being mentioned TWICE on their chalkboard) he hooked us up with some red pepper hefeweizen (which was sold out for good before 8pm) and gave us a beer on the house, even. I told him he was a fantastic salesperson. Because he is. That man featured in the picture? Bought the same beer we had. And I bet he loved it, too.

and, on a totally-unrelated-but-still exciting note, tonight once I'm home and it's dinner time I'm doing something I've never done before--cooking with mushrooms. you might know that I'm the girl who says "I'll eat pretty much anything without mushrooms or mayonnaise." But today, I'm going to enjoy some local shiitake mushrooms. I am planning on having a frittata today and we'll have pasta with mushrooms another day this week. WHOA! watch out world, Carrie is eating mushrooms. voluntarily. :)

ps: yay for the longest post I've written in a loooooong while. and with pictures! (pats self on back)

I feel like I always give up something weird for Lent.

2011-03-08T15:20:00.003-05:00

and by weird I really mean "unconventional." and no offense to you chocolate/wine/caffeine giver-uppers out there (because really? QUITE a commitment and sacrifice, imho), but it gave me great validation last year when my pastor's sermon was about how in an ideal world, he believes that the very most worthwhile lenten offering is something that's a part of a permanent lifestyle change for you.

and as the girl who has given up worrying, over-scheduling, the word "like," and my temper, and who has chosen to decrease her carbon footprint, this was music to my ears. I mean, it's not like I ever thought "what could I do differently for 40 days that might make a significant change in my life?" Instead I just thought "what's a source of frustration, or what could I improve upon, or what would make me happier?" And it's not like I have 100% or even 50% succeeded at these things.

but I've made a start. and that is all that matters to me.

so this year? this year is a double whammy because I think one will be kind of easy, but it's also really important to me.

I realize that there is a word that I hear EVERY day. Often, many times a day. And it makes me crazy. People use it to describe everything. How they are, what they've been up to, how their weekend was. That word, friends, is "busy." And I'm going to try not to use it anymore, or very seldom, anyway.

It's a word with negative connotations and it's keeping us from actually really conversing, and I just hate that. We just say "things have been busy" and move on. So, yeah. And with that, of course, comes changing things in my life so "busy" isn't such an appropriate description--but that's not an official part of it, just a tertiary goal.

The other thing is about exercise. Sometimes I am very good about this. Sometimes I am not. Which is fine. I'm a healthy weight, all of my stats are good (they recently checked) and all that jazz. And I generally eat very well and I've gotten much better about taking my vitamins.

Wen I have something like softball going on, I'm definitely good about exercising. The rest of the time it's harder. I mean, earlier this month I exercised five days in a row, skipped a day and then exercised two more. And then stopped.

So, my other is exercising. My goal is to exercise 30 times over lent. It might be spending time on the elliptical, it might be yoga, it might be walking the 1.5 mile path in our neighborhood one evening. Any of these count. But yes. 30 times before Easter, at a minimum. That's going to be a little challenging since I'm out of town for at least ten days between now and then--but hotels have gyms or have lighted places to walk. So. We'll see. I think I can, I think I can....

happy mardi gras everyone!

it seems all of the pictures I've taken recently have either been of food or my cats.

2011-03-01T09:52:00.003-05:00

no seriously.

look: monday's dinner. it was AMAZING. I will share the recipe. mmmmm salmon.

wednesday's lunch.

sunday's brunch.

and hazel. in a basket.

I had this whole other post in my head, but as I'm heading to like four hours of meetings in five minutes (okay, two and a half hours of meetings) I'm'akeepingitshort.

I am not a fan of Valentine's Day, BUT...

2011-02-14T11:36:00.003-05:00

1. I love it that Matt and my plans tonight include wearing pajamas, catching up on smallville and going to bed early. He owes me a dinner out, but I'm liking the low-key plan.

2. I like getting valentines. Especially from my in-laws. :D Did you know they make "dear son and daughter-in-law cards?" They SO do.

3. It helps a LOT that it's on a monday.

4. And I've been LOVING those commercials that are about how Valentines this year is not about "I love you" it's about "I love US" cuteness indeed.

Happy Valentine's everyone :)

[insert corny joke here]

2011-02-10T12:05:00.002-05:00

aka "The Awesome Corn Soup I Made Last Night."

There is this amazing fancy mexican restaurant in Durham that I LOVE. It is expensive. It is delicious. They make GOOD margaritas. They are sooooo not Tex-Mex, but they have yummy, yummy food. And this delicious creamy corn soup that I've been craving for days.

So, after talking myself out of going there for lunch repeatedly, I decided it was time to see if I could make it. I'm pretty sure theirs is better--but I'm pretty sure theirs also contains cream, and mine is healthier than that.

I started out with this recipe. It wasn't quite right, though, so I made it my own...for me the KEY was adding more flour and pureeing the corn--it thickened the soup and helped it have a yellow color.

Ingredients

1/2 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tbsp dried parsley
1 tablespoon butter
5 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 1/2 cups milk (I used a mix of skim and 2%)
1 cup chicken broth
3 (15ish ounce) cans whole kernel corn, rinsed and drained
3 tablespoons cream cheese
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
ground cayenne pepper, adobo seasoning, cumin and garlic powder to taste

Directions

In a large pot over medium heat, combine the onion, garlic, parsley and butter or margarine. Saute for about 5 minutes, or until onions are tender.
Add the flour, stirring well, to make a pasty mixture. Whisk in the milk and the broth.
In small batches, puree 2 of the three cans of corn, adding liquid from the pot to help it blend smoothly. Add pureed corn, remaining canned corn and the cream cheese to the pot and allow to heat through. Add the garlic salt, black pepper, adobo seasoning, cumin and cayenne pepper to taste. Stir together and serve.

I forgot to take a picture of it cooking, but I'll take one when I heat it up for lunch! mmm mmm MMM!

bHaObUiSeEs and BhAoBuIsEeSs

2011-02-07T18:19:00.002-05:00

babies and houses and houses and babies and babies and houses....

repeat ^ infinity.

I feel like eventually, at some point, everything I ever talk about eventually boils down to a discussion about a baby. or a house. or a baby in a house. or a house 'cause we're having a baby. you get what I mean.

except WAIT--I AM NOT PREGNANT AND WE ARE NOT TRYING. (yet)

That sentence about should have read "a house 'cause we're eventually having a baby." (fingers crossed)

But oh my goodness--talking about going to Italy? Babies. Seeing our friend's house? Babies in houses. Heck, even a really rude comment someone made about a breastfeeding mother (OMG don't even get me started!) eventually turned into a conversation about--you guessed it--babies. (And in my head I was thinking "where will I go to breastfeed when I'm cube-bound?") But I digress.

I have like eleven thousand pregnant friends. Okay, like more like at least three. But still. And then I have many friends who either a) had babies recently (and their little babies are SO cuddly!) or b) are with me in the "waiting to try to have babies but thinking about it anyway" boat.

I mean, we talk about baby names and baby clothes and cloth diapering and whether or not baby food tastes like real food and will we make our own? And how will we raise them? And is spanking okay? And will we be crazy parents? And oh my goodness gracious. Whoa.

okay, I think that's it for now. until the next time I need to tell you about a baby. or a house. I'm crossing my fingers that I'm not talking about either until June 1st at the earliest--because that's when we get back from Italy!

"I do not think that means what you think it means..."

2011-02-03T12:07:00.006-05:00

~my favorite movie EVER

Today we had a meeting with a project lead. He kept saying "the paradigm we're in" and "the paradigm in choosing between this and that" and similar phrases. He meant predicament. But that is so not what he said.

Highfalutin words are useful. Sometimes they're very specific, sometimes they make you sound smarter. Or, like, erudite. :) I mean, anthropogenic, defenestrate, picayune, punctilious, epitome, perfunctory...all good, specific words. (and for you Latin nerds, remember mutuni@tus? riiight) Paradigm is too. When used correctly.

Me? I really enjoy using the whopper-words. But I enjoy using them correctly. And you can bet your sweet bippy that I'd never use a word in front of important people (e.g., people from work) if I wasn't absolutely certain of its meaning.

I know it's a *me* thing, at least to some extent. But seriously, folks, we can do better. Let's, shall we?

And, since it's been a while since I posted pictures: some Gobi cuteness (I see this almost every morning!) and some pictures from our trip to the DP@C to see Li0n King! And our trip to Tyler's after. I love the DP@C's end-of-bathroom-line sign. And the fried pickles and special beer at Tyler's were sooooooooo yummy!

And special thanks to my iph0ne4 for taking such awesome pictures. HUGE improvement over my old one!!

you're, a mean one, mister [february]...

2011-02-01T09:42:00.003-05:00

oh, february.

I was fully prepared to not even acknowledge your arrival this month. I mean, things were going just fine! Last night I found a pair of jeans that I forgot to return in all the wedding crazy (they were in with the socks and blue ties that we couldn't find when we wanted to return them. I think some people are going to get some awesome green socks and blue ties in the future!)

when I bought them they were too small--so I was going to return them. But, I tried them on last night and since I've gotten a little smaller, they fit! Hoooooooray! See, end of January/beginning of February off to a wonderful start!

um, yeah.

and then today--this morning Matt overslept. And he must not've been feeling awesome, because he took a looooooooong shower. It's what he does when he's sad, sick, tired, hungover, you name it--he sits in the shower. Well...although I waited ten whole minutes to get in, my shower was lukewarm. And by the end of it I had goosebumps.

Oh and it meant that I didn't end up using the sinus rinse I prepared because I was afraid it wouldn't be warm enough. And then I forgot to pop it in the microwave and warm it up. Which isn't a huge deal, but it means that my sinuses are going to be unhappy later today.

Also, my friends and family in Oklahoma are experiencing a kind of snow that comes with words I've never heard of---like thundersnow. TWELVE inches of snow are predicted (PS--remember 12 inches of sn0w?) Man, I seriously loved that song. I'd make my dad play it over and over and over--especially before softball games. {shudder}

Let's see--what else...oh, I had to figure out a hodgepodge lunch (edammame, honey nut cheerios, carrots and granola) and I spilled milk three times this morning.

And February marks the beginning of our new budget. Also not fun. Necessary, but not fun. Oh and I get to spend tonight cleaning because we have a visitor coming on Thursday.

Yep. Wooooohoo February. Bah, humbug.

mozzarellllllaaaaa! geeellaaaato! brrrreadsticks!--derek, they don't serve breadsticks in italy!

2011-01-31T11:57:00.002-05:00

~courtney and derek

In May Matt and I are going on the vacation of our lives. We'll be in Italy for nine full days. We are for-sure going to Rome and Cinque Terre. We are figuring out the rest (though Florence and Venice are our current top contenders). We have just under four months to do so. :D

This is a huge deal for me because a) I have wanted to visit Rome ever since my freshman year in Latin class (which was 15ish years ago) and b)I have been as far out of the country as exotic Vancouver Canada. Don't get me wrong, Vancouver was pretty cool. We went to Butch@rt Gardens, visited a house of miniatures, and the McD0nalds had pizza. Cool, right?

After college I was going to (begrudgingly) take a trip to France. That whole freed0m fries, the French-don't-like-us thing was going on then, and we decided to change our plans. So, no international travel for me then, either.

And then, while we were engaged, Matt suggested that we take a trip to Italy, and that it be our "thing we do before we have babies." I told you about it a while ago. and we're leaving just shy of a year after I wrote that post!!

So on Saturday, after weeks and weeks of trying to pin down the details (seriously, the four of us have been talking about this since, like, August, and we've been doing the nitty gritty part of it since early December)--we FINALLY BOOKED OUR TICKETS! Ironically, when we've met up to discuss Italy we've eaten sushi, mexican and now, when celebrating our ticket purchase, we had americana. Ha!

Anyway, I am SO EXCITED to go! And despite our hilarity on Saturday night (e.g., when Derek said he was going to learn to "Talk Italian" and Courtney and I told him that he needed to learn how to "Speak English" first), which included saying the names of Italian foods while gesturing ridiculously, it's kind of still not "real" to me yet. I'm pretty sure it will be when my credit card bill comes :)

But enough about Saturday...

So, what suggestions do y'all have for places we should visit? Rome and Cinque Terre are non-negotiables, but the rest are subject to change! Just don't be offended if we don't go where you suggest--we want to do more than just see Italy--we want to experience it--and that, to us, means going fewer places and "hanging out" longer!! Also, any travel tips? Or places you'd suggested within Rome or Cinque Terre? Any and all suggestions are welcome and appreciated!!

"drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream"

2011-01-21T10:22:00.002-05:00

~everly brothers

Last night I had a dream. Matt and I very quickly bought a house. We hired movers. And we moved in.

This house had a kitchen that was all wood. I'm not sure about the actual walls or the floor or the ceiling, but the cabinets, the countertops, the backsplash were all wood. And on top of the cabinets were four big black metal boxes. One was above the sink. It had a silver hood like a commercial oven, and said "Bi0therm" on the side. If you got on a step stool you could see that at the until had water trickling out. The purpose of the other three units wasn't entirely clear, but they were all attached to the one over the sink. And in my dream I knew that it was some kind of a device that took all of the outputs from people (sweat, pee, skin, exhalations, etc) out of the air & house and processed them.

There's something fuzzy I remember about proximity to my job (which was not the job I have) and something about rearranging my office or desk, and a few other vague recollections. The other I remember is telling Matt that the kitchen needed windows or a mirror. And seeing that there was one of those retractable mirrors like you'd find in a bathroom (with the crisscross metal that expands and contracts) made entirely of wood. Except it didn't have a mirror, it was just the frame.

And then I woke up.

Annnnnnnd I looked it up on ye olde trusty dreamm00ds.com, and lo and behold, my dream was about precisely the thing that I told Jennifer about yesterday--that I feel emotionally drained, and in need of recharging. I know some people truly don't believe in interpreting dreams, and I get that. But when I remember them, I never cease to be amazed by how my dreams reflect my waking life, and/or how they provide me more insight on my reality.

"It made me feel like a good little C@tholic."

2011-01-20T17:47:00.002-05:00

~me

I was being slightly sarcastic because, um, I'm not C@tholic, I'm a Meth0dist. But at the same time, it gave me insight that I'd never really had. Matt's family is (mostly) C@tholic, so I've gone to mass with them before, but there ends my forays into that particular church's practices.

However, this past weekend I prayed a rosary. And accidentally took communion at a C@tholic church. But I'll get to that...

Matt's fantastic grandmom, Martha, passed away last week. She was 83. We got to see her on New Year's day, though, and that hour with her was worth every second of the 7 hour round-trip drive to and from Mary Alise and Michael's house, and worth every penny of the ~$44 we paid in tolls. We broke out the ip@d and showed her pictures of her newest great grandchild, little Alexis R0se, born the day before, on New Year's Eve. And we got to spend time with Matt's aunts, too.

When we spoke to her, all I wanted to do was hold Grandmom's hand. So I did. When we told her that "we were in the area" so we came to see her, she quipped that she didn't think three-and-a-half hours away was exactly "in the area." Her mind was absolutely sharp as a tack. But she was tired. And in pain. She planned out her entire funeral mass, down to the last detail. Monday evening there was a viewing, during which we prayed a ros@ry. Earlier that day I was given one of Grandmom's ros@ries. She had, oh, probably at least a thousand of them stashed around--okay, maybe not a thousand, but definitely hundreds. Some made of plastic beads she had made for her prison ministry, some of glass beads and some of wood. They found a lovely blue ros@ry that also had information about the origins of the ros@ry and was kept in a plastic & lace case. It's what I held onto as I listed to everyone pray.

For the funeral mass, five priests/fathers/monsignors lead the service. There were at least ten others--I think they called them Eucharistic Ministers--were in attendance as well. The homily was wonderful. I thought it was pretty great that Grandmom instructed the priest to tell jokes. He said he couldn't bring himself to tell actual jokes, but that he would make us smile. He did.

I have never met anyone (including my own Granny, or any pastor or priest, or any friend or worship leader) with more conviction than Grandmom. She was SO dedicated and SO giving--I think I could write for days about all of the things she did. She flew to Fatima like 27 times. She started a prison ministry. She learned how to play the guitar so she could go to seminary--they required that you know two instruments, and she only knew one. I might be slightly off on some of this, but the take-away is that she gave and gave and gave. She was very matter-of-fact and decidedly a product of another time in our history, and her faith was not a mustard seed--it was the fully blossomed mustard-seed plant, the biggest bush in the garden.

I will never forget the first time I met her, and she made us dinner, and we folded napkins to put into the programs for a service. I will always remember how the word "Fatima" sounded when she said it. And, although it's sad that she's no longer with us here on earth, it makes me smile to think that she finally got to meet her Maker face-to-face. I am also so grateful that I got to spend time with her, that Matt made a point of introducing me to her as his girlfriend rather than his fiancee (and proposed the next day!), that we got to see her at Thanksgiving, and that we drove up to see her on New Year's Day. I am thankful I got to know her, and thankful to know she is at peace.

Oh and, because I thought Grandmom would like it, when the time came for Communion I went up to the front, crossed my arms in front of me and waited for the Priest to do something signifying I had been blessed so I could move on. And suddenly a wafer was being placed into my mouth. I knew I couldn't spit it out, and I knew that turning away in that split second wasn't going to be cool either (not that it would've worked, anyway) so I ate it. And I felt really, really bad because I'd been trying to do something that Grandmom would've appreciated, and instead I inadvertently did something disrespectful! Fortunately, George (Dad Fry) told me I did all of the correct things and it wasn't my fault. Whew!

And when telling Matt's Meth0dist uncle the story (we were talking about that as all of the C@tholic stuff was happening) he laughed, told me he was pretty sure G0d didn't mind, and that's when I told him I felt like a good little C@tholic, taking Communion and praying a ros@ry. It made us both smile. :)

"I would really appreciate it if you would reschedule your trip to Italy."

2011-01-15T13:07:00.003-05:00

~my Granny

In May, Matt and I are going to Italy. We have a three week window when we're going, and we have been planning this for months. We're about a week away from booking.

Today, my Granny called to tell about the mythical family reunion. I call it mythical because we've been trying to plan it for two or three years now--no, three. this is the third Memorial Day we've talked about having it. And allegedly it is happening this year. And my dream trip, the one I've wanted to go on since high school, happens to be at the same time, so my Granny wants me to reschedule.

This? This was okay. I mean, it's not unreasonable to ask.

But...then she followed up with how she hadn't heard from my cousins yet. She'd called all three of them and asked if they were available then. So I said "well, what if they can't come? What are you going to do." And she said she would cross that bridge when she came to it, but that really, the only reason she was planning this was for them, and that it really isn't worth having the reunion if the three girls and Aunt Jackie (who is the wife of one of my grandfather's brothers) can't come.

Which, I'm not gonna lie, made me feel suuuuuuuper unimportant. For the record--there is no need, none at all, for anything to be scheduled around me. But I'm supposed to rearrange my life knowing full well that I am not even a blip on the importance radar? BOO, I say. boo.

oh, family. love 'em. le sigh.

note to self: be very conscious of how you treat your relatives when you're old and gray. you don't want your granddaughter thinking this of you.

i don't really have anything clever to say.

2011-01-14T10:28:00.002-05:00

but I am blogging anyway.

after my many-many-many-month-long period of having been under-rested and over-worked, and after hearing that all I did was talk about being busy, or wondering where my environmental discussions went, I kind of went on an unintentional blogging hiatus. You can see it in my stats. I only even got to 100 blog posts last year because I did my "october is awesome" series. Compare that to the previous year, where I had 206.

clearly, I did not have the time or, really, the desire to post much. especially when it felt like someone might say something less-than-positive in response to any given post. and it was never my "regular" readers--it was joe schmoe who follows it. and don't get me wrong, I LOVE my joe schmoes! but occasionally even a well-intended comment hurt my feelings.

and let's all get real here--no one likes having their feelings hurt.

plus, I was stresssssssed out. I would would work 10 hour days and come home to edit for hours on end. I totally did it to myself. I did. and that? it's changing. :)

I always try and make resolutions. They don't often stick. So I'm making mine nice and vague. :) You ready?

Sometime between now, and, let's say then end of 2012, I'd like to...

1. Go to Italy.
2. I'm not sure how to word this one. I'll just keep it to myself for now. You can ask if you want. You might even already know. In any case, I'll share eventually.
3. Read more. See how that's nice and non-committal?
4. Charge more for photography (already done).
5. Time my photography more intentionally. That is, have entire weekends where I have ZERO photography. Ideally, at least one or two per month. Also, stick to my guns about only having a maximum of two weddings in any thirty day period. I want quality. Not quantity.
6. Spend more time doing crafty things. Crafty things that are not on a deadline. Like knitting scarves or crocheting blankets, or making that paper flower wreath I've had in my head for a while now. Paint! Decorate! Etc.
7. Do things with greater intention. I tend to be haphazard. I need to fix this.
8. Tell more stupid jokes. (you are welcome in advance, friends!)
9. Apologize less.
10. Cook more.
11. Get more sleep.

and if I had a 12th, I would say "blog more. about whatever the hell I want."
and also maybe let things be more like water off a duck's back. :)

All do-able. All things that would improve my quality of life. Let's see how they go. :)

"I could NEVER be on faceb00k!"

2011-01-12T22:53:00.004-05:00

~Matt

after he said this I laughed so hard I fell over, continued to laugh until I cried and then made Matt help me up. I almost wish there were a picture. almost.

Matt is taking two online classes. THERE ARE NO LECTURES (which is totally unfair, ps) (although I am glad for him that he doesn't have to drudge through it) (but dammit why did I have to spend 3+ hours per week watching them?) (enough parenthetical asides....). However, part of Matt's class is posting on message boards. This week, his first week, for one class he had to introduce himself and post one other time. For the other class people had to introduce themselves (many used the exact post from the other class) and then he's required to post on three different days.

Well, guesssssss what? People are responding to his posts. They're asking about things like how *I* have cats (but Matt does not), and how he has so many engineers in his life, and how he isn't much of a reader, but I am. (ps, some of the guys in his class think their wives might like to have a reading contest with me, ha!)

but anyway, this whole e-convo stuff is making him crazy. like, literally laughing-hysterically crazy. :) because he's not used to people responding to his every response or asking questions. because Matt doesn't have faceb00k. So unlike the rest of us who have had creepy-b!tch-from-high-school or strange-guy-who-used-to-have-a-crush-on-you or old-friend-from-ten-years ago comment on our status, Matt thinks it's all crazy. And it is. But we're all mad here...I mean...I'm mad, you're mad....right? :)

In any case, it's totally cracking me up how foreign it is to him! Anyone else know people without FB that think it's nuts?

I do not live in a house of "bedmakers."

2011-01-10T15:18:00.003-05:00

But I'm so excited about our new arrangement and new chest of drawers that I might have to become one!

For quite a while now I've been eyeing this piece of furniture. I hadn't ever purchased it because it came in a very pretty blue, a lovely red, a white and a super dark black-brown color. I don't love red for decorating, the blue wasn't right for my bedroom, I didn't want white and I prefer cherry colors over the dark ones. I look at this furniture every time we go to Ike@. And then I decide not to get it.

Until now.

On Saturday, after lunch with some of Matt's teacher friends, we headed to Charlotte to meet up with my friend and Kaydee sister Karen, who was visiting someone in Charlotte. She's why I joined the house and she's a totally awesome human being. :) Anyway, after we ate a loverly appetizer with them at an Irish Pub Matt and I went to Ike@. You know, just to look. Although I did have the go-ahead to buy a new dresser if I found I liked (and that wasn't a billion dollars) because we had realized that I just didn't have enough drawer space.

And then we came upon that eight drawer dresser in a new color! A new color that we BOTH love. Which is unheard of for us. We bought it immediately. We did not have to drive home with our knees in the dash, and Matt didn't have to use the GPS to tell him the speed he was going. WHEW.

On Sunday, when I came home from church, Matt surprised me by being halfway done assembling the dresser! By the end of the night we'd cleaned up some of the clutter, re-positioned our bed and put the dresser against the wall. It was definitely a happy accident--I mean, I'd been talking about maybe rearranging our room, but hadn't decided to do it. Well....one trip to Ike@ and one moment of failing to measure in advance (we were off by only 6 inches though!) and, um, yeah. We had to rearrange or else it wasn't going to fit.

But you know what? It makes our bedroom feel huuuuuuuge. And I don't care if it's "bad fe*ng s*hui" to sleep with your bed in line with the door--I love it. It works. And although the bed isn't made, and although it was too late to finish tidying up--I love it so much that I'm gonna share pictures!

the newly-assembled and filled dresser (with things to-be-relocated on top!)

the bed from the doorway. (excuse the nightstand craziness--it just got thrown there when I moved it at 1130pm last night)

and, the best part? it's cat-tested and Gobi approved. :) He was a little freaked out when he came over and everything had been moved, but before the night was over he was all cuddled up in his spot right above my head. And even Hazel seemed less restless last night!

"'tis the season to be jolly and joyous! (fa la la!)"

2010-12-16T13:24:00.003-05:00

~a muppet christmas carol

it is SNOWING in NC. that is twice in the month of December. Twice in the SEASON. This is big news, people. BIG. It hardly ever snows in NC. and people don't know what to do when it does.

Yesterday evening by 7pm one school district had closed entirely and the other two had already delayed two hours. Before a single flake had fallen. And this is normal behavior in NC. crazysauce.

But, it's doing a lot for making me feel like it's Christmas! (hence the title) I think it's time to call Matt and finally ask him to get out the Christmas tree. It's not up yet, but hopefully soon!

Oh and? HELLO GLOBAL WARMING. I mean, yeah the name isn't the first thing you think of when it's unseasonably friggin' cold and snowing in a state where the low in December is usually in the upper 20s or low 30s at night. Someone should really just do away with that term and call it climate change, because that makes sense to everyone.

and speaking of Global Warming...we just did our gift exchange and I totally want this. It's a "global warming" mug and the coastline erodes when you put hot water in it! I should totally own it, right? :)

choosing what to eat, part deux

2010-12-14T13:40:00.002-05:00

you know, it baffles some people when I respond directly to anonymous comments. but I do. so, from the previous post:

I really think flexitarian is just another word for picky. Flexitarian carries no more moral, ethical, or political clout than omnivore. If you want some moral, ethical, or political clout to accompany your dietary decisions, just say you are a locavore and leave it at that.

actually, I think a flexitarian is far more than just another word for picky. as a matter of fact--being a flexitarian, in my mind, and in the mind of some other sources, differs from being an omnivore because you make an active choice to tailor your eating habits. that said, I am not a locavore. I try to be a locavore, I actively attempt to be a locavore, and I am a locavore a lot of the time, but I eat plenty that is not produced locally. And, while we're at it--let's just clear something up. I have no interest in moral, ethical or political clout. I have an active interest in improving the environment. Reducing my meat consumption does that. And that's a fact.

Furthermore, I'm a bit concerned by your post as it suggests to me that you might not be getting sufficient nutrients. You really cannot be a healthy vegetarian by simply replacing meat with dairy. It is an honest mistake. But, it is really not how healthy vegetarians eat.

Yeah, that's probably because I didn't lay out all of the other things I eat every day. I have ground flax seed every day. And plain organic yogurt. And an egg white sandwich for breakfast. I eat kale or spinach daily. (and to prove the point about--the kale, spinach and eggs and local. the rest is not). Yes, some of my protein comes from dairy. But you know there's also protein in broccoli. and rice. and bread. and bell peppers. and peanut butter. and there's even just a smidge in chocolate :) Thank you for your concern, but I have actually tracked what I eat and made sure I met my nutritional goals. You are definitely right though--you can't just replace meat with dairy and think everything will be hunky dory.

Legumes are your friend and you really should be consuming them in one form or another everyday that you don't eat meat.

I also eat edamame pretty frequently. And black beans. I definitely don't eat them every day I don't eat meat, but all of that tortilla soup? yep, had black beans. I put green beans in with my steamed squash, when they're in season. And I'm a big fan of hummus. This definitely made me think about adding them to our veggie quesadillas though. thanks!

The vegetarian times website has a great feature that allows you to search for recipes based upon your ingredients. You should give it a try.

I'll check it out! If anyone else wants to see this website, it's here. A lot of the recipes look rather complicated or call for semi-exotic ingredients, but if I find any good ones I'll let you know.

pescatarian? flexitarian? some-other-tarian?

2010-12-13T13:13:00.002-05:00

recently I have found that I'm just not that interested in eating meat most of the time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was super excited to have that amazing steak nicole cooked up for us last night, and I totally ate the "meat candy" (aka bacon-wrapped chicken on a toothpick) at tom's wedding on saturday. and you know I loooooove me some sushi.

but given the choice, or when planning meals, I find that I often lean towards pasta or vegetables over something else. for a while now I've been having brown rice and steamed veggies for lunch every day--for the health benefit, for the ease of prep and because it's a yummy no-brainer. (ps: any suggestions on how to steam veggies at work without using the microwave? I was fine when it was squash season, but now that it's broccoli time I've read I'll lose a ton of the nutrients by putting it in the microwave.)

I don't think I'm ready, willing or interesting in going "whole hog" vegetarian. (nice choice of words, eh?) I mean, I do like some meats and I also don't want to have to feel like my food choices place a burden on someone else. (not that anyone would actually mind, I'd just feel a little awkward) And of course, since I try very hard to eat local meats, and organic ones when possible, I feel like I'm still making pro-environmental choices. Plus, since I generally cook for two, cutting down my meat consumption means cutting down Matt's too, so in theory, it's kind of like one of use went vegetarian anyway. :)

At the same time, though, I don't know how much more meat I can cut out. When we cook meals, I'd say 2/3-3/4 of them are meatless. And those that have meat are often, say, a single breast of chicken in the whole dish, and that dish might make 4-6 servings. Last week, I took one of those dishes (my chicken tortilla soup) and just omitted the chicken.

From a what-I-eat standpoint, I was quite pleased. I just didn't feel like eating chicken! From an environmental standpoint, I don't know that for this particular meal it really made that much of an impact omitting my single breast local, organic chicken. If it had been Big-Corporation-Beef, maybe. But as I often remind people, every little bit helps.

So, for now, we will be "flexitarians." As a matter of fact, I think we've been flexitarians for quite some time now, ever since we realized we could halve our servings of meat (e.g., share a piece of salmon or chicken) and eat more veggies, and still be full. It's less expensive, generally, per meal, and it's better for us and the earth, too. Win, win, win.

With that in mind--does anyone have any really good vegetarian recipes? We eat butternut squash pasta, broccoli and cheese with shells, veggie quesadillas, breakfast-for-dinner and all sorts of pastas regularly. I'd love to expand that list!

the good ol' boys club...

2010-12-08T18:08:00.002-05:00

If you haven't yet heard, I am an engineer (and a photographer). And although I would hazard that 40% of the people in my group are women, the reality is that even now, in the so-near-the-end-of-2010-it's-practically-2011 part of the year, engineering is a male-dominated field. I mean, it's no longer taboo for a woman to be a part of it, and we aren't fighting for street cred anymore, but we're still not equal.

which is fine. I mean, it is what it is, and I'm no Rosie the R!veter, at least not when it comes to this topic, so it's fine.

However....

I'm part of an organization where I serve as Secretary. I have for three years. And I am SO not who they had in mind. Even at thirty, young-looking female me just doesn't jive well with the gray haired old men. They are stodgy and old-fashioned and half the time purposefully ignore me while I talk.

Which is annoying, for sure. And has somewhat motivated me to try to climb the ranks, both for the awesomeness of my career and for the experience of having done so. But I'm just not sure. It's a three-year commitment (Vice-Chair, Chair and Past-Chair) and with hopes of babies and life changes during that time I just don't know. And I'm not sure I want to be the young female leader of the good ol' boys club.

But, I find it a smidge ironic that in the same day I'm talking about this, I am overjoyed at having been invited to attend a happy hour tomorrow that is also for a good ol' boys club. It's different people and it's with my old mentor, but it's still a good ol' boys club. Meeting some of these people and interacting with them on a social level will be good for the longevity of my career. And I'm excited about going to hang out with a bunch of old men. Who knew?

Oh and yesterday I went to a dinner for this same organization. The speaker SANG. Like, literally brought his guitar and broke out into song--a song that he wrote, mind you. And my table consisted of four of us from my work, an older gent who was way drunk, my friend Ye, a younger guy we didn't know named Dave and--get this--the Vice President of my division. Aka my boss' boss' boss. Just sitting between the drunk guy and Dave, who had no idea he was a big wig. While we drank Heinies and watched an engineer sing songs about the environment.

it was kind of awesome, I am not going to lie.

and it reminded me of how inspired I felt then. and how I am making a difference. and how when I get caught up in the crazy busy I need to remember that it's worth it. seeing the photos of cities 40 years ago and seeing the photos of them now, and how you can SEE, and how so many of the visible pollutants are trending down, and knowing I'm a cog in that wheel made me really happy. so thanks, song-singing speaker, I needed that. :)

i keep wanting to update.

2010-12-01T14:49:00.002-05:00

but updating seems to require pictures. either downloading or taking.

e.g. I want to tell you about thanksgiving but I have yet to download the single picture I took.
additionally, I want to tell you about blanket progress, but alas, I keep forgetting to take a picture.

what I DO want to tell you is that I'm ready for it to get cold here. like, blisteringly chilly. I'd like snow please. and hot soup. and lots of blankets. I'd like to have power when that happens, though, if that's not too much to ask.

hands down, no contest--my least favorite thing about living in NC is that there's not a real winter here. I miss the snow. a lot. but man oh man do I love the trees here!

speaking of holiday-ish things...Matt and I really need to get on that. Our tree is still in the garage. With all of the ornaments. And I still have my super-awesome fall wreath on our door. I have a really lovely Christmas one, and it needs to go up. It's also officially time to start listening to Christmas music. :) Also, as a part of this Christmas season, my father-in-law discovered our mutual dislike for anything Christmas-related before Thanksgiving. Hence, N0rdstroms is our new favorite store. For the record, I don't count choir practicing in that list, because starting the cantata on the practice after Thanksgiving sounds like a miserable way to do it!

and now it's time to drink more mint tea. :)

feeling sew crafty...

2010-11-18T13:39:00.003-05:00

yes, the sew was on purpose.

for a few months now I've found myself wanting to be crafty. I keep thinking of all sorts of crafty, home-decorator-ee things I want to do. I want to paint a wall in the upstairs bathroom. And paint a fall picture. And paint the half bathroom, too (but Matt would keel over if I tried to do that).

but those aren't "crafts" per se--just creative/decorator-ee.

I also had it in my head that I wanted to make this really awesome wreath like Renee had made--but then she extra super kindly made one for me for my birthday and I love love love it and it makes me smile when I see it every single day. :) see?

but anyway.

so, I have two half-finished projects at my house. one is a blanket that I began crocheting many, many years ago. it's a simple chevron pattern and I'd say I'm about 1/3 of the way through. I have had a couple setbacks along the way (namely, they stopped manufacturing all of the colors of yarn that I was using and I didn't have enough) but I recently got the urge to crochet and I'm sticking with it!

the other one is absolutely inspired by my very recent green and white craft project we've been working on for the new kaydee chapter at nc state. it's a secret, but it's involved a rotary cutter and a sewing machine, and it has made me miss something else I started once upon a time--my quilt. katie, you'll be glad to know I've decided to actually complete it!

I mean, I already did the hard part--three and a half years ago katie and I cut out all the pieces. now I just have to sew it together! And it's a very, very simple pattern, so I'm just going to make it happen. not sure when, but it's absolutely on my radar! maybe I'll work on it some in december/january when the photo stuff is sloooooow. :)

anyhoo, enjoying the craftage. just had to share. progress pictures soon!

it's my [blog] and I'll [post it later] if I want to.

2010-11-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

um, yeah. so much for that whole october is awesome plan. 21 days was a good start though, yes? and then it got a little crazy. okay, a lot crazy. but that's okay, 'cause I finished it right up. just now. but about that craziness...

perhaps it was the four weddings I photographed.
or the amazing 30th birthday weekend.
or the beer festival.
or the fabric shopping.
or maybe, just maybe, it was the nine photo sessions.
or the copious amount of beer.

but somehow, some way, I ended up behind. like, in life. and I am still playing catch-up. I'm booking sessions like gangbusters, but my to-edit list is long. good news: I am not burned out. bad news: I probably can't keep up this pace without reaching there sometime soon. I have two weddings left--one this weekend and one in December. when i'm done I will have photographed thirteen weddings. my dear friend nicole does this full time and photographed like 27 or something. which tells me that I booked too many and I need to pare it down for next year. at least I had a TON of fun doing it :)

on the blogging list:

cheese making
birthday festivities
everything apple
and some other goodies. soon, I hope!

october is awesome. thirty-one.

2010-10-31T15:27:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: fall decorations. punny nerdy pumpkins are my fave. :) I especially appreciate the perfect shape of the Pi. and this was taken in semora, nc near a bunch of farms. nerds are everywhere, I tell ya. :)

october is awesome. thirty.

2010-10-30T15:19:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: cooking. I love making all the warm foods in october--the soups, the baked pastas, the casseroles. and this october olivia, jennifer and I had a cheesemaking adventure-slash-failure-slash-butter-making-success! I love using all of the squashes and leafy greens. I'm getting hungry just typing this!

ps: you MUST try this. I think it is the bees knees--and my new favorite dinner recipe! It's something Matt can make, and I have started asking for it probably once a week--though he usually only relents every other week. (though it is my new favorite, he just thinks it's "good" and therefore isn't thinking about it all the time like I am, ha!)

october is awesome. twenty-nine.

2010-10-29T15:17:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: the leaves. oh my goodness, the leaves. I am probably not a very safe driver during daylight hours while "the colors" are changing. because I just stare. and take it all in. and lock it away so during all of the other seasons I can remember the gorgeous fiery colors of the leaves.

october is awesome. twenty-eight.

2010-10-28T15:15:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: decorating the house. something about the slightly colder weather (perhaps the inclination to stay indoors!) makes me want to paint and redecorate. I think Matt is very afraid because I want to paint the yellow in the kitchen a different shade of yellow, re-do a piece of furniture I just bought (an awesome dresser/buffet for $55!), paint a wall in the guest room and clean out the garage. anyway. I also made us a new menu board that coordinates perfectly with our kitchen!

october is awesome. twenty-seven.

2010-10-27T15:13:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: sushi. okay, in all fairness, sushi is not unique to october. but this was BIRTHDAY sushi, paired with free edamame, free miso soup, free green tea icecream, four tall beers and three of my most favoritest people in the whole wide world. and sushi that was followed up with a surprise party at fullsteam. and the sushi was delish. :)

october is awesome. twenty-six.

2010-10-26T15:11:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: the fair. every year we've been together matt and I have gone to the fair. we always ride the gondola-type ferris wheel and we always eat ourselves silly. this year was no exception. more on this soon. :)

october is awesome. twenty-five.

2010-10-25T15:08:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: kappa delta. did you know that KD and I share a birthday? well, we sure as heck do! she's 83 years older than I am, but we celebrate together :) these are the lovely KD ladies that helped me celebrate at fullsteam!

october is awesome. twenty-four.

2010-10-24T15:06:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: birthday cards. did you know that this is the first birthday card I have EVER received from a niece? And little katlyn even colored it for me! I'm not gonna lie, I teared up when I opened it!

october is awesome. twenty-three.

2010-10-23T15:05:00.001-04:00

in october, i love: birthday pumpkin pie. made by ME! using my great grandmother's recipe, glass rolling pin and pyrex dish. LOVE. I am very proud to come from a long line of pie-bakers!

october is awesome. twenty-two.

2010-10-22T15:01:00.000-04:00

(playing a little catch-up)

in october, i love: apples. I have always liked apples. this year I LOVE them. apple butter, apples as a snack, apples in salads. mmmm apples! as I type this I'm eating an AMAZING fuji apple jessica brought me from ohio!

october is awesome. twenty-one.

2010-10-21T19:27:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: greens. specifically growing my own. some of which will end up in my (week)daily green smoothies! and in salads! mmmhmm!

this isn't the first (or the last) time I'll write about baby names

2010-10-21T11:39:00.002-04:00

I have a cousin with whom I don't really get along. Oh, I mean, we hug each other when we see one another, and when I'm in their neck of the woods we meet up for lunch or whatever. I like him as a human being. But he and I have very, very little in common.

I'm liberal. He's conservative.
I'm broad-minded, religiously speaking. He puts God in a very well-defined box.

And a long time ago there was a....let's go with incident...where he lectured me on what was "Godly" and how I might go to hell for leaving my ex-husband. How I should stick it out for 5 years, have some kids and then make it work for the sake of the children. When I said, um, "hell no" he proceeded to let me know that, well, it's not really like we were actually married anyway, according to the Catholic church, so what was I so upset about anyway?

riiiiiiiiiiiight.

I actually think he had good intentions, for the record. But when I told him how hurtful he was being, it didn't seem to matter. Additionally, that is the only time he and I have ever spoken on the phone as adults. Ever.

And on the off chance he, or his wife, or one of our relatives is reading this, well--I'm telling it like it is. It was a long time ago. There's a lot more dirty laundry I could air, but I think this encounter sums it up--he and I can co-exist just fine (and heck, sometimes even enjoy one another's company) but at the core of our respective persons, we just don't mesh.

so.

about the baby name part...as I mentioned here and here we like the name Nathaniel Jahue and Lilah something-or-other. Matt has been planning on a George IV since his brother decided not to have kiddos. And I have loved the name Cleona for probably 15 years now. Here's a post where I mentioned it in 2005.

Previously, when this cousin had a little boy, I was TERRIFIED that he would be choosing Jahue as a middle name for his son. Partially because I plan on having it as a middle name for a boy, but also because my brother Adam plans to have John Jahue J*nk the 2nd. We are just fine with one another's use of the name, by the way.

But now I am afraid that I've gotten myself in a sticky situation. My cousin's wife is pregnant with a little girl and was asking for names. I suggested Vera, which is a family name. I love that name, but it wouldn't work with Matt's last name very well. I also felt torn--do I mention Cleona and say we've staked claim because, um, hello, I'm her namesake? Or do I pretend like it doesn't exist and hope she doesn't find it in our family annals? I went with the mention and stake claim to be safe--I guess we'll see how it goes. It's just...it's just that since my cousin and I don't go together like peas and carrots, if they like the name Cleona, I'm afraid they might disregard my feelings on the matter. Or request it anyway, a'la Friends.

Another cousin of mine threw out the name Lila--and although I'd be sad to let that possibility go (because really, two second cousins named Lila is tricky.) I would be really miffed if they picked Cleona.

does anyone else worry about things like this with family names? I know my friend Renee does (her amazing 100+ year old Great Grandmother's name is Mora, and she's not the only one who wants to carry on that name!). But does anyone else?

I mean, I am SURE it will all work out. Who knows if those names will actually fit our children? Who knows if we'll even have children? Etc. But these things are running around my brain today, so I had to share....

october is awesome. twenty.

2010-10-20T17:26:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: fall flowers. particularly fall-colored flowers from my husband. cute, yes? and the colors make me oh so happy!

sometimes I wonder if I'm making things up

2010-10-20T10:28:00.003-04:00

or exaggerating. I mean, yeah, between my two jobs I work a lot. I work weekends, I work evenings and I work days. But I like what I do, and generally enjoy both the engineering and the photography.

and I knew October was going to be a smidge nutso, so I've tried to schedule in down time and all that good stuff. I mean, I even took Monday off to rest since I had a wedding on Saturday and another wedding on Sunday.

but, um, my body is telling me that my efforts aren't working. I'm being plagued by something that last happened to me SIX years ago, right around this time of year. there was a lot of sh*t going on then--and I'd link to it, but it happened before I even had a blog!! as it turns out, I have something called per1eche. or angular che1itis. (those 1s are ls, people--I just don't want the go0gle monster to find me!) before forewarned there are pictures--but here's a description, check it. right now it isn't too bad, and they've called in a prescription, and I should be right as rain in no time. definitely before my birthday!

but since I know it's not a vitamin deficiency, and since I don't wear dentures, I don't lick my lips (and they aren't chapped) and since this is what happened last time--this means it's a compromised immune system. i.e., allergies + stress + not enough sleep = problem. which means that no, I'm not just being wimpy--this is the real deal, and I need to do better with the whole taking-care-of-myself thing.

this makes me want to leave work early and take a nap :)

october is awesome. nineteen.

2010-10-19T18:16:00.002-04:00

in october, I love: fall veggies, soup fixin's (how do you spell that? it's fixin'--so how do you make it plural? anyone, anyone? bueller?) and my new dr pepper crate. I have wanted a vintage dr pepper crate for.ev.er. like, since high school. and when I found one on etsy I snatched it up post haste. convenient that it goes with my kitchen, huh?

october is awesome. eighteen.

2010-10-18T10:15:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: gourds. and pumpkins. and their awesomeness. need I say more?

october is awesome. seventeen.

2010-10-17T22:12:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: weddings. this month I'll be shooting four of them. two were this past weekend. one was for my friends lisa and richard. and I LOVED shooting it. and? it was a wonderful way to celebrate six months of marriage for matt and me. :)

october is awesome. sixteen.

2010-10-16T14:06:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: tomatoes. specifically the heirloom black cherry tomatoes that are still thriving in my little patio garden. and by thriving I mean they're a huge monstrosity covering practically the entire fence--but I am still gonna have DOZENS o' fresh tomatoes. and any that are left over I will put in a box with a banana and eat later. no, really. unfortunately my roma tomatoes weren't as abundant as they were at my old place--but I'll still take these little guys any day of the week!

october is awesome. fifteen.

2010-10-15T10:49:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: my front door decoration. it's my favorite of the year. and let me tell you, it stays up alllllllll the way through thanksgiving. except maybe this year I'll change it out after october is over, if I get a chance to make one of these...

october is awesome. fourteen.

2010-10-14T15:26:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: concerts. this is the avett brothers--they played in raleigh on the 8th. last year we got to see sk6ers play in october (and played this year too!). the year before the shins played here. if we weren't otherwise occupied, we'd also be seeing vampire weekend play this october. there are ALWAYS good shows in october.

let's play a game...

2010-10-14T14:35:00.003-04:00

the game is: can you guess what olivia, jennifer and I are going to MAKE tonight? all by our little selves.

here are your clues (in order). write them out. hint: two words.

1. eminem - &m.
2. the land where dorothy goes. +z.
3. the first two letters of my middle name, in reverse.
4. when anne hath@way is enchanted, her first name is...
5. the kind of jokes I like to tell -y + e.

:)

first one to guess it correctly gets a prize!

ten more days in my twenties.

2010-10-13T16:38:00.003-04:00

and I am PUMPED.

birthday party planned by matt? check. (I hear I will like it--it is a surprise!)
plans for the weekend arranged? check.
plans to clean our house covered? check.
enjoying my birthday month? check-carat-infinity!!

additionally, I have devised a clever plan. as I will be turning 30, I am quite sure that a handful of people I know will feel inclined to call me "old." one girl has already said it TWICE and I'm not even there yet. but anyway, I have a plan...

if someone calls me old, I will be buying them a shot. specifically, a shot called "ch0ke a b!tch. " you might remember that my friend amy and I had one at my bachelorette. let me share a picture--before. then during. check out that grimace.

right. so. you call me old, I buy you a drink. likely the worst drink you've ever had. seriously, I thought cement mixers and brain hemorrhages were bad. they've got nothing on this disgustingly named shot. ew. ew. ew. (and in case you are wondering, we ended up with this delectable delight because the bartender thought we asked for the worst shot she could thing of--when no, we asked for the one with the worst NAME. okay in all fairness it might be one and the same)

anyhoodle. it's october. matt keeps asking me if I'm enjoying celebrating my birthday month. and I totally, totally am. and it's not even halfway over yet! yippee!

october is awesome. thirteen

2010-10-13T11:48:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: the beer festival. it happens every year the first or second weekend of october. this year we went with karen & rich and olivia & adam. it was SO fun. funny quotes include

"I'm not gonna let any of the other boys touch my pretzels." ~olivia.
"I'm drunk enough to tell you that your hair is really pretty." ~random drunk guy, to me.
"We need to find a member of the opposite sex." ~random drunk guy, who wanted some of my pretzels on my necklace. I told him he could have some as long as he wasn't dirty about it. he was actually really nice about it.
"Don't you get tired of hearing 'raging b*tch?'"~ me, to the lady serving the beer of the same name

etc. :)

october is awesome. twelve.

2010-10-12T13:36:00.001-04:00

in october, I love: the weather. this month some days are nice enough to sit outside for lunch, and other days let you rock your cute jacket and gloves. love it! this is from lisa and my lovely lunch at nantucket grill yesterday. can't believe the next time I see her she'll be at her wedding rehearsal!

october is awesome. eleven.

2010-10-11T10:34:00.001-04:00

in october, i love: herbs. this is the basil right off my patio. for perspective, this stuff is growing up taller than my waist! october in NC is especially awesome since things are still growing here. :)

october is awesome. ten.

2010-10-10T13:43:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: pumpkins. especially CSA mini pumpkins. cute cute cute! and on my favorite dish towel? even cuter!

october is awesome. nine.

2010-10-09T17:18:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: did I mention dish towels? :)

october is awesome. eight.

2010-10-08T15:14:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: dishcloths! this is my very favorite one I own--at least for the fall :) when I saw it in target I picked it up and bought it IMMEDIATELY. I am a total sucker for cute dishcloths!

october is awesome. seven.

2010-10-07T19:13:00.000-04:00

in october, i love: socks. and toms. and fall colors. these shoes are really, really comfy!

october is awesome. six.

2010-10-06T19:10:00.001-04:00

in october, I love: the weather. seriously? 74 with no heat on AND the air conditioner off too? LOVE it. we regulate our temperature just a smidge by opening one of the guest room windows--fresh air and coolness without making the house super-chilly. awesome!

just. plain. weird.

2010-10-06T10:23:00.002-04:00

I promise this is the limit of TMI for this post; today I go for my annual lady doctor visit.

I am seeing a new doctor whose office is in Durham. I chose this office because a) it was recommended and b) it is close to my house. because great googley moogley, today I am going to talk to her about having a baby in the not-crazy-distant future. I still plan on riding the no-baby train for a little while longer, but I am also planning on getting a map and schedule so I know when I've reached my stop.

It is really freaking weird to have gotten to that point in my life. Maybe you folks with babies know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe things happened differently for you and this wasn't part of your process. But yesterday while filling out my paperwork I realized that I'd been taking the pill for THIRTEEN years. For cramps and acne initially, but eventually the birth control aspect was important too.

Anyway. I realized yesterday that today I am going to be discussing things like prenatal vitamins and what the process is when you decide to go off the pill. About things I need to do, ways to prepare, things I should take or stop taking and the like.

But then it occurred to me too that I need to at least ask about things like their view on natural childbirth. and how they feel about c-sections. and midwives. Because this doctor, or the ones at this practice, might be the ones who DELIVER A BABY for me some day. this is just plain bizarre that my head is even contemplating this!

and then my mind started spiraling a little 'cause it's flu shot time, and I have exactly zero desire to get one--EVER--what will my doctor say? and then it made me think of the stories I've read about pediatricians refusing to see children whose parents opted to not complete all of their immunizations. aaah!

for now, I shall go and talk about vitamins. and at least say "so, what's this practice's take on the more granola/natural aspects of pregnancy/labor/delivery?"

it was really surreal earlier this year when I was talking about allergy therapy and had to ask my ENT what would happen if I got pregnant because I might be doing this whole allergy drop thingie for 3-5 years. but now to be like "hi, we just met. next time I see you I hope I'm either pregnant or trying, thanks." WHOA.